


Every Color in the World

by NuwandaSnicket



Series: Carry On [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A.U, Alternate Universe - High School, Brief homophobia, Deal with it. :P, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff, Humor, I write Dean as a blond., John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Slash, Slice of Life, Yaoi, Young Jensen was pretty blonde.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-02-14 10:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 134,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2187549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuwandaSnicket/pseuds/NuwandaSnicket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester wasn't a hipster.  He just really really liked thrift shops.</p><p>(Or)</p><p>Once again the new kid in school, Dean is immediately noticed by the hipster crowd, who like his quirky clothes and bizarre personality.  He's not interested....until he catches sight of the blue-eyed stranger he'd met at a tag sale the day before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I write Dean as a blonde. Young Jensen was pretty damn blonde. Deal with it. :P

It was a gorgeous autumn day. The sun was out but it wasn’t overly bright, and the air was cool and crisp. There was a gentle breeze sending falling leaves dancing across the grass.

In other words, it was perfect weather for tag saling. 

It was always difficult being the new kid in school, but being new in town? That was always an adventure. If there was one thing Dean loved, it was anything vintage. Normally he got his fill by going from thrift shop to thrift shop, but when his family moved towns (which happened more often than he’d like)…..well then he got to explore the findings of a whole new town. Dean _lived_ for town-wide tag sales, those wonderful days when at least fifteen houses in the same town would participate in a tag sale. He couldn’t say how many amazing things he’d gotten at those events. His dad was always pestering him to throw some of it out, saying he didn’t need so much of it, but it was all too old, too fascinating, and he couldn’t bear to part with it.

It really was gorgeous out. He had the sleeves rolled up on his plaid button down, wearing it open so the faded Metallica shirt was visible beneath. His form-fitting black jeans were tucked into dark black boots that he had found at Goodwill a couple years ago. Sammy had been thoroughly disgusted that he was buying used footwear. (“But Dean, someone else’s feet have been in there!” “That’s history, Sammy.”) Dean smiled. Sam just didn’t see vintage the same way as he did.

A breeze blew, sending a cold gust of air by, ruffling his hair and the scarf around his neck. It was a pattern of stripes in alternating shades of light and dark blue and completely clashed with everything else he was wearing. His father called it girly and said he had no business wearing it, but it had been his mother’s and he’d be damned if anyone would stop him. His smile turned somewhat wistful. She had always appreciated a good tag sale….

Dean stopped dead. There, underneath the table, was a box of record albums. He made a beeline straight for it, as though drawn by magnet.

“Deeeaaaan!”

Dean was only vaguely aware of his name being called, the whine a dim noise in the background as he examined his find.

“ _Dean!_ ”

Sam’s voice was painfully loud, practically yelled in his ear. “Ow!” He rubbed his ear, looking up from where he was crouched by the records. “What is it, Sam?”

The thirteen year old glared down at him. “We’ve been here for almost an hour! Just this one tag sale!”

Shit. Dean hadn’t realized it had been that long. He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Sammy. Just this one last thing, okay? Then we’ll go.”

Sam nodded, placated, and moved away to rifle through some books.

“Well, isn’t that sweet.”

The voice was teasing. Dean looked up, finding himself face to face with a little smirk, but that wasn’t what caught his attention. No, it was the eyes that went with that smile: two gorgeous orbs that might have been cut from sapphires for how deep a blue they were. The boy had a shock of messy brown hair that looked like it would feel amazing to touch. He was wearing an emerald sweater that was WAY too big on him, hanging off one bony shoulder, and a pair of black skinny jeans that were cuffed up. Cuffed up…..in _September_ , for God’s sake. 

“See something you like?”

Dean realized he’d been staring. He flushed. “Not when what’s inside the package is clearly so obnoxious.”

The boy’s brows shot up in surprise; a laugh burst forth. “Got a mouth on you, don’t you.”

Dean shrugged one shoulder, his attention back on the records, thumbing through them. “Look who’s talking.” He wasn’t fazed by this boy or his attitude. In all honesty, Dean had had far worse many times before. Being the new kid so many times, he had quickly grown accustomed to what kind of assholes teenagers could be. This kid was nothing. He was probably just kidding around, though who knows? He could be a huge asshole. Dean didn’t know and he shouldn’t care. But there was something about him that made Dean curious, something tugging him to learn more. But Dean wasn’t going to let any of that spoil his tag saling, his last day before school began and life started to suck again. No, he was going to finish here, buy Sammy the books he knew his brother was desperately eyeing (kid probably had thirty by now) and then leave, putting this kid out of mind.

“Do you mind letting me look at those, too?”

….apparently putting him out of mind was going to be harder than expected. Dean glanced up and saw the boy regarding him with a raised brow. 

“The records. I’d like to look, too, if you don’t mind.” Dean shook his head, grabbing the box and hoisting it up, setting it on the table. He was rewarded with a smile for his efforts. “Thanks.” 

Dean nodded and moved to continue looking through the records, but the boy did at the same time, their hands brushing. His fingers were incredibly soft, and cold. “….I…” Dean wasn’t quite sure what to say. “…..hope you don’t mind starting in the middle,” he finished, turning back to where the box of records was already half leafed through. “I already looked through a bunch of them.”

He thought he could feel amusement radiating off of the other boy, but he ignored it. Could have been imagining it. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what this boy was looking for, cuz he sure wasn’t picking anything out. Dean himself picked out a Queen album and an Erik Satie record, both eliciting noises from the boy beside him (the first a quiet chuckle, the second a pensive “hmm”.) Suddenly, a title stuck out at him and he grabbed for the record so fast he himself almost didn’t register it. Unfortunately, the other guy grabbed for it, too, and managed to catch the corner of it before Dean could completely pull it out of reach.

“No,” Dean said, but his voice came out much more plaintive than firm. “This one’s mine.”

“You have two,” the boy pointed out, grip not loosening in the slightest. “I don’t have any.”

“That’s your own fault. This….I need this one.”

The boy’s blue eyes took on a look of extreme interest. “Why?”

Dean looked down at the record held in their hands, the Beatles ‘Revolution’, with _Hey Jude_ on the B side. “……I just do,” he answered, his voice almost too soft to hear.

There was a moment where the world seemed almost silent, as if there was no one but the two of them as Dean waits and wants, and then, unbelievably, the boy didn’t just release the record, he gently pressed it into Dean’s hands. Dean looked up at him, green eyes filled with surprise, and those blue eyes looked back at him with a gentle understanding. Somehow, without knowing the situation, this boy still understood how important the record is to Dean. Dean felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/record%20store_zpsgbtmz9tj.png.html)

“Thank you,” he whispered. The boy nodded at him, and suddenly Dean couldn’t bear that softness anymore, that understanding. He turned and went to Sam, who had been watching the proceedings with curiosity.

“Dean, who was-“

“Grab your books, Sammy, we’re done.”

True to his guess, Sam had picked out more books than he could carry on his own. Thankfully, Dean had been so flustered at the end that he hadn’t gone back for any of the other items he had admired; he had only left with the three records. When they got home, he helped Sammy get all his books into his new bedroom, where the little nerd promptly flopped on his bed and began reading happily.

Dean headed into his own room, tugging his turntable out from under his bed and carefully setting a record into place.

_“Hey, Jude…don’t make it bad.”_

Dean lay back on the floor, arms folded behind his head, eyes shut. The so-familiar song played on, and if for once he thought not only of his mother but of big blue eyes and a smirking mouth, no one had to know.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for all of you who left comments on my first Destiel piece, 'Conquer Over Me'. So many of you said you were waiting for my next piece and honestly at the time I had nothing in mind. So I've been listening to music and looking for inspiration and lo and behold, this popped up. So this is all thanks to you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is IMPORTANT to note that I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIPSTERS. I believe that every group, be they hipsters, goths, punks, preppies, whoever, have their jerks. In this case, it just happens to be hipsters.
> 
> Also, Lucas is Lucifer. I'm sorry, but in no AU can I see someone naming their child Lucifer.

The first day at school is always hard. Making their way through the crowd of students milling around outside the building, Dean could feel the eyes following him and his brother. He itched to take Sammy’s hand like he used to whenever they started a new school, but he knew that Sam was too big for that now and would absolutely HATE it. It was just his overprotective big brother urges kicking in, wanting to pull Sam close and shield him from all the crap Dean knew Sam was gonna be put through that day. He ached at the thought of it.

At the front door, Dean stopped, catching Sam’s jacket. “Hey, c’mere a second.” Sam stopped, reluctantly, as if he knew what was coming next. 

“Now, I’m not gonna tell you to come to me if anyone gives you a hard time, cuz I know you can take care of yourself,” and Dean saw the hint of a smile on Sam’s face at the words. 

“But I want you to know that you CAN come to me. It doesn’t make you a wimp or a baby or anything. I’m your big brother. That’s what I’m here for.”

Sam was full on smiling now, and Dean was pretty sure that, were they not in the middle of a huge crowd, many of whom were still staring, Sam would give him a hug. “Thanks, Dean.”

“No problem.” He resisted the urge to ruffle Sam’s hair. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Dean laughed at the punch that accompanied the familiar name-calling, and the two headed inside. They still had to find their lockers before class.

“Okay, Sammy, looks like this is where we go our separate ways.”

Sam nodded. He was still smiling, but Dean could read him well enough to see the hint of nervousness in his eyes. He again had to restrain himself from messing with Sam’s hair, this time to reassure him. “It’ll be fine. I’ll see you this afternoon, yea?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean smiled. “Bye, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “It’s SAM,” he groused, and adjusted his backpack as he walked away. Dean stifled a laugh. Yeah, Sam would be fine. Now he just had to worry about himself.

 

**~*~**

 

“Class, this is Dean Winchester.”

Of all the parts of transferring schools, this ranked high on the list of bits Dean hated most. Standing in front of a class of disinterested teens while the teacher tried to get them to like him? Didn’t they realize that after elementary school, no one gave a shit about a new student? At least not in the ways the teachers wanted. Kids just wanted to gossip, to find out any dirty details they could.

Sure enough, the gazes greeting Dean were, for the most part, bored or full of that greedy sort of curiosity, the kind that had nothing to do with a genuine interest in someone as a _person_ and everything to do with interest in them as a _thing_.

He was, however, surprised to hear a chorus of “hi, Dean Winchester,” coming from the corner of the room, by the windows. His gaze whipped around. There was a tiny group of students there, all grinning. He couldn’t tell if it was meant to be mocking or not. It looked like it was, but not in a mean way. Like they were laughing with him, like “don’t you think this whole thing is stupid? We couldn’t agree more. It is _so_ stupid.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about it exactly, but it was rather nice to have someone seem….well…..not either bored by him or out to squeeze info from him. No, these kids didn’t seem to want anything of him. It was refreshing. Still, he knew better than to let his guard down. Dean had learned long ago that rarely was anyone what they seemed.

The teacher’s voice brought his mind back to the present. “Do you have anything you want to share with the class?” Mrs. Harrison asked.

He stared at her for a moment, looked around the room, looked back at her. “…I like pie?”

That got a burst of laughter from the group in the corner, and laughs from a few others as well. He smiled. There. Let THAT be the first bit of information to circulate about Dean Winchester. _Gossip about THAT, bitches_.

Mrs. Harrison didn’t look amused, but she didn’t look upset, either. She just shook her head. “Sit down, Mr. Winchester.”

He gratefully headed to the nearest empty desk and sat down. Mrs. Harrison returned to her own desk, pulling out her notes for class. It was then that she noticed that Dean had not pulled out any notebooks or books. “Mr. Winchester, where are your books?”

 _……crap_. He’d been hoping he wouldn’t need them the first day. “I forgot them.”

“Where?”

“………..in my locker.”

More laughter. Mrs. Harrison was simply staring at him. “In your locker,” she repeated the words as though to make sure she was hearing him correctly.

“……yea….” Well, that wasn’t fully true. “Honestly, there was more of an accident….?”

“An accident? With your books?”

“….more with the locker….”

Mrs. Harrison seemed to be at a loss. “…..Mr. Winchester, are your books in one piece?” He nodded. “And your locker is intact and operable?”

".......I think so."

Mrs. Harrison paused as though trying to decide whether to pursue this further. “Alright." Apparently she had decided not to continue. "Then I expect you to have them at our next class.” With that, she turned to the blackboard and launched into the day’s lesson.

Dean sank lower into his chair, arms folded across his chest. _So much for remaining low on the radar_.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean headed straight to his locker after class. He didn’t have any of his books, not just the ones for Mrs. Harrison’s English class. Thankfully it opened. He hadn't been sure it would.

“Hey, Winchester!”

Dean shut his eyes, allowing himself a moment just to breathe. _Here it comes_. It was about to start for real: the pestering and the questions and all the other invasive annoyances. But when he opened his eyes and turned, the person, no, people, beside him were those strange kids from class. He was surprised. “Um, hi?”

“Hi.” The boy speaking had dark brown hair and a friendly enough smile. “I’m Michael.”

Dean shut his locker door, careful this time not to slam his scarf in it (you want to talk about reputations you don’t want to spread around? Try being the kid to get stuck in his locker. Thank God the halls had been mostly empty that morning) and turned to Michael. “I’d introduce myself, but I think you were all present for that.” He looked over Michael’s shoulder at the crowd assembled. There was a girl with blonde hair cropped close to her head, another with long, wavy, chestnut brown locks, and a third with long, light brown hair; a boy with dirty blond hair and some scruff on his face, and one with chocolate brown skin and narrowed eyes. Michael was at the front, almost like a leader. None of them looked threatening enough, or even as if they had any bad intentions, but based on that formation alone, Dean wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

“So, what’s up,” he asked at last, leaning back against his locker. They didn’t have long til next period, but he was going to hear them out. You never know…..if this went somewhere good, he could end up making a few friends.

“Well, we just saw you in class and thought….what with the way you talk…”

Dean’s brow furrowed. “The way I talk?” he echoed.

“I love pie’…..remember?” It was the blonde who spoke. She had a nasty tone to her voice. It wasn’t as if she was being mean….there was just something there, as if the personality that lay beneath that pretty exterior were not quite so sweet as the outside. Dean put another mark in the ‘negative’ column of….whatever this was.

“Yeah. The way you talk….the things you say. Your sort of…..quirkiness…” 

Dean’s brows shot up at that. He’d never heard it put quite like THAT before. “Quirkiness,” he repeated.

“Yeah,” Michael continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Dean was finding this all incredibly strange. “And your clothes.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “What about my clothes.” He put another negative mark down before he even heard the explanation. He didn’t take any crap about his clothes from his dad; he sure wasn’t going to take any from THESE people.

“Yeah.” Michael gestured to Dean’s clothes, then to the group of them. “Well, we thought you’d…well….fit in.”

Confused, Dean looked at the lot of them, and it didn’t take long to see what Michael meant. Each one of them was wearing vintage clothing, things picked up at thrift shops or flea markets. He put that together with the comment about his personality and only one word came to mind: hipsters. He wasn't sure exactly how to take that. But he definitely didn't like the way they were talking to him, and the fact that they were asking him to join them, almost as if they were _recruiting_ him, for God’s sake.

He opened his mouth to give the only answer he could give ( _Fuck_ , no) when he was interrupted by the sound of running and a new figure burst through the group.

“Castiel!”

Dean stared, for there, standing before him, bent over with his hands on his knees as he panted to catch his breath, was none other than the blue-eyed stranger from the tag sale. His hair was just as messy as it had been the day before, jeans once again rolled up, and…..was he wearing TOMS?

“Hey, Castiel. You’re late!”

“I know, I realize that. I _hate_ missing English.” Dean was surprised by the vehemence in that voice, amazed at how strongly Cas meant what he said; that he DID hate to miss English. He was also struck by the fact that he had already re-named Castiel in his mind, giving him the nickname ‘Cas’ mere minutes after learning his true name. How did THAT happen?

“What did I miss?” Castiel continued, voice still a bit breathless from rushing in.

Lucas nodded towards Dean with a jerk of his chin. “We’ve got a new student.”

Cas looked to Dean and his eyes grew wide with recognition. “ _You_ …”

Michael looked between the two of them. “You two’ve met?”

Dean nodded. “Town-wide tag sale yesterday.”

“Yup.” Cas smiled, but it had a bit of a teasing edge to it. “We both reached for the same record album and our hands met.” Dean flushed. Cas was making it sound like the beginning to some romance story, and he was doing it on purpose.

“Well, isn’t _that_ just romantic,” Bela was smiling, but Meg looked downright murderous, glaring at Dean. He glared right back. _What the fuck is HER problem?_

“So, Dean. What do you think? You wanna hang out with us?”

Dean’s attention snapped to Michael. His previous answer of ‘fuck no’ was stuck in his throat, wanting to come out, but his eyes flickered to Cas. Cas, who was watching him curiously. And instead, Dean found himself answering “yea, sure.”

The bell rang and someone said “oh shit!”, sending them all running down the hallway for their next period classes, and leaving Dean wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into.

 

**~tbc~**


	3. City and Desert Coexist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying to take time in between posting chapters, especially since I'm a review whore. But I get too excited and want to post. So this is for those of you who DO review. You make me wanna share more.^^

Dean’s next class didn’t have any of his new…..friends? Were they friends?....in it. Instead, he was greeted with another class of stares and a teacher who reached a _whole_ new level of creepy, and after all Dean’s years of traveling, _that_ was saying something.

Mr. Alastair didn’t ask Dean to stand up front and introduce himself, but in the end this was _far_ worse than if he had. His gaze flickered over Dean, lingering on his mouth, and finally he gave Dean a soft, slippery smile and told him to sit, gesturing to the chair closest to the front. Dean took the one furthest away.

He heard a stifled giggle and turned. Sitting beside him was a girl with shockingly red hair. Her arms were covered in rainbow arm-warmers, and her shirt said ‘Stark Industries’ on the front. Her sneakers were scuffed checkered Vans, and she was giving him a big, friendly smile.

“Creepy, isn’t he,” she whispered, a nod of her head indicating Alastair. Dean didn’t look, didn’t want to look at the man any more than he had to, and to take the class he was assuming he’d be doing a fair bit of looking. He nodded.

“Very damn creepy.” He glanced to make sure Alastair wasn’t watching, then looked back at the redhead. “I’m Dean Winchester.”

“Charlie,” she responded. “Charlie Bradbury.”

“Like the author?”

Her face lit up. “You like Ray Bradbury?”

Dean scoffed. “More than ‘like’. We’re engaged in a torrid love affair.” 

That prompted a burst of giggles from Charlie, stifled too late with both hands over her mouth, and Alastair and half the class stared at them. 

“Anything you two would like to share with the rest of us?”

“No, sir,” Dean drawled. Having a friend like Charlie (strange that he already considered her a friend after only a few words exchanged, but he did; talking to her was just so natural) was making him bold. Even Alastair’s hard gaze didn’t make Dean flinch, and the man finally went back to his lesson.

“So,” Charlie began quietly, as soon as she felt it was safe to speak again, “you and good old Ray, huh?”

“Oh yea. Why?” He grinned. “You jealous?”

Charlie shrugged a shoulder. “A little, yes.”

“Only a little?”

“Well, you see….” Charlie tapped her pencil against the desk in an almost nervous gesture. “I don’t bat for that team.”

“Oh.” Dean was surprised. “OH.”

“Yeah.” 

There was a moment of silence. Charlie was watching him, waiting to see how he’d take the news that she was a lesbian. Dean tilted his head and grinned. “Hot.”

Charlie punched him and he had to bite his lip to hold back laughter of his own. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Well, no,” he had to admit, “I’m not. It IS hot. But that’s not my first reaction,” he assured her. “You know. It’s cool.”

Charlie smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yea. I mean, I’m…” Dean broke off, blushing. Charlie arched a brow. “It’s all good with me. The door swings both ways, if you know what I mean.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dean, I know what you mean.” She smiled. “And cool.”

Dean returned her smile. He never went out of the way to cover up his bisexuality, but he never really made a big deal of putting it out there, either. On the one hand, he was usually never in one place long enough for it to make a difference. He had never yet had a real relationship with anyone of either sex, but the closest he ever came had always been with girls. It just always seemed harder to “come out” (was that still the right terminology when you were bisexual? He didn’t know.) and then track down a like-minded boyfriend. Or maybe he was just looking in the wrong places. His mind drifted once again to Cas and he squashed the thoughts down. He didn’t even know if Cas was interested in boys.

Dean was stirred from his thoughts as Charlie thrust one of her armbands at him. “Here.”

He stared at the fabric, bewildered. “What’s this for?”

She shook her head at him, miming exasperation. “You _wear_ it, dummy.”

“……me? You want _me_ to wear your armband.”

“Yup. They’ll be like…..friendship bracelets. But gay ones. For dorks. Since we’re big gay dorks. Well,” she amended. “HALF gay, in your case.”

Dean stared at her, a smile slowly spreading across his face, and he shook his head. He couldn’t believe that somehow, he had found a friend so quickly, so easily. Yeah, he had the hipster crowd, but as far as he could tell, the only thing he had in common with them was a love of vintage things. And Cas. But Charlie? Charlie was _exactly_ the type of friend he would pick for himself. She didn’t exactly dress vintage, but Dean didn't give a shit about that. She was eclectic, loved Bradbury, and had sass and a sense of humor. 

He accepted the arm-warmer, tugging it onto his left arm. “Good?”

Charlie smiled, her right arm still snugly wrapped in its rainbow armband. “Good.”

The bell rang suddenly, jolting Dean. He couldn’t believe class had gone by so fast, and he hadn’t learned a damn thing. He had spent the entire period talking with Charlie. Still, he wouldn’t change a single moment. He had made a friend….a real, true friend. 

Rising, he scooped up his books. “What period lunch do you have?”

“Second.”

Dean’s face fell. “Dammit. I’ve got third.”

“Well, I’m actually switching out one of my classes. I got scheduled for regular Chem and I’m supposed to be in AP Chem. So who knows? Maybe the alteration will put me in third period lunch.”

Dean smiled. “That’d be cool.”

“Where’re you heading now?”

“History.”

“Me too!”

Dean’s entire face lit up. “With Professor Nunn?””

“Yes!”

“Oh man, awesome!” It would be fantastic to have a second class with Charlie. “Hey, you know how to get to the classroom?”

“Oh yeah. C’mon, Winchester. Follow me.”

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

Dean was definitely not pleased to have lunch without Charlie. He figured at least one of the other students he’d met, the hipster kids, would be here, but he didn’t know for sure, and he didn’t feel like tracking them down. He _hated_ being the new kid at lunch. You either sat by yourself or tried to sit with strangers and hoped they weren’t assholes who told you to fuck off. 

In this case, Dean actually DID know people, but he didn’t know that he liked the idea of being the guy wandering aimlessly around the lunchroom in search of them. He _did_ , however, spot Sam. It was a bit surprising that a freshman would have third period lunch, but who was Dean to judge the way things were done at this school?

Sam was sitting with a couple people, and by the way he was talking enthusiastically with them, it was clear they were friends. Dean smiled. Sam had already made friends. That made the whole day better. One of the kids was skinny and had dark hair and big glasses. Then there was a girl with brown hair tumbling in waves down her back. She was exceptionally pretty. And as Dean watched, a second girl approached the table. This one had golden blonde hair, and she was just as gorgeous as the brunette.

“ _Damn_ , Sammy,” he said under his breath, a smile on his face, “aren’t doing too bad for yourself, are you.”

He decided to pop by and say hello. So long as it was only for a minute, what could it hurt?

“Hey, Sam.” See? He even kept himself in check and said ‘Sam’ instead of ‘Sammy’.

Sam looked up at him, surprised. “Dean!”

Dean smiled at his brother. “Was just going to get my lunch and I saw you…..thought I’d say hi.” He looked at Sam’s three friends. “Hey, guys. I’m Sam’s brother, Dean.” He heard a few ‘hello’s and got a few waves, but he wasn’t there to encroach on Sam’s time, so he just punched Sam’s shoulder. “I’ll see you later, Sam.”

He could hear Sam call out “goodbye” as he turned away, heading off. He wasn’t really going to get lunch; he had made a lunch at home but he’d forgotten it. Oh well. It wasn’t like the school day was that long. Plus he still hadn’t seen anyone he knew besides Sam, so there was no point in sitting around in the cafeteria. May as well head out…..maybe find an art room or the shop room, see if he can fool around a bit….

“Hey, James Dean.”

Dean practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of that voice. He’d only heard it twice but it was already as familiar as Sammy’s, deep and gravelly and with a smirking lilt to it that was impossibly sexy. But it wasn’t just the voice that got him….it was the name. He spun around, coming face to face with Cas, with those gorgeous eyes and smile. Dean stared, heart still pounding. “Why’d you call me that?”

“Your name’s Dean, right?” Dean opened his mouth to reply but Cas wasn’t done yet. “Besides, you LOOK like a James Dean. You’ve got the pouty lips and everything.”

Dean felt his face burning up and he was sure that he was scarlet red. Cas was grinning like the proverbial cat that caught the canary, and yet there was no way he knew that his words had affected Dean on another level, no way he knew how the name ‘James Dean’ truly hit home. Still, Dean couldn’t help but feel that on some level, Cas DID know, that somehow he already knew Dean better than Dean knew himself.

“I don’t….” he began, but Cas interrupted him, which may have been for the best, for he had no idea where he was going with that sentence.

“C’mon, James Dean.” He grabbed Dean’s arm. “This way.” And he began dragging Dean across the cafeteria. Dean saw all of the hipsters sitting at one table. A few of them waved at him as he and Cas approached.

Cas gave Dean a gentle shove towards the table. “I found James Dean.”

“Where was he?” Lucas asked, as Bela simultaneously said “James Dean? Oh, that’s _perfect_.”

“With his brother.”

Dean glared at Cas. What made Cas think Dean wanted these people to know anything about his brother, or about his life in general? Then again, Dean HAD said he wanted to hang out with them, which would imply friendship, which usually meant sharing personal information.

“Brother?” Bela actually sounded interested. Points for her. “Where is he?” 

Dean felt a bit reluctant to point him out, but he did. “That one there. Hair too long. Name’s Sam.”

“He’s cute.” This came from the other brunette, who Dean still hadn’t been formally introduced to, but he thought her name was Ruby. He glared at her. 

“He’s thirteen. Stay away from him.”

That elicited a few laughs and Ruby just smirked. “Yeah, buddy, probably shouldn’t have pointed him out,” Michael said. “Ruby here is notorious for going after jailbait.”

Dean felt his gut clench with protective anger. “I fucking mean it. I will _kill_ you.”

He saw the brows shoot up on several people. Ruby still had that obnoxious smile on her face. “Oooh, kitty’s got claws.”

He was gonna punch her. Fuck, he was gonna punch her. But then he saw the way Cas was glaring at Ruby, as though he wanted to punch her as well, and then he was speaking up, that gravelly voice of his sharp as he said “Ruby, shut up.”

Ruby raised her hands in the air as if in surrender and shut up she did. Everyone was silent as they sat and ate. It was as if Castiel had some strange effect on the group, as if once he got mad, everyone knew things were serious and that they should listen up. Dean would wager it took a lot to get Cas angry.

He felt something on his arm and glanced down. Cas was running a finger gently over the material of the rainbow armband. “You didn’t have this on this morning,” he said softly. Dean was surprised that Cas remembered that, that he had actually noticed what Dean was wearing. “Where’d it come from?”

“Um. I made a friend and she gave it to me.”

“A friend?” Cas seemed legitimately interested. It was nice.

“Yea. Charlie Bradbury.”

The reaction was immediate…..not from Cas, but from everyone else. There were over-exaggerated shudders, “ugh”s, tongues stuck out. Dean looked around at all of them, stunned. “What’s wrong with Charlie?”

“She’s a total nerd.”

“……..” Dean didn’t know what to say. One only had to look at Charlie to see that. “……I know,” he answered at last.

“No, not a _good_ nerd. One of those _freaky_ nerds,” the blonde (Meg?) was saying, going on to list reasons Charlie was a weirdo, but Dean had tuned her out, staring at her but hearing nothing. The fact that these people didn’t like Charlie…….that was like, 100 points in the negative column. That was more than enough to stop him from hanging out with them. But still…..he glanced at Cas. Cas, who was looking at his friends with the same disgust that Dean was feeling, as though he couldn’t believe what they were saying. Then he smoothed it over, looking at Dean apologetically. And Dean knew he couldn’t stop just yet. Not when this was where Cas was. So he simply toyed with the fabric of his armband, speaking over Meg. “ _I_ think she’s cool.”

“Cool?!” Meg sounded horrified. “Charlie Bradbury is NOT cool.”

“Whatever.” Dean shrugged a shoulder. “Agree to disagree.”

He thought he could hear Meg talking again, and without even looking, he could tell Michael and Lucas were staring at him, that Ruby was eyeing him with confusion and distaste. But he couldn’t find it in him to care. Especially when he felt that sapphire blue gaze on him and turned to find Cas watching him with something almost like pride in his eyes. Cas was happy that Dean had stood up for Charlie, even if it meant stomping over Cas’ friends to do it. Cas was _happy_. And that gave Dean hope. He didn’t like to hope, because that was inevitably when his life came crashing down around him, but maybe for once this fresh start would prove fresh after all, and things would work out for the first time in a long time. Maybe Cas wasn’t like the rest of this group. Maybe he was just as lost as Dean felt. And maybe, just maybe, they could find their way together. 

 

 

**~tbc~**


	4. Open for Business Says it All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for starship_destiel, who leaves me tons of notes and is my favorite. <3

The rest of the school day passed without much incident. Dean had several more classes with one or more of the hipster crowd in it, including Cas. During those classes, he didn’t hear a single word the teacher said, far too aware of the gorgeous boy sitting beside him (for Cas seemed to _insist_ on taking the seat next to Dean in every single class). That was going to be a problem. Damn Cas, damn him and his messy hair and big blue eyes and skinny wrists. And seriously, when did WRISTS become attractive? _Damn him_.

In one class, when Dean was introduced, the usual silence was broken with an “hola, amigo” from a boy with a haircut that came straight from the 80s. Dean could tell from the way Meg and Gordon rolled their eyes that this boy was, like Charlie, not in with their crowd, but Dean really didn’t care. He was guessing this was another person he could get along with.

When the bell rang for the end of the day, Dean felt a wave of relief. It was nice to have actually made a real friend and several that might prove to be friends after a fashion, but he couldn’t wait to find Sammy and get home, home where he could kick back and relax and not have to worry about a damned thing. As if on cue, he spotted that shaggy head of hair coming towards him. “Sam!”

Sam was grinning, and Dean was happy to see it. That smile said that Sam had had a good day. That was one good thing, anyway. That meant he could relax. Then he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

“Hey.” He turned to see Michael. “We’re all going to Klekolo’s for coffee. You’re coming, right?”

Dean shook his head. “No. Gotta head home with my brother.”

“Dean, no,” Sam protested. “You can go.”

Dean shook his head again, more vigorously this time. “Sammy, no.” He turned to Michael. “I’m gonna go home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yea?”

Michael was looking between the two of them, but he nodded. “Sure thing.” He turned, waving as he headed off. “Later, Dean.” 

Dean watched Michael move away, heading towards one super-expensive looking car with Bela behind the wheel. He wasn’t surprised. She gave the impression of someone who came from money.

“You could’ve gone with them, Dean.” Sam’s voice was reproachful. Dean turned to him, smile in place.

“Nah. Didn’t want to. Sides,” he slipped an arm around Sam’s shoulders as they walked, “don’t want to miss our traditional first-day-of-school night!”

Sam’s face lit up. “Gonna order pizza?”

“Yup. As greasy and disgusting as you can get. And we’re gonna watch dumb movies and bitch about our days like a pair of chicks.” That elicited a burst of laughter and Dean grinned. “Sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

“Glad to hear it.” Dean unlocked the car, tossing his backpack in. “Then let’s go, Sammy.”

Sam slid into the car without a complaint about the name, and Dean smiled. Yea….this was gonna be a good night.

 

**~*~**

 

The road was free of traffic. Dean supposed that was one good thing about living in a small town. If they had lived here when he was a kid he bet he would’ve hated it. To live in a town like this without being able to drive? No place to go, nothing to do? He would’ve lost his mind. But when he had a car and could escape when he wanted to? He loved it. The quiet was peaceful. He actually found it preferable to all the big cities they had lived in over the past few years. The house they were renting had a dirt path that led into the woods, to a small brook that was perfect for reading. It was wonderful.

Suddenly Dean spotted a Goodwill, and his eyes lit up. But no, he wasn’t going to stop. Goodwill was his thing, not Sammy’s. He could come back later.

“Hey, Dean, where’re you going?”

He glanced at Sam. “What do you mean?”

“There’s a Goodwill right there and you’re driving right past it,” Sam said the words as though it should be completely obvious.

“….I…..you don’t _like_ Goodwill.” But Dean couldn’t keep the longing completely out of his voice. Sam shook his head, smiling.

“Dean….it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Dean tried to keep his face from lighting up. “You sure?” By the way Sam laughed, he was pretty certain he failed.

“I’m sure. Dean, just go.”

Dean didn’t ask twice; he pulled into the parking lot. “Thanks, Sammy,” he said happily as he shut the car door. “This makes the day _so_ much better.”

Sam frowned. “Was it that bad?”

Dean held the store’s door open for Sam, pausing to think. “….not….bad. Just…….different.” He shook his head. “I’ll explain later.”

But once inside, he was completely distracted from the day at school, drawn to the shelves and racks. He really wanted to find something for his room. And of course he had to look at the videos. Maybe find something new (aka old) for he and Sammy to watch that night. Browsing the shelves of old VHS tapes, he came across a copy of _‘the Adventures of Robin Hood_ ’ starring Errol Flynn and ‘ _Casablanca_ ’ starring Humphrey Bogart, as well as ‘ _the Thin Man_ ’ with Myrna Loy. Totally sweet score. His copy of ‘ _Casablanca_ ’ was just about played to death, the tape wearing through from so many viewings. 

Dean moved on to the home section, flipping through the posters. Most of them were frilly things, home scenes and still lifes of fruit. But then he found the old advertisement for absinthe with the green devil. The frame was a bit cracked but nothing too bad. He pulled that out and took it with him. It was cumbersome, but no big deal. He wasn’t planning on hanging around much longer. He just wanted to check one thing…..

And he was in luck. There was an awesome set of faded black curtains, floor length and lacy, clearly antique. God, this is what he loved about Goodwill, or any antique shop. Some days you could strike out completely, but other days it was just a gold mine, an absolute treasure trove.

Dean fumbled with his armful, dropping a VHS. “Aw, shit.” He tried to adjust things so he could bend down to get the film but was interrupted by someone saying “please, allow me.” 

…..he knew that voice. _Aw, fuck_.

Looking up, he came face to face with those piercing blue eyes, Castiel smiling at him as he held out the VHS.

Dean accepted it, still fumbling with his items. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Cas’ eyes travelled over Dean’s armful. “Doing a fair bit of shopping, I see.”

“Yea….stuff for my room.” Dean shifted the picture higher in his arms, trying to get more comfortable. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were getting coffee?”

Castiel shook his head. “No. I mean the others did, but I decided against it.” He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and he was smiling as he looked at Dean, but there was nothing teasing about it as he continued “See, there’s this really cool new kid and he decided not to go. So the trip didn’t seem worth it.” 

Dean immediately turned bright red. He had no idea what to say to that, so he simply muttered something about needing to find Sam and turned away, stumbling blindly towards the front of the store. He was distantly hoping that he hadn’t upset Cas, hadn’t ruined any chance of getting close to him, but he hadn’t known how to handle that, _couldn’t_ handle it.

“Dean?”

Oh, thank God. Sam was already waiting up front. Dean paid for his things with unsteady hands and joined his brother. “C’mon, Sam.”

Dean could feel Cas’ eyes on him as they headed out the door, Sam casting a curious glance back as they went, and the entire drive home, he couldn’t shake the words from his head.

 

 

**~*~**

 

John Winchester wasn’t home. There wasn’t any note, but it wasn’t hard to imagine where he was. It wasn't long now till happy hour. Not that it had to be for John to be at the bar. Dean had known him to hit the bars as early as 11 AM. 

The two boys had come home to a plate of cookies on the steps, wrapped up with a bow and a note saying “Happy first day of school! Hope everything went well. Give me a call if you need anything! Love, Ellen.”

Ellen Harvelle was the reason the Winchesters had moved to Connecticut. She and John had dated briefly in high school (VERY briefly) and had, amazingly, stayed friends ever since. After so many moves around the US, all of them ending badly, John had seemed to decide it might be good to put down roots near a friend. Dean was hoping that it would work out. He hadn’t seen Ellen since he was a kid, but he was sick of moving. And now he had Charlie, and maybe Cas.

_Cas…._

His face burned at the thought.

“So.” Sam’s voice interrupted Dean’s thoughts. “You wanna tell me about that guy at Goodwill?”

Dammit. Why did Dean’s little brother have to be so observant? “What guy?” he asked casually.

“The one with the stupid shoes who was giving you sex eyes.”

Dean choked on his pizza, going into a coughing fit while Sam watched him smugly, the little shit. “ _Sex eyes_?” he managed at last.

“You can’t tell me you missed those.”

Dean HAD missed those, probably because he had been too flustered by Cas’ words, but he didn’t want to admit it. “You’re too young to be using words like that,” he admonished. Sam rolled his eyes.

“I’m thirteen, jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean wiped his hands off on a paper towel. “So…..sex eyes, huh.” He was aiming for nonchalance, but he didn’t think it quite came across, if the grin on Sam’s face was anything to go by.

“Oh yeah. He was like…..I don’t even know. But he definitely wants to jump aboard the Dean train.”

Dean was momentarily speechless. “The _Dean Train_?” he echoed. “ _Jesus_ , Sam, where do you _hear_ this shit?”

Sam actually looked embarrassed, looking away and muttering “gym locker room.”

Dean snorted. “Well, at least you’re getting an education.”

“Shut up.” Sam threw his crumpled up napkin at Dean. “He still totally wants you.”

“Yea, yea, okay.” Dean sat back to watch the half-finished movie and realized after a minute that Sam was still watching him. “….what?”

“You never answered me! Who is he?”

“ _God_ , Sam! You’re such a persistent pain in the ass!” He heaved a sigh. “His name is Castiel and he’s a hipster dork.”

“Seems to fluster you quite a bit for a dork.”

If there was one thing Dean super loved his brother for, it was that he didn’t care that Dean was bi. It wasn’t even as if they discussed it. Sam had come into the kitchen one day while Dean was kissing a boy goodbye (more like had the boy shoved up against the door and his tongue down his throat), and Sam still hadn’t had the freakout most kids would have if they found their big brother kissing…well…..anyone. No, he had taken it in stride. Later that afternoon, he asked Dean “are you bisexual?” Dean had answered “yes”, bracing himself for what he thought was the inevitable shitstorm, but Sam had simply nodded his head acceptingly and returned to his room to finish his homework, and ever since then, things had continued on completely normally. Seriously, Dean had the best brother ever. 

“Okay, so he’s a super-hot, nerdy, quirky dork who I met at a tag sale who wanted the same Beatles album as me but let me have it.”

Sam’s brows shot up. “Beatles album?” he inquired, the full question unasked. Dean nodded.

“Yea. _Revolution_.”

“And he let you have it. Without asking why.”

Dean nodded again. “Yea.”

“Wow.” Sam looked pensive. “Yeah.”

Dean’s brow furrowed. “What? What’s ‘yeah’?”

Sam grinned. “You should let him eye-sex you all he wants.”

Dean burst into laughter. “You are SUCH an ass.” He shoved Sam, nearly sending him falling into the remaining pizza, and Sam shoved him back. He glanced up at the clock. “Should probably get to bed. Got school tomorrow.” Sam groaned. “I know, I know. I don’t like it, either.” He gently punched Sam’s shoulder. “You head off. I’ll wrap up what’s left. Can take it for lunch tomorrow.”

Sam obligingly toddled off to bed, leaving Dean to clean up, turning off Errol Flynn and putting the pizza into Tupperware before returning to his room to get changed for bed, stripping down to his boxer briefs. It didn’t take long to go through his nighttime routine, which was good; he was exhausted. He turned his lights off and flopped into bed, eyes on his purchases from earlier that day. He’d have to hang the curtains and painting as soon as possible. The room could use some character.

As if he needed another reminder of the events of earlier that day, the curtains and painting were enough to bring the thoughts back. Castiel smiling at him, eyes sparkling as he spoke, saying he changed his plans because Dean wouldn’t be there, that a trip to the coffee shop wasn’t worth it because he wouldn’t be seeing Dean.

And then Dean had run off. How would he face Castiel tomorrow? With a groan, Dean rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. But one way or another, face him he must. 

Dean flipped onto his back again, staring up at the ceiling. This time, he wasn’t going to puss out. There would be no running or hiding. Tomorrow, no matter how nervous he was, how weak those blue eyes or that smile made him feel, he would face Castiel.

…..at least, he’d try.

 

 

**~tbc~**


	5. Don't believe in a life without consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my rediscovered love of Neon Trees is going to have a lot to do with the naming of future chapters.  
> And chapter 6 is finished, so hopefully it'll be posted soon. Drop me some love and it'll be up sooner. :P
> 
>  
> 
> _I don't believe in a life without consequences._  
>  _I think I wanna run away from you, you're killing me._

Dean wasn’t looking forward to the second day of school AT ALL. Generally as far as things went, the second day was better than the first, but Dean was nervous about seeing Cas after the run in at Goodwill. He still couldn’t BELIEVE he ran away like that. He shook his head. _Loser_.

But Cas slipped into the seat next to him in first period as if nothing strange had happened, smile on his face as he nodded hello. Dean could feel himself blushing. _Goddammit_. He’d never been a blusher before in his life. Cas just brought something out in him.

“Mr. Winchester.” Dean tore his gaze off of Cas and looked up at Mrs. Harrison, who apparently wasn’t finished yet. “I see we have our books today.”

“Ah…yea.”

“Resolved the battle with the locker?”

There were titters from around the classroom but Dean didn’t care. The teacher actually seemed to be amused by the entire situation. He grinned. “For the time being.”

Mrs. Harrison simply shook her head at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, and turned to the board to pick up where she had left off the day before. Dean felt Cas’ eyes on him and turned to find the brunette regarding him with one inquisitive brow arched. “Locker battle?” Cas mouthed.

Dean flushed. “It’s nothing.” If there was one person he didn’t want to know that he had gotten stuck in his locker, it was Cas. Dean may embrace his dorky self, but that part was _definitely_ not the impression he wanted to convey.

Class went by fast, and amazingly Dean was able to focus even with Cas sitting so close. They were going to be reading some damn good books that year, and some others that he hadn’t yet read but were on his to-do list. He scribbled notes eagerly and was actually caught by surprise when the bell rang, and overcome by a wave of disappointment. English was one of his favorite classes. Unlike math, but at least he’d have Charlie there.

Cas paused at his desk. “Where you heading?”

“Math.” Dean tried to shove his books in his bag, but not all would fit. He gave up, frustrated.

“Walk you there?”  
Dean glanced up, raising a brow. “Yea? You gonna carry my books, too? Give me your lettermen jacket?” The words were out before he could stop himself; Cas’ offer had all just sounded so 1950s sweetheart. But he didn’t take it back, simply quirking a grin at Cas, who stared at him with surprise and then burst into laughter.

“I would if I had one. But last time I checked, they don’t give out letters in ‘nerd’,” Cas responded. Dean laughed as they headed for the door; Cas grinned. “But I _can_ carry your books.” And he snatched them out of Dean’s hands before Dean could say a word.

“Hey, no,” Dean protested.

“Nope, too late. I’m gonna be all gentlemanly and stuff.” Dean shook his head but gave up, letting Cas have the books as they headed towards the math wing. “Who do you have?”

“Alistair.”

Cas shuddered. “Ugh. He’s the worst.”

“Tell me about it. He like…..” Dean didn’t want to say it. Cas eyed him curiously, head tilting in a way that was ridiculously attractive.

“What?”

“I…..well, it was almost like he was….” Dean was blushing; he felt so stupid. “….checking me out,” he mumbled. Strangely enough, Cas didn’t look surprised at all, but nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s never gotten accused of anything, but there’ve been a lot of kids who have commented on him looking at them in weird ways, and you’re just his type.”

Dean just stared. “……I’m really not sure how to take that.” Cas laughed.

“Just concentrate on the part where you’re hot and ignore the rest of it. That’s what I’d do, anyway.” He stopped outside the classroom. “Well, here we are.”

Dean’s head was still reeling from Cas just calling him hot. He dumbly took the books Cas was offering. “Thanks,” he said, somewhat woodenly. The smile Cas gave him was ridiculously charming.

“Of course. I’d offer my services after this period,” and _God_ , why did Cas have to use _that terminology_ , “but I know we’re going totally separate ways. So I’ll see you at lunch?” Dean nodded. “Okay.” And then Cas smiled, a beautiful and somewhat flirtatious thing, waiting until Dean was inside the classroom to call loudly after him “have fun in class, darling!”

…..yea, people were definitely gonna be talking.

 

 

**~*~**

 

It was awesome to see Charlie again. She held out her hand when Dean came over, the two of them fist-bumping with the arms that wore matching rainbow armbands (screw the hipster kids, Charlie was awesome and he was gonna show his love loud and proud), but it didn’t take long for her to start asking about Cas. It took a lot of whispering during the lesson to explain the complicated situation. She seemed to side with Sam that Cas wanted him, though she hadn’t witnessed the “sex eyes” (however, she DID burst into laughter at the term and nearly get them both thrown out of class).

“Seriously, Dean,” she hissed, somehow simultaneously copying down notes, “I know the way he yelled in here was kinda embarrassing…”

“ _Kinda_?” Dean echoed.

“Okay, very,” she amended, “but wanting to walk you to class and carrying your books, and all the shit you told me you guys said? That is flirting, plain and simple.”

Dean didn’t say anything, simply scribbling down notes of his own. He wasn’t sure how to take all of Cas’ behavior. It seemed too much to hope for that Cas was not only gay, or bi, but that he would return Dean’s interest in him. Dean had learned quickly in life that good things rarely happened. And when the Winchester’s stayed in one place so infrequently? Well, the closest Dean had ever come to a real relationship had been with a girl named Lisa, and in the end he had been dragged away right as things were getting really serious. It had been a long time ago and he had grown out of his feelings for her, but it still hurt to think about. What made him think this town would be any different, that things with _Cas_ would be any different?

He felt a sudden jolt of pain to his shoulder. “Ow!” Charlie had punched him. “What the hell?”

“You’re overthinking things. I can see the wheels turning.”

“I am not!” he protested. “I just….well, you know the situation.” The two of them had study hall together as well, and yesterday Dean had managed to tell Charlie the basic gist of his situation: the loss of his mom, the life on the road, taking care of Sammy. It was weird how completely at ease he felt sharing all of this with her after only knowing her a day.

“Yeah, I do. And I know that it doesn’t mean you can’t let yourself enjoy anything in the meantime. I know you risk getting hurt, but that doesn’t mean you should shut yourself off from the possibility that something good can happen.”

Dean just looked at her, letting the words wash over him, taking them in. Finally, he smiled. “You’re very wise, Yoda.”

She laughed. “Listen you should, young padawan.”

He covered his mouth to hold back a burst of laughter. God, he didn’t know what he would do without Charlie. She was the best friend he’d made in years. “Okay,” he said, once he’d managed to get his laughter under control. “I will. I’ll give things a chance.”

Charlie nodded, a smile on her face. “Good.” The bell rang, everyone beginning to gather their things. She made a face. “Oh man. I still didn’t get my chem class sorted out. So still no lunch.”

“Aw, fuck.” Dean grabbed his books. “Well, maybe tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” Charlie shouldered her bag. “History?”

Dean smiled, affirming “History.”

 

**~*~**

 

Today Dean’s music class was switched out with shop. He was practically overjoyed. He had always LOVED shop class. Getting his hands dirty, building things….that was something Dean enjoyed. 

The teacher was a gruff bearded man named Mr. Singer who called them “idgits” in the first sentence of the class introduction. Dean had to stifle a laugh; he was gonna like this guy.

Dean was sharing a table with another student. His name was Benny and he was new here, just like Dean. He was wearing suspenders (suspenders, for God's sake!) and had a low Southern drawl. He was also wearing a cap which Mr. Singer kept yelling at him to remove (despite the fact that he himself was wearing a greasy old trucker hat), but Benny would always put it back on the moment Mr. Singer's back was turned. Dean had to bite back a laugh each time, and Benny would look at him, blue eyes crinkling with laughter of his own. It wasn’t long before they were talking like old friends, sharing stories of everything from their past schools to family members to former shop adventures. Dean was thrilled. The way they had fallen into this easy camaraderie suggested Benny would be a friend like Charlie: someone Dean could continue to speak to easily, no holding back. 

When class ended, they left together. Dean had Benny’s hat on at that point, more to piss off Mr. Singer than anything else. He had been furious with Benny for continuing to put it back on, but when the hat made a reappearance and he went to yell again, he saw that this time it was Dean wearing it. Mr. Singer began sputtering, not knowing what to say. Dean and Benny left the room in near hysterics. As they rounded the corner, they almost crashed into Castiel.

“Oh,” Dean managed through his laughter, “hey, Cas.”

Castiel’s brows shot up at the nickname but Dean barely noticed. “Hello, Dean.” His gaze flickered to the cap on Dean’s head, then to Benny. He didn’t look very pleased. “Hello…..?” He trailed off, waiting for Benny to fill in the blank.

“Benny.” He offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, brother.”

Cas shook the hand he was offered, glancing again at Dean and the hat. “I just thought I’d see if you wanted to walk to lunch together?” Both of them missed the way Benny reacted to that, brows raising and a smile gracing his lips. 

“Sure,” Dean answered. “Benny, do you want to….” But Benny was already shaking his head.

“Naw, brother. Got places to go. I’ll see you later.” He plucked his cap from Dean’s head and, with a careless wave, headed down the hall.

Dean watched him go, grin still on his face, but it faded when he turned to Cas and saw the look in those blue eyes. It wasn’t angry, but there was something there. “Cas? Hey, Cas, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Cas answered, but there was a silence. "You seem to be making friends fast."

Dean glanced at Cas. The brunette still had that look on his face, as though he were trying to suppress some emotion. Dean shrugged.

"Guess so. Why....” he grinned, “you jealous?"

"Yes."

The answer was so immediate and open that Dean nearly choked. Cas didn't try to hide, simply looked at Dean, earnest and honest and 100% open. Dean had no idea how to react, he simply fishmouthed for several minutes, mouth opening and shutting as he searched for a response. “…..I….”

Dean’s reaction seemed to amuse Cas, for he smiled, albeit somewhat apologetically. “I’m sorry. That’s not something I should’ve sprung on you.”

“…..you….” Dean was trying to wrap his head around this. “….you don’t WANT me to make friends?”

“No!” Cas sounded vaguely horrified. “No, that’s not…..I mean…..shit.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “That IS how it sounded, isn’t it.” Dean nodded. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re making friends. I’m just…..jealous. I guess on some level, I want to monopolize all of your time.” He smiled ruefully. “Real mature, huh.”

Dean still couldn’t make sense of this. Cas wanted all of his time? “……okay,” he said at last.

“I’m really sorry,” Cas said again, clearly extremely worried that Dean was mad at him.

“No, it’s okay. I just…..I’m having a hard time believing that you want all of MY time.”

Cas stared at him. “You…..” He shook his head. “I don’t know if you’re dumb or just need a confidence boost.”

Dean bristled at the ‘dumb’ comment. “Hey.”

Cas just shook his head again. “Forget it. You’re not mad at me?”

“No. No way.”

“Okay. Good. Then let’s go to lunch.” Cas smiled, reaching out and snatching Dean’s books. “And I’m carrying your books again.”

Dean couldn’t help laughing, shaking his head. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Oh yeah.” And Cas lead the way towards the cafeteria, leaving Dean extremely puzzled and trying to muddle his way through all Cas’ words and meanings. Cas wanted all of his time? Why would he want that? Did he really truly mean it? Did he want Dean like Sam and Charlie thought, or was this all, as usual, too good to be true?

But then they reached the cafeteria and the rest of the hipster group, and all the thoughts had to be put away for later.

Later. He would figure it out later. When he wasn’t face to face with those gorgeous blue eyes.

Dean realized he was staring and had been for several moments. Flushing bright red, he looked away, turning his attention to his lunch and away from those eyes and that smile.

Later.

 

**~tbc~**


	6. They've been wearing me thin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hand is on the mend and I've begun the next chapter, so I'll post this one now. Thank you all for the well wishes!^^
> 
>  _You're not like anything else_  
>  And that's why I got to you  
> That's why I come to you  
> ~ _The Morning Becomes Electric_ , Neon Trees

“Are you KIDDING me?!” 

Sitting on the bed, Dean winced at the tone and pitch of Charlie’s voice. “ _Geez_ , Bradbury, take it down a notch, will you?”

“I will _not!_ ” Charlie paced Dean’s bedroom. The black curtains and Absinthe poster were both up now and looked fantastic. “The guy actually tells you that he wants you to himself and you STILL won’t accept the fact that he’s into you?”

“Wait, WHO said he wants Dean to himself?”

Dean and Charlie both spun to find Sam in the doorway, a poptart in one hand. 

“Sammy, not now.” The last thing Dean needed was both Charlie AND his brother ganging up on him. But Sam wasn’t going to be deterred.

“Is this sex-eyes guy?”

“YES!” Charlie exploded, too riled up to be amused by the term. “He told Dean that he was jealous of Dean’s new friend and that he wants Dean all to himself and Dean _still_ thinks it might all be some…..cosmic joke or something, _I_ don’t know.”

Sam was looking at Dean as if he’d grown a second head. “Dean, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“ _Language!_ ”

“Oh, shut up,” Sam growled. “I’m thirteen.”

“I don’t care,” Dean glared. “No f-bombs.” Sam heaved a sigh, which Dean ignored.

“Dean, I’m serious,” Charlie continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “I don’t know how much more blatant he can be unless he comes up to you with a bouquet of flowers, drops to one knee and asks you on a date.”

Dean let out a frustrated, anguished groan, burying his face in his hands. “Why did I ever think you were my best friend,” came the muffled words from between his hands. Charlie grinned.

“Because I’m awesome. And I’m helping you get laid.”

“UGH.” Sam wrinkled his nose. “Okay, I may be all for Dean dating and stuff, and he can do…..whatever he wants….with the people he dates. But can we PLEASE not discuss it? I do NOT need to think about him doing people.”

Dean looked up at Sam. “Who says I’m the one doing the doing?” he asked, grinning. “Maybe I like being the one getting done.” And he waggled his eyebrows. Sam let out a horrified cry and ran from the room; Charlie burst into laughter. Dean grinned at her. “I think I broke Sam.”

“Sounded it.” Charlie sat down on the bed beside Dean. “He’s probably in the bathroom right now, trying to figure out a way to bleach the image from his brain.” Dean laughed. “But seriously, Dean. There really isn’t another way to take Castiel’s words. So just…..loosen up and give him a chance, okay?”

Dean sighed. “Okay.” Charlie brightened visibly.

“Okay?”

“Okay! I said okay!”

“Okay! Okay! I’m just asking!”

“Yea, asking a million times!” Dean gave her a shove. “Pain in the ass.”

Charlie pointed at him. “You’ll thank me when you’re getting all that sex.”

Dean laughed. “Okay. If I DO get lots of sex, I will thank you.”

“That better be a promise.”

Dean held out his hand. “Promise.”

Smiling, Charlie shook his hand, sealing the deal. “Promise.”

 

**~*~**

 

So far the day wasn’t going so well. In English class they’d had to discuss their favorite authors, and when Dean had said Shakespeare and Jane Austen, there had been a ton of laughter and a lot of the expected gay jokes. Because you know, it’s totally gay for a man to like romantic literature written by a woman. He was so sick of society’s bullshit clichés.

“Hey, James Dean!” 

Dean felt his shoulders tense. He didn’t like it when anyone but Cas used that nickname. But at least it was Bela. She wasn’t too bad. He had discovered that Bela was okay, Michael seemed decent enough, Lucas was exceptionally sketchy, Ruby was a total jerk (and a creep…..he was going to have to watch her to keep her away from Sam), and Meg was an unspeakable bitch. Gordon he still didn’t have a read on. The guy was nearly silent, but the look in his eyes creeped Dean out. If it wasn’t for Cas, he would have stopped hanging out with them by now.

“What’s up, Bela?”

“You’re coming to get coffee with us today, right?”

“Oh.” He honestly hadn’t thought about it. He’d managed so far to escape the trips to Klekolo but he supposed sooner or later he should go. And Sam had the school paper today (little nerd had already signed up for five different clubs), so it should be fine. “…..okay. Sure.”

“Good. Right after school, then.”

“I’m gonna take my own car. Have to pick up my brother still.”

“Okay.”

And that’s how 3 PM found him standing outside a shabby little coffee shop, wishing he were anywhere else. 

Bells jangled when he pushed open the door and found pretty much exactly what he had expected. The place was that generic sort of “fight the system, buy from small corporations” coffee shop, small couches and cushy chairs with throw pillows scattered around the room. There was a counter up front with a glass case displaying pastries. He moved to get in line, eyes scanning the menu.

“Hey, James Dean.” But this time the voice was low and gravelly and put a smile on Dean’s face. He glanced over his shoulder to see Cas smiling back at him.

“Hey, Cas.” Looking down, he saw Cas already had a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. “Why’re you in line? You have your coffee already.”

“Yup. Just thought I’d come say hi.” The words made something flutter in Dean’s stomach.

“Well…..hi.”

“Hi.” The smile was clear in Cas’ voice and it _did things_ to Dean. He resolutely faced front to avoid looking at Cas, not knowing what he would do if he saw that smile, those eyes.

“Hello, welcome to Klekolo,” the girl behind the counter was impossibly perky for someone who had probably been here since 6 AM. Dean would wager she’d been into the coffee beans. “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll take a cranberry scone and a large English Breakfast tea, please. Milk on the side.”

“Right away.” She moved off to get his order while another worker rang him out.

"Tea? Really?" The amusement was plain in Cas' voice. "You're _really_ trying to up those hipster points, huh."

Dean accepted his tea and scone, rolling his eyes. "I prefer 'old lady points'."

Cas laughed. “Old lady points, huh.”

“Yup.” Dean tossed Cas a sassy little smile. "I knit, too."

"No you do not." Cas’ voice was full of an excited combination of disbelief and hope. He clearly didn’t think Dean truly _did_ knit, but wanted to be wrong.

Dean couldn’t help it; he blushed. "...maybe a little." His grandma had taught him when he was young, right after his mom died and they had moved in with her parents for a while. But it'd been _years_....he doubted he'd remember anything. Still, none of that mattered when he heard Cas' delighted laughter.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

Dean grinned, cheeks still flushed pink. "Why....cuz I'm level grinding my old lady points?" Cas laughed again, loud and long. The sound was beautiful, like bells, and Dean wished he could bottle it and keep it forever.

“Hey!” Dean turned at the sound of the irritating voice he had so quickly come to associate with Meg. She looked annoyed, as she always did when she saw him and Cas together. “Are you two joining us or not?”

Cas looked from Meg to Dean, then back. “Not.” And he took Dean by the elbow and guided him to a different section of the shop.

“Hey, where’re we going?” Dean asked, but he let himself be guided. Cas paused, looking at him.

“Did you want to join them? Cuz we can do that, if you want. I’d just like to talk to you some more, if you don’t mind.” 

Cas actually sounded uncertain. Nervous. It was strange, and different, and actually served to settle some of Dean’s nerves. If _Cas_ was nervous, that meant that he really did care about spending time with Dean and worried that Dean didn’t want the same. 

Dean nodded. “Yea. I’d like that.”

The smile that lit up Castiel’s face was beautiful. “Oh, good.” And this time Dean took the initiative, leading them the rest of the way into a darker corner of the next room and sitting down on a huge, fluffy sofa. Cas sank into a chair opposite him.

“So,” Dean began casually as he stirred the milk into his tea, “what’d you want to talk about?”

“Just….you.” Cas still sounded awkward, as though he didn’t know where to begin and…..was he blushing? “I just want to know more about you.”

Dean smiled, though he was blushing as well. He hoped it wasn’t too visible in the dim lighting. “Likewise.”

Cas took a sip of coffee. “So.” He seemed eager, if nervous. “Where’re you from?”

Dean couldn’t completely keep the bitterness out of his voice. “Which time? This past one?” Cas frowned, confused, and Dean immediately felt bad for his tone of voice. “Sorry,” he muttered. “We move around a lot. At least once a year, if not more, ever since I was a kid. I was born in Kansas, but my mom died when I was really little. Four.”

Dean was worried at first that Cas was going to be like everyone else, was going to apologize, but he didn’t. Instead, Dean felt the soft touch of Cas’ hand on his knee and, surprised, he looked up to see sadness in those blue eyes. Cas was clearly sorry but knew that saying ‘sorry’ wasn’t enough. Instead he gave Dean’s knee a squeeze, silently letting Dean know that he was there for him. Dean felt his eyes fill with tears; he quickly scrubbed them away with the back of his hand. “She died giving birth to my brother,” he said, voice thick with tears. “Weird complication. Since then it’s been my job to take care of him. For my dad, Sammy’s the last real piece of her. My whole life it’s been ‘watch Sammy, take care of Sammy.’ It’s really not fair to him. I don’t know that dad even sees him for who he is, just as a piece of my mom.”

“Not fair to you, either,” Cas said softly, “being given that sort of responsibility at such a young age.” Dean swallowed hard. He didn’t know how to respond to that, and it was twisting his gut with feelings he didn’t know how to handle, so with a shaky breath he pressed on.

“He’s never around. My dad, I mean. Cept when he’s moving us to another town, or state. Otherwise he’s always at the bar. I mean, can’t really blame him.” Dean clenched his hands into fists. “Except I do. He should be there for Sammy. He’s still so young and he never had a mom, and has never really had a dad, either. It’s not fair.”

He couldn’t see; his eyes were brimming with tears that he was refusing to let fall. He had never really spoken about this to anyone. True, he had told Charlie the situation, but he had really only given her the details; he hadn’t gotten emotional about it. Yet for some reason, here he was, spilling his innermost feelings to Castiel. He felt all of that emotion, pent up for years and years (since he was four, for God’s sake), threatening to spill forward, and was overcome with the urge to jump to his feet, to run from the coffee shop and never look back. But then he felt the weight on the couch shift as Castiel sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. It was something Dean hadn’t had in a long time: someone comforting _him_. He never had anyone around to offer, and he never asked. And now here was Cas, pulling him close, and he buried his face against Cas’ chest as he completely fell apart.

“Your dad should be there for you, too,” Cas murmured, stroking Dean’s back. “You do so much. Taking care of your brother like that? I can’t imagine anyone else doing what you do. You’re amazing, Dean. You’re _amazing_.”

Dean couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. Castiel was the one who was amazing, not him. Comforting someone he barely knew? That made him realize he was making a scene in the coffee shop and he pulled away, rubbing a hand over his face in an attempt to stop his crying.

Cas seemed to realize what Dean was thinking and caught his face, cupping it in his hands. “Dean, look at me.” Against his will, Dean’s green eyes met Castiel’s blue ones. Cas’ thumbs wiped away the tears as they fell. “Do _not_ beat yourself up over this. You need to let someone take care of _you_ once in a while.” Dean wanted to melt. It seemed impossible that anyone could be this good. Cas wiped away another tear. “Okay?”

Dean nodded. That seemed answer enough for Cas. “Okay.” Castiel looked around. “You wanna get out of here?” Another nod. “Alright.” He reached for Dean’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go.”

 

**~*~**

 

The afternoon had gotten somewhat chilly for September, and it felt as if it might rain. Dean couldn’t help but notice that Cas hadn’t yet let go of his hand. He couldn’t say that he minded. It felt nice. _More_ than nice.

“You want a ride back to school?” Dean found himself offering. Cas’ entire face melted into a gorgeous smile at the offer.

“If I’d known you were going to offer, I wouldn’t have driven. But no….I have my car here. I’ll take a raincheck?”

The thought made Dean happier than it probably should have. He smiled. “Yea.”

“Okay.” Cas paused as if he were debating saying something. Finally, he seemed to make up his mind. "Can I have your number?"

Dean stared at Cas, 100% taken aback, and Cas could see the wheels in his head turning as he desperately looked at this from every angle, trying to determine just what it was Castiel meant by the question. Cas decided to help out. "In case you're wondering, yes, I AM asking you out."

...maybe it hadn't been so helpful, if the expression on Dean's face was anything to go by. He continued to stare at Castiel, and it was starting to get unnerving. Cas fidgeted, Dean's unwavering stare and prolonged silence starting to make him nervous. "Will you go out with me?"

Dean was still silent. He looked at a loss and somewhat wary. "You.....you want me to go out with you?" It seemed too good to be true, and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Why? You barely even _know_ me.”

“I know you like Shakespeare, and Jane Austen,” Cas said. Dean blushed at the reminder of the teasing he had gotten at THAT admission. “I know you have a younger brother who you clearly love to death and would do anything for. I know you like the Beatles, and Queen, and some obscure French composer whose name I only know because he was depicted, probably with GREAT inaccuracy, in _‘Moulin Rouge’_.” That got a smile out of Dean, and Cas’ own smile grew to see it. “But most of all,” he continued softly, “I know that you stand up for yourself and your friends. It doesn’t matter if someone else disagrees with you, even if they’re showing that disagreement in the loudest, rudest way possible. You don’t give in. That’s _amazing_.”

Dean was blushing, he knew he was, brilliant red as he stared at Cas. He remembered the expression on Castiel’s face that first day when he had stood up for Charlie, despite Meg’s insults and the reactions of Ruby and the others. He had looked so pleased to see Dean defend his friend, even at the expense of Cas’ own friends, and Dean remembered how happy it had made him to see that Cas wasn’t like the others, that maybe Cas was someone he could truly be close with. Apparently all this time, Cas had been thinking the same thing.

“So.” Cas gave him a small smile. “Can I call you?”

Dean nodded dumbly, reaching into his bag for a pen, fingers fumbling as he searched. 

“Here,” and Cas was holding out his wrist, offering it as paper. “Write it on here.”

Oh God, those wrists. Those gorgeous, skinny wrists. Dean’s fingers were almost trembling as he took one in hand, scrawling his number across Cas’ flesh. Cas smiled as he looked at the number, eyes looking up to meet Dean’s. “Thanks.” He adjusted his backpack, shifting it higher on his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” And with that he was gone, heading off to find his car.

Dean watched him go, feeling as if he’d been swept over by a hurricane, and he realized suddenly that he’d never answered Castiel’s question. _Will you go out with me?_  


Oh God. Were they dating?

He really didn’t know.

 

**~tbc~**


	7. Lessons in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in the artwork Cas isn't wearing a blue sweater like it says in the chapter but whatever. When I chose what the boys were wearing I wasn't yet sure where I'd be putting this drawing and I like it here, so here it shall stay, clothing discrepancy or not.
> 
> When you walk my way, I feel the rush come over me  
> A sharp panic, panic  
> It's the things that you say that makes the rush come over me  
> It happens all the time.
> 
> If I walk away, I feel a push inside of me that won't let me leave  
> But what could I say for you to feel whats inside of me?  
> This happens all the time  
> I never was too good at following rules  
> I'm better just pretending I was the fool
> 
> ~ _Lessons in Love_ , Neon Trees

Dean felt incredibly awkward the next day. He spent so long at his locker that he was actually late to class. He was so nervous about seeing Cas. Yesterday had been amazing, but so strange as well. He had opened up to Cas in a way he hadn’t ever opened up to anyone, not even Sam, and then Cas had asked him out. Cas had _asked him out_ , and Dean had never given him a real answer. Were they dating? Dean had no idea, and that left him with not a clue how to act when he saw Cas.

It was several minutes after the bell had rung when Dean pushed open the door to Mrs. Harrison’s class, cautiously poking his face in. The entire class turned as one to look at him.

“Ah, Mr. Winchester.” Mrs. Harrison had paused in writing on the board. “Good of you to join us.”

There were a few titters; Dean cracked an abashed smile. He liked Mrs. Harrison, and despite the way she spoke, he knew she liked him. He thought it was probably because he truly loved the subject, and literature in general. He made his way into the room. “Sorry.” 

“That’s alright, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean dropped his backpack to the floor beside his desk, where it landed with a heavy thud, and put the rest of the books on his desk. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of brilliant blue. It was Cas, wearing a ridiculously huge sweater rather like the one he’d had on at the tag sale, slipping off his shoulder to expose one skinny collarbone. Dean swallowed with some difficulty. The shade of the sweater also brought out the blue of Cas’ eyes. The entire effect was ridiculously becoming. He realized then that Cas was watching him with a fond smile on his face and he flushed bright red, turning abruptly away.

“Mr. Winchester.”

Dean’s gaze snapped up to Mrs. Harrison. “Yes?”

“Due to your delay in joining the class, you can be our first volunteer.”

He felt a wave of confusion. “Volunteer?”

“The poetry, Mr. Winchester. You were supposed to bring in a favorite poem.”

Oh. In the morning’s tizzy of emotions, Dean had totally forgotten. “Right.” He walked to the front of the room, pulling a piece of paper out of his back pocket. It was crumpled, having been folded and refolded so many times over. He wasn’t certain whether or not he should be regretting choosing such a long piece, but it was one of his favorites. Taking a deep breath, he began.

“It little profits that an idle king, by this still hearth, among these barren crags, match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole unequal laws unto a savage race, that hoard, and sleep, and feed, and _know not me_.”

He glanced up and saw that Cas had raised his eyebrows at that first line, that a smile was spreading across his face. He obviously knew and liked the poem. That made Dean smile, and he could feel the tips of his ears burning. Dammit, he never blushed all the way to his ears unless he was really happy or really embarassed, and he hated it. He looked like a damn idiot. So NATURALLY it would happen when he was up in front of the entire room. He studiously avoided looking at Cas for the rest of the poem, focusing on his paper even though he knew the poem by heart.

“We are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven. That which we are, we are: one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

There was a moment’s silence and Dean wondered if he should be embarrassed, or to flip everyone off and say “fuck all of you, Tennyson is AWESOME”, but then there was scattered applause. Not _everyone_ cared, obviously, but a good half of the class seemed to have enjoyed the piece, even despite its length. Smiling, he returned to his seat. He felt a nudge from Cas, who whispered. “awesome job.” Dean smiled at him, almost shyly. “Thanks.”

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester. ‘ _Ulysses_ ’ has always been a personal favorite.” That only made Dean’s smile grow. Mrs. Harrison was by far his favorite teacher. To get her approval felt good. She looked around the room. “Who’s next. Hmmm…..Mr. Novak.”

Cas rose, paper in hand, and moved to the front of the room. He cleared his throat dramatically, much to the amusement of his friends; he looked over as they laughed, and his twinkling blue eyes landed on Dean, who just shook his head and silently mouthed ‘ass’.

“We’re waiting, Mr. Novak.”

“My apologies, Mrs. Harrison.” Cas cleared his throat again, much more subdued this time, and began to read. “Come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove. That valleys, groves, hills, and fields, woods or steepy mountain yields.”

Dean stared, dumfounded. Cas was reading Christopher Marlowe, ‘ _A Passionate Shepard to His Love_ ’, and he was reading it to Dean. This was completely obvious in the way those blue eyes would flick up every now and then, locking gazes with Dean just long enough to make his intention clear before returning to his paper. He did it fast enough that no one else would catch on, that it was a brief glance, but to someone who knew there was something between them (whatever exactly it was), like Dean, there was no missing the meaning there. 

“If these delights thy mind may move, then live with me, and be my love,” Cas finished, voice soft.

The applause this time was a little more diminished. People seemed somewhat confused as to why Castiel was reading 16th century poetry about shepherds in love. But the little smirk Cas threw Dean’s way as he sat down sent shivers through Dean’s whole body. It was somehow affectionate and sexual and soft and suggestive all at the same time. He looked away quickly, but he could feel the tips of his ears burning again. _Goddammit_.

Dean only heard a few more of the poems recited; if someone read a good one, his attention was caught and he’d listen, but most students seemed to have just googled ‘poetry’ and grabbed the first one they’d come across. So he mostly tuned out the rest of first period. When the bell rang, he was sort of relieved to go. Nothing with Cas was resolved, but he hadn’t really expected it to be. 

Speaking of Cas, the brunette was standing before him, smiling. “Carry your books?”

That smile made Dean melt. He shook his head, smiling in return. “Hey, why am _I_ always the girl in this relationship?” He immediately realized what he said and clapped his hands over his mouth, turning bright red. _Relationship_.

Cas either didn’t hear him or, God bless him, could see that Dean was uncomfortable and decided to brush over the comment. “What, you tired of being Sandra Dee?” He scooped up Dean’s books and they headed out. Cas was grinning; Dean couldn’t help but mirror the expression, his blush fading as they walked.

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/Mobile%20Uploads/commission%20books3_zpsdqeqxzdk.png.html)

“Hell yea! Besides, I’m more Danny Zuko, anyway.”

“Oh?” Cas arched a brow. “How d’you figure?”

“Seriously? You’re really asking this?” Cas nodded; Dean shook his head. “Cas…..you’re wearing skinny jeans-“

“So’re you!” Cas interrupted. Dean cocked an eyebrow.

“May I finish?” 

Cas had the good grace to look abashed. “Sorry.”

“Thank you. Now, as I was SAYING,” Dean smiled at Cas’ grin, “you’re wearing skinny jeans, cuffed up, with _TOMS_. That’s just girly.”

Cas glanced down at his shoes. “Is it?”

“Oh yea.”

Cas pondered his footwear. “…..huh.” Finally, he looked up at Dean. “Okay. You can be Danny today.”

Dean laughed as the books were shoved in his direction. “Hey, wait a minute. If I’m Danny, shouldn’t I be carrying YOUR books?”

Cas’ brow furrowed. “You want to carry MY books as _well_ as yours, plus that bag? That seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?”

“….oh.” Dean hadn’t thought about that. Cas didn't have nearly as many books as Dean....he didn't even carry a backpack of any kind. “You’re right.”

“See?” Cas grabbed the books back. “So just let me carry them, Sandra Dee.”

Dean let out a burst of laughter. “Pain in the ass.”

Cas grinned. “You know it.” They stopped outside Dean’s classroom door. “Well, here we are. Enjoy class with Creepy McCreeperson.”

Dean shuddered. “Don’t remind me.” But at least Charlie was there, and by today she should have her class schedule sorted out. Maybe they would have lunch together.

Cas handed over Dean’s books, and it may have been Dean’s imagination, but it seemed like Cas let his hand brush lingeringly along Dean’s arm. “I’ll see you at lunch, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “Yea. See you.”

He watched as Cas left, and he could feel that touch lingering on his arm, a strange but pleasant tingling feeling, long after Cas had gone.

 

**~*~**

 

Today the periods shifted again and shop switched out for gym. Dean was delighted to see that he had another class with Benny. Not only that: they were playing _soccer_. Soccer was by far Dean’s favorite sport. He’d never stayed at one school long enough for him to play on a team but he had always loved playing it in gym class.

“Okay, everyone!” The teacher was Mr. Adler, a heavyset man, balding, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Dean doubted he did much exercising these days, if the gut said anything. He was one of those teachers who wanted to be everyone’s best friend, telling them all to call him ‘Zach’, but Dean didn’t believe it for a second. That smile was 100% fake. “Count off in twos; the twos grab a yellow jersey and we’ll split up into a game.”

Dean and Benny cheated, slipping into line so they would end up on the same team, and yanked on their matching yellow jerseys to join the game. It wasn’t anything like a real soccer game. No one seemed that invested in playing. Dean didn’t know if that was just because it was the first gym class of the year or if no one had interest in the game in general, but honestly, despite loving the game himself, he was far more interested in goofing off. This was only the second time he’d gotten to see Benny, and they were having fun. Benny was wearing that hat again, and with gym shorts and the yellow jersey, it looked positively RIDICULOUS. Dean bounced the ball from knee to knee, then, taking careful aim, bounced it in Benny’s direction, hitting just under the brim of the hat and taking the cap neatly off.

Benny stared in surprise; Dean just grinned at him. “Ta da!”

Benny burst into laughter. “Now _that_ was plenty impressive.”

“Definitely was.”

The new voice caught Dean by surprise and he spun about, finding Mr. Adler behind him. “You’ve got some talent there, kid. You ever play on a school team before?” Dean shook his head. “No? No interest, or….?” He trailed off, leaving the question open for Dean to fill in the blank, but Dean didn’t care to do so. He didn’t want to share that information with someone like this. Only Cas, or Benny and Charlie. People he liked. 

“Just no,” he said.

Mr. Adler laughed a fake little laugh. “Well, then….any interest in joining? We’ve got try-outs this afternoon.”

Dean opened his mouth, about to tell him that no, he couldn’t be on the team, that he’d most likely be moving in a month, but something stopped him. Charlie. Charlie had told him to be positive. That just because things were usually bad, he couldn’t shut himself off from all experiences to avoid the risk of losing things. “…..okay,” he said at last. 

“Great!” Mr. Adler clapped his hands together. “We’ll be on the playing field behind the school at 3:00 today.” Dean nodded and Mr. Adler turned away. “Okay, everyone! Time to clean up! Class’ll be ending soon!”

Dean felt Benny’s gaze on him; he turned to find the boy watching him with a raised brow. “What.”

“You seemed reluctant.”

“No, it’s not….” Dean sighed, hands scrubbing his face. “Dammit.” Benny held up his hands.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, that’s not it.” Dean shook his head. “C’mon. Let’s head back to the locker room. I’ll tell you on the way.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean pulled his lunch out of his locker and shut the door, clicking the lock in place, a smile on his face. Now that he had told Benny the whole, horrible backstory of his life, he felt better. Obviously not EVERYTHING…..he hadn’t had the kind of time he’d had with Charlie, or even with Cas. But he’d had enough. Now Benny understood that Dean was a mess, and he still wanted to be friends despite it all. That meant _everything_.

Suddenly, there was a flurry of movement to his left and Charlie came bounding over, red hair flying. “Hi!” she said brightly. He laughed.

“Hi.” He glanced down. “Got your lunch?”

Smiling, she raised a vintage _She-Ra_ lunchbox. He had to laugh. 

“That’s awesome.”

“You think?”

“Totally! She-Ra was always cooler than He-Man.”

“I know, right?” Charlie swung her lunchbox happily. “What’ve YOU got?” She reached over, grabbing his hand. “ _Really_ , Winchester?” Her voice was laced with disappointment. “Brown-bagging it?”

“Hey, we can’t all be as cool as you.”

“Pfft,” she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “THAT’S a given. But you’re pretty damn close.”

Dean grinned. “I’m actually flattered, Bradbury.”

“You should be. I don’t compliment just ANYONE.” She paused, thinking. “I DON’T compliment anyone, really.” She smiled at Dean’s laughter. “But seriously, we’ll have to get you a real one.”

“Hey, I’ve been looking! Scouring Goodwills and tag sales and Savers, looking for a nice vintage lunchbox.”

“Oh.” Charlie seemed to think that over. “Well, I’m gonna find you something in the meantime.”

Dean shook his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

She grinned. “Damn straight.”

They entered the bustling lunchroom and paused, looking around them. The hipster group was where they always were: the back left corner of the room.  
Dean glanced at Charlie. “You sure you’re up for this? Cuz we can sit somewhere else…”

Charlie shook her head stubbornly. “No. I don’t give a shit what they have to say about me. I want to sit with you, and you want to sit with me AND Cas, and I’m not making you choose.”

Dean smiled. “You’re the best, Charlie, you know that?”

“Of course I do.” She shrugged as though it were obvious. Dean laughed as they walked. “Besides….I wanna meet Mr. Sex Eyes.”

Dean felt his face flush. “Charlie….you need to-“

“I know, I know.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll keep my mouth shut. No suggestive comments.”

“Thank you.” Not that Dean didn’t trust her, or that he was embarrassed to let Cas know how he felt (he was pretty positive that, after yesterday, Cas already knew), but he didn’t know what the deal was with the rest of the group: whether they knew Cas was…gay? Bi? Whatever he was……and whether they knew him and Dean were interested in each other. Somehow he doubted it. 

They reached the table and stopped; Dean smiled at everyone. "Hey guys."

They were greeted with a mixed bag of hostile and disbelieving stares, almost as if the others were asking why the hell Dean would bring Charlie here. But he ignored them, smiling at Charlie and, sitting down, kicked out a chair for her.

"What's going on here?" It was Cas. He seemed to have arrived mere seconds after them and was standing behind Charlie, lunch tray in hands.

"Nothing. Just introducing everyone to Charlie."

Cas paused before the redhead. "Oh, so YOU'RE Charlie. I've seen you around before. I think we had computers together last year. You were amazing."

Charlie's entire face lit up at the compliment. "Computer science is my favorite subject."

"Yeah?" Cas sat, Charlie following suit, Dean sandwiched between them. 

"I don't know, there's just something so fun about cracking down codes. And they're easier to deal with than people, sometimes."

Castiel cast a look in the direction of his friends. "I know what you mean."

At that, Charlie glanced at Dean, her face clearly stating ' _you are crazy and if you breakup with this guy, I will KILL you. He is a keeper_.'

Dean couldn’t fully suppress a snort, shaking his head as he unwrapped his sandwich.

“Something funny, Winchester?”

He swallowed a bite of PB&J. “Yea, your face, Bradbury.” His comment resulted in having a handful of edamame beans thrown at him. One bounced across the table, skittering in Meg’s direction, and the blonde looked up in angry shock.

“ _Excuse_ me?!” Dean and Charlie turned to look at her; she gestured to the edamame. “Do you mind??” 

Charlie shook her head. “Not at all.” And she offered Meg the bag of edamame to share. Dean nearly choked with laughter, burying his face in his hands. Meg looked positively LIVID. She had clearly been expecting Charlie to apologize for the mess or pick up the bean that had landed near her, but no, instead she had made a smart-ass joke. Meg turned that glare on Dean as he continued to laugh, then noticed that even Cas was laughing. “CASTIEL!”

“Oh, calm down, Meg, it was funny.” Cas sounded totally unaffected by Meg’s anger. Dean grinned, happy to see Cas siding with Charlie and not Meg. But his words had the desired effect and Meg shut her mouth. 

Dean didn’t know how much more obvious Meg could make it that she was in love with Cas, though he doubted it was for the right reasons. She didn’t appreciate his dorkiness, or how sweet he could be, the way he picked up on little things no one else noticed…..

He realized he was thinking like a twelve year old girl with a crush, or a Disney heroine, and worse, that he was sitting there with one elbow on the table, chin in his hand, gazing at Cas with blatant affection on his face. And even worse than THAT was the fact that Cas had obviously caught onto his attentions and was staring back at him with that same fond look he’d worn that morning.

Dean could feel the blush go all the way to the tips of his ears; he shoved his chair back, the metal legs screeching against the floor, and rose abruptly to his feet. “I’m gonna go get some milk.” He headed off, face burning.

Luckily by now the line had gone down so it didn’t take long to get milk. However, on the way back to the table, he saw a very familiar someone. Benny was sitting alone, book in hand, reading intently. 

Dean stopped beside him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Hey!” It didn’t surprise Benny at all. Nothing ever seemed to startle Benny. “You never said you had this lunch period! Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

Benny glanced over at the table where Cas and Charlie sat. “You already had friends here. I didn’t want to intrude.” There was no malice in the words or hint of jealousy. Benny truly meant what he said. Dean heaved a sigh internally. Sometimes Benny could be too considerate for his own damn good.

“Well quite frankly, Benny, I feel betrayed.”

Benny smiled at the over-exaggeration in Dean’s voice. “That so, brother?”

“It’s _totally_ so. Now get your ass over here and eat with us.”

Benny gestured to his empty lunch tray. “But I’m done.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a smartass.” And laughing, Benny rose and followed him.

“Hey, guys, this is Benny.”

Dean’s introduction was met with another round of disbelieving stares. Meg looked downright hostile; Lucas had a vague interest in his eyes, though there was nothing friendly about it. Ruby shared Meg’s aura of hostility, but there was an interest in her gaze that was purely sexual, as if she were trying to see straight through Benny’s clothes. God, she was creepy. Michael was smiling, albeit hesitantly. He clearly didn’t think Benny was the type of guy to fit in with their group, but didn’t want to be rude. Bela was also eyeing Benny with an interest that wasn’t completely innocent, but in her case Dean wasn’t worried. She wasn’t creepy like Ruby was. Gordon was silent, like usual, but his eyes were cold.

And Cas…..Cas’ reaction surprised Dean. He looked as if he were struggling internally to overcome some emotion, almost as if he were upset, and it was then that Dean remembered Cas’ confession of jealousy. But it seemed as if he won the struggle, and he smiled. “Hello, Benny. It’s nice to see you again.”

Benny returned the smile. “You too.” And it looked almost as if Benny somehow knew about Castiel’s feelings, for he took the seat beside Charlie, giving Dean and Cas space.

Charlie, for her part, seemed to take to Benny immediately. “Hi!” she said brightly. He chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“Hello.”

“You’re the one who has shop and gym with Dean, right?” She didn’t even wait for an answer, barreling on. “Are you going to try out for soccer with him?”

“Soccer?” Cas interjected, his eyes fixed on Dean. “You’re trying out for soccer?”

Dean winced internally. He hadn’t planned on making a big thing out of it and now Charlie had spilled it to the whole table. “Ah….yea. Mr. Adler saw me play in class today and asked me to tryout this afternoon.”

“Wow.” Cas looked impressed. “You must be pretty good.”

“He is,” Benny answered. Cas tensed slightly as Benny complimented Dean, but forced himself to relax. Dean had to bite back a smile. It was actually kind of cute. “Knocked my hat clean off my head without even hitting me….just the cap.” He flicked the underside of the hat’s brim, tipping it back on his head to demonstrate. “Just like that.”

“……..wow.” Cas had stared with wide eyes at Benny throughout his story; now he turned to Dean. “You seriously did that?”

Dean blushed. "Yea," he answered. He was vaguely aware of Charlie in the background asking “You wear your hat in gym class?” 

Cas was looking at him as though he were some incredible creature that shouldn’t exist in this world, a unicorn or a phoenix. “……holy shit.”

“Look, it’s not that big a deal,” Dean said.

“Shut up. It’s a CRAZY big deal. That’s so freaking cool, Dean!”

God. Dean was going to catch fire; his face was burning so hot with blush. “Cas, please.”

Cas opened his mouth to say something else, but Meg interrupted. “Cas? CAS?? Where did THAT one come from?”

Dean looked at her, momentarily confused. Then it sank in that none of the others in the group used that name. They all called him Castiel. “…..I don’t know. It just sorta came naturally.”

She scoffed. “Castiel, are you really going to let him call you that?”

“Yes.” The answer came so abruptly that Meg was momentarily stunned speechless. Dean was almost amused; it was something that happened so rarely.

“Yes? YES?! Castiel, you barely KNOW this guy!”

“That's your opinion. But what I know of him is FAR more likeable than what I know of _you_.” Cas pushed back his chair, rising. “I think I’m done eating. Dean? Charlie, Benny? You want to join me?”

Dean stared up at Cas. His heart was pounding fit to burst. Nodding dumbly, he rose to his feet, vaguely aware of Benny and Charlie following. As they left the lunchroom, Cas glanced his way, a small smile on his face. It was such a tiny thing, but it hit Dean with all the force of a Mack truck.

Oh God. He was in love.

He was in love for the first time in his life, with absolutely no idea where to go from here.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> I was going to wait a while to post this, but today is the 15 birthday of my abnosome cousin Kit, who is the one who convinced me to watch Supernatural. He is amazing and I adore him. So have a chapter on his behalf!
> 
> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/destiel_zps27eb75bc.jpg.html)  
> Kit as Cas and me as Dean. I tackled him and started saying "I NEED you Cas! We're FAMILY!" So his bewilderment is pretty much 100% real here lol
> 
> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/deanme_zps711d425e.jpg.html)  
> Me as Dean. I shaved off all my curls and made an "I Wuv Cas" shirt.


	8. More Than Just a Fantasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Don't you know how it feels_  
>  to get days and months and years  
> trapped inside a waking dream?  
> I bet you you and I could sit back tonight and try  
> to make it more than just a fantasy.  
> ~ _'Weekend'_ by Neon Trees
> 
> I know the lyrics sound romantic but it is intended as purely platonic.

The rest of the day had gone extremely well, all things considered. Cas had led them from the lunchroom to the courtyard outside.

Benny had looked around him, taking it all in. “Are we allowed to eat out here?”

“Probably not,” Cas had answered. “But I do it all the time. Lots of people do.”

Benny shrugged. “Works for me.”

They had all sat and finished their lunches, and Dean had been happy to see that Cas was not only making a concerted effort to get along with Benny, but that it was actually working. The two seemed to mesh well. Each just had such a naturally mellow personality. It worked well with Charlie’s perkiness; they balanced each other out. Dean wondered where he fit into all this. Then Cas had smiled at him and sent butterflies rushing through him. _Oh God_. 

Dean finished tying his sneakers, by this point freshly changed into his gym clothes, and tried to shake off those memories of earlier, but it was difficult. He didn’t know how he had fallen so hard for Castiel in such a short amount of time. He had heard of things like this happening but had never expected it to happen to him. And now….

What if Cas didn’t feel the same? He had asked Dean out, but he hadn’t said anything since then. True, it had only been one day, but there had been nothing, not even a hint. And even if he DID love Dean, COULD love Dean, there was no guarantee that the Winchesters wouldn’t be moving in a month, two months, three, no guarantee he wouldn’t lose Cas as quickly as he had found him.

Dean shook his head, shoving the feelings away. He couldn’t think about this now. He had soccer to play. Most of the other boys trying out were already on the field. He jogged out to join them.

There was a boy standing there who was so skinny that Dean was amazed he didn’t fall over under the weight of his own head. His light brown hair was so shaggy that it reminded Dean of Sam’s and he immediately felt a pang of affection, though it was just of subconscious association. But then the boy turned to him and had such a huge, welcoming grin on his face that Dean couldn’t help but like him instantly.

“Hello!”

Dean had to smile back. “Hello.”

“I’m Garth.” The guy looked as if he wanted to hug Dean, but refrained, thank God. Dean wasn’t really a hugging type of guy.

“Dean.” He offered his hand. Garth shook it, and his hand did twitch as though he wanted to pull Dean into a hug, but he still hung back. 

“You’re new, right?”

“Yea. You play on the team before?” 

Garth nodded. “Every year.”

It was a bit surprising. The guy was so damn skinny; it was hard to picture him playing a sport like soccer, which required such endurance. “What position?”

“Forward. What about you?”

Dean shrugged. “I’ve never played on a team before. Just in gym class over the years.”

“Oh. Well. Got a preference?”

Dean was a bit surprised, though he didn’t know why. It was an obvious question to ask. He huffed a laugh. “Never really thought about it before.” There had never been any reason to. He had never expected to have a chance like this….to actually play on a team. He thought for a minute. “……I think midfielder.”

Garth let out a long, low whistle. “That’s tough, man.”

Dean nodded. “I know. That’s why I like it.”

“Everyone!” The two boys turned at the sound of Mr. Adler’s voice. “Gather round and we’ll start the tryouts!”

As Dean jogged in with his new friend, he caught a glimpse of bright red in the stands. Charlie. She had come to cheer him on. He smiled. She was so awesome. 

Feeling bolstered by her presence, Dean set into tryouts with a whole new level of confidence.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean was out of breath and covered with a fine sheen of sweat. Adler had really put them through their paces, and Dean had loved every minute of it. He had never gotten to play as much soccer as he would’ve liked. He hoped he got on the team. It would be fantastic to be able to train like this several days a week.

“Okay, boys, we’re finished today. I’ll post the list tomorrow morning outside the gym. You can all leave.”

Dean heaved a sigh, slinging an arm around Garth’s shoulders. “You were great,” he said, and he meant it. He had been incredibly impressed watching the skinny guy play. He honestly didn’t know how Garth did it, but he was a damn good athlete.

Garth beamed. “Thanks! You too. I really think you’ll make midfielder.”

“I hope so.” Dean caught sight of a glimpse of brilliant blue. No….it couldn’t be….but there he was, Cas, waiting with Charlie right by the fence, a huge smile on his face. Dean couldn’t believe it. “….ah…..I gotta go, Garth. I’ll see you later, yea?”

“Okay, Dean.” And there it was, THERE was the hug. Dean extricated himself with some difficulty, heading to the fence.

“You…” he practically breathed the word, barely more than air. He could still hardly believe Cas was really there. “.....hi.”

Cas leaned over the fence, smiling at Dean. "You were AWESOME!"

Dean's face was already flushed from exertion so he couldn't blush, thank God. “You were here the whole time?”

Cas nodded. “I sat with Charlie.”

“Oh.” Dean wasn’t sure what to say.

“Really, Dean, it was amazing to watch. You were so good.”

Dean was embarrassed, but it felt good to hear Cas say that. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, a lopsided smile on his face. "Thanks."

Cas just smiled. "So..." he looked a bit nervous now, gaze dropping to the ground briefly before looking back up at Dean. "Do you want to do something?"

Dean's heart skipped a beat, a 'yes' wanting to spill forth, but... "...I can't. I have plans with Charlie." Cas' face fell and Dean felt horrible. ".....you can come with us? If you want."

Cas hesitated, obviously considering it, but he shook his head. "No. That's okay." He smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" And with a smile and wave, he headed off. Dean watched him go, a terrible feeling of wrongness in the pit of his stomach, but then, no more than five feet away, Cas stopped, turning back to face them. “Do you want to go to dinner next week? Maybe Friday?”

Dean blinked, surprised. “Friday?

Cas nodded, a small smile on his face. “You know….Friday. That day that comes after Thursday and before Saturday.”

Dean glowered. “I know what Friday is, pain in the ass.” Cas laughed. “And….yes. I’d like that.”

Cas smiled, the look lighting up his entire face. “Wonderful. I….I’ll call you?” He frowned. “You don’t have my number, do you. Here.” He pulled out his phone, typing something into it. “I just texted you. Now you have it.”

Dean smiled. “Okay. Thanks.”

Cas nodded. “So….Friday.”

“Friday.”

Cas smiled at him again. “Bye.” And with that, he turned away and left for real, Dean watching that blue sweater and messy head of hair vanish into the parking lot.

"You know," and Dean jumped at the sound of Charlie's voice, so close by, her reproachful tone, "you could've gone with him. I wouldn't have minded."

Dean scoffed. "There's no way I'm going to ditch on my friends for the guy I'm seeing. I'm not going to be that kind of boyfriend." As soon as the word was out of his mouth he regretted it, especially when Charlie's eyes lit up, a manic grin slowly spreading across her face.

"BOYFRIEND?"

Dean groaned. He was never going to live this one down. “Shut up, Charlie.”

Her words were sing-song as she continued. “You said boooyfriend.” 

“Oh my God shut up.”

“I certainly will not.” If she grinned any bigger, her face would split in two. “You said _boyfriend!_ ”

“Shhhh!” Dean hissed, looking around to make sure no one heard. “Charlie, seriously, shut up! I don’t even know if that’s what he thinks we are.”

“But it’s what YOU think you are. Or at least HOPE you are.”

He sighed. “Yea, okay? I do. Hope that. Happy?”

She grinned. “Very.”

Dean scowled. “You’re such a fucking brat. Give me my bag.”

Laughing, Charlie handed it over. “You ready to go?”

“I’m ready to go SHOWER,” he corrected. Charlie arched a brow at him.

“You sure Castiel is gonna like that? His boyfriend showing all the fun bits to a bunch of other guys?”

That made Dean stop and think. True, he and Cas weren’t officially dating (right?) but Cas still did ask him out. Was it okay to get naked in front of a bunch of other guys? An uncomfortable feeling gnawed at him. He shook his head at last, shoving it away.

“I can’t help that right now.” At another raised brow from Charlie, he threw up a hand in frustration. “Charlie. I stink.”

She looked taken aback at his blunt honesty, then leaned in and gave an experimental sniff, immediately withdrawing, nose wrinkled. “You DO stink. Okay, you can shower.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Thanks for your permission.” Shouldering his bag, he headed off towards the locker room, but then Charlie was shouting after him.

“Hurry up, though! Can’t let that sexy ass stay naked for TOO long!”

Dean practically cringed. First Cas, now Charlie. What WAS it with his friends yelling embarrassing things after him?

“They’re lucky they’re cute,” he grumbled to himself, vanishing into the building to take the fastest shower possible.

 

**~*~**

 

“What’s this?”

Dean looked up from where he was digging through his drawers. His hair had dried quick enough but he hadn’t taken time to dry off after his shower, simply yanked his clothes on and left. It was all Charlie’s fault. She had planted that seed of worry in his head, made him think that he shouldn’t be naked in front of anyone but Cas, and it had left him rushing to cover himself up as quickly as possible. Now here he was, clothes sticking to his wet body. He wanted to get into something dry as fast as possible.

“I don’t know, what is it?” he asked.

Charlie held up what looked to be a folded up map. “Looks like a world map.”

“Then I’d say it’s safe to assume it’s a world map.”

Charlie rolled her eyes at him. “Pain in the ass.”

“Look who’s talking.” He gave a twirl of the finger. “Turn around.”

“Why?”

“Do you WANT to see me naked? Thought you weren’t interested in boy parts.”

She pulled a face. “Good point.”

Once Charlie had her back turned, Dean shimmied out of his jeans and shirt, quickly tugging on a pair of soft pajama pants and a t-shirt so worn he was amazed it didn’t have holes in it yet. “Okay.”

Charlie turned around again, smiling when she saw the _‘David the Gnome’_ logo on his shirt. “That was such an awesome show!”

“Right? I hardly ever find anyone who knows it.” He flopped onto his bed.

“Well I loved it.”

“Of course you did.” Dean said this as though there was no question in the matter, as though it was fact. “You’re awesome.”

Charlie laughed. “I’m glad you know it. Oh! Anyway, the map!”

Dean cocked his head. “What about it?”

“I think I have a use for it. Do you have any thumbtacks?”

“Of course I do.” Dean reached over to his bedside table, tugging the drawer open and pulling out a small container of thumbtacks. “Here.”

“Thanks!” Charlie took the tacks and moved over the opposite side of the room, where there was a broad expanse of bare wall. She glanced at Dean. “May I?”

He still had no idea what she was doing but he nodded. “Go for it.”

Charlie unfolded the map, tacking it up on the wall so the entire world was visible, then turned and smiled at Dean. “Now we can mark all the places we want to travel to someday!”

Dean felt something tighten in his chest, but it wasn’t a painful feeling. He swallowed hard. Charlie was watching him, waiting, and after a moment he smiled back at her, nodding. “Yea. I like that.”

Smiling, she moved to his side, grabbing his hand and tugging him to his feet and over to the map. “Where’ll it be first?”

Dean stared at the map, eyes roving over it. He honestly never thought about travelling. He did so much travelling already that he had never thought about where he’d like to go if he were the one to choose the location. Every so often he’d be reading about a place or watching a film and he’d have the thought hey, it might be nice to go there, but it wasn’t something he thought about on his own. And now Charlie was _making_ him think about it, opening him up to a whole world he never would have found on his own. He smiled at her. 

“What,” she asked.

“Nothing. You’re just wonderful.”

She smiled back. “You’re pretty spectacular yourself.” He laughed. “So…..first choice?”

Dean contemplated the map. _If I could go anywhere…….if I could go ANYWHERE….._ He thought about all the places he had been, those he had read about, those he had seen in movies. And then for some reason, he had the image of walking through London, past Big Ben, the Tower Bridge, Westminster Abbey. He took one of the thumbtacks that Charlie was offering and stuck it firmly into England. “London,” he said. “I’d go to London.”

Charlie grinned. “Like the Doctor?”

Dean let out a burst of laughter. “Like the Doctor.” He shook his head. “I still never got to finish Tennant’s season.”

Charlie’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.” He looked defensively back at her horrified face. “Hey, it’s hard when you’re moving all the time!”

Her horror faded, sympathy bleeding onto her face. “True.” She bit her lip. “Well….how about that’s our new project? That and the map.”

Dean grinned. “What…..watch Doctor Who and fill the map with places to go?”

Charlie nodded. “Yup.” Dean burst into laughter. “What? What’s so funny?”

He shook his head. “Nothing, just…..GOD, we are such losers.”

She grinned. “Yup. And proud of it.”

“Always.” He looked at her, a small smile on his face, but his voice was completely serious as he said “I’m so happy I met you, Charlie.”

She smiled back, her rainbow clad arm reaching out, gently punching Dean’s shoulder. “Likewise, Winchester.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if any of you are familiar with 'David the Gnome', but it was an AWESOME show. I watched it as a kid and LOVED it, so I bought a bootleg as an adult, and it turns out David the Gnome was a pervert! The first episode opens with him in the tub, and then he strips to his long johns to help heal a rabbit. Why? I DON'T KNOW!


	9. The Touch of God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _We began to talk of silly things_  
>  we loved and things we feared.  
> And in our found connection  
> everyone else disappeared.  
> ~ _"Attraction", Neon Trees_

“I don’t understand.” Charlie’s voice was loud in the otherwise silent room. For once, no music was playing, the record having finished and the turntable shut down. “What exactly is the problem?”

Dean sighed, staring up at the ceiling from where he was lying on his bed, Charlie stretched out on her back beside him. It had grown to be a customary position over the past several days. She would come over after school and inevitably at some point they would put on a record and flop, talking about anything and everything. But right now, he just couldn’t find the words. “I don’t know.”

“Wow. That…..is INCREDIBLY specific.”

Dean scowled. “Sometimes I don’t know why I come to you for advice.”

“Because you refuse to go to Benny or Garth. And I’m your Jedi master. And a girl, so obviously I give better love advice.”

“There is _no_ world in which you count as a girl.”

“Hey!” Charlie pulled the pillow out from under her head and walloped Dean with it. 

“Ow!”

“You deserved it,” she grumbled. “Asshole.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Dean returned the pillow to Charlie and she shoved it back under her head, settling down again. “And I don’t confide in Benny or Garth cuz I don’t know them as well. Garth I still barely know at ALL.” Dean had made midfielder but they’d only been practicing for three days (the announcement had come on Friday and the first practice had been that very afternoon, picking up again Monday and Tuesday), so he hadn’t spent much time with Garth yet. Benny he knew better…..he had two classes with the guy and also lunch, but they still hadn’t gained that camaraderie that Dean and Charlie had. Besides….. “And you and I are just….”

Charlie looked at him. “…..just what?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel…..super close to you. Closer than I have to anyone before. Besides Sam, that is.”

Charlie was smiling now. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

She snuggled up close, hugging him. “I _knew_ I gave you my gay friendship armband for a reason.” Dean burst out laughing. She pulled back far enough to look at him. “But you’re allowed to have super-close feelings for Cas, too. Cuz he’s your boyfriend and all that.” Dean sighed; Charlie arched a brow. “Oh? A sigh? Might this be part of the problem we’re talking about? Or rather NOT talking about?”

“Yes,” Dean answered.

“Okay,” Charlie sounded pleased that Dean had finally revealed the true subject of his stress. “Talk, young padawan. Your guru is here.”

“I think you’re mixing your fandoms.”

“Dean!”

“Okay, okay!” Dean shook his head. “It’s been seven days since he asked me out. SEVEN DAYS.”

Charlie blinked. “Seriously?”

“Yea. He asked me out last Wednesday. Today’s Tuesday.”

“….wow.” Charlie pondered this for a minute. “…..so?”

“So? SO? So he hasn’t said anything since then! Hasn’t done anything, hasn’t tried anything! I don’t know if we’re dating or what!”

“ _Tried_ anything?”

“Yea.”

Charlie looked somewhat amused. “Sorry, Dean, but what exactly are you expecting him to try? The only time you two see each other is at school, right? You think he’s gonna shove you up against a wall and kiss you senseless?”

Dean glared. “No. But he doesn’t do ANYTHING. I get these suggestive smirks and he reads these poems in class that just-“

“Wait…did you say poems? He reads you POEMS??”

Dean flushed. “It’s an assignment,” he mumbled. “We have to read aloud poems that we like, but he always picks these super romantic ones and gives me these little _looks_ while he reads them.”

Charlie looked at Dean like he was crazy. “And you don’t think THAT’S ‘doing something’?”

“ _I_ don’t know!” Dean exploded. “I’ve never exactly done this before, alright?”

There was dead silence as Charlie stared at Dean with wide eyes. He felt the blush creeping up the back of his neck and into his ears. “…..you…..you can’t tell me you’ve never dated before.” He didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, simply looked away. “ _Seriously?_ Someone as funny and sweet and hot as you? How is that possible?”

“We moved around too much,” he mumbled. “Came close once. Moved on to a new town right as things were getting serious.”

“Oh, Dean,” Charlie’s voice was soft. She pulled him into a hug, holding him close, and amazingly it didn’t feel patronizing…it felt good. Warm. Comforting. He simply shifted closer and let himself be held.

“Well…” she said, stroking his back, “I can tell you this much. Castiel is nuts about you. I can see that just from watching the two of you at lunch.”

That made Dean smile. “Yea?” He bit his lower lip. “So why do you think he hasn’t said anything?”

“Well, you’re going out to dinner Friday, right?” He nodded. “I’m sure he’ll say something then. Where’re you going?”

“Amici’s.”

“Really?” She sounded surprised. “Oooh. Fancy, fancy.”

“Is it?” Crap. Now he was worried. 

“Kind of. I mean, it’s not a jeans and t-shirt kind of place.”

“Aw, shit. I don’t have anything super fancy to wear.” Dean’s mind was racing, going into panic mode. It seemed like Charlie could tell.

“Dean, calm down. I’ve seen your closet. You’ve got the basics in there. You have some nice pants, right?” He nodded. “We can figure out the rest.”

“Well, don’t I need a dress coat or something?”

“Nah, we’ll make it work.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dean!” She grabbed his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “Calm down. We’ll put you in those dress pants of yours, maybe a nice button down….you’ll be fine. Seriously. _You’ll be fine_.”

Charlie’s voice was calming. Dean took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. “Thanks, Charlie. You’re a big help.”

She smiled. “That’s my job.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean couldn’t decide if Friday came way too soon or not soon enough. He was dying for his date with Cas, to be alone rather than in class or at the lunch table, but at the same time the thought of being alone at dinner, just the two of them, made him so nervous he thought his heart would burst through his chest.

The two HAD had _some_ time alone together. They managed to catch the odd few minutes (or even an hour if they were lucky) at Klekolo, but there were still always familiar eyes watching. Particularly Meg. She was _always_ watching them, eyes fixed on Dean with hatred. He didn’t get the impression that Cas had paid her any particular attention before Dean had transferred there, but Meg seemed to take his recent presence at the school as a kind of threat to some imagined claim.

But while she may be able to watch them at school, she couldn’t read their texts. Cas kept in constant contact and his messages always made Dean laugh. And talking through text sometimes let Dean open up in a way he still wasn’t comfortable doing in person. Sometimes things just flowed so easily between the two of them, like when they would talk and laugh about carrying each other’s books, but as Dean had discussed with Charlie, he still wasn’t entirely sure where the two of them stood, and it made him nervous. When he got nervous, he got shy. When he got shy, he blushed. And that just made him even MORE nervous. It was a horrible, vicious cycle. But over the phone, he felt free to say whatever he wanted, and then when they saw each other in person the next day, one or the other would inevitably reference what had been said and a whole new line of conversation would be opened. So in a very real way, this texting was helping Dean to open up more and more.

But tonight, there would be no hiding, no assisted means of communication. Dean would be on his own. And yeah, that thought made him nervous.

The two of them had agreed that he would pick Castiel up and drive them both to the restaurant. They had come to this arrangement after a long, drawn out argument over who had the nicer car, an argument that happened at lunchtime and caused much amusement to Charlie and Benny and great irritation to Meg. Dean ended up winning, of course, because come on, who would EVER pick a Prius over an Impala? He had won by popular vote, with Charlie, Benny, Bela, and even Michael and Ruby backing him up. Only Meg stood for Cas. Lucas and Gordon didn’t deign to vote.

So here he was at 5:45, pulling up outside what was quite frankly a ridiculously large white house. He checked the address, but no, he had the right place. “ _Damn_ ,” he muttered under his breath. The Novaks must have it pretty good. _And he still drives a shit Prius?_

Dean walked up the front steps, his heart racing, and gave a firm few raps on the door. He was so nervous, he felt like he was shaking. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets to hide it.

The door opened and there was Cas, smiling at him with bright eyes. “Hi!”

Dean couldn’t help but smile back. “Hello.”

Cas pushed open the door. “You’re a bit early.”

Dean laughed softly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Yea…..wanted to be sure I found the house alright.”

“Well, do you want to come in?” Castiel opened the door wider. “ I’m gonna be a minute or two more.”

Dean grinned. “Gotta finish primping?”

Cas laughed. “Oh you know it.” He held the door as Dean stepped inside, then let it close with a soft ‘click’.

Dean looked around him. “You have a huge place.”

“Yeah. Well. My dad’s a writer, so he makes a decent amount, I guess.” It was Cas’ turn to smile awkwardly. 

“Your dad’s a writer?” Dean was surprised.

“Yeah. “ Cas paused, then added “he uses a pen name.” Dean would wager Cas told him that bit to explain away why Dean wouldn’t have heard of the name ‘Novak’. 

“That’s so cool! What’s he write?”

“Porn.” Dean whirled at the new voice and came face to face with a shorter boy who looked to be a few years older than he and Cas. He had an obnoxious smirk on his face and honey colored hair.

“Gabriel!” Cas sounded annoyed. “Must you?”

“Always.” The newcomer (Gabriel, clearly, and an older brother if Dean had to guess) stepped closer, looking Dean up and down. “This the new boyfriend, Cas?” Cas just let out an exasperated sigh, shoving his wallet into his back pocket. “He’s hot, I’ll give you that.”

“Aww, thanks, pookums,” Dean made his voice sarcastically sweet. Gabriel looked taken aback, then laughed.

“And sassy. I like him.” He looked to where Castiel was tugging on a pair of shoes, and not those ridiculous TOMS for once. “Make sure you keep this one.”

Cas brushed past him, grabbing the sleeve of Dean’s shirt and pulling him along. “You ready to go?” But Dean didn’t even get a chance to answer affirmatively before Castiel was tugging him out the door.

“Oh man, is that your car?” Gabriel sounded thoroughly impressed. “DEFINITELY keep him!”

“Get in the car and drive,” Cas muttered. The more frustrated Cas got, the more amused Dean became, but he did as he was told, sliding into the driver’s seat and revving the engine. But with the car windows down, they could still hear Gabriel clearly as he yelled after them.

“Have a good time, kids! Make sure you use protection!”

Cas let out an anguished groan, burying his face in his hands, and Dean threw back his head and laughed. “I think I love your brother,” he said at last, through remnants of laughter.

“Please, just drive,” Cas mumbled through his hands.

Grinning, Dean put the car into gear, driving them towards Amici’s.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean hadn’t even realized how much of his nervousness had abated with Gabriel’s teasing until they arrived at the restaurant. All of Gabriel’s teasing had relaxed him, and the car ride, though short, had been calm and amiable. They hadn’t talked much, just some lighthearted ribbing on Castiel’s behalf about what a crazy brother he had, but it had been enough. Dean had felt great. He only realized how much Gabriel had calmed him down once they reached Amici’s and all that nervousness came rushing back.

Dean parked the car and slid out, trying to calm his racing mind. It wouldn’t do to enter this date in a state of panic. But then he realized that Gabriel had asked Cas “is this the new boyfriend” and Cas had said nothing, simply brushed it off. What did _that_ mean? All of the worrying of the week rushed back and Dean couldn’t suppress his nervousness any longer. He stopped dead. 

It took a minute for Cas to notice Dean was no longer beside him but when he did, he stopped as well, turning. “What’s wrong?” 

"What _is_ this?" Dean blurted out. 

Cas looked at him, perplexed and concerned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what is this?" Dean gestured to the car, the two of them in their dress clothes. "You, me....this!"

Cas' brow was furrowed and dammit, that should NOT be cute. "I still don't understand."

"Dammit, Cas." Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration, falling silent as he struggled to find the right words. "Look," he spoke up at last, voice quiet, "you said you were asking me out, but since then you haven't made any sort of move. So I'm asking....what is this.... _thing_....between us. Are we going out?"

The look of confusion and concern faded from Cas’ face as if it had been wiped clean and his lips twitched almost as if he wanted to laugh. “….Dean…” He shook his head. “I didn’t know,” he answered at last. “You never gave me a yes or no. So I honestly don’t know WHAT we are….if you’re my boyfriend.” He smiled softly. “But I’m rather hoping you are.”

Dean felt a wave of relief and happiness wash over him; he was pretty sure he was grinning like an idiot. “Yea?”

Castiel’s smile grew at the sight of Dean’s grin; he nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean stepped forward almost stumblingly. “Well…..yea. I…..I’d like that, too.”

Cas smiled, moving forward to meet Dean. “You wanna be my boyfriend?”

Dean nodded, a hand reaching out almost unconsciously and tugging at Cas’ sleeve. “Yea. I…..yea.” He paused, pulling back slightly, and his eyes were nervous again. “But you still….I mean, it’s only been two weeks. You don’t really _know_ me.”

Cas shook his head, stepping forward and closing the distance between them. “Dean, as stupid and sappy as it sounds, I feel as if I know you better than all those kids at school that I’ve known for years.” And yes, it WAS sappy, but it still made Dean’s heart flutter. “Besides,” Cas smiled, “Isn’t that part of what dating is for? To get to know each other?”

Dean felt all of his nerves fading away, vanishing as if they’d never been there; he nodded. “Yea.” A smile overwhelmed his face, his cheeks pink. “You know, I feel the same. About knowing you for years.” The color in his face grew, flushing brilliant red, and he looked away. “Goddammit. You made ME get all sappy.”

Cas chuckled at that, but his eyes were twinkling, his face practically glowing with happiness. “Okay then. Now that that’s settled, would you like to go to dinner….boyfriend?”

Dean’s face was hurting from smiling so wide. He laughed at Cas’ words, nodding. “Yea.”

Cas gestured, a hand finding the small of Dean’s back, sending electricity through him as he guided him to the restaurant’s entrance, and just like magic, all of Dean’s worries were washed away. Tonight was going to be _amazing_.

 

**~*~**

 

The restaurant was fancy, but not TOO fancy, and Dean was relieved. He wasn’t at all out of place in his dress pants and forest green button down. Charlie had told him over and over that he would be fine but he had still panicked. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from staring at Cas, who was wearing a blue argyle sweater vest over a white button down. Sweater vests were meant to stay on the golf course and shouldn’t even look good THERE but somehow Cas looked _unbelievably_ hot. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away. He knew he was being obvious but he just couldn’t help it. 

Amazingly, Cas was oblivious until they got their drinks, when he finally caught on to Dean’s unflinching gaze and laughed. "What is it?" 

"You," Dean blurted out. "That stupid sweater vest. That shouldn't look good on anyone but it looks AMAZING and I wanna tear it off you with my teeth." The words burst forth in a stream before he could stop them and he immediately turned bright red.

Cas looked taken aback but then he smiled, an amused smirk. "Oh really? I'll have to make sure and wear it again, then." There was something hot and primal around the edges of that smile and it _did things_ to Dean, getting beneath the collar of his shirt and flooding heat through him that had nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with arousal.

"Yea," he said, mouth dry, "please do."

Cas smiled as he stirred his drink (a Shirley Temple, for God’s sake. How was he so damn cute?). “You look really good yourself.”

Dean looked down at his outfit, so basic compared to what Cas was wearing. It was then that he realized he still had his mom’s scarf on and, cheeks going pink, he tugged it off. Force of habit.

Cas smiled. "You always wear that," he said. "It must be very special to you."

Dean swallowed hard. How did Cas always know? "It....it is," he managed with some difficulty. "It was my mom's..."

He saw Cas' face change, eyes stricken. "Oh, Dean." And then Cas was reaching for him, his slim, graceful hand enveloping Dean's and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm so sorry."

Dean shook his head. "Don't be. You didn't know. And really, I like that you asked." He smiled. "Shows that you're interested."

Cas let out a little laugh. "I AM interested in you." He paused, then softly added "and her as well." Dean was taken aback, not sure what to say, not even quite sure what Cas _meant_ , but Cas wasn't finished yet. "You obviously love her very much. So yes....I'd like to know more about her. I understand if you don't want to tell me," he added hurriedly, "or if it’s too soon after meeting me. But I just wanted you to know....I'd like to."

Dean stared at Castiel, his heart pounding. Cas began fidgeting awkwardly beneath that gaze. "....you," Dean began, then stopped, shaking his head. "Fuck. How are you so amazing?"

Cas turned bright red, but he laughed. “I’m really not. Least not in the way you mean.”

“You are. No arguing. I only date amazing people.”

That elicited a burst of laughter. “Oh? You date a lot of people?”

Dean couldn’t help but blush at that, all the way to the ears. He could lie, but he didn’t want to. Not to Cas. “Actually, you’re the first.” 

Cas didn’t laugh. He DID look surprised, but it was the same sort of surprise that Charlie had when Dean had told her, surprise that someone as wonderful as Dean hadn’t dated before. Worried that Cas might press the topic or worse, say something similar to Charlie (he didn’t know if he could handle that conversation right now, and he was definitely already blushing way too much to talk about it) Dean rushed on, grinning. “So, see? Clearly I know what I’m talking about. I only date the best.”

Cas stared at him, then cracked up. “Okay, then. I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“Damn straight.”

Cas shook his head, smiling. “You’re ridiculous.” Their meals arrived; Dean busied himself with unwrapping his silverware. “But you know, even if you’re the expert, I still think I got the better end of the deal.”

Dean’s head snapped up; he stared at Cas. The brunette just smiled back at him. His stomach full of butterflies, Dean turned his attention to his plate, at a loss for any sort of response.

 

**~*~**

 

The rest of the evening had gone ridiculously well. Dean couldn’t recall the last time he’d had such a good time. Cas had been sweet, and flirty, and funny, and they had gotten along so well it was almost scary. And they were dating. DATING. He still couldn’t believe it.

Dean parked the Impala outside Cas’ house. “Well, here we are.”

“Here we are.”

Dean smiled at Cas. “Walk you to the door?”

Cas laughed. “I’d like that.”

So Dean did. It was beginning to rain lightly so the two stood close together as they walked, their body heat warming each other.

They stopped outside the front door, awkwardly standing before each other. 

“Well,” Dean began, “I guess I’ll see you on Monday?”

Cas nodded. “First thing.”

They were both silent. It was clear they both wanted to take action but were too nervous to do it. But then, unbelievably, Dean made the first move, leaning in and brushing his lips ever so lightly against Castiel’s. It was barely a kiss, so soft and chaste, but it was a kiss nonetheless, and when he pulled away, eyes nervous, Cas’ face was glowing with joy, and Dean couldn’t help but mirror the expression. That one little kiss had clearly made Cas happier than anything. Dean had done that. _He_ had made Cas that happy. _HE_ had done that. His stomach was full of butterflies; he felt as though he would explode from so much happiness. 

“Goodnight, Cas,” he said softly.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean turned away, knowing if he didn’t, he would stand there all night. The walk back to the car felt as if he were floating on clouds, and the ride home felt like a blur.

When Dean entered the house, Sam was sprawled out on the living room floor, homework spread around him. He looked up at Dean and a grin slowly spread across his face. "So. How did the date go?"

Dean knew he must have the goofiest grin on his face but he didn't give a damn. "Go to bed, Sammy."

"I take it by your evasion and the stupid-ass grin on your face that it went well?"

Dean headed down the hall towards his room, calling over his shoulder "go to bed, Sammy!" Inside, he shut the door and leaned back against it, head falling back with a soft 'thunk'. He could hear Sam call "am I right?" and his smile only grew.

It had been a perfect night, the most perfect night in existence. He carefully hung up his scarf, tugging off his clothes with much less care and discarding them. Crawling into bed, he went to plug in his phone. It was then that he noticed the text message. It was from Cas. He flipped the phone open, looking at the message.

_I had a great time tonight. Thanks. I’ll see you Monday, Boyfriend. ;)_

Dean’s face hurt from smiling; his stomach was doing flip flops.

Boyfriend. It said _boyfriend_.

Definitely the perfect night.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the date! I hope you all enjoyed it! I gave you Gabriel! And next chapter we get to meet Ellen and Jo!^^ 
> 
> Again I must ask if anyone is an artist and would be interested in doing any art. I'd love to see some Destiel cuteness, or Charlie and Dean with their rainbow-ness. Anything, really. I love you all, whether you do or not! And yea. Ellen and Jo. And more. >.>


	10. Your Song Remains the Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Every beautiful melody_  
>  is tuned to say "I miss you when you're gone"  
> Sing to me, sing to me sweetly,  
> before the music dies and we're left with fragments of a song.  
> Your song remains the same,  
> still spinning on the airwaves.  
> ~I Am the D.J, Neon Trees

When Dean woke up the next day, he felt as if he was on Cloud 9. Nothing was going to ruin his day. NOTHING.

Then he got up and saw his dad’s boots by the door. John Winchester was still home. _Dammit_.

He shook his head stubbornly. This was going to change nothing. He wasn’t going to let his dad rain on his parade. He’d had the most amazing Friday; his Saturday would be equally good. Besides, he would be seeing Charlie today. He had promised he would tell her all about the date.

“Good morning, Dean.”

Dean glanced over his shoulder. John was still in his bathrobe, a pair of ratty old sweatpants visible. “Hey, dad.”

“What’re you up to today?”

Dean poured himself a bowl of Fruit Loops. It wasn’t unusual for his dad to do this: ask questions as if he were interested, then interrupt halfway through and change the subject. “Not much. Going out with a friend from school.” Better to keep answers short and sweet.

“Well don’t be out too late. I promised Ellen we’d go over tonight.”

Dean was torn between happiness and irritation. It was just like his dad to not inform them of plans, and he was gonna be pissed if he had to cut his plans with Charlie short because his dad hadn’t let him know what was going on. On the other hand, he DID want to see Ellen, and her daughter Jo. The last time Dean had seen Jo, she and Sammy had both been in diapers. “What time?”

“Round six. We’re going over for dinner. Guess her boyfriend will be there, too.”

“Okay. I’ll be back in time.” Dean picked up his bowl and headed back towards his room, stopping to knock on Sam’s door before poking his head in. 

“Dean! Don’t just shove your way in here!” Sam furiously yanked the blankets up to cover himself.

“Well then lock the door if you’re gonna be masturbating.”

“I wasn’t-“ Sam began hotly, but Dean interrupted.

“We’re going over to Ellen’s for dinner tonight. Thought I’d let you know now. Six ‘o’clock.” He gave Sam his most obnoxious smirk. “You might wanna wear pants.”

Ducking the pillow Sam threw at him, Dean returned to his room. He’d better call Charlie and let her know about that evening. Their plans were early so they should be done well before six, but even so, it was better to plan for any contingency. 

 

**~*~**

 

“Wait a minute,” Charlie’s voice was full of shocked delight. “YOU kissed HIM?!”

“Will you shut up? GOD!” Dean shook his head. “You may as well be talking through a bullhorn.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, but….oh my God!”

Despite Charlie’s freaking out, Dean couldn’t help but grin. “Yea.”

“Seriously, Dean, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Hey!” He hit her. She just laughed. 

“I’m serious! You spent this whole week freaking out about this date, and then you’re the one who initiates the kiss? Major props, man.” She held out her hand for a fist bump and Dean complied, grinning. He was unable to stay irritated with anything that day.

“So….this friend you’re going to see tonight…”

“Ellen,” he answered automatically. “A friend of my dad’s. They dated in high school for like….two weeks or something. But they stayed close, which is impressive for him. He’s not too good at keeping friends. She’s great, though. And she’s got a kid. Well,” he laughed. “A daughter. She’s about four years younger than us. Last time I saw her though she was still in diapers, so I guess I just think of her as a kid. But she’s a year older than Sammy.”

“Hmm.” Charlie sounded pensive. “Is she hot?”

“CHARLIE!” Dean was horrified. “Did I not just tell you that the last time I saw her she was in DIAPERS??? How would I find that hot? Do you think I’m a fucking pervert?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” Charlie paused. “Well, is her _mom_ hot?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Because you know, she might LOOK like her mom, so you could gauge it off that…”

“Charlie, you have some serious issues.”

“Hey, the babe pool at our school is seriously lacking!” Charlie protested. “You have YOUR hottie. Where’s mine?”

Dean shook his head, amused despite himself. “You’re too old for her, anyway.” Charlie opened her mouth to protest but then something caught Dean’s attention. “Hey, can we go in there for a minute?” He pointed to a shop across the street.

Charlie’s brows shot up. “Really?” He nodded. “Okay, sure.”

And, as if drawn by a magnet, Dean crossed the street and pushed open the door to the little shop.

 

**~*~**

 

“Hey, Dean, you bout ready to go?”

“Yea, dad, give me one more minute!” Dean stared down at the bag in his lap, the pile of treasures he had purchased that day. He didn’t know what had caused him to buy knitting needles and yarn, but something had just compelled him. He didn’t even know that he knew how to knit anymore. But if nothing else, he figured he could look up a tutorial on the internet. He always _had_ enjoyed knitting. It would be nice to try again. But he wasn’t going to tell anyone (well….anyone but Charlie, who had been there when he bought the stuff). Not until he knew he could do it.

“Dean!”

“Okay, I’m coming!” Dean shoved everything back in the bag and hid it in a duffel bag beneath his bed. The last thing he wanted was his dad seeing it. Not that his dad searched his room, but John definitely hadn’t liked it when Dean had first learned to knit. He thought it was girly and that a little boy had no business knitting. It was probably high up on the list of reasons he was glad to move away from Mary’s parents’ house: then Dean’s grandmother couldn’t teach him to knit any longer.

Dean wrapped his scarf around his neck and joined his dad and Sam at the door. “Okay. I’m ready.” He saw his dad’s eyes linger on the blue scarf, the disappointment and frustration there, but he didn’t say anything, simply headed outside, and the two boys followed.

The car ride to Ellen’s was surprisingly short. Dean was surprised to find that he recognized the house. It had been ten years since they had been here, but it looked exactly the same. He could clearly picture Sammy and Jo out in the yard and yes, there was the sandbox they used to play in for hours. He smiled at the thought of chubby little Sammy toddling around in diapers. And Jo…..Jo had been a pudgy little thing as well, with a head of fluffy blonde hair. He wondered what she looked like now.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out. The door was answered by a drop dead gorgeous girl, long blonde hair loose about her shoulders. Dean was completely taken aback. He never would have imagined that chubby little girl would’ve grown up like THIS. “Jo?”

She smiled. “Dean!" She threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “Hey!”

“Whoa, hey.” He laughed at her enthusiastic greeting. “You can’t tell me you remember me.”

She pulled back, smiling at him. “Bits and pieces. I remember you had to pull Sam and I apart when we fought.” Her attention shifted now, that brilliant smile turning to Sam. “Make sure we each got an equal amount of cookies.”

Sam stepped forward, smiling. “Good to see you, Jo.” She stepped into his arms, giving him a hug as big as the one she had just given Dean.

“Hey, Sam.” Pulling back, she looked him over. “Well. _You_ both got attractive.” Sam burst into laughter.

“We could say the same for you,” Dean said, smiling. “The two of you were a pair of round little kids.”

“Oh, shut up, Dean.” Sam punched his brother’s shoulder, but Dean just laughed. 

Another face peeked out the door. This woman was older, but the resemblance between her and Jo was clear, and Dean would recognize her anywhere. “You boys coming inside, or am I going to be stuck alone with your father all night?”

Grinning, Dean moved past Jo into the house. “Good to see you, Ellen.”

Ellen pulled him into a hug. “You too, Dean.” She hugged Sam as well. “You boys got so old!”

“Us? Look at your daughter!”

Ellen rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

A man entered the room just then, and Dean’s eyes widened. “You….” 

It was his shop teacher, Mr. Singer, greasy trucker cap and all, and he looked just as surprised to see Dean as Dean was to see him. Ellen looked back and forth between the two of them. “You two know each other?”

Mr. Singer nodded. “Kid’s in my shop class.”

“Oh.” The surprise faded from Ellen’s face. “I suppose that’s not too surprising. Well, boys, John, this is Bobby. Bobby Singer.”

“Your boyfriend?” John asked. 

“That’s right,” Bobby wasn’t smiling, and Dean wondered what exactly Ellen had told him about his dad. The two men were looking at each other, almost giving each other a silent once-over. He wasn’t certain what exactly it was that they saw, but they seemed to come to some sort of silent agreement, for they shook hands. 

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” And now Bobby didn’t seem quite so serious. “You want a beer?”

“Love one.” 

The two men disappeared from the room; Jo looked to Sam and Dean. “You guys want something to drink?”

“Sure.”

She gestured for them to follow her, leading them to the kitchen. The men were on the porch, talking. As Dean watched, Ellen joined them. Jo was rooting through the fridge, looking at the drinks. “We’ve got Pepsi, Sprite, Dr. Pepper….”

“Sprite,” Sam said.

Dean smiled. “Surprise me.” Jo arched a brow at him. She grabbed two soda cans and headed across the room to the cupboard, pulling out a glass. As he watched, she filled the glass half with Pepsi, half with Sprite, and handed it over. He laughed. “Wow. You took that quite literally.”

She shrugged, a small smile quirking the corners of her mouth. “Enjoy.”

He took a sip. All things considered, it actually wasn’t too terrible. Jo herself was drinking a Dr. Pepper. He looked her over. Her hair was a beautiful golden blonde and her eyes were dark and yet bright, intelligent. God. Charlie would be all over her. He felt a sense of big brother overprotectiveness and at the same time felt the urge one gets to set their friend up with someone they think they’d like. It was a horrible contrast of feelings.

“I haven’t seen you around school,” he said. “What lunch period do you have?”

“Second.”

“Ah, gotcha. Sammy and me both have third period.”

“Yeah. And so does Dean’s BOYFRIEND,” Sam added. Dean glanced sharply at him. He didn’t know how that would go over here, and though he doubted it, he didn’t know if Jo would say anything to their dad. Both her eyebrows had shot up at the word.

“Boyfriend?”

Well, it was too late now. He sighed. “Yea. His name is Cas.”

“Cas.” Jo said the name as thought testing it out. “Wait….Castiel? Castiel Novak?”

Dean was surprised. “You know him?”

“I have art with him! He’s really really good!”

That didn’t exactly surprise Dean (Cas seemed just the type to be good at art) but he was surprised he hadn’t heard about it yet. He wanted to see Cas’ art. “Really?”

Jo nodded. “Mmhm. Really good at portraits. I mean, good at everything but man, you should see him draw people.”

Dean felt a pang of jealousy that Jo had seen Cas’ art and he hadn’t. He knew it was ridiculous but he couldn’t help it; he wanted Cas all to himself.

“Jo? Boys?” They turned at Ellen’s voice. “Time to eat.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was nearly 11:30 by the time they got home, and Dean was exhausted. Not that he hadn’t had a wonderful time. Ellen was just as amazing as he’d remembered, and Jo had grown up into a great kid. _Girl_ , he corrected mentally. He supposed he’d always think of her as a kid, a little sister. Bobby was also completely awesome, and Dean didn’t know how he was supposed to go back to thinking of him as Mr. Singer. He still used the word ‘idgit’ all night, in reference to not only Dean but also Sam, Jo, and John, and even Ellen at times. Even worse than that, his favorite word seemed to be ‘balls’. Rather than swearing, he would simply curse ‘balls!’. Dean didn’t know how he would ever look at his shop teacher again without picturing that and laughing.

John hadn’t gotten drunk, either, or even tipsy. He seemed to have been holding back, whether because of Ellen’s influence or to make a good impression on Bobby, Dean didn’t know, but he was thankful for it, whatever it was. He’d been expecting to have to drive them home, but John was completely sober. It was a fantastic ending to a fantastic night.

Dean flopped into bed, pulling out his phone at last. He’d kept it tucked away all night, not wanting to be rude to their hosts, but now he could look at it. There were several missed texts, all from Cas. Smiling, he flipped the phone open and dialed Cas’ number.

The phone picked up after the first ring, that deep voice answering “Hello, Dean.” 

He shivered. _God_ , that voice was so low and gravelly and just sent butterflies through him. “Hey,” he almost whispered.

“Have a good evening?”

“Yea. Hey guess what. Ellen is dating Mr. Singer!”

“You’re kidding.”

“Totally not. Oh, and what’s this about you drawing?”

Cas was silent for a moment. “Who told you that.”

“Ellen’s daughter Jo. So how bout it, Cas? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why’s it important?” Cas sounded curious.

“Are you kidding? I wanna see your work. Cas. Cas I wanna see your art.” Dean could practically feel the amusement radiating through the phone, but he didn’t care. If anything it just made him want to push more. “Cas?”

At that, Cas finally broke, a little laugh escaping. “Alright, alright. I’ll show you on Monday. Happy?”

“Very.” Dean’s voice was smug, knowing he’d succeeded in getting his way. It made Cas laugh.

“Smug bastard.”

“You know it.” He shifted beneath the blankets and yawned; he couldn’t help it. But Cas heard him.

“I should let you go to bed. You’ve had a long day.”

Dean didn’t want to sleep, but Cas was right. “Okay.”

“Get some sleep, okay?”

“Alright.” Dean hesitated. “Cas?”

“Yes?”

“…..I miss you.”

The smile was clear in Castiel’s voice as he answered. “I miss you, too. I’ll see you Monday, yeah? First thing Monday.”

The sound of that smile made Dean smile in return. “Yea. Monday. Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

He hung up his phone, setting it aside on his night table. There he could see it light up if he got a text. A smile on his face, he stared at it until he fell into a peaceful sleep.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the boys don't seem like they're suddenly way more familiar with each other. As I said last chapter, they HAVE been texting, so they're a lot more familiar than the times we've seen them together at school. I just wanted to explain that in case anyone was wondering.^^


	11. A Waking Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _I found my love, it was just last week.  
>  He really had me turnin' on.  
> I fight for hours just to try and speak.  
> We are the ones that put on the show  
> I'm never alone when I'm around you.  
> ~Weekend_, Neon Trees

Monday morning couldn’t come fast enough. Dean headed into English class with nervous excitement fluttering in his stomach, and there was Cas, already in his seat, smiling up at Dean. His heart immediately turned flip-flops. Smiling, he slid into his chair next to Cas, cheeks flushed happily.

Mrs. Harrison set into the lecture right away, talking about the next section of poetry they were going to be discussing. Dean was taking careful notes when suddenly a tiny note came sailing onto his desk. Furtively, he opened it. There were only a few words in the messy scrawl he had already grown so accustomed to. 

_**So, I know we’ve been tossing around the word ‘boyfriend’ but TECHNICALLY**_

(Dean smiled at the word; he could perfectly picture the tone of voice Cas would have said it in) 

_**you never actually answered the original question. So how bout it? Will you go out with me?**_

Dean smiled. _Dork_. He scribbled his answer, **_YES_** , in large capital letters, underlining it several times, and tossed the paper back, watching Cas to see the way his face lit up as his smile grew, those sapphire eyes looking Dean’s way.

“Mr. Winchester?”

Dean’s attention snapped back to the front of the room. Mrs. Harrison was watching him. It seemed she had noticed that he wasn’t paying attention. “Yes?”

“Something seems to be distracting you this morning.”

“That would be my fault,” Cas spoke up; Dean stared at him, eyes huge. What on earth could Cas be about to say. “I was asking him for clarification on one of the points you just made.” 

The look on Mrs. Harrison’s face made it clear that she didn’t believe Cas’ excuse but she didn’t press the issue, thank God. “Thank you, Mr. Novak, for illuminating the situation. But the next time you have a question, please ask me. I know that Mr. Winchester is a brilliant student, but I am still the teacher.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mrs. Harrison returned to the lesson. Dean was flushing, but it was only slightly due to embarrassment and far more to do with the compliment he had just been paid by his favorite teacher. Was that nerdy? He was pretty sure that was nerdy.

When class ended, Cas was immediately at his side. Dean shook his head at him. “You are SUCH an ass.”

“Hey, we didn’t get in trouble, did we?”

“Only cuz Mrs. Harrison likes me.”

“Oh, that’s cuz you’re such a _brilliant_ student,” Cas teased, mimicking the teacher’s voice. Dean blushed.

“Shut up.”

Cas grinned. “No. Maybe you can be my tutor.”

Dean frowned. “Do you really need a tutor?”

Cas shrugged. “Don’t think so. They haven’t posted any grades yet. Too early in the semester. But I highly doubt it. Still, as much as I love it, English isn’t my greatest subject.” He grinned. “And I’m clearly nowhere _near_ as brilliant as YOU are.”

“Speaking of brilliant…” Dean shifted his books in his arms as he walked. “Wasn’t someone supposed to show me his drawings today?”

Cas feigned surprise. “Oh? Who could that be?”

Dean fixed Cas with a Look. “Cas…”

“Is he cute? Should I be jealous?”

“God, you are SUCH a brat.”

Cas laughed. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I brought my sketchbook with me.”

Dean’s face brightened. “Yea?”

“Yeah.” Cas smiled. “In fact, I started working on a new drawing during class.”

Dean was torn between excitement and amused exasperation. “Cas!”

“What?”

“If you actually DID need a tutor, this would be why.”

“Hey, I listen.”

Dean sighed, shaking his head with an amused smile on his face. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it.” Cas was grinning. They stopped outside Mr. Alistair’s class. Those blue eyes glanced in the door where the man was standing. “He still giving you trouble?”

Dean shrugged uncomfortably. “Still just stares.”

“Well if he tries anything, you come to me.”

Dean stared, then let out a bark of laughter. “Oh yea? You gonna beat up my teacher?”

“Hell yeah! Can’t have him harassing you.”

It was so silly, but it filled Dean with warmth. He smiled. “Gonna defend my honor?” he teased. Cas actually blushed.

“Shut up,” he mumbled. “Yes.”

Dean grinned. “You’re so cute.”

“Hey!” Cas punched his shoulder. “Shut up and go to class. And don’t let that creep give you any trouble.”

“Will do.” Dean’s brow furrowed. “Won’t do? Both?” Cas laughed. “What? I’m not sure which works better in this situation.”

“Me neither,” Cas admitted. “I say go with both.”

“Okay, then. Both.” Dean smiled at Cas. “I’ll see you at lunch.” He headed into his classroom towards where Charlie was sitting waiting for him, and as he walked he realized suddenly that since their date, everything between he and Cas had already become so much easier. They were talking as smoothly and easily as they had in their texts, everything flowing simply and freely. He smiled. Everything really was working out perfectly. 

Charlie raised a brow as he slid into the seat next to her. “Well, SOMEONE looks happy today. Good day so far?”

He smiled at her. “Yea. _Great_ day.”

 

**~*~**

 

Shop class that day was incredibly interesting. Dean hadn’t noticed it the first time he had shop but the strange boy with the 80s hair was in their class….the one who had greeted him his first day of school with “hola amigo” and earned Meg and Gordon’s disdain in response. He wasted no time in saying hello.

The kid’s name was Ash and he was a computer geek like Charlie. In fact, when Dean mentioned Charlie’s name, Ash’s eyes widened till they were the size of saucers. Turns out he had a separate computer class but Charlie’s coding had been used as examples and he had a bit of a techie crush on her. Dean was afraid of breaking his heart when he found out Charlie was a lesbian but the news didn’t seem to bother him at all, so it seemed it really was just a computer thing. 

It WAS strange to see Mr. Singer after the dinner at Ellen’s, but the man didn’t behave any differently towards Dean, so that helped him to maintain a scholarly attitude. But it didn’t take long for Bobby to dub Dean, Benny, and Ash ‘the Three Stooges’, a name that they embraced. It suited them, after all.

Cas was waiting for Dean after class when he emerged with Ash and Benny. He smiled at the sight of the three of them laughing.

“Hello, Benny.” And the greeting was 100% genuine. Dean was so happy to see that Cas was no longer jealous (or didn’t _seem_ to be jealous) of Dean’s friendship with Benny.

“Hey, Castiel.” 

Cas turned warm eyes in Dean’s direction. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.” Dean grinned, jerking his thumb in Ash’s direction. “This is Ash.”

Cas nodded. “I don’t think we’ve ever really spoken, but I’ve seen you around. I’m Castiel. Cas,” he corrected. It made Dean’ heart flutter.

“Ash.” He offered his hand and Cas accepted. 

Dean was grinning. “He’s the last member of the Three Stooges.”

Cas’ brows shot up. “The Three Stooges?” he echoed.

“That’s what Mr. Singer dubbed us today.”

Cas’ eyes travelled over the three of them; he smiled. “Well, I don’t know Ash, but from what I know of you and Benny, I’d say the name fits well.”

Benny laughed; Dean punched Cas’ shoulder, though he was laughing as well. “Asshole.”

“The dude speaks the truth,” Ash said. He glanced at his watch. “Well, I’ve gotta be running. It was nice meeting you.” He raised a hand in farewell. “Later.”

“Later, Dr. Badass.”

Cas turned from watching Ash leave to cock a brow at Dean. “Dr. Badass?”

Dean shook his head, still smiling. “His preferred computer name. He’s a computer geek, like Charlie. Has a bit of a crush on her, actually. Long story.” He clapped his hands together. “Well,” he looked between Cas and Benny. “We ready to go to lunch?”

 

**~*~**

 

Charlie was already at the lunchtable when they arrived. She was conversing with Bela and Ruby, which was surprising to Dean. Over the last week, none of the group had really warmed to Charlie, though Bela had at least been friendly. Now it seemed as though the two were getting on relatively well. He figured maybe they could become decent friends. Bela’s main problem seemed to be that Charlie was a bit TOO quirky. He figured it had to do with Bela’s upbringing. He got the impression that she had been raised in a very strict household. Someone like Charlie had to break all the rules Bela had been raised with.

Ruby, on the other hand….he supposed it wasn’t as strange to see Ruby talking to Charlie. Ruby was the one in the group who seemed to have the _least_ amount of rules, something that would be good in most people but in Ruby’s case was generally very, VERY bad. But right now, it was working out in Charlie’s favor…..hopefully. Ruby could quite possibly be annoying the pants off of her. He supposed he’d find out in a minute.

“Hey, guys.” He plopped into a seat. “What’s up?”

Charlie gave Dean a look that would appear normal to anyone else but to him read as ‘dear God please save me’. He had to stifle a laugh. “Nothing much. Just talking.”

“Well, I met a fan of yours today.”

“Oh?” Her interest was naturally piqued. 

“Yup. I guess your computer teacher shares your work with other classes. Why didn’t you tell me you went by the name Queen of Moons?”

She flushed, glaring at him. “Shut up.”

He was grinning. “Oh no, I think it’s fantastic.”

“Shut your face, Winchester.”

Dean just laughed. “Anyway, his name is Ash, and his handle is Dr. Badass.”

Immediately Charlie’s face lit up. “Dr. Badass?! Dr. Badass likes MY WORK??”

Dean was taken aback. “….yea? Why….you know him?”

“The teacher shares his work with us. It’s amazing!”

Dean laughed. “What’re the odds, huh.”

It was then that Bela interrupted. “I’m sorry, Dean, but are you wearing a Beatles shirt?”

He glanced down at his chest. “Yea.” It was a shirt from their Help! album. He waited for Bela to call him out on it but she smiled.

“My parents love the Beatles. When they were young, they actually travelled cross-country to see them play.” Her smile turned wry. “Probably the only fun thing they ever did in their lives.”

Dean felt a pang of sympathy. He knew how it felt to have trouble with your parents, to want more and never get it.

“That’s actually how Dean and I met,” Cas spoke up.

That caught the attention of several at the table, including Dean. He was surprised Cas was sharing this….not that he minded. 

“I thought you met at a tag sale.” It was Meg, her voice suspicious.

“We did. Looking at records. We both wanted the same Beatles record. He got it.”

“Naturally.” There it was again, that snotty voice. Dean glared at her, he couldn’t help it.

Cas’ face wasn’t much friendlier. “I gave it to him,” he said, voice cold.

“What record?” Bela truly sounded interested, and Dean wondered if her parents’ love of the Beatles had transferred onto her.

“ _Revolution_ ,” he answered.

“ _Hey Jude_ on the B side?” she asked. 

He stared at her, surprised. “Yea. Exactly.”

And when Castiel's hand found his beneath the table, Dean couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sensation of love.

 

**~tbc~**


	12. Unavoidable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _I can't think, can't speak.  
>  I can't move, can't breathe.  
> This is a white heart heat when you get next to me.  
> When I'm around you it's like waking up the dead.  
> ~Unavoidable_, Neon Trees

When school ended for the day, Cas walked Dean to his car and they both stood there. Dean fidgeted with his keys. “…so…”

“So,” Cas echoed, smiling, albeit somewhat nervously.

“….do you want to come over?” Dean asked.

Cas smiled. “I’d love to.” 

Dean moved to get in the car, then paused. “Do you want to ride with me? I can bring you back to your car later?”

Cas hesitated. On the one hand, the plan really made no sense. It would be so much easier to just drive home from Dean’s place than to come back to school first. On the other hand, he REALLY wanted to ride in the car with Dean. “Yeah,” he said at last. “I’d like that.” 

By the smile on Dean’s face, it was clear that Dean would like that, too. “Awesome.”

The sound of feet behind him stirred Cas’ attention and he turned. There was the boy who Dean had pointed out as his brother. He was shorter than both of them by a good foot, but he gave the impression that he still had a lot of growing to do. Cas wouldn’t be surprised if he outstripped them both. “Sam, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yup.”

Cas held out his hand. “I’m Castiel Novak. I have classes with your brother.”

“I know. He’s mentioned you before.”

Cas arched a brow. “Oh?” He glanced at Dean, who was flushing. “Only good things, I hope.”

“You might be surprised by HOW good.” The tone of Sam’s voice was suggestive.

“Sammy!” Dean practically barked the name, his face now red, and Cas had to stifle a laugh. Dean looked away from the smile on Cas’ face. “You’re in the back, Sammy. Cas is coming over.”

The look Sam gave Dean was one that Cas couldn’t read, a silent communication between brothers, but he was pretty sure it was about him. Then Sam was smirking and Dean was glaring. “Get in the car, Sammy.”

“Fine, fine.” Sam obeyed without further objection. Dean looked at Cas.

“Everything alright?” Cas’ words were politely concerned, but the teasing tone in his voice was impossible to miss.

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled, and Cas laughed as they both slid into the car.

 

**~*~**

 

“Well. This is it.”

Cas looked around the room. Dean’s bedroom was fairly large, and while it didn’t have much furniture in it, it hardly looked empty. Dean hadn’t been living in town long but the room looked lived in. Warm and homey. 

Curiously, Cas moved around the room, examining everything. There was a dresser with a big mirror that had photos tucked into the edges. These included pictures of what he assumed were Dean and Sam as kids (those made him smile the most) and photo booth photos of Dean and Charlie making stupid faces at the camera. Dean fidgeted nervously as Cas continued on his exploration, looking through the books that filled the two large bookshelves. Finally Cas came upon the world map that Charlie had hung on the wall. “….what’s this?”

“Oh.” Dean moved to stand beside Cas. “It was Charlie’s idea.” He brushed a fingertip over one of the thumbtacks. “We’ve been marking places that we want to go to.”

The idea made Cas smile. “I like that.” He paused, thinking, and swallowed. "So,” his voice was carefully nonchalant as he spoke, “is this a two person thing or can anyone get in on it?" 

Dean smiled, especially at the awkward nervousness Cas was trying to hide. "Not ANYONE. But I suppose you're allowed." 

The smile that lit up Cas' face was gorgeous. “Got any more thumbtacks?”

“Yea.” Dean moved to his bedside and pulled the tacks out of the drawer, returning to Castiel’s side. 

Cas took the proffered thumbtack and moved to stick it in the map, then paused. “Huh.”

“What. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just.” Cas huffed a laugh. “My spot’s taken.”

“Where did you want to go?”

Cas pointed, tapping one of the thumbtacks. “London.”

Dean felt his heart skip a beat. “…..that was me. That was the first place I chose.”

Cas turned to look at Dean with surprise. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yea. I just……I don’t know. I really want to go.”

“Me too.” Cas looked back at the map. “If I could only ever choose one place to go, that would be it.”

“Me too.” Dean felt a warmth inside at this unexpected connection. He took Cas’ hand, squeezing it. Cas looked at him, surprised, then smiled. 

“What’re the odds, huh.” He looked at the map again, then spoke up hesitantly. "I would've thought you'd done enough travelling by now." Dean was silent for a long moment and Cas was worried he'd overstepped his bounds. Then, Dean spoke up at last. 

"Sometimes I think like that. Think it would be nice to stay in one place for once. But then I think no, I don't want to let my dad's stupid choices dictate the way I live my life. I want to travel and see all the places _I_ choose." Dean's voice was so full of passion and it stirred something in Cas. A passion and a longing of his own. Too long he'd been living his life content to just get by. Not anymore.

Dean sensed Cas staring at him and glanced in the boy’s direction only to be greeted by that deep blue gaze, so full of love and a whirlwind of emotions. He laughed somewhat awkwardly. “What. What is it?”

“You.” Cas guided Dean, turning him until they were facing each other. “You really have no idea how amazing you are, do you.”

Dean flushed, looking away. “I am not.”

“You are. How you’ve taken care of Sam, put up with so many years of moving around….dealt with so much loss and stayed strong despite it all. Because you are. You are so strong, Dean, and such a loyal friend and a sweet, funny person. I don’t know how you don’t see how amazing you are.”

Dean’s face was neon red. “Oh my God, shut up.”

“No, you need to hear these things. Somehow I’ll make you believe them.”

“Cas, you shut up or I’ll make you.” And despite his flush, Dean still managed to get across the heated hint in his eyes to suggest just how he would shut Cas up.

Castiel frowned at him. “Don’t try to distract me with sexing. It won’t work.”

“Oh?” Dean’s hands slid up Cas’ chest, fingers tugging on the collar of his shirt; he ignored the nervous pounding in his chest and softly murmured “I think it will.”

“Dean…” Cas warned weakly, but then Dean was kissing him and Cas couldn’t object, didn’t WANT to object. It was a small kiss, much as the night of their date, and Dean pulled away with a hesitant, nervous look in his eyes, but he was smiling. Cas smiled back. “I have to say, I like your methods.”

Dean’s smile grew. “I was hoping you would.”

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek. “May I return the favor?”

A nod. “Of course.”

Cas leaned in, kissing Dean. It was a longer kiss this time, though still soft. He didn’t know what exactly Dean’s background was in the physicality department. Dean had said he’d never dated, but that didn’t mean he never got physical….still, he seemed very shy, so Cas didn’t know what moves to make. So he kept it soft, not wanting to push Dean too far. But then Dean was pressing forwards, deepening the kiss. Apparently Cas didn’t have to be worried. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, letting Dean meld their bodies together as they kissed. He barely even noticed as Dean moved backwards, guiding him along. He only caught on when Dean tumbled back, dragging him with, and Dean landed on his back on the bed with Cas falling atop him. “Oof.”

Dean was grinning; all traces of nervousness were gone from his face. “Still like my methods?”

Cas laughed. “They grow better by the minute.” He leaned in for another kiss but then, some sort of realization dawned on Dean’s face and he pulled away. Cas frowned as he was denied kisses. “What. What is it?”

“Your drawings. You never showed me your drawings.”

Cas stared. “This? THIS is why you stopped kissing me?” He rolled his eyes. “Dean, the drawings can wait. Kisses, on the other hand, are extremely important and cannot wait another second.” He leaned in for another kiss, but Dean stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Dean!”

“No. I wanna see your drawings.” Dean shifted away; Cas tried to chase his lips to no avail. Finally, he sighed.

“Fine. You win.” Pulling away, he slid from the bed, moving to his backpack and tugging out his sketchbook before rejoining Dean. “Here.”

Dean flipped it open and Cas huffed a laugh, amused. “You’re starting at the back. That’s the one I did in English today.”

Dean stared at the drawing. It was crude, unfinished, but it was unmistakably the figure of a boy seated at a desk, elbow resting on his books as he took notes, and he was pretty sure…. “….is this…me?”

Cas nodded. “Of course it is.”

Dean smiled. “Dork.” But his actions belied his words; his fingers ran lightly over the drawing, tracing it with a sort of happy awe.

“Shut up.” But for some reason, that comment had made Cas blush….Dean’s action’s moreso. Dean had no idea why. He flipped the pages, looking through the other drawings.

“Cas, these are _amazing_.” Not all were portraits. Some were still life drawings, landscapes or animals, but it was the portraits that blew him away. And many of them….he looked to Cas, wordless. Cas, who was turning redder by the minute. “These are all of me.”

“So?” Cas wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“You’ve been drawing me for a while now.” His eyes scanned the page, taking in the clothes he was wearing, the date. “……since the day we met?”

It didn’t seem possible for Cas to blush any more than he was. “Yeah.” There was a long silence; at last Castiel spoke up, looking up at Dean. “Aren’t you going to SAY some-“ But he stopped dead.

Dean’s face was practically glowing with happiness. The sketchbook lay in his lap, forgotten, as he took Castiel’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply, putting every bit of love and adoration into it. Cas stared at him in surprise when they separated. “….I…..what,” he managed. Dean laughed.

“Cas…..that’s amazing. _This_ is amazing. Do you know how this feels? I thought I was the only one who had been caught up for so long…..thinking of you since the day we met. I had no idea you felt the same way.”

Cas’ face relaxed, dissolving into a beautiful smile. “No. It wasn’t just you.”

Smiling, Dean kissed Cas again. “You’re _wonderful_.”

“You’re rather spectacular yourself.” Cas grinned as Dean laughed. “Well, now that you’ve seen my pictures….” Cas took the sketchbook out of Dean’s lap, tossing it aside, and flopped back onto the mattress, tugging Dean on top of him. “….can we go back to making out?”

Dean cracked up. “Yea,” he said, snuggling closer. “I suppose we can do that.”

 

**~*~**

 

“Wish you didn’t have to go home.”

Cas smiled, throwing his bag into his car. “Same here. But I still have homework, and so do you.”

Dean made a face. “Why do you have to ruin everything with your logic.”

Cas laughed. “That’s what I’m here for.” He turned to face Dean. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stepping in, he gave Dean a soft kiss.

Dean watched Castiel get into his car. “Call me when you get home. I wanna make sure you make it okay.”

Cas laughed. “Dean…..I live about ten minutes down the road. I’ll be fine.”

“Hey, you never know, what with that shit Prius.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “You’re a laugh riot, Dean.” But he couldn’t help the small smile. “Okay. I’ll call you.”

Dean leaned in the open window, giving Cas a slow, lingering kiss. “I-“ he broke off, flushing, but covered it up with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Miss you already.”

Cas laughed. “Night, Dean.” And he drove off, Dean watching.

Dean stared after the car, watching it pull out of the parking lot. Shit. He had almost let slip and said ‘I love you’. That would have been bad. The last thing he wanted was to scare Castiel away. But how soon was too soon? 

Dean kicked a stray pebble in frustration. If only he had some sort of rough guide to this. Maybe Charlie could help him out.

He looked up, watching the headlights of Cas’ car fade into the distance, and smiled. No matter how much trouble this relationship may give him, how anxious he may get at times, it was all worth it. Because _Cas_ was worth it. And even though he may not be able to say it yet, he was in love. He loved Cas more than he could say.

With thoughts of his boyfriend buoying him up, Dean drove home, already looking forward to the phone call he’d be getting from Cas. They had been apart for less than ten minutes, but that didn’t matter. Already, being in a relationship fit every bad romantic cliché Dean had ever read, where a minute felt like an hour, and he knew it was stupid but he didn’t care. 

So he was going to drive home and get on the phone with his boyfriend. And Sam could make fun of him all he wanted, and he would probably even yell at himself later for being a sap, but none of that was important. He was a man in love. 

That was all that mattered.

 

**~tbc~**


	13. Can't Stop the Attraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _I saw my reflection_  
>  In the glass when we embraced  
> my eyes looked like I had seen a ghost  
> I recognized your face.  
> Your hands felt like the touch of God  
> and I could not let go.  
> Your purity was beautiful,  
> your golden holy glow.  
> Lord, help me.  
> ~'Attraction', Neon Trees

Time passed so quickly now that Dean had Cas. They spent nearly every afternoon together. Dean had insisted on setting up specific “Charlie Days” so that the two of them could spend time together. Cas was allowed along so long as Charlie didn’t mind, but Dean wanted to make sure that he didn’t become one of _those guys_ who started neglecting their friends once they had a boyfriend. So Thursdays belonged to Charlie, though sometimes Cas would come along, and occasionally Benny and Garth. Mondays belonged to the hipster crowd, who seemed uncomfortable with Cas’ newfound friendship with kids that they obviously found completely geeky. The rest of the week Dean and Cas split between the two groups and each other. And of course all of this had to be worked around Dean’s soccer schedule.

Dean still loved soccer, despite it taking up so much time he could be spending with Cas or the others. It was such an amazing sport and working himself to the point of exhaustion every day was so incredibly gratifying. Plus he got to spend time with Garth, who was becoming more and more of a friend every day. The kid was strange but nice, and Dean found himself enjoying the boy’s oddities, and was even growing accustomed to the hugs at the end of each practice. 

Each day after practice, Dean would always go home with Cas, Benny, or Charlie, or, if he wasn’t too tired, they would go out somewhere. Often Garth would tag along. Charlie had a little arcade that she loved. Dean was generally too tired to participate but he loved watching the others play. Charlie was wicked good at Dance Dance Revolution. Cas made the mistake of challenging her once and Dean thought he was going to bust a gut laughing. He himself played skee-ball with Benny, who was a pretty fair hand at most of the games, but for the most part, Dean just sat and watched. 

But more often than not, they would end up back at one of their houses (generally his, so he could keep an eye on Sammy) and sack out in front of the TV with a movie and some popcorn. Movies were one of the few things he spent a lot of money on. Besides his extensive VHS collection, he had a hefty amount of DVDS. He kept them stored in cd cases to cut down on space, other than the few that he REALLY cared about, which were kept on top of his dresser.

Today was a movie day. Dean had taken a hasty shower after practice (he and Cas hadn’t yet had a discussion about Dean showering with the other boys, but he was still uncomfortable with it and was waiting for the subject to come up) and he had driven straight home. He dug through his drawers, searching for a change of clothes. Cas would be there any minute.

He had only made it into a pair of pajama pants when there was a knock on the door. “Ah….come in.”

Cas pushed the door open, eyes widening when he saw the state Dean was in: his hair wet as he stood there, barefoot and shirtless. Cas arched a brow. “ _Well_ , then.”

Dean flushed, hurriedly pulling on a shirt. 

“Oh.” And Castiel sounded exaggeratedly disappointed, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Don’t cover up on _my_ account. I was enjoying the view.”

Dean glared. “Brat.”

Cas just laughed. “You aren’t mad.” He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Did you pick out a movie?”

Dean shook his head, sitting on the bed. “You do it.”

“Okay.” Cas headed over to where the movies were kept, picking up one of the cd cases, but something stopped him. He looked to where Dean kept the few DVDs on his dresser, the special ones, and he moved to look at them. Dean felt his heart beat faster as Cas ran a fingertip along the tops of the cases, looking through the disks, and then his blue eyes widened. “Hey!” Cas turned to Dean, smile lighting up his face. “James Dean!” He pulled out one of the disks, _‘Rebel Without a Cause’_.

Dean’s heart clenched; somehow he managed a nod. “Yea. That….” He struggled to find words. “It was my mom’s favorite film.” He watched the smile fade from Castiel’s face, watched the uncertainty grow there. “She named me after him.” He gave a little laugh. “That’s why I reacted so strangely the first time you called me that. Made me think of her.”

Cas looked stricken. “….Dean….” He moved to Dean’s side, sinking to the bed beside him. “I’m sorry,” he said at last. “I’m so _so_ sorry.”

Dean realized how much he was upsetting Cas; he shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not upset. Especially not with you.”

“But. I didn’t mean it. I never would’ve called you that if I’d known.” Cas was definitely panicking.

“Cas.” Dean grabbed his face, halting whatever train of thought Castiel was about to go off on. “I’m not upset. I never was. It surprised me, but it didn’t _upset_ me. And I don’t mind you calling me that. Anyone else, yea, but you? I like it. Makes me feel good.” He paused, trying to think how to phrase it. “….it’s weird,” he said finally. “But somehow when you say it, it makes me feel connected to both of you. You _and_ her.”

Castiel’s heart broke that much more. That was so amazing, to be compared and connected to Dean’s mother like that. From the short amount of time he knew Dean, he could tell how incredibly important his mother was to him. To have Dean associate their connection to the one he had with his mother? That was _everything_.

“….Dean,” he said softly. He didn’t know what else to say. Dean slipped his hand beneath Castiel’s, slotting their fingers together and giving his hand a squeeze. Cas looked at Dean to find the boy smiling back, not a trace of sadness in those green eyes.

“Cas. Don’t worry. I mean it. And don’t stop calling me that. Seriously. I love it when you do.”

Cas huffed a little laugh. “Okay.” It would take some getting used to now that he knew the backstory behind Dean’s name, knew what the nickname truly meant, but he’d adjust. And he had come up with the nickname on his own….it wasn’t something he’d had to be told. It had been _his_ name for Dean, and would be again. The fact that it was Dean’s mother’s name only made it more special, especially since Dean said he liked Cas using the name, that it made him feel closer to both Cas and his mother when Cas used it. That was special. That was so special. He smiled. “Okay,” he said again.

Dean chuckled. “Dork.”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t deny that.” He reached out, tracing his thumb along Dean’s plump lower lip, that pouty lip that had initially caused him to make the James Dean connection. The color rose slightly in Dean’s cheeks and he kissed Castiel’s thumb, eliciting a laugh. “Well…” Cas glanced down at the movie that still sat in his lap. “….would you want to watch it?” His voice was full of uncertainty. “It’s fine if you don’t want to, I just….I’ve never seen it.”

“WHAT?!” Dean couldn’t sound any more horrified. Cas nearly laughed at the tone of his voice, and DID laugh when he saw the matching expression on Dean’s face. “You haven’t?”

Cas shook his head. “Never seen any James Dean film.”

Dean just stared at Cas, finally shaking his head. “Why am I dating you?” He rose from the bed, grabbing the film and heading to the TV. “Uncultured swine.”

Cas burst into laughter. “Hey!”

Dean ignored him, simply shaking his head as he muttered to himself, “Hasn’t seen a James Dean film…” Disk in the player, Dean headed back to the bed.

Cas couldn’t stop laughing. “Hey, it’s not like he made many.”

Dean let out an agonized groan, flopping onto the bed. “Don’t remind me! Greatest loss to Hollywood, when he died.” He turned a steely glare in Castiel’s direction. “But only making three films is still no excuse for never having seen one.”

“Okay, okay, I’m an uncultured swine! I apologize.”

Dean nodded, seemingly satisfied. “You’re forgiven.”

Cas shook his head, grinning. “You’re such an ass.” Laying back, he tugged at Dean’s arm. “C’mere.”

Dean complied, curling up so his head was resting on Castiel’s chest, Cas’ arms wrapped around him. “Get ready to witness one of the greatest films ever made, with one of the best bits of acting ever.” 

“I’m ready.” 

“No you’re not,” Dean said. “I’ve seen this movie more times than I can count and I’m STILL not ready.”

Cas laughed. “Okay, then. As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Damn straight.” He could feel the chuckle rumbling in Cas’ chest, right under his cheek. It felt _wonderful_. He knew that were it most any other film, he could have fallen asleep. Cas’ arms were so comfortable, his touch so warm, and feeling that laughter roll through him? It all felt so Goddamn amazing. It felt like home.

As it was, he snuggled closer, inhaling the scent that he’d come to know so well, the smell that was pure Cas, and settled in to watch his favorite film of all time. And somehow, as the film went on, Dean could impossibly feel the two of them grow closer and closer, their spirits entwining as surely as the hands they clasped together on Castiel’s chest. He wondered if Castiel could feel it too, when suddenly lips brushed his forehead in a gentle kiss, and he looked up at Cas in surprise. Blue eyes smiled down at him.

“Cas…” he whispered. Cas hushed him softly.

“Watch the movie,” he murmured. 

So Dean turned his attention back to the screen, watching as James Dean spoke, saying _“we’re not going to be lonely anymore.”_ And at that moment, for the first time in his life, he felt like those words might include someone like him.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be around for a few days because I'm working staff for my friend's convention, 'RuffleCon'. It's devoted to alternative fashion, like lolita and steampunk. I'm only telling you because as I'm sure you've noticed, I try to post approximately every 3 days, but I never post unless the next chapter is finished, and in this case that won't be done. So I'm not sure how long until it's posted. Hopefully soon. But I just wanted to give you all a heads-up. Cuz I love you.^^ <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Nothing you could do_  
>  could ever stop this feeling;  
> Nothing in the world  
> could ever shake us up.  
> We've got all the stuff to  
> break all of the rules.  
> We've got all the stuff  
> to mess all of you up.  
> We've got a mad, mad love.  
> ~Mad Love, Neon Trees
> 
> (We've got a bit of a time jump, here. It's gone from mid/late September to just before Halloween.)

“You’re so meeeeaaan!”

Dean tried to suppress a grin, to no avail. “Stop whining. It’s not sexy.”

“Fine. I’ll pout.” Cas did so. Dean did his best not to look but he couldn’t help it; his eyes were drawn to Cas, to that pout, and he groaned, slamming his locker.

“I hate you.”

“You do not. You _love_ my pouts.”

“Hate them.”

“Only cuz they’re super sexy and get me my way.”

“Not this time.”

“Deeaan!” Cas whined again. Dean just laughed.

“Cas, I’m not telling you what I’m being for Halloween!”

Cas pouted again. “So mean.” 

“You’re a big boy. I think you’ll survive three more days.”

If anything, the pout became even _more_ exaggerated. “Fine, then. I’m not gonna tell you what I’M being.”

“Cas…..you weren’t going to tell me ANYWAY.”

“…….that’s beside the point.”

Dean shook his head, grinning. “ _Such_ an ass.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re lucky I love you.” Cas froze as he realized what he had just said, eyes wide. Dean stared back at him, face much the same.

“…I……what?” he managed. Cas shook his head rapidly.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I….class. You have class. We both have class. I’ll see you after class, yeah? Lunch. Later.” And with that he turned away so fast he tripped over his own feet, stumbling down the hall. Dean stared after him long after he’d gone, unable to move until the bell rang, stirring him from his thoughts.

 

**~*~**

 

Charlie was silent for a long few minutes after Dean told her what had happened. Dean waited anxiously, needing input. “Well…..the way he said it….that could mean a lot of things. But the way you told me he reacted…..the panic, the running away……that sounds to me like someone in love who’s afraid their feelings aren’t reciprocated.”

Dean felt an inward sigh of relief and yet his body was still tense, anxious. “You think?”

Charlie nodded. “Of course I can’t be sure, so don’t take my word on it,” she added quickly. “But honestly, I’m positive that he loves you. It’s clear to see in the way he looks at you, the way you two interact. And I know _you_ love _him_.”

Dean nodded. “So…” He picked at the corner of his book, nervous. “….do you think I should tell him?”

Charlie looked almost apologetic. “No one can tell you what to do except you.” Dean let out an aggravated sigh. “I’m sorry, hun. But it’s really up to you. There’s no guidebook for this stuff.”

“There _should_ be,” Dean mumbled. Charlie chuckled.

“Yeah, there should.” 

Dean was silent and Charlie gave him his space, not speaking to him, just letting him think. It was almost the end of class before Dean spoke up again. “Okay.”

She cocked her head. “Okay?”

Dean nodded. “I’m gonna tell him.”

Charlie smiled, hugging Dean. “Atta boy.”

He winced. “Charlie…” She was squeezing all the air out of him. “Can’t breathe.”

“Oh! Sorry.” She released him. “Just a little excited.”

“I can tell.” The bell rang to signal the end of class, and they began gathering their books to head to history. “You know, it verges on ridiculous how involved in our relationship you are.”

Charlie just grinned. “Hey, what can I say? You guys are my OTP.”

Dean burst into laughter. “Seriously? Even more than Jaimie Lannister and Brienne of Tarth?”

“More than Jaimie and Brienne.”

“What about Eowyn and Faramir?”

“More than Eowyn and Faramir.”

Dean pondered for a minute. “…..Aragorn and Legolas?” he challenged.

Charlie laughed. “More than Aragorn and Legolas.”

“ _Wow_.” That was a big one. Still, there was one more that was even bigger. “……what about Rose Tyler and the Doctor?”

Charlie nodded solemnly. “Even more than Rose and the Doctor.”

“ _Damn_.” To anyone else, this conversation would seem trivial and downright ridiculous, but as a geek himself, Dean understood how close you could become to these characters, especially when you didn’t have many friends and these books and movies were all you’d ever really had. So for Charlie to ship Dean and Cas more than her crowd of fantasy characters? That was pretty big. 

“I know, right?” Charlie smiled. “That alone should tell you that what you two have is really damn special.”

Dean smiled back at her. “Thanks, Charlie,” he said softly.

She gently punched his shoulder. “No problem, Winchester.”

He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders. “So….I’ll see him at lunch. I can tell him there.” Already the thought was making Dean’s stomach turn nervous flip flops. As much as he wanted to do this, he was still afraid. Well, lunch was in about an hour. He’d be seeing Cas then and could confess everything….all the feelings that had been tearing him apart for over a month now. And hopefully, Cas returned them.

 

**~*~**

 

Cas wasn’t waiting when Dean got out of shop. He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Maybe it’s nothing_ , he told himself. Cas couldn’t _always_ wait for him. He tried to ignore the little voice pointing out that Cas DID always wait, and followed Benny to the cafeteria, each step feeling heavy.

It got worse. As they approached the table, he saw Charlie looking at him with a stricken expression. Nearing the table, he saw why. Cas wasn’t there. Dean looked around, scanning the room, but there was no sight of that messy brown hair. His heart was pounding. What happened? Cas had clearly freaked out after what had happened that morning, but was it because he _meant_ the words or because he _didn’t_? Either way, Dean needed to find out. Cas may not be there, but Dean had a pretty good idea where he could find him.

He patted Charlie’s shoulder, leaning in to murmur “I think I may know where he is.” She nodded, seemingly placated by his words. Dean left the room, heading straight out the back doors and into the courtyard.

It was a rather small courtyard, but there was a tiny grove of trees on the edge. That was where they usually sat when they ate outside, and Dean knew that was where he would find Cas.

Sure enough, there he was, sitting with his back against a tree, hunched over with his arms folded across his knees, chin resting on them. Dean didn’t know if Cas could have looked more forlorn had he tried, and he wasn’t sure if he should feel amused or sad. 

A twig cracked underfoot as he moved closer and Cas’ head snapped up, wide eyes looking at Dean. Dean managed a small smile. “Hey, Cas.” Cas said nothing, simply stared at Dean. Dean wondered if Cas COULD say anything. He looked scared, and it gave Dean the first stirrings of hope. If Cas was scared, it was much more likely that he was afraid Dean didn’t share his feelings than that he didn’t actually feel them.

Dean stopped when he was beside Cas. “Mind if I join you?” He didn’t wait for an answer, sitting down beside Cas. There was a long moment’s silence. Cas was picking at the edge of his shoe where the rubber was beginning to peel.

“So,” Dean finally broke the silence. His heart was pounding and he was shaking with how nervous he felt but he was determined to go through with this. “Did you mean what you said this morning?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But there was a slight tremor to Cas’ voice.

“About loving me.”

“What?” Cas spoke with an air of surprise. “No. No!” Castiel’s voice was full of laughter and bravado, but it was all so ridiculously fake and blustery that Dean wanted to laugh with relief. Cas was lying. He had to be. That still didn’t stop Dean’s hands from shaking.

“Oh. That’s a shame.” Cas still wasn’t looking at him, but Dean didn’t care; he reached out and took Cas’ hand, managing to link their fingers despite the shaking of his hands. “Because _I_ love _you_.”

_That_ got Cas’ attention and his head shot up, wide eyes staring at Dean, mouth agape. Dean smiled, though he was still nervous. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I just wanted you to know.” Cas was still silent, just staring. Dean began to fidget beneath that gaze, growing uncomfortable. But then he realized that, despite the shock still there, Castiel’s face was softening.

“You love me,” Cas breathed. Dean felt his heart leap. That shock was dissolving now into the most beautiful smile Dean had ever seen. “You really love me.”

Dean could feel his own smile growing in return; he nodded. “I really really do.”

Then Cas was on him, fingers tangling in Dean’s shirtfront as he pulled Dean in for a kiss. He was breathless when they separated, those blue eyes looking deeply into Dean’s. “You….” he seemed completely overwhelmed. “I love you. I love you _so much_.”

Dean’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and this time for a completely different reason than nerves. He pulled Cas close, a hand tangling in that thick brown hair as he kissed him once more. But this time it seemed as if Cas were completely unwilling to let him go, kissing him again and again. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas said in between kisses. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Which part?” Dean managed to squeeze out around Castiel’s lips. “Because if it’s the part you said this morning, you have nothing to apologize for.”

Cas actually pulled away, cheeks flushing. “No. I mean…..I shouldn’t have lied. Shouldn’t have told you I didn’t mean it. I was just so scared you didn’t feel the same way.”

Dean shook his head. “Cas. I’ve been in love with you almost since the beginning. I think I fell in love with you the first week I knew you.”

Cas’ face melted into another brilliant smile at that. “Really?”

Dean nodded, then he paused. “No….you know what? I remember the exact moment.” Cas looked intrigued. “It was when Meg started yelling at me for calling you ‘Cas’ and you told her you liked me more than her and invited Charlie and Benny to join us outside for lunch. And at that point you barely knew Charlie and I KNOW you didn’t like Benny.”

Cas flushed crimson at that. “I didn’t _dis_ like him,” he mumbled. Dean grinned.

“Okay. You were jealous of him.”

Cas glared. “That makes you WAY happier than it should.” If anything, Dean’s smile grew; he nodded, grinning.

“Oh yea.”

Cas shook his head but then it seemed as if Dean’s words finally sank in and he smiled. “That long? Really?”

Dean nodded. “Yea. That’s when it really hit me, anyway. The fact that you stood up for me and my friends like that. You were so sweet. And it wasn’t just that, it was a lot of things. Wanting to carry my books….being jealous of Benny, which I SO didn’t understand at the time….actually wanting to know about my life and freaking holding me while I had a pathetic nervous breakdown in the coffee shop…”

“It was NOT pathetic-” Cas began, but Dean shushed him.

“Taking me out to dinner…. _Jesus_ , Cas, I could go on _forever_. You came to watch my soccer tryouts, you draw pictures of me, and you freaking read poetry to me in class. And that’s not touching on the fact that you actually care enough to ask questions about my mom.”

Cas was blushing by now. “Okay, I get the point,” he mumbled.

Dean grinned. “How do you like a taste of your own medicine?”

Cas looked confused. “Taste of my own medicine?”

“Yea. You’re always going off on me about how I’m AMAZING and I do THIS and THAT and it’s just sooooo INCREDIBLE and you never listen when I tell you to shut up. So tell me….how do YOU like it?”

Cas gave Dean an evil look. “Not very much.”

Dean was smiling smugly. “Good.”

“Brat.”

Dean smiled. “So yea. I just….” He glanced down at his feet, cheeks flushing slightly. “I wanted to tell you before, you know. So many times.”

“Tell me?”

The pink in Dean’s cheeks darkened. “That I loved you. Hell, I nearly told you the first time you came over my house.”

Cas was completely taken aback. “Are you serious?” Dean nodded.

“Yea. When you were leaving that night, it started to slip out, but I caught myself just in time.”

“Caught yourself?” Cas echoed.

“Yea. I mean-” Dean broke off. “I told you, I’ve never done this before.” He was mumbling. “I don’t know how soon is too soon to say I love you, but I’m pretty positive that three weeks is too soon.”

“ _Three weeks?_ ” 

Dean winced at the tone of Cas’ voice. “I know, I know! I just said that I know it’s too soon.” But Cas was shaking his head, and his eyes were wide, but he was smiling.

“No. I love it. I can’t believe you loved me that long. Seriously? You seriously loved me that long?”

Dean nodded, his cheeks burning. “I really did.”

Cas was smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt. “Wow.” His smile was one of wonder, as if he couldn’t believe what Dean was telling him. “I can’t believe it.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile back. “Well…..you have to. Cuz it’s true. Why,” he asked at last, “how long have you loved me?” He was afraid of the answer. On one hand he knew it didn’t matter, but on the other, he knew that it would matter no matter what.

Cas looked pensive, taking his time to think about it. “You know, I really don’t know.” Then he smiled. “In a way, I think I loved you from the moment I met you at that tag sale.” Dean felt his heart skip a beat. “That scarf, the way you spoke to Sam….and then watching you at school, seeing how eccentric you are. I definitely didn’t _realize_ I loved you, but I think I loved you all along.”

Dean’s heart was pounding fit to burst; he grabbed Castiel’s shirtfront and yanked him forward into a hard kiss. “I love you,” he said breathlessly.

Cas laughed. “I love you, too.”

The bell rang, breaking the moment. Cas looked from the building back at Dean. “….I REALLY don’t want to go back to class.”

“Me neither.”

Cas contemplated Dean for a minute, head cocked in that way that drove Dean crazy with how adorable it was. “……you wanna cut?” he asked at last.

Dean smiled. “I’d love to.” He hesitated. “Gotta be back in time to pick up Sammy.”

Cas nodded. “Something quick, then. Maybe just go into town, walk around, look at the shops for a bit? I actually think Klekolo might be serving hot cider right now.”

Dean smiled. “That sounds _perfect_.” He rose, offering a hand to help Cas up, tugging the slightly shorter boy to his feet and they headed off.

“So…” there was a teasing tone plain in Cas’ voice. “....three weeks, huh?”

“Shut up!”

“That’s a SUPER long time.”

“I said SHUT UP, Cas!”

Laughter echoed behind them as they snuck off school property, leaves blowing in their wake in the crisp autumn air.

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SO sorry it took so long to post this. I actually didn't get on the computer til yesterday because I am SUPER sick. They took me in for testing and apparently I've got some fucked up eye issue which is giving me mad vertigo and shakes, and I have to go see my neurologist (I have epilepsy) because I'm having facial twitches and they don't know what THAT'S about. Cept I can't get in til the end of December. So hopefully that's not anything serious. Yay.
> 
> Anyway, I apologize again, and I hope this chapter is worth it. The next one has a finished first draft, so hopefully it won't be nearly as long before that's posted. Even though I'm not supposed to be on the computer. I'm naughty lol. :P


	15. Coursing Through Our Bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you give that look to me  
> I better look back carefully  
> ‘cause this is trouble, yeah this is trouble.  
> ~Sleeping With a Friend, Neon Trees

Dean shut the door to the Impala somewhat harder than he’d meant to and winced; immediately he ran a gentle hand over it. “Sorry, baby,” he murmured. He knew that were Cas there with him, he would be rolling his eyes, regarding Dean with that fond look he got whenever he thought Dean was being an enormous dork. So basically, all the time.

The thought made Dean smile. Thinking of Cas somewhat eased the butterflies in his stomach. It wasn’t like going to a party at Bela’s made him _nervous_ ; on the contrary, he was actually finding himself liking Bela more and more each day. She was the only one of the hipster kids he really got along with. She DID have a snobbish air about her that could still raise his hackles at times, but she was fun. Still, heading there by himself was unsettling. He had expected to have Cas at his side, but the other boy had claimed to have a few things to finish up, and promised to meet him there. 

Dean adjusted the collar of his jacket, looking up at the house, and he let out a low whistle. He had never been to Bela’s house before, but if he had thought _Cas’_ house was big…..well, it had nothing on the Talbot residence. Obviously he’d been right to assume that Bela came from money.

The porch was decorated in traditional Halloween fashion with jack-o-lanterns and haybarrels, but this time it was different. This time it was obvious that this was the work of a professional hand. Halloween decorations were always meant to look messy and scary and this did, but somehow it was clear that this was _styled_ to look that way, not thrown together by a family on a night of fun. Dean felt a pang in his chest at that. From the time he’d spent with Bela, he got the impression that, despite her hatred of getting her hands dirty, she would probably enjoy some family time.

Shoving the thoughts aside, he gave a few hard raps on the door. Even with the noise of music coming from inside, his knock was almost immediately answered by Bela herself. “Dean!” She was smiling, legitimately happy to see him. Her eyes raked over his costume and she laughed. “I _love_ it!” 

“Thanks.” He let himself be ushered inside, his eyes taking in her costume. She was in an amazingly historically accurate gown that made his eyes widen.

“Is that…..are you one of Dracula’s brides?”

Her smile grew, practically setting her face aglow. “I’m surprised that you guessed. Yes. I’ve always had a thing for Bela Lugosi.” She smiled. “I suppose it’s the name.”

“I can understand that.” After all, he had his James Dean obsession (though a lot of that had to do with his mother….a love handed down from generation to generation.) 

Bela glanced out the door behind him. “No Castiel?”

“He’s coming separately. Had a few things to finish up.” She cocked a brow at him; he shrugged. “Wouldn’t tell me.”

“Oooh….intrigue.” Her tone made him laugh. Smiling, she gave him a little shove towards the other room. “Go. Mingle. Get yourself something to drink.”

“Okay, okay, I will!” And Dean headed down the hallway towards the laughter, steeling himself for whatever was to come.

 

**~*~**

 

“Dean!”

The sound of his own name shook Dean, catching his attention. He had been wandering aimlessly for almost an hour now. He didn’t know at least half the people at the party….maybe more. Many of them he recognized from school but some were clearly not Chitaqua High students. Where the hell did Bela FIND these people?

“Dean!”

Looking around, he finally located the source of that so-familiar voice: Charlie was waving at him as she attempted to break through the throng of people. Finally, she succeeded. “Hi!”

“Hey!” Bela and Charlie had actually begun hitting it off, despite that uptightness Bela still clung to and Charlie’s total lack of inhibitions, and somehow Charlie had found herself invited to what was probably the most exclusive party of the year. Dean gave her a tight hug. “You came!” 

“Of course I did!” There was a long moment of silence between the two, then Charlie patted Dean’s shoulder awkwardly. “Dean…..”

“Mm?”

“You wanna let me go?”

“Oh. Yea okay.” He released her. She arched a brow at him. He simply smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Same.” But she was still looking at him funny. Then she glanced down at the cup in his hand. “….Dean….Dean, are you drinking?”

He flushed. “Maybe a little.”

She looked thoroughly surprised, and a little bit amused. “So this….” She gestured up and down, taking in all of him. “This is you drunk.”

“This is me TIPSY,” he corrected. Charlie shook her head, clearly struggling not to laugh.

“You are such a dork. Why’re you drinking?”

If anything, the flush in his cheeks grew. “Isn’t that what teenagers do at parties?” he answered lamely. “Get wasted?” But Charlie saw through that answer instantly, eyes narrowing.

“Dean,” she said warningly. He groaned.

“Okay fine! Fine!” He glanced around at all the people around them. “C’mere.” And grabbing the front of her dress, he pulled her along with him, ignoring her protests.

“Dean, we’re in the middle of a huge crowd; no one is going to hear you!” But Dean didn’t stop until they were in a hallway, empty but for a pair of kids making out. Even then, he leaned in to whisper.

“I’m gonna sleep with Cas tonight.”

Charlie’s eyes couldn’t have gotten any bigger; she let out a little ‘eep!’ and her hands flew up to cover her mouth, dropping her own cup of spiked punch in the process. “Dean!”

“Shh!” Tipsy Dean apparently couldn’t figure out that no one was going to hear them over the blasting music.

“Dean, that’s….oh my God!” Charlie was overcome. Then she frowned. “But why do you need to be drunk to do that?”

Dean shook his head. “Not _drunk_. I don’t want to be DRUNK. Believe me, I want to remember _every minute_. I just…..” He looked away, silent for a long time as his cheeks burned red. “I’m nervous,” he said at last. “I’ve never done this before.”

Maybe Charlie’s eyes COULD get bigger. “You’ve never had SEX before?!”

“Oh my God SHUT UP!” Dean looked like he was about to die of embarrassment. “NO! I mean yes. I mean no. I mean….AARGH!” He scrubbed at his face and there was a long moment of silence where the only sound was the thrumming of base from the other room. Finally he spoke up. “I’ve had sex before. Not with a guy, so that’s part of it. Just with girls. But I’ve never had sex with anyone I love. And I mean…..if it’s not with someone you love…..well, that’s not real sex, is it?” He was flushing again, turning redder and redder as he spoke. “It’ll only be real sex when it’s with someone I care about. So yea. I guess I DO consider myself a virgin.”

Charlie stared. “Dean…” she said at last. “That….” He braced himself. He knew Charlie would never make fun of him, but he still had no idea what was coming. “…..is TOTALLY romantic!”

His head shot up to look at her again, eyes wide. Of all the things he was expecting, this was not it. “What?!”

“Oh my God, Dean, how has no one snatched you up before now? Seriously, I’m a _lesbian_ and I STILL think you’re the whole package. Well…..aside from HAVING a package,” she amended. “So I guess you’re about 90% perfect in my eyes. But you’re funny, and sweet, and sexy, and holy shit, this whole attitude on sex and love? Goddammit, Dean. About 80% of the girls in the world? If they knew this, they’d want to marry you on the spot.”

Dean was blushing madly, but he was smiling despite himself. “80%, huh.”

“Yeah. The rest of them are sluts or commitment-phobes. Or lesbians."

Dean burst into laughter; he couldn’t help it. “Oh yea?” Charlie nodded. After a moment, Dean spoke up hesitantly. “What about the boys?”

“Ah.” Charlie paused. “See, I can’t speak as easily for them because I’m not one.” She smiled. “But Cas is in whichever percentage would want to marry you.”

Dean’s heart did that stupid flutter it always seemed to do around Cas. “You think?”

“I _know_.” Charlie’s smile grew at the sight of how happy Dean looked. “So, the spiked punch, then?”

“Just trying to calm myself down.”

Charlie nodded. “Okay. Just…..not too much, okay?”

Dean shook his head. “You think I _want_ to be oblivious for my first time with Cas? I don’t think so.”

“Okay, okay, good. Cuz you gotta remember also, you’re driving.”

“I know! Geez, Charlie.” Dean took a real good look at her for the first time, grinning. “Nice costume, by the way.”

Charlie blushed….honest to God _blushed_. “Thanks.” She was dressed as Merida from Disney’s ‘ _Brave_ ’, and she looked incredible.

“Seriously. How long did it take you to get your hair like that?”

“Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

Dean’s pocket buzzed and he pulled his phone out. _Where r u?_ “It’s Cas.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up. “Let’s find him!”

Dean wrote back. _Stay in the front entry. Me & Charlie will be right there._ He couldn’t stand texting abbreviations, but no matter how much he worked on Cas, he couldn’t get him to stop.

It took several minutes and a lot of fighting (Dean thought Charlie may have blackened some guy’s eye) but they finally made their way to the entryway and there he was waiting. Cas was wearing pretty normal clothing but he appeared to have wings on.

“Hey, Cas.”

Cas’ face lit up when he saw Dean. “OH MY GOD!” Dean was once again bright red. “OH MY GOD! You look _AMAZING!_ ”

“It’s not like it’s a hard costume,” Dean mumbled. He was wearing James Dean’s costume from ‘Rebel Without a Cause’: the blue jeans, white t-shirt, and infamous red jacket. It was immediately recognizable but not hard to put together. Still, Cas clearly loved it.

“Shut up. Shut up I _love_ it.” 

Dean resisted the urge to kiss Cas; he was so adorably in love with Dean’s costume. “Okay, okay. Thank you.” He took a step back, taking in Cas’ entire costume and arching a brow. “Are you an angel?”

"No." Cas turned so that Dean could get a better look at the wings. "I'm the _Diction_ Fairy."

Dean stared. Each wing was made of page after page of dictionary paper, words and their definitions carefully cut and meticulously folded into shape. "....Cas...." he looked up, meeting Cas' eyes, and burst out laughing. "What the hell!"

"Shut up. You think it’s hilarious and witty and you know it." Cas' voice was smug. Dean grinned.

"I do. Just...." his fingertips traced the edges of the wings. They were so detailed. "When the hell did you have the time to DO this?"

Cas nodded his head in Charlie's direction. The redhead was grinning. "Charlie helped me. We worked on it every day while you were at soccer practice."

Dean looked at Charlie, at Cas. “You sneaky little bastards.” The two of them both laughed.

“Hey, it’s all in honor of your love of English. You big genius, you."

“Oh my God, shut up.” Dean shook his head, smiling. " _Damn_."

"What."

"Nothing, just." He touched the wings again. "It really is amazing." Cas preened; Dean smiled. "Sure beats the hell out of MY costume."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Hey! _No_. Do NOT say that! You look AMAZING!"

The words warmed Dean and he couldn't help a small smile. "Still not original, like yours."

"Pfft." Cas waved a dismissive hand. "Who cares. You look Goddamn sexy as hell. Sexier than the REAL James Dean."

Dean let his eyes go wide in horror. "SACRILEGE!" Cas just laughed. Dean touched the wings again; he couldn’t STOP touching them. “How did you even DRIVE in these?”

“Gabriel drove me.”

“Oh?” Dean arched a brow. “Planning on getting a ride home, are we?”

Cas smiled one of his most flirtatious smiles. “Maybe.”

That sent a little flutter through Dean’s stomach. “Well. I think we can arrange that.” His mouth felt dry. His heart was beginning to pound nervously again. “Hey, let’s get a drink, yea?”

“Okay.'

Dean took Cas’ hand under the guise of leading him through the crowd, heading towards the table of drinks. He could definitely use another one. 

 

**~*~**

 

“Dean?”

Dean snapped to attention, aware that Cas had just said something. “Hmm?” Those blue eyes were looking at him with concern.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Fine. I’m fine.” _Except for the part where the room is slightly wobbly and I’m having a ridiculously hard time keeping my hands to myself._ Dear God, Cas was _right there_ and it was such a big crowd. Dean’s head was comfortably fuzzy and he was having a hard time reminding himself that there really could be a big deal of harm in pulling his boyfriend close and pressing their bodies together, letting his hands travel that gorgeous body and oh God his mind was wandering again.

Cas was still watching him with concern in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yea. Yea I’m sure. Can we go home soon?”

“I-” But Cas had barely gotten the one word out before Dean was speaking again, leaning in to whisper in Cas’ ear.

“I wanna take you home with me. Want you to stay at my place tonight. Stay with me, in my bed. Will you come home with me? Will you?”

Cas was staring at Dean, eyes wide; he nodded dumbly, unable to find words. “I…..yes. Yes.”

“Well, isn’t this sweet?”

Dean turned, already glowering. He didn’t care who had interrupted them; they had still interrupted. He wanted Cas and he wanted him bad, and this person had infringed upon that.

Not person. _People_. Meg, Ruby and Lucas. Lucas was clearly the one who had spoken, a smirk on his face. Meg looked furious to see Dean and Cas so close, to see Dean whispering in Cas’ ear. Apparently she had missed the memo where they were now best friends (as far as everyone knew, that was as close as it had gotten).

Dean looked Lucas up and down. “Okay…..now YOU’RE an angel.” Because that was the only possible thing Lucas could be dressed as. “That’s literally the _last thing_ I would expect you to dress as.”

“Oh?” Lucas arched a brow.

“Yea. I would’ve pegged you more as a Satan type.”

“Well, remember, Lucifer WAS an angel.”

Dean stared. “Yea, it’d figure that’s what you would take from that story.” He looked to Meg, who was wearing devil horns. “Now THAT costume is more accurate.” She scowled at him; he ignored it. And Ruby…. “…..what the hell are YOU supposed to be? A hooker?” Because that was all he could gather from the fishnets, high heeled knee high boots, and a matching pleather crop top and skirt that barely covered her ass.

She shrugged. “No. I’m not anything, really. I just bought this last month and wanted an excuse to wear it.”

“…….oookay,” he said slowly. “Um, well…I think we have to-” But then his eye was caught by a head of golden blonde hair across the room.

Jo was there. JO. Fourteen year old Jo. Without another word he shoved his way into the crowd. He was dimly aware of Cas behind him making their excuses to the three friends and then a hand catching the back of his jacket, and some corner of his mind vaguely hoped that Cas could keep up despite the crowd, but it was all overwhelmed by the big brother protectiveness. He had been spending more time at the Harvelle house and Jo truly had become a little sister to him; she even called him her brother now. There was no way he was letting her stay at a party like this.

Jo looked surprised to see him, but happy. “Dean!” All smiles, she hugged him. “Hi!”

He pushed her off him, holding her at arm’s length. “Don’t ‘hi’ me. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Um, I was invited?”

He shook his head. “Not by Bela. I know for a fact she didn’t invite anyone younger than senior year.”

“No. I have a date.”

A date? He was gonna kill him. Whoever this guy was, Dean was gonna kill him. “Who. Who is he?” His eyes were already scanning the crowd, even though he had no idea what the guy looked like.

“Relax. He ditched me shortly after getting here.”

That made Dean’s blood boil just as much. Someone takes his little sister out, they don’t ditch on her. ESPECIALLY at a party she shouldn’t have been at in the first place, a party with alcohol and kids four years her senior.

He took her arm. “Okay, Joanna Beth, fun’s over. We’re going home.” 

She wrenched away. “What?!”

Simultaneously Cas said “Dean, you’re really not in a state to be driving anywhere.” Dean ignored him. One problem at a time.

“Jo, you shouldn’t even be here in the first place. I'm your big brother, I'm looking out for you. You're too young to be drinking." 

Jo looked totally amused at his words. "First of all I'm not. Secondly,” and her eyes travelled over him, taking in his drunken state, “you're not exactly making a great case right now." 

“That’s different! I’m seventeen!”

“Dean…” Cas’ hands were on Dean’s shoulders now, trying to calm Dean down, when suddenly Charlie was there. 

“Hey, Cas, I’ll take it from here.” Cas looked at her and at Dean, clearly concerned, but Charlie just smiled. “You have your hands full with Dean.”

“Hey!” Dean sounded indignant. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”

Cas couldn’t help a quiet snort. “Come on, Dean.” He gently rubbed Dean’s shoulder as he tried to guide him away from Jo. Dean didn’t budge, simply staring at the blonde, who met his gaze with a stubbornness so equal that Cas was surprised they weren’t related by blood. “Hey,” he said softly. “Charlie will take care of her.” He felt Dean relax, tension easing from his shoulders, and he let himself be guided towards the door. As they left, he could distantly hear Charlie say “nice costume,” as she admired Jo’s Alice in Wonderland getup. 

Once outside, Cas held out his hand. “Keys.”

Dean stared, and for a moment Cas was afraid that he was going to refuse and the two would be stuck there all night. The impala was Dean’s baby, after all. But then Dean fished in his pocket and withdrew the keys, handing them over with a sigh.

“You’re lucky,” he said, sliding into the car. “NO one drives baby. NO ONE.”

Cas smiled. “Then I suppose I’m lucky you love me.”

Dean glanced his way and a smile quirked up the corners of his mouth. “Yea. I really fucking do.” He was silent for a moment, then “show you just how much when we get home.”

Cas’ stomach flip-flopped; he felt heat rushing through him. He had no idea what Dean had in mind but from that tone of voice, he knew it couldn’t be anything but wonderful. Gunning the car, he drove off towards the Winchester’s.

 

**~*~**

 

The house was dark when they arrived. “Is anyone home?” Cas kept his voice low as he spoke, not wanting to disturb anyone were they there.

“Sammy.” Dean kicked off his sneakers. “He had a party but I told him not to stay out late. And I’m sure dad’s at the bar still.” He moved closer, hands sliding up Cas’ shirtfront, tracing the straps holding the wings on. “How do we remove these masterpieces without damaging them?”

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/halloween%20comissionfinal_zpsbib61qyi.png.html)

Cas chuckled, carefully undoing the clasps that held them on and, sliding out of them, gently set them on the table. “Better?” he asked, but the word had barely left his mouth before Dean was on him, kissing him hard and deep. It was surprising, but he wasn’t about to object, not even as he found himself being pulled backwards down the hall towards Dean’s room, the door kicked shut behind them.

He shoved the red jacket off Dean’s shoulders, hearing it pool on the floor, but things suddenly leapt into high gear as he felt Dean working at his belt buckle. He put his hands over Dean’s, halting him.

“Dean, what are you doing.” They hadn’t even gone _close_ to that far. God, he still had no idea what the furthest was that Dean had ever gone so he had been taking it slow, as much as he had been dying to do otherwise, to get his mouth on all that smooth, hot skin. He still hadn’t gotten Dean out of his shirt, let alone his pants, and now Dean was trying to take _Cas’_ pants off?

Dean DID stop though, hands sliding up Cas’ chest to wrap around his neck, kissing him. He trailed kisses along Castiel’s jaw, nipping here and there, and when their cheeks pressed together Cas could feel the blush on Dean’s face as the boy murmured “I want you to be my first.” 

Cas felt his heart skip at the words, then start pounding, felt his stomach plummet straight to his shoes. Dean….Dean was a virgin? That……holy shit. He was a virgin and he was entrusting that moment to Cas. That was amazing. It was _beyond_ amazing. But this? To go into it like this, rushing into the moment before they had gone through any of the other steps, not to mention doing it drunk? Cas couldn’t do that. _Especially_ not to Dean.

He managed to extricate himself, gently but firmly removing Dean's arms from around his neck. "No, Dean. Not tonight. Not like this." 

It was impossible to miss the look of hurt that flashed across Dean's face, but it was quickly replaced with a facade of angry indifference. "Well fine then. If you don't want me, you can just leave."

It was easy to see how much he had hurt Dean. Cas took a step forward, reaching for the boy. "Dean-"

"I said leave."

Cas felt his world crumbling. All he had wanted was to make this special for Dean and somehow he had created this huge misunderstanding. He knew that it was because Dean was drunk and that it could all be fixed later when he had sobered up, but that knowledge didn’t make it hurt any less. Cas let his hand settle on Dean’s shoulder, despite the way Dean flinched and tried to shrug him off. “Call me when you get up tomorrow. Or text me if you’d rather.” He didn’t know how much he could push for, how angry Dean would still be. Turning away, he left, pausing in the doorway. “I love you.” Dean was silent, back still turned, and Cas’ heart ached. He shut the door behind him, leaning back against it, eyes shut as he struggled to catch a breath; he was beginning to have a panic attack, even though he knew this could all be worked out.

When he opened his eyes, Sam was there, and he did not look at all happy. “Hello, Sam.”

Those hazel eyes were narrowed. “Castiel.”

“Um…..Dean’s a little drunk.” He could see that Sam was about ready to take a swing at him so he spoke up hurriedly “not my doing. But he’s feeling a little bit…..affectionate. And I don’t want to take advantage. So he’s not in a very good mood at the moment.” 

Sam looked a bit disturbed that Castiel was sharing this information with him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because he’ll most likely be incredibly upset with me tomorrow and I think you should know why. He thinks I’m upset with him or don’t care for him and that’s not it. I just…..” he looked at the floor. “…..not while he’s drunk,” he said softly. It was all so overwhelming how much it hurt, how much he wanted to rush back into that room and take Dean in his arms. And on top of the emotional side of things, how much he cared for Dean and wanted to let Dean see that love, feel that love, Cas’ body was still ramped into overdrive. He felt on fire and he was so hard it was painful. He prayed Sam didn’t notice. But none of this mattered….not while Dean was in there hurting. Cas shook his head. “I won’t take advantage of him like that.”

When he looked back up, the expression on Sam’s face had changed to one of approval. “Okay,” the boy said. “Thanks for telling me. As creepy as it is to hear about Dean’s sex life,” and that startled a laugh out of Cas, “it’s good to know. And thanks for not being an asshole.”

Cas smiled weakly. “Of course.” He headed towards the door, picking up his wings on the way, then paused. “I really do love him, you know.”

Sam nodded. “I know.”

That helped ease away some of the pain in Cas’ chest, and he left, the walk back to his house no longer seeming quite so horrible, and though his heart still ached it had become at least bearable.

Meanwhile, alone in his room, Dean lay curled under his covers, burrowed too deeply to have heard any of the words exchanged outside his door. Tears streamed down his face as he struggled for sleep, unable to shake away the feeling of that hand on his shoulder, the kisses on his lips, but most of all, the “I love you” spoken from the moonlit doorway.

 

**“It’s funny how beautiful people are when they’re walking out the door.”**  
_~Velvet Goldmine_

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waahh, the first bit of angst! I apologize! But it won't last long, I promise! This fic is going to be fairly angst-free.^^
> 
> And the DictionFairy is NOT my creation. I found a picture on tumblr and thought it was amazing and adorable, so when I was thinking of costume ideas for this chapter I thought how funny would it be if Cas went as that? Here it is:
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/dictionfairy_zpsf342aeb8.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> He wouldn't have the skirt of course lol. But there it is.
> 
>  
> 
> And if you haven't seen 'Velvet Goldmine', you should. It's spectacular.


	16. Text Me in the Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tears on my phone.  
> Feelin' so alone.  
> I'll never let you go, you've got the best of me.  
> When all the other boys just want your sex,  
> I just want your texts  
> in the morning.  
> ~'Text Me in the Morning', Neon Trees
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: PAST SEXUAL TRAUMA

Dean woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and a distinct feeling of _wrongness_. His mouth was dry and tasted disgustingly of last night’s alcohol, and he was still in his jeans and t-shirt, though his shoes at least had been removed. He stared dumbly at where his red jacket lay in a pile on the floor, mind struggling to piece together the events of last night, and then it all came rushing back in a flash, everything snapping back into place in a surge of pain. 

Cas. All Dean’s plans for the evening. How nervous he had been. Drinking too much. Cas driving him home and kissing him, kissing him, oh God, the kisses. Then, as soon as Dean had said he wanted Cas to be his first, Cas had pushed him away.

Dean’s face burned at the memory, his chest ached. There had to be an explanation. There _had_ to be. This was Cas. Cas wasn’t some shallow person to turn Dean away for being…..well, he wasn’t even a virgin, but that’s how it would have sounded to Cas. But anyway, no matter _what_ it was, even if there _was_ an explanation (and there had to be), it still really fucking hurt. Cas had still turned him down. 

Dean threw back the covers. He needed a shower, and hopefully it would help him think. Or not think….he wasn’t certain which was better.

The heat of the water felt blissful against Dean’s skin, but it was impossible to put his mind to rest. What if it WAS that Cas only liked being with experienced people? Because when it came to boys, Dean really had next to no experience. It was harder to find a boyfriend when they moved towns so often. People always just assumed Dean was straight so it was easier to go with that and find a girl rather than deal with the trial of coming out in what may or may not turn out to be a highly homophobic neighborhood, especially when he couldn’t truly come out for real. Dean knew he could never let his father know he liked boys. John Winchester would never approve of having a son who liked boys at all, even if he was bisexual and not full-on homosexual. Dean wasn’t certain _what_ his dad would do but it was sure to be unpleasant. So as long as they were moving place to place, it was easier to just let people assume and then go out and find a girl. But now and then, a boy would find him, and it would be WONDERFUL. The first boy he had ever kissed had been named Victor, a slim black boy with graceful hands and a shy smile that belied the cocky attitude beneath. They were both twelve at the time and that one kiss, fumbling and awkward, had turned Dean’s world upside down and rewritten everything he knew about romance.

But the furthest he had ever gotten with another boy had been with a guy named Balthazar. He'd been British and a smarmy asshole, but he was incredibly charming and sexy as fuck. They had met when the Winchesters were living in New York, at a party after a school football game. They didn't go to the same school. Come to think of it, Dean never _did_ find out where Balthazar was from. Dean could remember the night as though it had happened this past week and not four years ago. 

 

 _………….............................................................................................................................._  
Their eyes had met from across the room, and before he knew it, he had a drink in his hand and a charming voice was saying "hello, darling. I'm Balthazar." 

Several hours later, the other man was still there, along with that fuzzy feeling you got when you'd had just a _little_ too much to drink. Balthazar was shifting ever closer to Dean, whose back was already against the wall, and now their bodies were pressed together. He could feel Balthazar's cock hard against his leg, and as the boy slipped a thigh between his knees he could feel his own body responding in kind. Dean wasn't certain exactly how he should be feeling about this but God _damn_ it felt good. His head tipped back against the wall with a little moan, and he heard Balthazar chuckle. “What say we move this upstairs, hmm?”

Dean was dimly aware of nodding, of Balthazar taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to a vacant bedroom, and then they were kissing, clothes coming off. In the back of his incredibly fuzzy mind was the sense that there was something wrong with all of this but he shoved it away; when would he ever have this opportunity again? Dean Winchester didn’t meet boys….at least not boys that were interested in him. His flirting never seemed to get him anywhere….probably because he was too subtle (he had no idea how to act around boys, especially when he wasn’t certain if they were interested in men or not. It was a bit sad, really.) And now here was Balthazar, and he was gorgeous and flirty and experienced and _he wanted Dean_.

But when he was flat on his back on the bed beneath Balthazar, Dean felt naked in a way that had nothing to do with all the flesh currently bared to the older boy’s hungry gaze.

“Balthazar…” his voice was no more than a whisper. He was beginning to get nervous. He had no idea what the other boy’s intentions were here. “I...”

Those blue eyes looked down at him, a smirking smile glowing in them. “Shhh,” he hushed. “Not going to back out on me now, are you?”

“I…”

“Going to be a little cock-tease?”

That was the _last_ thing Dean wanted to be. And honestly, he didn’t know what it was Balthazar had planned. If it got out of hand, he could always stop him then. “….no.”

Balthazar rewarded him with a kiss. “Good boy.” And as much as Dean wanted to bristle at the patronizing compliment he couldn’t, because now Balthazar’s mouth was on him, swallowing him down and holy fuck. Dean had gotten a few blowjobs before but this? He didn’t know if it was because Balthazar was a guy and therefor knew what felt good or that he was just more experienced than the girls Dean had been with before, but Goddamn. This was AMAZING. His hands found their way into that soft, sandy blonde hair but Balthazar immediately pulled off, eliciting a whimper.

“No no,” he chided, removing Dean’s hands from his hair. “We must behave ourselves if we want to be rewarded.”

“Rewarded?” Dean somehow managed. Because honestly, he didn’t know how it was going to get better. Unless Balthazar was intending to fuck him. Which sorry but no, was NOT happening. Dean was just NOT ready for that, not with someone he barely knew.

Balthazar simply smiled, taking Dean’s hands and placing them on either side of his head where he could fist them in the blanket. “Keep them there. And suck.” He held out two fingers to Dean. “And if you keep your hands in place, maybe you’ll get a treat.”

Dean felt his heart skip a beat; the words slipped out before he could stop himself. “I’m not having sex with you,” he blurted out.

Balthazar looked so completely taken aback, then, unbelievably, he burst into laughter. “I never thought you were. Oh no, darling, believe me, I can tell a blushing virgin when I see one.”

Dean wanted to spit out a cutting retort but the blush that Balthazar’s words had sent to his cheeks didn’t exactly help his case, so he kept his mouth shut. “I….what are you doing, then?”

Balthazar simply smiled. “You’ll see. _If_ you behave.” And then that mouth was back at work and yea, Dean could keep his hands in place, because now that he knew sex was off the table, he REALLY wanted to see what this reward was. Balthazar’s fingers brushed his lips and oh yea, he took them into his mouth, sucking. Apparently he was doing well, for Balthazar hummed his approval, the noise vibrating around Dean’s cock and he moaned. 

“Fuck. Oh, fuck.” The words were garbled, seeing as how his mouth still had two fingers in it. Balthazar chuckled at that, and Dean was only vaguely aware of the fingers leaving which, since they were in his MOUTH, was a pretty good statement of Balthazar’s skill, that he was distracting Dean that much. Then Dean felt one of those fingers trace along the crack of his ass and press against him and he couldn’t help tensing up. Weren’t you supposed to have lube for this? Saliva was not going to be enough, especially not when he’d only sucked on those fingers for-

He felt one press into him and it hurt, _fuck_ it _hurt_ , a burning stretch and he’d been right, it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough by far. “Balthazar…..” His hands itched to move, to pull at Balthazar, to beg him to stop or at least slow down. “Balthazar, _please_.”

The boy’s only response was to take Dean even deeper into his mouth and yea, it was good, but Dean was still distracted by that burn. Then Balthazar did some sort of _thing_ with his tongue and Dean gasped. Balthazar took advantage of his distraction to probe deeper, finger teasing along Dean’s tight channel until he found that one spot that would drive him crazy.

“OH!” And there it was. Dean clutched at the bedspread in as much an effort to keep some semblance of control as to do as he’d been told. “ _Fuck!_ Fuck what WAS that?!” But Balthazar’s mouth was otherwise occupied and he didn’t respond, merely did it again and again, using his mouth to distract Dean as he pressed in a second finger, massaging Dean’s prostate to alleviate the burning stretch, and all the while using his free hand to jerk himself.

“Balthazar…” Dean was panting for breath; he was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and his eyes were half crazed with need. “ _Please_.”

And Balthazar gave him what he wanted, crooking his fingers so both pressed right against his prostate, tonguing the head of his cock, and Dean came hard, vision practically whiting out.

He blinked dazedly as he came down from his orgasm, struggling to focus on Balthazar. The other boy was kneeling above him, still fully clothed but for his pants, which were undone and shucked down just far enough to free his cock. “….Balthazar?”

The boy didn’t answer, simply continued stroking himself, taking in the sight of Dean sprawled on the bed, hair a mess, cheeks flushed, looking completely and utterly debauched. It was a gorgeous picture, and it only took a few quick jerks before he was coming, right onto Dean’s chest.

Dean jumped in surprise. “ _Fuck!_ What the fuck are you doing?!” Balthazar didn’t answer, simply let himself sink back against the pillows with a contented sigh. Dean stared at him, entire face flushed bright red. He pulled a pillow into his lap; suddenly he was feeling extremely exposed. “…..what the fuck was that,” he asked quietly.

Balthazar smiled, tucking himself back into his pants and zipping them up. “You got yours….I was just getting mine.”

Dean flushed. He had fully intended on doing something for Balthazar; he wasn’t expecting this to be all give and no take. “I would’ve-”

“Oh, but you didn’t _need_ to, pet.” And Balthazar patted Dean’s cheek, as if he were some sort of adorable child or animal. “You served your purpose.”

Dean could feel his face burning. “You Goddamn bastard.” But Balthazar just laughed, heading to the door.

“Now, now. Let’s play nice.” He paused halfway out the door. “Oh, and if you ever DO decide to get rid of that V-card…..” He tossed a small card onto the bed, his name and number clearly written on it. “Give me a call.” Dean threw his shoe but it was too late, Balthazar had already shut the door and the shoe hit only wood; Dean could hear Balthazar’s mocking laughter echoing down the hallway.  
_.............................................................................................................................._

 

Dean’s forehead was resting against the cool tile of the shower wall. He had been lost in thought for so long that the water was almost cold now. It had been so very long now since he had thought about all of that, hadn’t _wanted_ to think about it. He had torn the card up immediately and had cleaned himself up with the bedsheet. He dreaded to think of the reaction of the hostess. When he’d gotten home he’d thrown away the clothes he’d been wearing that night, unable to stand the thought of wearing them again, and he hadn’t been able to look at himself in the mirror for a week. Sam had noticed something was off but hadn’t been able to get Dean to tell him what. He was certain Sam would notice something was off today, too.

Dean couldn’t help but feel like this bullshit with Balthazar had something to do with why Cas didn’t want him. Balthazar had ruined him. He was no good. 

_Stop it_ , he told himself. _Stop it stop it_ stop _it_. He knew this was bullshit but he always got like this whenever things got bad. He would start beating up on himself for letting Balthazar do all of that to him. He had actually seen a therapist before (unbeknownst to his dad, who would flip the fuck out over it….another thing that was decidedly not manly in John Winchester’s eyes), at one of the schools he’d gone to. The woman, Marguerite, had helped him acknowledge that the encounter wasn’t his fault and it was a common occurrence for victims to blame themselves, but he still couldn’t help noticing and harping on the fact that he could have said no multiple times over and hadn’t. It didn’t matter how many therapists told him he couldn’t have done anything, he could have. And that made him feel _horrible_. Balthazar didn’t just treat him like shit, Dean LET him do it. _Fuck_.

_That’s not why Cas said no last night_ , Dean told himself firmly. _Cas doesn’t even know about it_. That brought up a whole new set of worries. Dean had to tell Cas eventually. Cas deserved to know. But what would happen once he did? _He wouldn’t care_. Dean repeated the thought stubbornly to himself. _Cas wouldn’t care_.

_God_ , this was just a terrible morning. Dean didn’t know that he could _be_ in a worse mood. And though the shower had helped, he still had a raging headache. Tea. Tea sounded good.

Sam was in the kitchen when he got there, and for some reason he was eyeing Dean with concern. “Hey, Sammy.”

“Hey, Dean.” Sam simply watched as Dean puttered around the kitchen, filling the teapot and putting bread in the toaster. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, almost cautiously.

Dean turned to him, arching a brow. “….fine.” His pocket buzzed and he reached in to grab his phone, looking at the screen. _Dean, please call me and let me know you’re okay_.

Wow. Cas really MUST be worried about him, for him to use full sentences and no abbreviations like ‘r’ and ‘u’. The thought would have made him smile under normal circumstances. He shoved the phone away. When he looked up, Sam was watching him. “What.”

“Cas?”

“Why do you care.” Just like that, Dean’s stormy mood had returned in full force. 

“Because I care about you. And him.” 

Dean let out a laugh at that, buttering his toast. “You care about my boyfriend? Now that’s just weird, Sam, even for you.” Sam glowered at Dean.

“You know what I mean, Dean. I like him. I think he’s good for you.”

“Oh, do you.” Dean’s voice was dark. 

“Yes, I do. Look, what’s wrong?”

“Why do you assume something’s wrong?” Dean should have known he was pushing it with that question; the look Sam gave him was positively ridiculous, clearly stating ‘how stupid do you think I am?’ He scowled, stabbing at his toast with the butterknife. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I mean. Just. Stuff. Boyfriend stuff.”

“Dean! What’s. Wrong.” Sam’s voice was verging on angry now, so frustrated and clearly fed-up with Dean’s evasions.

“FINE!” Dean exploded. “You wanna know what’s wrong? He turned me down, okay? I tried to get him in bed last night and he turned me down. Happy? You wanted to hear that? _Cas didn’t want me_.” He shook his head, picking at his toast. “Goddammit, Sammy.”

Sam was silent for a long time, staring at Dean, unable to find the words. “I….” Finally he shook his head. " _Geez_ , Dean, you're such an _idiot_.”

Dean’s attention snapped up, eyes fixing on Sam. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“You heard me. Cas is crazy about you. And there's no _way_ he doesn't want you."

"If this is your sex-eyes thing you can shut up right now," Dean grumbled over a piece of toast.

"No. He...ah...." Sam hesitated. That piqued Dean's interest and he looked up. "He asked me to look after you when he left last night. And he was all flushed and stuff. Like....clearly really riled up." It was obvious Sam was uncomfortable saying these things but wanted Dean to know how Cas felt so he would stop worrying. "And he...." he broke off.

".....what. He what?" It didn't look as if Sam were going to answer anytime soon. "Dammit, Sammy, what is it?"

Sam was bright red. "He had a massive boner, okay??"

Dean did probably the biggest double take in the history of the world. "He WHAT?? He.....EWWWW SAM! Don't talk about Cas that way!"

"You think I WANT to?" Sam looked furiously embarrassed. "You think I WANT to see my brother's boyfriend's hard-on?"

"Gah, Sammy, stop it! No!” Dean was cringing with horror and embarrassment on both his and Castiel’s behalf. 

“I’m not gonna stop unless you call him.”

“….Sammy….” Despite Sam’s assurances, Dean was still nervous. Sam’s eyes narrowed.

“Dean, so help me, if you don’t call your damn boyfriend, as gross as it is, I will talk about his boner all fucking day.”

“OH MY GOD FINE! FINE!” Dean was out of the chair so fast that he nearly knocked it over, heading towards his bedroom to make the call. Before he shut the door, he poked his head back into the kitchen. “Oh, and by the way, Sammy?”

Sam glanced up. “Yeah?”

Dean pointed at him. “Language.”

Sam glared. “Get out of here before I start talking about boners again.”

Dean vanished from view; Sam shook his head, smiling, and returned to his reading.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean fidgeted with his phone. He had to call. He _knew_ he had to call. But what if Cas didn’t answer. He shook his head. That was stupid, of COURSE Cas would answer. Cas just texted him and told him to call. It wouldn’t make sense if Cas didn’t answer after telling him to call. 

Finally, steeling up his courage, he pressed the dial button. The phone had barely rung once before there was a click and Cas answered, that familiar “Dean?” Only this time he was out of breath, anxious, as if he had been waiting for Dean to call. That made Dean smile ever so slightly, though nervously.

“Hey, Cas,” he said softly.

“How’re you….I mean…..are you feeling okay?”

“Yea. Yea, I’m……” This was really awkward over the phone. “…..do you want to come over?”

Castiel’s relief was palpable before he even answered in words. “Yes,” he said, voice breathy with a sort of hope, relief, happiness. “I would like that very much.”

 

**~*~**

 

Sam looked up as Dean entered the room only a moment or two after leaving. He frowned. “That was fast. Is everything okay?”

“He’s coming over.” A smile spread across Dean’s face as he spoke the words, like sunshine, and Sam smiled in return.

“Good.” He was silent, just watching his older brother, how happy he was. “…..he loves you, you know.”

Dean looked sharply at Sam. “Why do you say that?”

Sam shrugged. “Cuz he told me so last night.”

Sam was pretty positive that, for the rest of his life, he would never see his brother look happier than he did at that moment, unless he actually had Castiel there with him. It was at that moment that he knew how very much Dean loved Cas, how happy Cas made him. _You better not mess this up_ , he silently told the other boy. But somehow he knew that Cas wouldn’t. If there really was such a thing as soulmates, he thought Dean and Cas had found theirs. Seeing them together…. 

He realized Dean was watching him. “What.”

“What’re you thinking about, midget.”

Sam just shook his head, smiling. “Nothing.” The sound of a car could be heard in the driveway outside and Dean’s face positively lit up. Sam laughed. “There’s Cas. Better go get him, loverboy.”

“Oh, shut up,” Dean said goodnaturedly, heading towards the door, but he paused. “Hey, Sam?” Sam looked up inquisitively. Dean smiled. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Sam winced as Dean ruffled his hair, and swatted at his hand, but he couldn’t be irritated, not with that face, that smile, the love plainly written there; not when Castiel was there in the driveway with the same exact expression on his face as he watched Dean walk towards him out the door.

And hey, if this meant he’d be stuck with the two lovebirds around all the time, he’d just get way more blackmail material on Dean (petnames, anyone?).

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! Told you the angst would be short lived! Except for the story with Balthazar, which, there's a really important note about that. First, the unimporant note: I apologize to all Balthazar fans that I made him a smarmy douche, but he kind of IS a smarmy douche. He's just not an asshole like I made him. But being smarmy makes it easy to take it that one step farther, so I did.
> 
> Now, the important part:  
> In this story, Dean does not quite count as a victim of rape, but he IS a victim of molestation. Victims often blame themselves, and that's what he is doing. I wanted to put this in here in case anyone in a similar situation is reading. I want you to know that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. I know it can be hard to believe. I have found myself in similar circumstances twice, the first time when I was in grade school, and I still have difficulty with it. But I want you to know that you are not to blame. It is never the victim's fault.
> 
> Such HUGE thanks to all those that reviewed! I am still fantastically sick (going for an MRI on Friday to see if they can figure out what's wrong with me) so getting all those sweet comments really made me so happy.
> 
> I'll get the next bit up as soon as possible! <3


	17. Tell Me You Still Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So text me in the morning  
> Tell me you still love me  
> I don't believe a single word.  
> You tell me you're tipsy;  
> I tell you you're pretty.  
> We could spend the night if you're still sure.  
> But text me in the morning.  
> ~'Text Me in the Morning', Neon Trees

Cas was initially nervous when Gabriel dropped him off outside of the Winchester’s house, but the feeling didn’t last long. The front door opened and he smiled as Dean emerged, and all flutters of nervousness vanished when he saw Dean’s answering smile. It was a beautiful thing, full and glowing and lighting up every inch of Dean’s face.

Without a pause, Dean bounded up to Cas, and for a moment Cas thought Dean was going to bounce right into his arms. Unfortunately, he stopped himself right in time, catching himself mere inches from Cas. “Hi,” Dean said, and though he was still smiling, now there was a touch of hesitance in it; he rocked nervously on the balls of his feet. The action was adorable and it only increased Cas’ desire to pull the other boy into his arms.

“Hello.” He smiled as he watched Dean continue to rock. “Can I…..may I come in?”

Dean nodded, a touch over-enthusiastically. “Please. I’d like that. We…..I want to talk.” He held out a hand, reaching for Cas, and Cas accepted, loving the way Dean squeezed his hand, the affection there, and he laughed as Dean tugged him into the house.

Sam smiled up at him from where he sat at the kitchen table. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hey, Sam,” but the words were called over his shoulder as Dean pulled him down the hallway towards his room, shutting the door behind them. It gave him a strange sense of déjà vu from last night, and he once again felt that nervousness in his stomach. He knew today would be no sort of repeat of the night before, but they were still going to discuss it. He hoped it wouldn’t be _too_ awkward.

With the door now closed behind them, Dean released Cas’ hand and plopped onto his bed. “So.” Silence fell between them. Cas noticed for the first time that Dean was still in his pajamas: those soft green striped pants that he loved, the oversized _‘Hamlet’_ shirt that he had gotten one summer at a Shakespeare in the Park performance. He looked positively adorable. Still, it was time to focus, no matter how difficult Dean’s appearance was making that.

“So,” Cas agreed. “Last night.” Dean flushed at the very words. “Dean,” Cas said softly. He stepped closer, reaching out to touch Dean’s face and Dean let him, his eyes slipping shut. Cas stroked his cheek. “You were drunk,” he said softly. 

“I know.” The words were nearly inaudible.

“I never would have turned you down otherwise.”

Green eyes fluttered open. “….yea?” 

Cas was completely surprised, though on some level he supposed he shouldn’t be. Of course Dean would think Cas didn’t want him. For all his amazing and wonderful qualities, his perfection, Dean had the terrible quality of self-doubt. Of COURSE he would think that he wasn’t worthy of Cas’ desire, his love. “Of course I wouldn’t! Dean…..do you have any idea how much I want you? How much I love you?” Dean flushed brilliant crimson, averting his gaze, and Cas stroked his cheek, tracing his cheekbone with one thumb. “Dean….you are the most beautiful person I have ever known. Inside AND out. You are funny and amazing and absolutely lovely, and I want you. GOD, do I want you. But not while you’re drunk.”

“I didn’t mean to be drunk!” Dean was redder than Cas had ever seen him, and protesting seemed to give him something to distract him from blushing. “I just wanted-” But he broke off, flushing.

“What.” Dean didn’t answer. “Wanted what?”

Dean still wouldn’t look at Cas; he mumbled his reply. “I was nervous. I was trying to calm down.”

“Nervous?” Cas’ brow furrowed. Dean didn’t answer. Then Dean’s words from last night sank in. “Oh. Is this…..is this what you said about me being…..”

“Yea.” Dean was clearly horribly embarrassed. “I mean…..yea.”

Cas sat down on the bed beside him, so close that their legs were touching. He leaned in, bumping their shoulders together, a smile on his face. “Your first?”

Dean’s face was aflame. “Yes, okay! Yes!” 

Cas just laughed. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! It’s just…..I love it.”

That got Dean’s attention and he glanced at Cas. “…..really?”

“That you’d trust me with that?” Cas nodded. “Yeah. Really.”

Dean’s stomach did flip-flops; his heart did that silly flutter thing. Then he felt a wave of worry. “Well….I mean…that’s not entirely accurate.” He wasn’t a virgin. This was misleading. What was Cas going to do when he found out the truth? When he found out how Balthazar had used Dean, had ruined him?

But Cas didn’t look upset. He was just regarding Dean with one brow arched curiously, waiting to see what it was Dean meant. 

“I….” Dean’s stomach was tied in knots. “…..can we lie down?”

Cas nodded, though he was beginning to look nervous. Still, Dean couldn’t be worried about that, because Cas looked nervous on Dean’s behalf, nervous that Dean was so upset, not nervous about whatever news Dean was about to share. He lay back, pulling Dean into his arms, cradling Dean against his chest as he always did and immediately began carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. It was incredibly soothing and Dean relaxed ever so slightly. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and began.  


 He told Cas the whole horrible truth of Balthazar, how he had let himself be used like that. He could feel tension returning to Castiel's body with each word and he clutched Cas that much tighter. When he was finally finished, there was only silence in the room. "I'm sorry.” He mumbled the words into Cas’ shirt. “I should've told you up front." His heart was pounding, dying to know what Cas was thinking and yet terrified at the same time.

"Hey," and Cas was pulling away, sending panic through Dean, but then Cas was cupping his face, thumb brushing the worry from his brow, kissing it away. "No. Don't apologize. Don't you dare apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Dean felt a wave of relief. Cas wasn’t mad. He didn’t care. Still, he couldn’t help feeling he should apologize, do something. “But-”

Cas shook his head, interrupting whatever Dean had been about to say. “No, Dean. None of that was your fault. That asshole should have treated you better. NO one should be treated that way. Not unless they specifically ask for it. He shouldn’t have used you like that. But it wasn't your fault. Do you hear me?” He was holding Dean’s face so that the boy was forced to look at him, their eyes meeting. “It was _not_ your fault.”

Dean’s face was flushing. Cas was so good to him. He was always so good to him. And, despite the therapist telling him the exact same thing, despite years of repeating it to himself, when Cas said it, somehow Dean could almost believe it. He nodded. “Okay.”

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek, looking somewhat appeased to see Dean agree, to see the tension ease from Dean’s brow. “Is that why you said last night that I'd be your first? Cuz you've never been with a guy? Just girls?" 

Dean fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable. "Yes and no. Because..." he fell silent for a long moment, and when he spoke up the embarrassment in his voice was palpable. "Because I've never had sex with anyone I love. And that means I may as well have never had sex at all. It'll only be _real_ sex when it’s with someone I care about. So yea, I sorta do consider myself a virgin. And I know it’s stupid" but he was cut off by Cas kissing him, long and deep. When it was done, he stared at Cas with surprise. 

" _I_ don't think it’s stupid," Cas said. His face was so serious and yet so overcome with love and affection, and Dean couldn’t handle it. He wanted to look away from all that emotion but he couldn’t, his eyes captured by Castiel’s. He blushed.

“You should’ve heard Charlie,” he said. “She thought it was ‘SO romantic’,” and he mimicked Charlie’s voice. 

Cas laughed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yea. And went on to tell me how I’m 90% perfect and how I should have been snatched up by now.”

“Well, she’s wrong there.” Dean opened his mouth, about to laugh and give Cas a smack for making fun of him, but Cas was smiling. “You’re 100% perfect.”

At that, all words vanished from Dean’s mind and he simply blushed. “Flatterer.”

“Well. Maybe 99%. With the 1% being the part where you can’t accept compliments and you always look down on yourself.”

“Oi. Shut up.”

“No.” Cas kissed the tip of Dean’s nose, eliciting a laugh. They were silent for several long moments, but it was a happy sort of silence….content. They had worked through all the problems of last night and it had been so easy. On top of that, Dean had confessed his past to Cas and Cas hadn’t been bothered at all. Everything was perfect. Dean didn’t know how he could be any happier. 

"Hey," Cas's voice shattered the silence. 

“Hmm?”

“So as far as guys go, it’s only been a blowjob?”

Dean’s face immediately turned bright red. “Yea.”

“Okay.” Before Dean could ask Cas what the point of that question was, he was speaking up again. "Does this mean I get to take the rest of your firsts?"

Dean groaned in embarrassment, burying his face in Cas' shirt again. "Caaaaas!"

“What? I’m just asking!”

“You are so _infuriating!_ ”

“Ooh, big word, Mr. English-man.”

“I hate you.”

“You do not. And I really REALLY hope I do. Get to take your firsts, I mean. Because seriously, that would be stupendous.”

Dean pulled back from his hiding spot in the folds of Cas’ shirt. Cas was smiling at him. “…..really?”

Cas nodded. “Really. I want to do that. Be the first to share those moments with you.”

Dean’s stomach did that stupid flip-flop, his heart fluttering. “I…..yea. Yea. You will be.”

He didn’t know the last time he had seen such a huge smile on Cas’ face. “Oh, awesome. That….that is just fantastic.”

Dean knew he was blushing madly, but he was still smiling. “I’m glad you’re so excited.”

“I am. I am SUPER excited. Super CRAZY excited.”

Dean laughed. “Good.” A thought occurred to him….something he’d wondered before but never really bothered to ask. “Cas, are you gay or bi?”

Cas blinked at him. “Wow. THAT question came out of nowhere.”

“Well you’ve never said! I mean it doesn’t matter one way or another. I’m just curious.”

Cas smiled. “I’m Dean-centric.” Dean punched Cas’ shoulder. “Ow!”

“You deserved it. Ass.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Kinda. I mean, I guess I’m bi? If I had to choose. I’ve always been able to appreciate both sexes but I’ve never really been extremely interested in either. Romantically interested, that is. I’ve been physically involved with both, but you’re the first person I’ve ever cared for.”

Oh God. If there truly was such a thing as swooning (outside of romance novels, that is) Dean was pretty sure that’s what he was about to do. “Really?” Cas nodded. “Not just saying that?”

“Dean. I don’t lie to you.”

Yup. Definitely swooning. “I love you.”

Cas smiled. “I love you, too.”

Dean stroked Cas’ cheek, leaning in for a kiss. Then he frowned. “But you’ve had sex with both guys and girls?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.” He took in the expression on Dean’s face, the frown, and grinned. “Why? You jealous?”

“Extremely.”

Cas laughed. “Well you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I told you, I’m Dean-centric.”

Dean snuggled closer, a smile on his face as he kissed Cas. “Good. Keep it that way.”

Cas shook his head, chuckling. “Silly.”

“Shut up,” Dean responded good-naturedly. Cas just ran a hand through Dean’s hair. Dean nearly purred, arching into the feeling.

“Dean?”

“Mm?” His eyes were closed as Cas continued to pet him.

“Last night, you asked me to stay?”

“Yea.”

"Did you mean it?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Of course I meant it. Idiot. Like you have to ask.”

Cas flicked his ear in reply. “Smartass. Well. Would you still like me to?” He asked the question almost shyly. “Cuz I can. I mean I’d really really like to stay. Or you can come stay at my house, if you’d rather." 

Dean shook his head. "Can't. Gotta watch Sammy." Sam was old enough now to take care of himself but God only knows when John would be home and Dean didn't like the thought of leaving Sam home alone overnight. "But...you could stay here?" 

Cas smiled. "I'd love to."

Dean rolled off the bed and padded barefoot down the hallway, poking his head into the kitchen where Sam was doing his homework at the table. God, did the kid ever STOP doing homework? "Hey, Sammy?"

"Sam," he corrected automatically. "What?"

Dean scratched the back of his head. "Ah....is it okay with you if Cas spends the night?" This was incredibly awkward.

But Sam just nodded with that same calm acceptance with which he had accepted Dean's bisexuality. "Of course."

Dean's face broke into a huge grin. "Yea?"

"Yeah." Dean turned to go but Sam wasn't done. "But Dean?" Dean turned back, eyes questioning. Sam's nose was wrinkled in a mild form of bitchface, though there was a hint of a twinkle in his eye. "Keep it down."

Dean's face flushed crimson. "SHUT UP, SAM!" Ignoring his brother’s laughter, he returned to his room. Cas was sitting on his bed, a brow arched.

“What was all THAT about?”

“Nothing. My brother’s an asshole.” Dean returned to the bed, plopping down beside Cas. “So….what do you want to do?”

Cas pondered. “It’s still pretty early. You want to just stay in bed a while?”

Dean smiled. “That sounds great to me.” He looked Cas up and down. “You should get in some pajamas, though. Can borrow some of mine.” He pointed. “Top drawer.”

Cas rose, moving to the dresser. “Why Dean Winchester, you’re trusting me to go through your drawers?”

“Go for it. I don’t have anything incriminating in there.” The words had no sooner left his mouth than Cas lifted a pair of pink panties from the top drawer, eyeing Dean with one arched brow. Dean immediately flushed crimson all the way to the tips of his ears. He was on his feet in a shot, yanking the panties out of Cas’ hands. “Except those.”

Cas looked amused. “Care to explain?”

“……not really.” But Cas was waiting expectantly. Dean sighed. “They belonged to a girl I hooked up with a few times. She made me try them on.”

That made both of Castiel’s brows shoot up till they were practically invisible in his hairline. “ _Made?_ ” he echoed.

Dean nodded. “Yea. She sorta ordered me and…..it was kinda hot.” He couldn’t look at Cas anymore, he just _couldn’t_. He turned his attention to the panties in his hand, so soft and satiny. “And they felt really good, and _looked_ good, and….” God. _Time to shut up, Winchester_. “……yea,” he finished lamely.

There was the softest noise of footsteps and then Cas was right in front of him, hands gently tilting his face up so their eyes met. “Would you wear them for me sometime?”

Dean’s eyes went as wide as saucers. “I……really?” 

Cas nodded. “Really.”

Dean gave Cas his best scandalized smile. “Why Cas, you kinky bastard.”

Cas burst into laughter. “Look who’s talking, Mr. I-Hide-Panties-in-My-Dresser-Drawer!”

“Shut up!” Dean shushed him furiously. “Sam’ll hear you!”

Cas laughed, but his hand met Dean’s, stroking the panties. “Well, will you?”

It felt as though somebody had cranked up the heat in the room. “Yea,” Dean managed, mouth dry. “I can do that.”

Cas smiled. “Good.” And he turned back to the dresser, tugging out some pajama pants and an oversized shirt. He began wriggling out of his own clothes, which did absolutely nothing to help Dean’s raging hormones, and slipped into the pajamas. They were slightly big on him, which was positively adorable. “Oh.” He held out his hand for the panties. “Better put those back where they came from.” Dean handed them over with a blushing smile on his face and Cas tucked them into the drawer, stepping forward to kiss the smile on Dean’s face. “Maybe I can draw you in them.”

Dean could have sworn he felt his heart stop for a beat, then start pounding furiously. “…the….the panties?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. I think it’d look really nice.”

Oh God, he was gonna pass out. Somehow he managed a nod. “Yea. I’d like that.”

Castiel smiled. “Good. Me too.” He kissed Dean softly, pulling away with a smile. “So,” he said. “Bed?”

That one word now brought a _whole_ new series of thoughts to Dean’s mind than it had moments before. He swallowed, shaking them away. “Sure. Um. Want to put a record on?”

“Oh! That sounds good.” Cas moved to where the turntable and records were kept, crouching to thumb through them. Dean flopped back onto the bed, watching. After a moment Cas pulled one out. “What about this one?” His voice was hesitant, and it was easy to see why.

It was the album they had fought over at the tag sale, _‘Revolution’_ with _Hey Jude_ on the B side. Dean felt that little pang in his chest. “…I….” but there was really no reason to object, and it was probably a good idea to let Cas know why the record was so important to him, anyway. “…..okay.”

Cas set the record on the turntable, moving to join Dean on the bed, letting Dean snuggle back into place. Dean waited for the inevitable question. “Why is this record so important to you?” Well. That hadn’t taken long. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Cas added hastily.

“No, I want to,” Dean assured. “I should’ve told you a long time ago.” He took a deep breath. It still hurt talking about his mom, no matter how many years it had been. He supposed it always would. “It’s my mom. When I was a baby, she used to sing _‘Hey Jude’_ to me instead of lullabies. And then later she'd sing it when I was sad.”

“Oh.” Castiel’s voice was no more than a whisper.

“Yea.” Dean laughed awkwardly. “So the song has always been really important to me. And finding a copy of the original record? That’s big. That’s why I wanted it so badly. So when you gave it to me, without even needing a reason? That was _huge_. Especially the way you looked at me. You looked at me as if you knew. As if you understood, without even being told. I couldn’t handle that. That’s why I left as fast as I did.”

“Practically ran,” Cas teased, gently poking Dean’s waist. “I totally scored that reading lamp you’d been looking at.”

“Oh, no way!” Dean had totally forgotten the lamp, had forgotten it as soon as he had seen that look on Castiel’s face that day when he had given Dean the record. But as soon as Cas mentioned it, he could picture it clearly. “You lucky bastard.” Cas just laughed.

“Hey, you flew out of there like a bat out of hell.”

Dean blushed, but he was smiling. “What can I say. You made quite an impression.” Cas huffed a quiet chuckle; Dean snuggled closer. “When I got home that night….” He remembered it as though it were yesterday. “For the first time ever, when I listened to that song, I didn’t just think of mom. I thought of you.”

“Really?” Castiel’s voice was full of wonder. He sounded so incredibly touched. Dean nodded.

“Yea. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me…..you giving me the record the way you did. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, but even if I hadn’t, I never would have forgotten you.”

Cas pulled Dean even closer into his arms, kissing his forehead. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so very much.”

“I love you too,” Dean murmured. “You….you’re everything to me.”

And they fell silent, content to simply lay curled together, the soft melody of _‘Hey Jude’_ playing as they whiled away the morning wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow, only one of you reviewed last time, my faithful starship_destiel, whom I adore. <3 I hope I didn't weird anyone out or scare them off with all the Balthazar stuff. Or that you're just not losing interest in general, cuz there's still probably approximately eight chapters to go. Give or take.
> 
> Also, I _really_ want to apologize for using both the panties AND _'Hey Jude'_. I know they are taken directly from the show and I usually try to avoid doing that because I know it can get overdone, but I felt they would work well in here. Still, I would like to apologize if they seemed trite or cliched.


	18. Electric Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you just promise me  
> to stay forever  
> Never ever leave my side.  
> If the sun never rolls again  
> the moon will light the way, my friend.  
> So stay forever.  
> ~'Stay Forever', Neon Trees

It had been one of the best days Dean had had in a long time. True, every day spent with Cas was amazing, but this time they got to spend the whole day together, outside of school. _That_ was something. And Sam was home, too. They managed to convince the little nerd to put down his homework and books for long enough to join them for a few rounds of video games.

“So….how come Gabe dropped you off?”

Cas didn’t take his eyes away from the screen, busy bouncing Mario from cloud to cloud. “Oh….I’ve been having trouble with my car.”

“Told you that Prius is a piece of shit.”

THAT got Cas’ attention, and he gave Dean an evil glower. Dean just grinned at him. 

“Dead.”

“Hmm?” 

“I said you’re dead,” Sam repeated. Cas’ head whipped around to face the TV. “I just trounced your ass.”

“WHAT??”

Dean laughed. “See? The Prius ruins EVERYTHING.”

“YOU ruin everything.” Cas shot back.

“Ooooh, burn!” Sam was laughing. Dean threw a handful of popcorn at him. 

“Shut up, Sammy. And fine then, if I ruin everything, then no cookies for you. The cookie jar is officially off limits.”

“Oh God. Ug. This is not even _close_ to being within the realm of _anything_ I wanted to hear.” Sam struggled up from the couch.

“Aww, where’re you going, Sammy?”

“To hide in my room and try to banish all memory of you using the word “cookies” in such an inappropriate manner.” Sam gave them one last, dignified look. “And I’m  
taking the popcorn.” With that, he vanished from the room.

“Aw, Sammy, don’t be like that,” Dean called after him, grinning. Cas was stifling laughter.

“You’re such an asshole.”

Dean just grinned at him. “I know.”

“Cookie jar?” Cas echoed. “Seriously?”

“Oi.”

“No. You’re a dork.”

“Shaddup.”

“I will not.” Cas let Dean pull him to his feet; he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, kissing him. “Dork.”

“I told you to shut up. Or no cookies.”

“Oh?” Cas gazed at Dean from beneath dark lashes. “I didn’t realize there was such an option on the table.”

“Well….you _are_ staying over tonight.”

That pulled at something in Cas’ gut. In all the teasing over video games, it had nearly slipped his mind. “Oh,” he said softly. Dean just smiled, but there was heat behind it.

“Yea,” he murmured.

“Well, then, I suppose I’d better behave myself, hadn’t I?”

“I should say so.” Dean pulled away, stepping backwards and out of Cas’ arms, which elicited a tiny noise of complaint. “If you want any cookies, that is.” Cas shook his head, smiling. “Come on. Let’s go back to my room.”

 

**~*~**

 

Once back in Dean’s room, door shut behind them, Cas flopped onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Dean plopped down in front of him, facing him, and flung his legs carelessly over Castiel’s lap, straddling his waist. Cas laughed. “Comfortable?”

Dean leaned his weight back on his hands, grinning. “Very.” Cas just shook his head, smiling, and idly tickled the sole of Dean’s foot, eliciting a laugh. “Hey!”

Cas smiled. “Ticklish, huh.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t get any ideas.” 

Cas chuckled. “Okay. All evil ideas are filed away for the time being.” Instead, he took Dean’s foot in hand and began gently massaging. Dean’s eyes slipped shut and he moaned.

“Oh my God.”

Cas smiled. “Good?”

“Understatement. Fuck, Cas.” 

Dean looked so damn happy, and it warmed Cas right to his very core. It was so strange, such a new feeling. He had meant it when he told Dean that he was ‘Dean-centric’, that he had never had feelings for anyone else before. Maybe brief stirrings of interest, but never anything that could be qualified as true romantic feelings. Nothing that had ever made him feel he could see himself staying with this person or that person. With Dean……with Dean it was as easy as breathing.

He looked at Dean, taking in everything, and as always, was overcome by how much love he felt. But right now…..Cas felt somewhat at a loss for what to do. He knew very well what he _wanted_ to do, but he wasn’t certain if it was okay. He supposed, as dorky as almost anyone else would think it was, he could just ask.

“Dean?”

“Mm?” Dean’s eyes were still shut. Cas had moved on to his other foot by now and clearly it felt just as good as the first one had.

Cas swallowed. “…..can I take your shirt off?”

THAT got a reaction. Dean’s eyes fluttered open; he looked at Cas, echoing "can you take my shirt off?"

Cas nodded. He was flushing. Dean was staring at him, face so confused and quizzical and something else that Cas couldn't quite put his finger on and oh God, maybe this had been a mistake. He began to turn away, shifting, moving to get up. "Sorry. I'm sorry. Forget I asked."

"Hey, Cas, whoa." Dean caught his wrist. "Wait a minute. You. You're seriously asking if you can take my shirt off?" Cas nodded, face aflame. "Why?"

"I just....I didn't know your sexual history until today," Cas mumbled. "I never wanted to push you too far."

Dean was silent, simply regarding Cas. ".....and now?"

Cas shrugged awkwardly. "I don't know. Just doesn't feel right not to ask. I mean we’ve never gone too far. I still don't wanna push you."

Dean stared at Cas for a long silent moment during which Cas felt he would explode from nervousness, then Dean burst into laughter. "Are you serious, Cas?"

Cas looked at him, surprised. "I....what?"

"Push me? PUSH me?"

"Yeah," Cas answered defensively. He had no idea why Dean was laughing.

"....Cas..." Dean shook his head, amused; he took Cas' face in his hands, giving him a gentle kiss. "You could never push me," he said softly. "You are the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met. I know you would never push me to do anything I'm not ready for. I've ALWAYS known that."

Cas’ face was bright red under the onslaught of Dean’s words, the love and trust in them. “I….” he didn’t know what to say. “I love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you, too.” The smile grew. “So yes, I guess, is the answer to the original question.”

The words sent flutters all through Cas. “Really?”

Dean laughed. “ _Yes_ , really! Do you want me to do it myself?”

“No!” The word burst from Castiel’s lips with such force that Dean looked taken aback, then he smiled, amused. “No. I wanna do it.”

Smiling, Dean moved closer on the bed, kneeling in between Castiel’s legs, practically in his lap. Cas reached towards him with shaking hands, taking hold of the bottom of his t-shirt and tugging it up and off.

God. It was everything he’d dreamt of and yet better. Dean was slim and yet muscular, skin golden tan. Cas' hands traced the planes of Dean's bare chest almost reverently, eyes roving over each inch of naked skin, his gaze so intent that Dean blushed. 

“You’re very…..”

“Mm?” Cas’ eyes didn’t leave Dean’s body.

Dean couldn’t find a word for it, for the look in Cas’ eyes, on his face. “…..intense,” he said at last. The tiniest smile graced Castiel’s face, but he didn’t look up, didn’t pause for a moment in his slow worship of Dean’s body.

"I've thought about this," Cas murmured. "You, shirtless. Every time you wear one of your tight little shirts. Every time you stretch and your shirt rides up in front so just the tiniest inch of your belly shows." He paused. "Every time I see you after soccer practice and you're all wet from the showers."

Cas' words had turned Dean's face scarlet red; now he paused. "Does that bother you?" He asked timidly. "Me showering with the other boys?"

Cas was silent and Dean knew the answer immediately, without hearing it. "......it makes me jealous," Cas said at last. "I wouldn't say it bothers me cuz I know you need to shower and I know you're not checking out other guys. But yeah. I'm jealous. Jealous that they get to see you naked and I don't." His eyes flicked up, gaze meeting Dean's. "It IS a communal shower, isn't it?

Dean could see where this question was going, see the barely suppressed emotion in Castiel's eyes. "....Cas..."

With a growl, Cas flipped Dean over, switching their positions so Dean was flat on his back, pinned to the bed. "I _hate_ that." He mouthed along the juncture of Dean's neck where his throat met his shoulder. "Those assholes have seen you naked."

"Ah..." Dean was finding it difficult to form words, only breathy moans escaping. "....been trying to go faster.....shower quicker."

"I know. Fuck, I know. Not trying to make you feel guilty, just...." Cas nosed along Dean's collarbone, pausing to nip gently. "Mine."

Dean 'eeped' at the bite; he nodded. "Yours." He chuckled softly; Cas pulled back to look at him.

"What. What's so funny."

"Nothing, just." Dean carded his fingers through Cas' messy brown hair. "Never would've thought you'd be the possessive type. Or that I'd like it so damn much."

Cas smiled. "Yeah?"

Dean nodded in confirmation. "Yea."

"Oh, good." Cas practically sighed the words. "I'm glad this isn't freaking you out." Dean laughed.

"Total opposite. Strangely enough, I'm finding this all....pretty damn hot."

Cas grinned. “Yeah? You like me being all possessive?” Dean nodded. “Good. Cuz I don’t know how I’d stop myself.”

“Mm…” Dean sighed happily as Cas began nuzzling at his neck again. “Well, as to the shower room….I think I might have a solution.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“I can come back here and shower with you.”

All of Castiel’s actions ceased and Dean was afraid he’d gone a step too far. Then, before he’d had time to register the movement, Cas was pushing him down into the mattress, kissing him hard and deep. Dean was dizzy when they pulled apart, and he laughed. “Should I take that as your approval?”

“Yes,” Cas managed breathlessly. “Oh, _fuck_ yes!”

Dean laughed happily, wrapping both arms around Cas and pulling the boy into another kiss. Castiel pressed their bodies together, kissing Dean with equal fervor, and all sense of time vanished as they lost themselves in each other.

 

**~*~**

 

Several hours had passed. It was beginning to grow dark outside, but not quite enough to turn on the lights yet. The wind was blowing, sending leaves fluttering up against the windowpane, and the house was silent but for a sudden knocking at the door. “Guys?”

“Come in, Sammy.”

Sam knocked again, then pushed the door open the tiniest crack. “Guys?” He pushed it open a bit more and now they could see him; he had a hand covering his eyes. “Are we all decent?”

Dean snorted. “You can uncover your eyes, Sam, we’re not having sex.”

Satisfied, Sam pushed the door open the rest of the way and uncovered his eyes. “I was just wondering if you guys-” but he broke off, staring. “……do I want to know why you aren’t wearing a shirt?”

“Probably not.”

“….fair enough.” And that was it, he continued, no questions asked. Seriously? Best brother ever. “I was wondering if you guys wanted to get dinner. I mean, we could cook, but I figured you wouldn’t want to do that on a weekend.”

Cas looked at Dean, surprised. “You cook?”

Dean shifted awkwardly. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Dean, shut up.” Sam looked at Cas. “He’s a _super_ good cook.”

“Sammy, shut your cake-hole.” Dean was flushing now. “I’m okay. Years of moving around, plus dad being how he is, SOMEONE had to learn to make food, and God knows _this_ one was too young.” He nodded at Sam.

Cas just smiled. “I’d love for you to cook for me sometime.” Dean was definitely red now. “But you don’t have to tonight. We can just order out, if you like.”

Sam was grinning so wide, Cas was surprised his face didn’t split in two. “Well aren’t you two just totally married.”

Cas’ brow furrowed, puzzled. “What?”

Sam put on a high pitched voice. “I’d love to taste your cooking sometime, sweetheart. But I understand you’re tired, so we’ll just relax tonight.”

Cas could feel his cheeks flushing. “Dean, I understand what you meant about your brother being annoying.”

Dean laughed. “I know, right.” Then he frowned. “Hold on……” he leaned in close to Cas, so close their noses were almost touching. “…..are you blushing?”

That only made Cas blush worse. “No.”

Dean’s face lit up. “You ARE! You are so totally blushing!”

“Dean, shut up.”

“Nope. Bluuuuuushing,” he sang the word. 

“Oh my God I hate you SO MUCH!” And Cas attacked Dean, who simply laughed under the onslaught, letting Cas tackle him to the bed.

Sam just sighed, but he was smiling. “Well, if you two wanna order pizza or Chinese or something, I’ll be in the other room. And if you decide you’re gonna fuck, please keep it down.” He turned and left, ignoring Dean’s yell of “language!”

It was less than ten minutes before the two emerged. Dean had several new lovebites visible on his chest, but Sam kindly chose not to say anything.

“So…” Sam had spread out an array of take-out menus across the table. “What do you guys feel like?”

“Hmm.” Dean pondered the menus. “I want something Asian. Chinese or Japanese, I don’t care which.”

“I could do Japanese,” Sam said. Dean looked up.

“Cas? How bout you?”

Cas shrugged. “I’m easy.” Before he could continue Dean was cutting in, a huge grin on his face.

“Oh, ARE you?” Cas let out a long-suffering sigh. “Because if that’s the case, I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed. I thought what we had was special.”

“Dean?”

“Yea?”

“…..shut up.”

“Okay.”

Sam just shook his head at the two of them. “So does that mean you’re fine with Japanese, Cas?”

Cas threw a Look in Dean’s direction. “Yes.”

“Okay. Everyone choose what they want, then.”

Dean adamantly refused to pick up dinner. No matter how much he enjoyed driving, he wanted to spend a nice quiet night in. So they had delivery and spent the night flopped in front of the television, watching _‘Venture Brothers’_ and arguing over which episode was the best.

Finally, bedtime rolled around. Dean took Cas’ hand, tugging him down the hall towards his bedroom. 

“Dean!” Sam’s voice caught his attention before he had quite entered the room, and he turned at the sound of his name. Sam pointed at him. “Keep it down.”

Dean was immediately bright red. “Shut up!” he hissed back, rushing into his room and almost slamming the door shut. Because he hadn’t already been nervous enough.

Cas was sitting on his bed, looking at him with an arched brow. “Everything okay?”

Dean felt heat flood through him. Cas was there. On his bed. Soon to be IN his bed. Overnight. _Oh God_. Somehow he managed a nod. “Yea. Everything’s fine.”

Cas looked as if he wasn’t quite buying it, but he nodded. “Okay.” Then he smiled and patted the bed beside him. “Come to bed.” It was half question, half order, and Dean was instantly weak in the knees with desire and need and oh fuck. He was somehow by the bed, having crossed the room without registering it, and then he was in Castiel’s lap, straddling his waist, cupping his face as they kissed almost desperately.

“Cas,” he managed breathlessly in between kisses. He was still shirtless but Cas was fully clothed and that seemed completely unfair. His hands fumbled, catching the bottom of Castiel’s shirt and tugging it up and Cas complied, lifting his arms so Dean could pull the shirt up and off, tossing it aside. The bedside lamp was still on and Dean pulled back far enough so that he could take in Cas’ bared skin, each glorious inch illuminated by the glow of the lamp. Cas was pale, his skin a gorgeous ivory, and God was he beautiful. He didn’t let Dean admire him for long, though; quickly he was kissing Dean again, hand fisting in Dean’s short hair as he pulled him into another deep, desperate kiss, and then Dean found himself being flipped over, their positions reversed as Cas rolled Dean beneath him, pinning him to the mattress.

“Cas,” Dean moaned the name. He could feel Castiel hard against him. Clearly Cas could feel it, too, for he rutted down against Dean, their cocks rubbing together. _Fuck._ Dean had never felt anything like this. His hands ran down Cas’ bare back, fingernails raking over the naked skin, and over Castiel’s backside, digging in and pulling him down so their groins came into even closer contact. Cas threw back his head at that, gasping. The action exposed his throat and Dean took advantage of it, leaning in to latch his mouth onto all that glorious flesh, nipping and sucking, determined to leave a mark that would show everyone who Cas belonged to.

Cas was pressing down against Dean, hips rolling in steady rocking motions, but it wasn’t enough. He reached between them, hand frantically undoing the ties on Dean’s pajama pants and tugging them down, fumbling to get his own pants off as well, shoving them down to his knees.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice was breathy, full of need. He didn’t know what Cas was doing but unlike with Balthazar, he trusted him. He knew that whatever happened was going to be good. Cas would _make_ it good. He would never push Dean farther than he was ready to go.

Cas kissed him, nipping his lower lip and tugging gently in a way that made Dean whimper. Then he was spitting into his hand, slicking it, and he reached between them and took both of their cocks in hand and _oh God_ ….

Dean couldn’t help the way his hands dug into Castiel’s shoulders, so hard it would probably bruise. “Cas!”

“Shh.” Cas kissed him. “I’ve got you.” He began moving his hand, stroking them together, slowly increasing the pace of his hand. “C’mon, baby. Move with me.”

Dean was losing control. Cas was carefully taking him apart piece by piece and yet he knew that when all of this was done, Cas would just as carefully put him back together. He blinked up at Cas, trying to focus. Those blue eyes were smiling down at him, so full of love and yet hazy with lust and need. “Move with me,” he whispered again, voice encouraging. And his thumb traced over the tip of Dean’s cock, teasing through the precum there, and after that, Dean couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. His hips snapped up. Cas cried out. “FUCK! _Fuck_. Yeah. Just like that.” He rolled down to meet Dean’s thrusts. “Just like that, Dean.”

It was as if something had snapped in Dean. He continued moving, fucking up into Cas’ fist, both of them rutting together as if the world would stop if they did. Cas was sucking marks onto his chest and neck, Dean’s name a breathy moan upon his lips. “Dean….oh God, Dean, I love you.”

And somehow, that was what did it for Dean. Even more than the feel of Cas’ hand on his cock, the sensation of them moving together, all that hot smooth skin, or Cas’ mouth trailing over his throat. It was hearing Cas say “I love you” that pushed him over the edge and he came, arms wrapped tight around Cas as he screamed his name. Seconds later his mouth was covered by Castiel’s in a bruising kiss and he felt something hot and wet spatter against his stomach. Then Cas collapsed atop him, that weight somehow so comfortable, and Dean didn’t know how things could get any better.

His body felt heavy, yet he somehow lifted a hand to run his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Amazing,” he murmured.

“Hmm?” Cas sounded completely incoherent.

“Absolutely _amazing_.” 

There was a rustling and Cas propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at Dean. Whatever he saw there made him laugh and he stroked Dean’s hair, his cheek. “Yeah. You were.”

Dean was floating, too happy to blush. “I love you.”

Cas smiled. “I love you too.”

Dean turned his face into Cas’ palm and kissed it. He frowned slightly as if realizing something, then reached between them. His hand came up wet with cum. Raising his hand to his mouth, he licked his fingers clean. 

Cas had watched the entire proceedings with wide eyes; when Dean licked his fingers, he let out a groan, flopping on his back. “Dean…..don’t do that.”

“Why not?” Dean was suddenly worried he’d done something wrong.

“Because you’re just gonna get me all horny again.”

“…..oh.” Dean felt as if he should be embarrassed; instead, he grinned, leaning over Cas. “You like it when I do this?” And he repeated the maneuver. In a flash Cas had Dean pinned to the bed.

“Yes. Yes, I do. Now stop it.”

Dean just giggled in a way which would have embarrassed him under normal circumstances. “And if I don’t?”

Cas sighed. “Then you give your boyfriend a horrible case of blue balls and leave him horny and wanting all night.”

“Well. Can’t have that, now, can we.” Dean stroked Cas’ cheek, smiling. “I’ll stop.”

“Good. Thank you.” Cas gave Dean a kiss. “Maybe next time. When you’re ready for the consequences.”

Dean arched a brow, echoing “consequences?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. But watching you do that makes me want to do horribly dirty things to you.”

Dean flushed all the way to the tips of his ears. “Oh.”

Cas saw the blush and smiled. “Hey,” he said softly. “Nothing you’re not ready for. Ever. You know that, right?”

Dean smiled, nodding. “I do. I trust you.” He cupped the back of Cas’ head and pulled him into a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Cas looked around. “We should probably get cleaned up. I’ll go get us a towel.” He tugged his pants up and padded down the hall towards the bathroom, leaving Dean behind to think dreamily back on what had just happened. It had been amazing. Absolutely _amazing_. Nothing like what had happened with Balthazar. Nothing like what had happened with anyone he had ever been with, boy or girl.

There was a soft noise as Cas returned, shutting the door behind him. He smiled when he saw the expression on Dean’s face. “What,” he asked. “What’s that look for.”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing. Just….happy.”

Cas smiled. “Good. You deserve to be happy.” He carefully cleaned Dean up with a warm wet cloth, then set it aside on the nightstand. “We should sleep.”

Dean nodded his agreement, reaching for Cas. “Yea.” He let Cas have just enough time to turn out the bedside lamp before he pulled him into bed, snuggling up close. He couldn’t stop thinking over the last few minutes. Then he let out a loud groan, burrowing beneath his pillow.

“What. What is it?” Cas sounded truly worried and Dean knew he had to explain before Cas freaked out. But he was so embarrassed. 

“I was SO _LOUD!_ ”

There was a moment of silence, then Cas burst into laughter. “Yeah you were.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. It felt really fucking good. “It was damn sexy.”

That got Dean’s attention and he pulled his head far enough out from under the pillows to peer up at Cas. “Really?”

Cas nodded. “Fuck yeah.”

Dean smiled, but then the original reason behind the thought came back to him and he groaned again. “Sam’s gonna KILL me.”

Cas let out another bark of laughter. “Don’t worry about it. He can try. We’re both still taller. I’ll protect you.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “My big strong man.”

Cas stroked his hair, smiling. “Damn straight.” He leaned in, kissing Dean’s forehead. “Go to sleep, baby. I love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you too.” He snuggled up closer, settling in happily. Tonight had been amazing. Sam? Well, Sam he could deal with tomorrow.

At least he had Cas for backup. 

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO much thanks to those who reviewed! You really got me to put this one out faster!
> 
> And there's the smut that a certain SOMEONE (*cough cough starship_destiel cough cough*) has been waiting for. More to come, obviously, but there's the first bit of it.
> 
> Spent Saturday night in the ER! YAY! Not. But things seem like they might be evening out? Hopefully.
> 
> As always, reviews make my life happy! As would art.... >.> (No, I will never give up hope :P )
> 
> PS- in case anyone was wondering, they're playing Super Smash Brothers.


	19. By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nevermind the pain you feel within  
> I don't care as long as you are here by my side.  
> ~'Tell Me You Love Me', Neon Trees

Dean woke up to an arm thrown over his waist, legs tangled with his, and was momentarily confused. He had never woken with someone else in his bed before, but for Sam when they were very little kids. Then last night came back in a flash. He flushed bright red, a huge grin spreading over his face. He looked down at Cas, whose hair was a mess, long dark lashes beautiful against that pale skin. Dean couldn’t help it; he leaned in and kissed Cas.

Cas let out a noise of complaint at being woken. Dean chuckled. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Nooooo,” Cas whined.

Dean shook his head, grinning. “Not a morning person, huh.” Cas only let out another noise of displeasure. “I’m guessing this has something to do with you missing English our first day of school.”

At that, Cas cracked one blue eye open. “Missed out on your introduction, too.” Dean smiled.

“Didn’t miss much.”

Cas yawned, stretching. It was adorable. He reminded Dean of a sleepy kitten. “Heard that you like pie.”

Dean laughed. “Yea.”

“And that your books were stuck in your locker.”

Oh. Dean had nearly forgotten all about that. Cas was looking much more awake now as he watched Dean, an expectant look on his face. "You never did explain that."

Dean flushed slightly. But really, what was the harm in telling that story now? “Ah….yea. I sort of shut my scarf in my locker.”

“…..while you were wearing it?”

Dean nodded. “While I was wearing it. And I managed to get the scarf out but the locker wouldn’t open, and class was about to start, and it was the first day so I figured I probably wouldn’t need my books anyway. Totally wrong.”

Dean waited for the inevitable laughter. He didn’t have to wait long. A smile spread across Cas’ face; he burst into laughter. “Yea, yea,” Dean grumbled. “Laugh it up.”

“I wish I could’ve been there to see that,” Cas managed. “ _Did_ anyone see?”

“No, thank God. I’d had trouble finding my locker so there were only a few people left in the halls at that point, and none of them paid me any attention.”

Cas sighed as he caught his breath. “Oh man.” He shook his head, smiling. “You are such an adorable dork.”

Dean glowered. “I hate you.”

“You so do not.” Cas leaned in, giving him a soft, slow kiss. Dean pressed into the kiss, shifting closer; one of Cas’ hands wrapped around his waist, moving to pull Dean into his lap, but it was at that precise moment that Dean’s hunger chose to make itself known, his stomach growling. Cas broke away, laughing. “How bout we get something to eat?”

“Sounds good.” Dean shifted, slipping out of Cas’ lap and sliding off the bed, then he groaned. “Fuck. Sam.”

Cas’ brow furrowed in confusion, then realization set in. “Oh.”

“He’s gonna give me hell about last night.”

Cas watched as Dean tugged on a shirt. “You think he’ll be up right now?”

Dean nodded. “He’s always up at a ridiculously early hour.” He sighed. “Well, there’s no avoiding it.”

Cas rose, taking Dean’s hand with a smile. “Come on. Best get it over with.”

The two headed down the hall towards the kitchen. Amazingly, Sam wasn’t in sight. Dean sighed with relief. He knew it was probably better to get things over with rather than put it off, but he REALLY didn’t feel like putting up with Sam’s grumpiness at all. He grabbed a couple of bowls and the box of Fruit Loops, prepared to settle in for a nice, relaxing breakfast, when lo and behold, Sam entered the room, a glass of juice in one hand and a ridiculously unhappy expression on his face.

Dean steeled himself for what he knew was going to be a hell of a scolding. "Hey, Sammy."

Sam wrinkled his nose at Dean. "I thought I told you to keep it down." 

If Dean's face hadn't been red already, it would be now. "Sorry." He mumbled the apology into his Fruit Loops.

"That's actually more my fault," Cas interjected, grabbing the box of cereal.

Sam pulled a bitchface at him. "I know that. You don't think I was putting all the blame on Dean and you were getting off free, do you?"

"Actually, we both got off," Cas answered smoothly. Sam choked, nearly spitting juice across the table.

"GROSS! Dean!" But Dean was laughing now. Cas looked at him, eyes twinkling. Sam shook his head, thoroughly frustrated. "It’s like talking to children," he grumbled. Cas turned to Dean, grinning.

"I like him."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't encourage him. He thinks highly enough of himself as it is."

“Oh, look who’s talking.” Sam flicked a stray Fruit Loop across the table in Dean’s direction. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean suddenly noticed his father's boots by the front door and a thought occurred to him. "FUCK!" Cas was looking at him with worried, questioning eyes. "My dad!" He turned to Sam. "Do you think dad heard us?"

Sam shook his head. "No. Dude, chill. You think I wouldn't have lead with that? More likely, you think he wouldn't have come storming into your room?" 

Dean had to concede the point. "When did he even get home? Do you know?"

"Oh, our dear father stumbled in sometime around three." The dry sarcasm in Sam's voice was impossible to miss. "Means he should be awake by four and back at the bar in time for Happy Hour."

Dean felt a wave of sadness come over him: sadness for Sam having to live this way, with a father who was mostly absent and, when he was around, was either drunk or passed out. _It might be better if he just stayed away for good_. Dean felt guilty even thinking that but he wasn't sure.....maybe it would be.

Cas still looked concerned. “Should I…..should I leave before he gets up?”

“No!” Dean winced internally at how abruptly that came out. “I mean….please stay. I don’t want you to go.”

All the worry faded from Castiel’s face and he smiled. “That’s all you have to say.”

Sam snorted in the background. “Maaarried,” he sang under his breath. The two both ignored him.

“Well,” Dean said. “How about the three of us put on a movie or something? Have a nice, quiet day? Then I can cook dinner later tonight.”

Cas’ face lit up. “Really? You’ll really cook dinner?”

Dean’s cheeks were tinged ever so slightly pink. “Yea. I’m not sure what we have in the house but I’m sure I can whip something up.”

Cas was smiling. “I’d like that. _Love_ it.”

“Well then that’s what we’ll do.” Dean looked to his brother. “What do you think, Sammy? Any requests?”

Sam had perked up as soon as Dean had mentioned cooking. “Can you make lasagna?”

Dean laughed at the excitement in Sam’s voice. “If we have the ingredients.”

“I’ll go buy them if we don’t.”

That only made Dean laugh more, shaking his head. “If you want it that badly, I can drive you to the store.” He looked to Cas. “Lasagna okay?”

Castiel smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

“Okay. Let’s make a store run, then, cuz I’m pretty sure we don’t have any hamburger, and lasagna is infinitely better with meat.”

Sam was at the door in an instant, yanking his shoes on. Dean and Cas had to get dressed first. Dean shoved his wallet into his back pocket, slipping his shoes on.

“Here.”

Dean looked up and there was Cas, holding out the blue scarf, gently winding it around Dean’s neck. He felt his heart beat faster; he grabbed Cas’ jacket and tugged him into a kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered. Cas smiled.

“I love you too.”

“Hey.” Sam’s voice echoed down the hall. “Are you two coming?”

Cas huffed a laugh. “Guess we’d better go.” Dean nodded, taking Cas’ hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze before tugging him down the hallway to where Sam was waiting impatiently.

“Okay, Sammy, come on. Let’s go to the store.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean was incredibly nervous the entire time he cooked. He had made this dish more times than he could count but that didn’t matter. He had never made it for Cas. As such, he was completely on edge, not taking his eyes off the oven where it was almost done cooking. 

“Hey, you two pick out a movie yet?” he called over his shoulder. 

“Almost!”

Dean shook his head, smiling. Sam could be almost as particular about films as he was; he would bet Sam and Cas were debating the pros and cons of various movies. Finally, the oven beeped as the lasagna finished and he slipped on a pair of oven mitts, carefully pulling the dish out.

He could hear the two boys reenter the room; Cas came up behind him, slipping his arms around Dean’s waist. “That smells _heavenly_.” Dean blushed.

“Hope it tastes just as good.”

“It will,” Sam assured. “It’ll taste _better_.”

Dean smiled at his brother’s absolute faith. “What’d you two pick out?”

Sam held up the case. _'The Imposters.’_ Cas hasn’t seen it.”

“OH MY GOD.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. I just got read the riot act from your brother.”

“You can’t be yelled at enough for not seeing this movie. It’s fantastic.” Dean pulled three plates out of the cupboard, then hesitated for a second before pulling out a fourth. John should be up soon….he may as well make up a plate for him. “You’ll love it.”

“I’d better, after both of you talking it up so much.”

Smiling, Dean pressed a plate of lasagna into Cas’ hands. “You will. Promise.” Then he spun Cas about, giving him a little shove in the direction of the living room. “Now go sit!”

Laughing, Cas obeyed. “Okay, okay!” He vanished into the other room, Sam following suit. Dean finished making up a plate for his dad, covering it with plastic wrap and putting it in the microwave to keep it warm, then joined Sam and Cas in the den.

Sinking into a beanbag chair beside Cas, he looked to Sam, raising a brow. “Did you put the film in?”

Sam nodded. “All set.” He pushed play, the credits beginning to roll. Dean looked to Cas.

“…..you’re not eating.”

“Wanted to wait till you were in the room.” Cas took a bite while Dean waited, nervousness running rampant through him. But then Cas’ face dissolved into a look of pure pleasure and every bit of anxiety faded away. “Dean, this is AMAZING!”

“Yea? You really like it?”

“Dean, I LOVE it.”

Dean’s own plate lay forgotten in his lap; Cas’ praise had erased all hunger from his mind. “I’m glad.” 

Cas leaned in, claiming a kiss. “You continue to amaze me.” Dean blushed.

“Shut up.”

“BOTH of you shut up,” Sam said. “We’re gonna miss the movie.”

That made both Dean and Cas laugh. Cas poked Dean. “Eat. You need food, too.”

Oh. That’s right. He turned his attention to his own plate and yea, he hadn’t lost his touch, if he did say so himself.

The opening credits were just finishing when there came the sound of a door opening. Shit. John Winchester appeared in the doorway and Dean was on his feet in an instant, setting his plate on the coffee table. “Hey, dad.”

“Hello, Dean.” John looked around at the three of them. “Sam.” But it was clearly Cas who caught his attention the most. “Who’s this.”

Cas rose. “Castiel Novak, sir.” He offered his hand. John looked somewhat more approving at the sound of that ‘sir’, and he accepted the handshake. “I’m in class with Dean.”

“Nice to meet you, son.”

Dean cleared his throat. “There’s lasagna in the microwave for you, dad.”

That definitely piqued John’s attention. “Oh? You’re finally cooking again?” Dean’s face burned. True, it had been a while since he had cooked, but that’s only because John had been hauling them from place to place, and Dean had been too tired and too frustrated to make anything more than boxed dinners.

“Yes,” he answered stiffly. “I’m cooking again.”

John nodded. “Smells good.” He vanished into the kitchen and they could hear the microwave as he reheated his dinner. For some reason none of them moved to resume the film; it was as if John’s presence had frozen time. When the microwave beeped to signal it was done, John reappeared, plate in hand. “Tastes good, son.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be heading out in a bit. Going to go see Ellen and Bobby.”

Now THAT was a surprise. Dean wasn’t used to their father having anything resembling real friends….just bar friends. Though he supposed having known Ellen before moving to town sort of made things easier. “Tell them we say hi? Jo too.”

John nodded. “Will do.” He nodded at Cas. “Nice to meet you, Castiel.” He only stumbled slightly over the name, which was impressive.

“You too, sir.” The words were spoken to John’s retreating back as he disappeared to his bedroom, the door shutting behind him. Dean sank to the floor beside Cas once again, his lasagna forgotten, half finished. Sam and Cas were both watching him silently. Sam clearly knew exactly where his mind was, having seen this same scenario with their father far too many times. He exchanged glances with Cas, who took Dean’s hand.

“Dean.” Dean didn’t answer. Cas squeezed his hand gently. “Dean.” He stroked Dean’s cheek, gently turning his face so he could properly look at Dean. “Hey.” Dean finally looked at him and Cas smiled. “You okay?” The words were soft.

“Yea,” Dean answered at last. “Yea. Just….” He looked away. “He’s an asshole.”

Sam snorted, which got Dean’s attention. “Tell us something we don’t know.” That made Dean smile.

“Well,” and he looked to Cas again. “You’ve met the infamous John Winchester. Thoughts?”

Cas cocked his head and squinted his eyes, pretending to give the matter great thought, then looked to Dean. “Underwhelming.” Dean burst into laughter, Cas grinning. “Especially if he’s going to give you a hard time about your cooking. This lasagna is nothing short of godly.” And with that, he ran his finger through the lasagna Dean had left on the table and then wiped it in one long swipe down Dean’s nose. Dean stared at him with huge eyes.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing??” His tone was one of over-exaggerated indignation. “Wasting my lasagna like that!”

“Hey, you weren’t eating it….”

“So you decided to put it on my face??”

“Well, I had several other far more interesting uses for it, but Sam’s in the room.”

“Yes,” Sam interjected, “Sam IS in the room. So can we please steer clear of certain topics of conversation?”

Cas grinned at Dean, who just shook his head. “Dork,” he muttered, grabbing the napkin out of Castiel’s lap and wiping his face clean. “Okay, Sammy, let’s get this party started.”

Sam obediently pressed play again and Dean shifted closer to Cas, determined not to let his father ruin his night. 

Still, when John Winchester left that evening, Dean was relieved. Freed now from worrying about his father catching them in the act, Dean snuggled into Cas’ arms. His belly was full of delicious food, he was watching one of the greatest comedic films ever made, and he had his brother and Cas; what more did he need?

 

**~*~**

 

“Thanks for staying this weekend.”

Cas smiled at Dean. “Thanks for having me.” It was 10 PM now. Dean had driven Cas home at last and the two stood outside of the Novak house, unwilling to say goodnight. It was at that part of autumn where it was caught between warm and cold, the leaves almost all on the ground but the frost not quite set in yet, and tonight was rather wet. In fact, as they stood by the Impala, it began to rain.

“Dammit,” Cas said, looking up at the sky. Dean frowned at him.

“What. What’s wrong?”

“Rain.”

Dean was just staring, waiting. “….what’s wrong with rain?”

“Well now I have to go inside,” Cas complained. Dean looked surprised, then laughed.

“No you don’t.” A strange look came over his face as a thought occurred to him, then he smiled. “Here. Wait a minute.” He opened the door to the Impala, rolling down the window, then turned the car on just enough so he could play the radio. He fiddled with it until he found just the right station, swing music coming on, then he held out his arms to Cas. “C’mon.”

Cas just looked at Dean, surprised. “…..you……you want me to dance with you?”

“Yea!” Dean did a few steps, a little twirl. Cas laughed, delighted.

“I didn’t know you could swing dance!”

Dean grinned. “I am a man of many talents.”

Cas smiled. “I know. And I see it more and more every day.” Smiling, Dean held out his hands again. Cas bit his lip, unsure. “Dean, I really don’t know how to swing dance.”

“Cas, that doesn’t matter at all. You don’t need to know steps to have fun.” He took Castiel’s hands in his. “Besides.” And he twirled Cas in a little spin before pulling him close. “If you get tangled up, just tango on.”

Cas let out a burst of laughter. “Where did you get THAT?”

Dean grinned. “ _Scent of a Woman’_ with Al Pacino.”

Cas just shook his head, laughing. “You are amazing, you know that?”

Dean spun Cas again, smiling at him. “You tell me so daily.”

So the rain poured down, the wind blowing wet leaves around them as they danced together on that cool autumn night.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen 'Scent of a Woman', I suggest you do so at once. Absolutely BRILLIANT film, and the tango scene is one of my favorite scenes in any film ever.  
> And 'the Imposters' is one of the most amazing and least known films I've ever seen. Written and directed by Stanley Tucci and costarring Oliver Platt, Tony Shaloub, Steve Buscemi, Allison Janney, Alfred Molina, Isabella Rossellini, and Billy Connolly (amongst others), it is probably THE funniest film I've ever seen.
> 
> In case you haven't caught on, I enjoy giving Dean quirky little skills. Knitting, cooking, dancing. I think the cooking at least would make sense after having to raise Sam, but I'd like to imagine him growing to love it and teaching himself to make lots of really fancy dishes. So enter tons of random Dean quirks. Who knows what others will emerge.^^


	20. I Love You, But

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you but I hate your friends.  
> They're all desperate.  
> If you knew what I know would you be ready to go?  
> All this emptiness would end.  
> ~'I Love You (But I Hate Your Friends)', Neon Trees

Dean came into school Monday morning with a renewed sense of purpose and a happiness he hadn’t felt in…..well……maybe not since Sam’s first words as a baby had been Dean’s name. And sitting in English class with Cas beside him? It only heightened his joy.

Meg, on the other hand….these past few weeks, nay, this past month, she had been relatively good at leaving the two alone. Dean would wager Michael had been responsible for that. Even though Dean didn’t really care for the guy, he WAS good at preventing dissention in the ranks, as it were, and he seemed eager to keep Meg and Dean from fighting. But nothing could stop her from her rage today…..not when she saw the marks Dean had left upon Cas’ neck. True, she didn’t know that Dean was the one responsible (and if she had, it was highly likely Dean would be on the floor, with Meg trying to claw his eyes out), but that didn’t do a thing to suppress her anger.

Dean, on the other hand, was wearing his scarf as usual, so all marks were hidden. This was a very good thing, considering he was WAY more bruised than Cas was. Cas had taken far too great a pleasure in marking up all that naked skin, and Dean’s throat was a fucking train wreck. Sam had looked horrified upon seeing it. “Keep your scarf on,” he had ordered.

“I thought you said I look silly wearing it indoors,” Dean had teased with an arched brow. Sam had simply shook his head, looking exasperated.

“Better silly than like you got mauled by a wild animal.”

Dean had laughed at that. “It’s not THAT bad.”

“It so totally is.” Sam wrapped the scarf tighter about Dean’s neck, making sure every bruise was covered. “Scarf on.”

So Dean had obeyed and now here he was in English class, both he and Cas studiously trying not to pay any more attention to each other than usual. It was extremely difficult after all that had happened that weekend, but Mrs. Harrison was discussing Shakespearean sonnets and that was ALWAYS a favorite topic of Dean’s. Still, his mind kept wandering to the discussion they had had before class…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dean had arrived at class early, and amazingly, Cas was there waiting, sitting at Dean’s desk. “Oi.”

Cas smiled up at him. “Problem?”

“Yea. You’re in my seat.” Dean dropped his bag to the floor beside his desk; Cas rose from the chair. 

“I was waiting for you.”

“Well, here I am.” Dean had to use every inch of willpower to resist pulling Cas into his arms and kissing him. To avoid it, he sank into his chair, smiling up at Cas. “What is it you wanted of me?”

A look flitted across Cas’ face; clearly those words had exactly the effect Dean had intended them to have. “Oh, you have no _idea_ how many things I want of you,” he said softly. “But mainly, to talk.”

Dean nodded to his desk, indicating Cas take a seat. “Sit.”

Cas did as Dean suggested, sitting on the edge of the desk. “I wanted to talk….” Whatever it was he wanted to say, it was clear that it was making him nervous. “……to talk about this situation.”

Dean’s brows shot up. “Situation?” he echoed.

“Our situation. Our relationship.” Cas reached out, a fingertip dipping just below Dean’s scarf to where he knew the marks were. Dean smiled at the touch.

“Are we gonna tell everyone?” The thought filled him with anxious butterflies, but they were happy, excited.

Cas’s face was tight, sad. “….Dean……” He sighed. “I don’t think we should.”

Dean was completely taken aback. “What? Why?”

“Because….” Clearly Cas didn’t know how to phrase his words. “Because of you. Because of what the news could do to your standing here at school. On the soccer team.” Dean opened his mouth to object but Cas continued. “I _want_ to tell everyone, believe me, I do. But for now…..I think we should keep it a secret.”

Dean’s face had crumpled; Cas’ heart ached to see it. "But I don't WANT to."

Cas looked so very pained. "Neither do I! But Dean....soccer. You're good. You're so good. You could get a college scholarship and you _know_ it. But not if you're in a confirmed homosexual relationship. Most schools don't go in for that."

And as much as it hurt, Dean knew Cas was right. Still.... "….so what, then...we just pretend I'm straight until I get accepted into college and _then_ what? Cuz it’s not like I can just come out once I'm on the team. I'd have to keep playing straight and I can't DO that, Cas. I can't. I _need_ you."

Dean's words melted Cas. He hadn't even thought about what would happen in college, but Dean was right. "....I...." He bit his lip. "You're right. You're totally right." Still.... "...maybe just for a while longer?" Dean looked as if he wanted to object but Cas barreled on. "You said college scouts have been coming by to watch you guys, right? Well if you don't play, they can't see you. And if Adler finds out about us, he'll most likely kick you off the team. So just...give it a while longer. Let everyone see what you can do. THEN we'll show them." He cupped Dean's cheek, smiling. "Show everyone I belong to you."

Dean was smiling now, clearly satisfied with Cas' solution. "And I you."

Cas chuckled. “We are a pair of pathetically sappy bastards.”

Dean dared to reach out and stroke Castiel’s cheek. “I don’t care. I love you. And as soon as I can, I’m gonna show them that. Show _everyone_.”

Cas turned into Dean’s palm, kissing it. “Yeah. We will.”

There was a sound behind them and they pulled apart, but it was only Mrs. Harrison. Clearly she had seen them for she raised a brow at their actions. They were silent, waiting, unsure of her reaction, but then she smiled and Dean flushed crimson. Cas smiled to see it, to see how embarrassed Dean was to have his favorite teacher catch him in such a romantic act. “Dork,” Cas whispered.

“Shut up!” Dean hissed back. Laughing, Cas slipped off of the desk, moving to his own chair just as the other students began flooding in.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So it had been an interesting morning, to say the least. Now Dean was waiting outside his locker for Charlie to meet him for lunch.

She came bounding up, a brilliant array of colors, red and yellow and holy shit, turquoise pants? “Hi!”

“Hey.” He looked her up and down, taking in the entire ensemble. “Nice pants.”

“Thanks.” She thrust something at him. “Here.”

Blinking, he took it. “….Charlie…..is this….” She nodded, smiling. 

Dean recalled how, the first day they’d had lunch together, Charlie had commented that, until Dean had found a vintage lunchbox, she would make him one, and it appeared that here it was. In his hands was a lunchbox, but not just ANY lunchbox. It was the same size and shape as a normal lunchbox, but it was collaged, a mess of photos and words of different things that Dean liked, _Doctor Who_ , James Dean, Shakespeare….. Clearly Charlie had bought a normal lunchbox from the store and then cut out clippings of all these different things she knew Dean loved, then spent hours meticulously gluing them onto the lunchbox.

Dean looked up at her wordlessly. “……Charlie….” She was smiling at him. “You….you _made_ this?”

Charlie nodded at him. “It’s a Charlie Bradbury Original.”

He was overcome, unable to find a thing to say. Finally, he threw his arms around her, hugging her tight. “Charlie.” His face was buried in her hair. “Thank you,” he whispered. “This…..this is _amazing_.”

Dean could hear her huff a tiny laugh. “You’re welcome.”

He pulled away, looking into her smiling face. “You’re so awesome. Seriously. This? No one has ever done anything like this for me. _Ever_.”

“Yeah well you’re awesome. You deserve it.”

Smiling, Dean popped open the lunchbox and placed his brown bagged lunch inside, making Charlie laugh. “There we go. Everything in its rightful place.”

Grinning, Charlie linked her arm with him. “C’mon, Winchester. Let’s get to lunch.”

 

**~*~**

 

When Dean and Charlie reached the cafeteria, the rest of the group was already there. He slid into his usual spot next to Cas, who was still being glared at by Meg, with Charlie sitting down beside him.

Benny arched a brow when he caught sight of Dean’s new lunchbox. “Where’d THAT come from?

Dean’s smile grew. “Charlie made it for me.”

“She MADE it?” Cas grabbed it, pulling it closer. His eyes roved over it, taking in every detail. “Charlie, this is amazing!”

Charlie was flushing happily. “Thanks, guys.”

Even Bela was examining it, smiling as she traced a familiar logo. “Got the Beatles on here.”

Dean smiled back at her. “Can’t forget the Beatles.”

Then, Cas noticed the one detail Dean would have been happy if he had missed. “What’s _this_ for?” One finger tapped on a photo of a ball of yarn, a pair of knitting needles. Dean immediately turned bright red.

“Ah…..” a lie quickly leapt to his lips. “My mom. My mom used to knit.”

“You never told me that.” Cas looked surprised and vaguely hurt, and Dean immediately felt guilty, but he wasn’t ready yet to tell Cas that he knitted. He HAD picked the skill back up rather easily and had been steadily knitting on the days he spent alone with Charlie. The two would watch _Doctor Who_ and Dean would work on knitting Cas a scarf, which he intended to give him as a Christmas present. _Not long now_ , he promised silently. _I’ll tell you soon_.

“Yea.” Dean gave Cas an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

But Cas smiled, and it was clear that he wasn’t truly upset; Dean returned the smile, relieved. “Don’t be.”

Meg was looking between the two of them, suspicious, and Dean looked away. It wouldn’t do to let her catch on to what was between the two of them. Charlie seemed to get the same idea for she spoke up suddenly, changing the subject.

“So, Dean,” her tone was conversational. He raised a brow at her. “About that Halloween party.”

He just looked at her. He wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but he didn’t know that he’d like it. After all, that party hadn’t ended well for him. “Yea?”

“Dude…..your little sister is HOT!” 

Dean choked. He had been so caught up in the other events of the night, his drunkenness and adventures with Cas, that he had _completely_ forgotten that Charlie had met Jo. 

“ _Charlie!_ ”

“What?”

“You didn’t…..you didn’t DO anything with her, did you?”

Charlie looked offended. “Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, stupid question.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe you.”

“What?” Charlie looked as if she couldn’t believe Dean didn’t understand her attraction.

“She’s only 14, Charlie. I’ve got two words for you: Jail. Bait.”

“ _I’m_ only 17!”

Dean gave Charlie a look. “You’ll be 18 soon enough.”

“You are no fun whatsoever.” Charlie poked at her food. “Besides, it’s not like I could knock her up or anything.”

Michael choked on his Pepsi; Benny began patting him on the back to help him with the coughing. Dean grinned. “Easy there, Mikey.”

“For the record,” Ash spoke up, “let it be known that I am fully in support of the lesbian relationship, legal or not.”

“Thank you, Ash,” Charlie said, tossing Dean a smug smile.

“No problem, senorita.”

Dean just shook his head, grinning. “You two are impossible.” He took a sip of his soda. 

Meg was still staring. It was starting to worry him. He didn’t know how she would suspect anything between him and Cas, but he didn’t know why else she would be so attentive. Still, he could think of nothing else to do but stare right back, meeting her gaze with equal dislike and intensity.

Suddenly, there was a clatter as a can tipped over and he felt something cold and wet drip onto him. 

Lucas had tipped over his soda and it had poured across the table, spilling all the way into Dean’s lap. But that wasn’t what concerned him. No, what concerned him, what sent panic running through every inch of his body, was the sight of that dark brown Pepsi soaking into the fabric of his scarf.

Dean was on his feet in in an instant. “FUCK!” He was vaguely aware of Castiel’s stricken face, the amusement in Meg’s eyes. “ _FUCK!_ ”

“What’s the problem,” Lucas asked, totally unconcerned. “It’s just a scarf. It can be washed.”

“It is NOT just a scarf-” Dean began hotly, as Cas simultaneously growled “Lucas SHUT. UP.”

Lucas did in fact, shut up, but laughter was twinkling in his eyes. Dean could still feel panic overwhelming him and he tried to suppress it, to hold it all within. But it was Gordon, normally silent Gordon, who put the nail in the coffin. Those usually dead eyes were alive for once, a cold smile gracing his lips as he said “hey, Jude, don’t make it bad.”

That was it. That was more than Dean could handle. His vision whited out and without even knowing what he was doing he was diving across the table, his fist crashing into Gordon’s face. He was dimly aware of shouting in the background as the cafeteria went into an uproar, as Castiel cried for him to stop. He felt hands on him, Cas trying to stop him, to pull him off, but it was all so far away. All he could truly hear was his mother, her voice softly singing ‘ _Hey Jude_ ’ as she held him close, remember walking hand in hand with her in the winter as she wore that blue scarf. And now Lucas had ruined his scarf, and Gordon had tainted his song. 

Dean’s eyes were burning, tears streaming down his face as he continued to rain down punches. Finally he felt more hands on him, Cas and Benny working together to pull him off of Gordon, who scrambled to his feet, fury in his eyes.

“What is going on in here?!” The principal had finally registered the commotion and was striding towards them. Well, THAT couldn’t be anything good.

Benny stepped protectively in front of Dean. All the fight seemed to have gone out of him and he was a sobbing mess. Cas pulled him close, Charlie wrapping an arm around him as well.

Principal Moseley stopped in front of them. “Well?” she demanded.

Immediately, Ash pointed at Gordon. “Gordon started it.” Without a pause, Benny, Charlie, and Cas all nodded in agreement.

Moseley looked at Gordon, whose nose was bleeding profusely and whose eye was already beginning to swell. “….then why exactly does he look like he got the worst of it?”

Charlie glanced at Cas, not exactly certain what to say. But then, amazingly, Bela spoke up. “Because he was the one who provoked everything. Without him, there wouldn’t have been a fight.” Cas looked at her in surprise, amazed that she was standing up for Dean and not the friend she’d known all her life. “And because Dean is a much better fighter.”

Principal Moseley looked back and forth between the two boys. Clearly she wasn’t quite certain who to believe, but the fact that five people (Ash, Benny, Charlie, Cas, and Bela) stood for Dean, and only Meg, Lucas, and Ruby stood for Gordon (Michael, ever one to avoid conflict, seemed unwilling to say anything at all) seemed to push her more in Dean’s favor. On top of that, Gordon just seemed angry whereas Dean was an emotional wreck. If anyone seemed more likely to be the initiator of a fight, it was the rage-fueled Gordon.

“Both of you are to go home for the day,” she said. “Any further trouble from either of you and you’ll be suspended, you understand?”

Gordon didn’t answer, glaring at Dean with eyes that could bore through a person. Ruby elbowed him hard. “Yes.” He practically spat the word out, never taking his eyes off of Dean.

Dean, on the other hand, was still far too upset to hear a word the principal was saying. Cas hugged him closer, rubbing his arms, and looked to Moseley. “I’ll tell him later,” he promised.

Moseley nodded. She seemed to understand that Dean was upset and needed time. “Take him home.”

“I will.” Cas took Dean by the hand, whispering softly to him “come on, Dean.” Amazingly, Dean complied, following. They paused by Sam’s table and Cas moved to take off Dean’s scarf. Dean immediately panicked.

“No!” His hands flew to the scarf, holding it tightly in place. Cas hushed him softly.

“Hey….it’s okay. We’re just going to give it to Sam, okay? He’s going to take it to the dry cleaner’s……have them fix it up. Make sure it doesn’t stain. Okay?” Dean stared at Cas, the words slowly sinking in. “Just going to give it to Sam.”

Slowly, Dean released the scarf and Cas gently unwound it, handing it carefully to Sam. “Take this to the dry cleaner’s on Saybrook Road, okay? The name is ‘Pip Boys’. I’ll pay for it.”

Sam nodded, accepting the scarf. “I’ll do it right after school.”

“Thank you.” Cas paused. “They may tell you it doesn’t need anything. Just tell them it’s from Castiel Novak. So whatever it needs, whether it’s just a bit of cold water or if it needs a full cleaning job, tell them I said to do it. And it had better come back in absolutely perfect condition. Make certain they know that. Castiel Novak wants it back in perfect condition.” Sam was now looking at Cas with wide eyes, as if unsure how to feel about those words, but he nodded. Cas looked at Dean. He hadn’t calmed down at all. “I’m gonna take him home now.”

“Okay.” Cas moved to go, but Sam stopped him. “Hey, Cas?” He managed a tiny smile, despite the situation. “Thanks.”

Cas nodded and with that, he guided Dean from the school, heart breaking more and more every second he heard Dean cry.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize SUPREMELY for the crazy angsty ending, but if it didn't cut here then it would have been a 40 page chapter. And I've been trying to keep them down to around 10 pages on average, which is what lets me keep posting on schedule. 
> 
> And to make it up to you, the next chapter is twenty pages of almost nothing but smut. So look forward to that!^^
> 
> And if anyone knows what 'Pip Boys Cleaners' is from, you win SO many points in my book. Also: I live on Saybrook Road. But there is no Pip Boys Cleaners there. Just me. And some llamas. No, I am not kidding about the llamas.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You could turn away from here,  
> Put your faith into the atmosphere  
> While I sing sing sing you to sleep. 
> 
> There's a room where we can go  
> where nobody else will follow.  
> Put all of your trust in me  
> and I will give you mine. 
> 
> Nevermind the consequence of sin.  
> Nevermind the pain you feel within.  
> I don't care as long as you are here by my side.  
> ~'Tell Me You Love Me', Neon Trees

It was several hours before Dean awoke. His head was pounding, his eyes stinging and puffy from so much crying. He was confused at first, not even remembering how he had gotten to bed. It was all so vague. As soon as Gordon had said those words, his entire mind had practically gone blank with rage, and he had only been slightly aware of Castiel’s arms around him, of being led from the room. He thought he could remember Cas fishing in his pockets for his keys, driving Dean home in the Impala and carefully tucking him into bed, wiping his tears away.

Dean turned, looking for Cas, and there he was in the chair nearby, knees to his chin, feet tucked beneath him as he read Dean’s copy of _‘Fahrenheit 451’_. His blue eyes had glanced up as soon as Dean had stirred and were now fixated on the other boy. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” Dean pushed himself up to a sitting position. Cas looked concerned, so very very concerned, and Dean felt guilt spreading through him. “I’m sorry.”

Cas was surprised. “For what?”

Dean shrugged uneasily. “Being a nuisance.” Cas’ eyes narrowed immediately.

“Dean, shut up. You are NOT a nuisance. You reacted in a perfectly rational way.”

It warmed Dean to know that his ridiculously extreme reaction somehow seemed rational in Castiel’s eyes. He pulled his own knees up to his chest as he thought of Gordon, that mocking smile on his face. “Your friends are assholes,” Dean grumbled, even though he supposed that, from a certain standpoint, they could be construed as his friends as well. 

Cas nodded in agreement.

“I know.”

The response somewhat surprised Dean. He knew that Cas was easily irritated by their superficial ways, but he still hung out with them, had been friends with them before Dean had showed up, so there had to be SOMETHING there. “So why do you like them?”

“Why do YOU?”

“I don’t!”

The answer didn’t seem to surprise Cas so much as to give him an excuse to ask a question which he clearly had been dying to ask for a long time now. “Then why do you hang out with them?”

“So I can spend time with _you!_ ” The words exploded forth before Dean could stop them.

Cas was taken aback. “…..that’s really the only reason you hang out with them?”

Dean was blushing. “….well, Bela’s okay.”

Cas’ smile was growing into a full-fledged grin. “You do it just so you can spend time with me.”

Dean’s face was burning crimson red by now. “Yes. Shut up.”

“I will not.” Cas shifted over to the bed, sitting beside Dean. “You’re _wonderful_.” He cupped Dean’s cheek, thumb gently stroking the soft skin. “And as to all of _them_ ….” He paused as he tried to find words, and sighed. “I don’t know. I spent a lot of time alone before they found me. They came to me the same as they did to you, seeking me out cuz of the way I dressed. And I guess…..well, it was nice to not be the loser kid for once. For the first time, I had people wanting ME. And as superficial or conceited as that may make me, it felt really good. I liked that feeling. And I wanted it to stick around.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s not conceited.”

Cas smiled. “I’m glad you think so.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Besides….” His smile grew. “It let me meet you.”

Dean returned the smile. “Well, _obviously_ that’s the best part.”

“Obviously.” Cas’ smile faded and he shook his head. “Gordon, on the other hand…”

Dean pictured again that smile, those cold eyes. Usually Gordon was so silent. It would figure today would be the day he’d choose to open his mouth. Dean sighed. "He doesn't say much, but when he does its to the point." 

“Tell me about it.” Cas sat back against the headboard, tugging Dean into his arms, and they sat in silence as he continued to run his fingers through Dean’s short hair. After several minutes, Dean spoke up.

“You know, I think I may have a way to get back at him.”

“…oh?” 

“Well, not just _him_ ,” Dean amended. “ALL of them.”

Now Cas was DEFINITELY intrigued. “Tell me _everything_.”

The two sat together in bed, the troubles of the day nearly forgotten as Dean outlined his plan.

Cas was laughing as Dean finished. “Dean, this…..” Dean waited expectantly. “Well, it’s hardly _evil_ , but it’s awesome nonetheless.”

“You think?” Cas nodded. “Good. I’ve had it in mind for a while now but wasn’t sure if I should go through with it.”

“Definitely. Let’s do it tomorrow.”

“Yea?”

“Yeah. Call Charlie and Benny, get them in on it. Ash too.”

“Okay!” Dean looked so incredibly pleased that Cas approved of his idea.

Smiling, Cas pressed a gentle kiss to Dean’s mouth. “I love you,” he said softly.

Dean smiled back at him. “I love you, too.” He pressed closer, arms wrapping around Cas, face nuzzling into the junction of Cas’ throat, unable to look at him as he whispered, “Thank you so much for all you did today.”

“Hey, hey,” Cas gently pulled Dean from his hiding place, hand cupping his chin, forcing Dean to look at him. “You have nothing to thank me for. You’re mine, and I love you, and I will always take care of you. ALWAYS.”

Dean’s eyes were burning, those hot pinpricks of tears. He smiled, heart wanting to beat its way right out of his chest. “I love you,” he managed.

Cas smiled. “I love you, too.”

There was a soft knocking on the door. “Dean?” Sam poked his head in, worry written plainly on every inch of his face. 

Dean smiled. “Heya, Sammy.”

Seeing Dean’s smile slightly eased Sam’s concern; he entered the room. “I’ve got your scarf.”

Dean’s face lit up; he held out his arms for it. “Is it….is it okay?” His eyes roved every inch, searching for any blemish.

Sam smiled as he watched his brother. “It’s perfect. Cas had me take it to this place he knows and they fixed it right up.” He glanced at Cas. “They gave me a hard time about it, too, just like you said. Said it barely needed any attention, but they did listen up when they heard your name.” He raised a brow. “Why is that?”

“Why is what?” Cas was so filled with warmth as he watched Dean, so happy to have his scarf back unharmed. 

“The way you had me bring them the scarf….having me tell them ‘you WILL clean this for me. Castiel Novak wants it done.’ Who ARE you, Don Corleone?”

Cas’ brow furrowed, his face falling into that puzzled head tilt that Dean found so adorable. “Who?”

Sam stared, eyes huge. “Do NOT tell me you haven’t seen _‘the Godfather’_.” Cas simply continued to look at him with that puzzled expression; Sam heaved a sigh, shaking his head. “Dude. How are you and Dean even dating?”

Cas opened his mouth to retort but then arms snaked around him and he found himself pulled back against Dean’s chest. “What he lacks in pop culture knowledge he makes up for in sheer overwhelming adorableness,” Dean answered.

Sam gagged. “Ug. And _that’s_ my cue to leave.”

“Thanks for the scarf, Sammy!” Dean called cheerfully after him. 

Cas turned to face Dean, a brow arched as he echoed “adorableness?”

Dean grinned. “Adorableness,” he confirmed.

Cas pretended to give the matter great thought. “Well,” he said at last. “I guess I can work with that.”

“Well, you’ll have to.” Dean carefully set his scarf aside and lay back, tugging Castiel down atop him. “It suits you.”

“Does it.”

“Mmhm.” Dean traced Cas’ brow. “Those big blue eyes…..fucking _gorgeous_.”

Cas felt the first stirrings of heat curl through him. “Gorgeous isn’t the same as adorable,” he pointed out.

“No,” Dean agreed. “But you’re both.” Now that he had started, he seemed unable to stop, captivated by Castiel’s eyes; he couldn’t look away. “Your hair…..you always look like you just rolled out of bed after some incredible fucking.”

Cas laughed. “ _That’s_ adorable?”

Dean considered. “Okay, no, that’s sexy. But your bedhead is still adorable.”

“Mmm..” Cas hummed. “I think my hair’s a little _too_ tidy at the moment.”

“….huh?” Dean was still too caught up in Cas to catch on right away.

“I think it could use a bit more…..messing up.”

Castiel’s suggestive tone and the look on his face finally registered. “OH.” The color immediately flooded to Dean’s cheeks, staining them crimson. “Oh. I. Oh.”

Cas waited as the words sank in, a smile on his face. “Interested?”

Dean’s nod was shaky but rapid, determined. “Yes. Yes, I….” He paused. “Fuck. Sam.”

Cas’ head fell to Dean’s chest. “Goddammit.” After a moment he rose from the bed, heading to the door. He could hear Dean behind him, worry in his voice as he asked “Cas? Cas, what are you doing?”

But Cas didn’t answer, simply headed into the kitchen, through to the living room where he found Sam in front of the television. “Hey, Sam.”

Sam looked up, worry on his face. “Is Dean okay?”

“Yeah, Dean’s fine. Though he’s…..” Cas sighed. “Okay, Sam, I’m gonna level with you. I’d like to blow Dean.”

Sam recoiled, looking horrified. “What the fuck are you telling me this for?!”

“Because you’re in the house and I wanted to give you ample opportunity to leave before it happened. But it’s going to happen one way or another. Your brother’s had a bad day and I REALLY think he deserves a good blowjob. So you can have either the trauma of hearing me tell you what’s GOING to happen or you can listen to it ACTUALLY happen. Your choice.” 

Sam stared, looking thoroughly displeased with his choices. Finally, with a noise of utter discontent, he shut off the TV and, grabbing a book, stormed out the front door. “Thank you!” Cas called after him.

Dean was still in bed when Cas returned, but now he was sitting up, waiting. “What was _that_ all about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Cas answered smoothly. He gently pushed Dean to lay back on the bed and crawled into his lap, straddling him. “I just told Sam that I was gonna suck your cock.”

“YOU _WHAT?!_ ”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction, a combination of horror and amusement. “Relax. He went outside to read a book.”

Dean was staring at Cas as though he couldn’t believe he were real. “You are thoroughly insane, you know that, right?”

“Mmhm.” Cas kissed Dean gently.

“So…..suck my cock, huh.” Dean was clearly aiming for nonchalance but there was nervousness in his voice, and it was all too easy to remember that this is as far as he had gone with Balthazar. Cas would have to tread carefully.

“Yup.” He looked at Dean, a hand cupping his face. “If that’s okay with you?”

The nerves were clear in Dean’s eyes, but so was the desire, the love, and Dean nodded. “Yea. I…..” His fingers gripped Cas’ shirt. “Kiss me?”

Cas smiled at the request, at how adorably nervous Dean was, and complied. His hands slipped beneath Dean’s shirt and tugged at it, and Dean pulled away, breaking the kiss to allow Cas to pull the shirt up and off. Just as before, Dean was a sight to behold. Cas wasted no time in pressing kisses down his throat, his chest. He let his lips graze a nipple and Dean’s entire body jolted as if he had touched a live wire. “Dean?”

“ _Fuck_.” The word was barely more than a breath of air. “Don’t stop.”

Cas huffed a laugh at that, and Dean twitched again as that puff of air teased over his nipple. “ _Fuck_ , Cas!”

So. Dean was more sensitive than he’d thought. Cas smiled. He could work with this. He flicked his tongue over one nipple while his fingers teased the other, then blew across the wet nub. Dean was writhing beneath him. _God_ , he was so responsive. Cas couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like to be _inside_ Dean.

The thought made his cock twitch and he pressed the heel of his hand against it to try and calm himself down. This was about Dean. He wanted to give Dean a _good_ memory to look back on. He moved on from Dean’s nipples, kissing his way down his chest and belly, pausing to flick his tongue into Dean’s navel, fingers deftly undoing the catches on Dean’s pants and tugging them down.

Dean’s boxer-briefs were tented, the front damp with a spot of precum. Cas rubbed soothing circles on those gorgeous jutting hipbones, looking up at Dean. “You’re sure this is okay?”

Beautiful green eyes looked down at him. They were nervous, but certain. “Yea. Yea, I’m sure. Please, Cas.”

Those two words broke him. Carefully, Cas pulled down Dean’s underwear, freeing his cock. Fuck, it was gorgeous. _Dean_ was gorgeous. 

Cas wrapped his hand around Dean’s shaft, giving him a slow, smooth stroke. For some reason, he was nervous, and he thought he knew why. He wanted to make this good for Dean. Wanted to erase all memories of Balthazar, of that horrible night. And he’d be damned if he didn’t do it. Looking down at Dean, at that beautiful boy spread out before him, he felt such an overwhelming surge of love overcome him, and all the nerves left. It would be good. It couldn’t be anything BUT good. Because he loved Dean more than anything.

Dean felt Cas’ hand stroke his cheek and he looked up. Those blue eyes were smiling down at him, soft and reassuring. He opened his mouth to question it but then he felt Castiel’s hand slip between his legs, cupping his balls, and he gasped. Balthazar had never done THAT. “Cas!”

“Shh.” Cas hushed, leaning in to kiss him softly. “I love you.” And then he was gone from view, moving down until he was face to face with that gorgeous cock. He was drawn in, unable to stop himself from licking along the tip, tasting the salty precum there. He could hear Dean draw in a sharp breath. He hoped it was a good noise. It SOUNDED like a good one.

Cas moved on, letting his tongue tease around the head of Dean’s cock, then ran it slow and hot along the vein on the underside. He was aware of the way Dean’s hands were clutching at the covers, seeking something to ground himself. That was a good sign. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth and swallowed Dean down.

There was an immediate response, Dean practically sobbing “ _oh!_ ” It sounded good, but Cas was unsure, nervous, so he pulled back, looking up at Dean. 

“Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly, but one look at Dean and he felt as if he’d been punched in the gut.

Dean looked completely and utterly debauched. His cheeks were flushed, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat; that gorgeous flush went all the way to his bare chest and he had his legs spread wide for Cas. But most importantly, the look on his face was about the farthest from upset that it could get. “ _Yes_ ,” he managed. “Yes, yes, _please_ Cas, don’t stop.”

That was all he needed to know. Cas returned to his task, tongue teasing along the crown of Dean’s penis, his hand working him in slow, steady pumps. “Beautiful,” he murmured, pressing kisses down the length of his dick. “You’re _beautiful_.”

“…Cas….” Dean’s voice was thick with emotion, love and need. Cas didn’t stop, simply carried on, tonguing his cock, taking him in deep. Dean cried out at that, and Cas was glad he had asked Sam to leave the house; Dean was awfully loud. Deep throating was one thing that Cas was good at, and he was damn proud of it. Not only that, it was something he actually enjoyed. It seemed Dean did as well. His hands had found their way into Castiel’s hair, clutching handfuls, hips fucking up of their own accord. It was unbelievably sexy.

Cas slipped his hand between Dean’s legs to cup his balls once again. They were drawn up tight, a sure sign that Dean was close to coming. He gave them a gentle tug, simultaneously humming around Dean’s cock, and that was it. That was the tipping point. He felt Dean’s hot seed fill his mouth, those hips stuttering as Dean came, Cas’ name upon his lips.

Cas pulled away, crawling up so he was face to face with Dean, and he felt as if he’d been slapped. Dean’s eyes were filled with tears, streaming down his cheeks. “Dean!”

But Dean’s only response was to grab Cas and pull him into a kiss, fierce and deep. “I love you,” he gasped. “I love you so much.”

And Cas realized that these were happy tears, and that he had accomplished his goal. Balthazar may not be gone, but the memory wasn’t painful anymore. Cas had given Dean a new memory, and just from looking at his face, the light in his eyes and the way his smile glowed, it was clear that this memory was worth a million of the other.

“I love you too,” he replied, softly stroking Dean’s hair, brushing the tears away. “I love you so much.”

Dean pushed Cas back onto the bed, curling up against him. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you for giving me that.”

Cas shook his head. “Shut up. You don’t have to thank me….I wanted to.”

“Even so.” Dean’s voice was so soft. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”

Cas’ heart ached. He didn’t know how anyone could hurt someone so sweet and wonderful as Dean. Then he felt a hand lightly stroke over the bulge in his jeans and he jumped. 

“Dean!”

“You’re still hard.” Dean didn’t move. His touch was light and hesitant, but it was there nonetheless, and Cas was all too aware that Dean had never done THIS before. Maybe it made him twisted but somehow that made this all the sexier, and he groaned, head falling back against the bed.

“Dean….it’s fine. I…..I mean, it’ll go away.”

Dean just looked at him. “…..so you don’t _want_ me to take care of it?”

Cas immediately backpedalled. “No. I mean….that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Dean nodded, appearing to give the matter great consideration. Then, he slid off of Cas, hand immediately going to work on Cas’ pants. “Dean, what’re you-”

“You said anything I’m not ready for.” Dean finished with the zipper and looked up at Cas. “Well, I’m ready.”

The words were like a fist squeezing Cas’ heart; it was too much to handle, especially with those green eyes staring at him so seriously, and he sat frozen as Dean attempted to remove his pants. Finally he succeeded in shucking them down past his thighs and sat staring at the tent in Cas’ underwear. At that, he glanced up at Cas, who was watching him dumbly. “Is…..is this okay with you?”

Cas somehow managed a nod. “As……as long as you’re sure.”

Dean nodded; he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Cas’ underwear and carefully pulled it down. His breath caught when he truly saw Cas’ cock for the first time; the sound was clearly audible in the mostly silent room. He jumped at the touch of Cas’ hand on his face, startled green eyes looking up.

“You don’t have to do this,” Cas’ voice was soft. Dean shook his head.

“Will you shut up? I want to.” And then he was leaning in and oh God that mouth was on Castiel’s cock. That gorgeous mouth. 

With the way they were positioned, Dean was on his hands and knees, pert ass up in the air, and Cas didn’t know how he could paint a prettier picture. Then Dean glanced up through his lashes and Cas nearly came on the spot. Those lips that had captured his attention right from the start, those plump, James Dean lips….seeing them wrapped around his cock while Dean looked up at Cas through his lashes? It was too much. It was just far too much. “ _Dean_ ,” he managed to choke out.

“Hmm?” And there was no WAY Dean didn’t know what he was doing, the devious little shit, humming like that; the sound vibrating around Cas’ dick and he cried out.

“Dean…..Dean, gotta stop. M’gonna…”

But Dean simply clamped his hands in place on Cas’ hips and, unbelievably, took Cas even deeper, taking in more and more until Cas hit the back of his throat and fuck, how in the hell was Dean a natural at deep throating? Then the little fucker swallowed, his throat constricting around Cas’ cock and that was it, Cas was coming hard.

When Dean pulled away, releasing Cas’ now softening dick, he had a little cum on his face. Smiling, Cas brushed the drop away with his thumb. “You….” Dean waited expectantly, a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “You’re amazing, you know that.”

All hint of nerves vanished, Dean’s face dissolving into a smile. “It was okay?”

“Dean, that……I don’t know how a first-timer gives a blowjob like that.” He wrapped his arms around Dean and hauled Dean into his lap. “You defy logic.”

Dean just laughed. “Glad to know I have some marketable skills,” he teased. Cas swatted his bare thigh.

“No. These are _non_ -marketable skills. They belong only to me, got it?”

Dean was grinning. “Got it.” He snuggled back against Cas, sighing. “I should probably cook dinner for Sam….to apologize for all of this.”

Cas laughed. “This was more my fault. Not that I’ll object to eating your food.”

Dean arched a brow. “Who said _you_ were getting any?”

“You would cook dinner and not share?” Cas let a hand flutter to his chest. “I’m _wounded!_ ”

“Yea, yea.” Dean shook his head. “I’ll make him some meatloaf. He likes meatloaf. And yes,” he smiled at Cas, “you can stay.”

“Oh, good. Otherwise it’s just me, my candy addicted brother, and my dad, and GOD knows if he’s emerged from his cave yet.”

Dean laughed. “I still haven’t met your dad.”

Cas shrugged. “He’s busy on a story right now, so even I barely see him. Besides, we always come over here.”

Dean felt a tiny wave of guilt. “Would you like to spend more time over there?”

Immediately Cas could see what Dean was thinking. “Hey, no, it’s okay. I mean yeah, it’d be nice to show you my room and stuff, but I like being here. And I know you like being around for Sam.”

Now that Dean thought about it, it was true: he still hadn’t seen any more of Cas’ house than the entryway and kitchen that he had seen when picking Cas up for their date. It would be nice to see more…..especially if that “more” included Cas’ bedroom. “Well, Sammy _does_ have club a lot of days after school,” Dean said slowly. “How about we start splitting times between our houses?”

Cas smiled. “That’d be nice. I mean…..we’d have to put up with Gabriel.”

Dean laughed. “Okay, so maybe not SPLITTING it. But we can at least go there sometimes. Besides, I LIKED Gabriel.”

“Yeah, you say that _now_ ,” Cas muttered darkly. “Wait till you actually talk to him.” He watched Dean pull out his phone. “What’re you doing?”

“Letting Sam know it’s safe to return. And that I’m making dinner.” He shut his phone. “Should be a decent peace offering.”

Cas grinned. “Still don’t know how he’ll look at you….either of us, really…..when he knows what we just did.”

Dean shuddered, though he was still smiling. “Good point.” He paused. “I’m simultaneously disgusted and amused.”

Cas laughed, echoing “disgusted?”

“Well I don’t want my little brother knowing this shit about me!”

“Hey, I figured it was preferable to him hearing us going at it.”

“Good point.” Dean slid out of Cas’ lap, tugging his pants back up. “So.” He crawled closer, kneeling between Cas’ legs. “You’ll stay for dinner? Then I can drive you back to your car?”

Cas smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was a cold night. Fall was officially ending, and the first of the frosts were on their way. Not that any of that could be felt from inside the Impala as the two boys sat in the school parking lot, parked beside Castiel’s car.

It had fallen silent between them as soon as they had neared the school, and Cas was fairly certain he knew why. It was as if all the events of the day had come rushing back and now lay heavy between them. He fiddled with his key ring. “Well,” he spoke up, but Dean interrupted him.

“Thank you,” he said. He was blushing, it was easy to see it all up the back of his neck and in the tips of his ears. “For taking care of me today.” He was staring intently at the steering wheel, studiously avoiding looking at Cas, who felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and love. He reached out, a hand running through Dean’s hair. Dean jumped slightly at the sensation before relaxing into the touch.

“You don’t have to thank me, Dean,” he murmured. “I love you. I love you more than anything. I will _always_ be there for you. No matter how, no matter what. I’ll be there.”

Now Dean was looking at him and he smiled, that lopsided smile that Cas loved so much. “Sap,” he said softly, and Cas chuckled.

“Yup.”

Dean leaned in, pressing their mouths together for a hard kiss, and when he pulled away he was smiling. The sight of it made Castiel’s heart fly. “I love you,” he said softly.

Cas smiled. “I love you, too.” He stroked Dean’s cheek. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow, yeah?”

Dean nodded, his smile growing with knowledge of what the two of them had planned. “Yea.” He gave Cas another kiss. “Now get out of my car before I don’t LET you get out and you’re stuck here forever.”

Cas laughed. “Okay, okay.” But even knowing that he’d be seeing Dean tomorrow, it was hard to leave. It always was. He climbed into his own car and waved goodbye, watching as Dean drove off. At least Dean was feeling better. Thinking of him earlier that day, of how Lucas and Gordon had hurt him…..Castiel’s blood boiled. He wished they had a better way to get revenge, an actual revenge, but Dean’s little prank was something. He supposed it said something about the two of them that it was Dean who had been hurt and yet Dean was content to simply go with a joke he’d had in mind for a while whereas Cas wanted to physically injure both of them.

Still, this would do. It would make Dean happy, so it would more than do. So long as it worked. 

Cas drove home, tossing his book bag to the floor and heading straight to his room. He had left his cell phone in his bag and thus had several missed messages. He was surprised to find that he already had one from Dean.

_You make it home okay?_

Cas smiled. _Yes._

The reply was immediate. _Good. I love you._

Castiel replied _I love you too_ and was ready to set aside his phone for the night when it buzzed with a new message. It too was from Dean, and when he looked at it he felt his heart clench.

_Thank you for this evening. It probably seems really silly thanking you but I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. You erased so many bad memories tonight and gave me so many new good ones. I can’t tell you how much I love you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. Because I love you, Cas. I really do._

Castiel didn’t know how this amazing boy had fallen into his life, didn’t know how he had accrued the kind of good luck and karma to deserve such a thing as Dean, but he was so incredibly grateful.

_I love you too, Dean. More than anything in the world, I love you._

He set his phone on his bedside table so he could see if it buzzed again, and before turning off the lights, he glanced at the frame on the wall: a simple note reading “Will you go out with me?” and answered with “YES”, written in capitals and underlined several times, all in Dean Winchester’s messy scrawl. Despite everything else he might own, this was Castiel Novak’s prize possession: Dean’s agreement to date him. To Cas, that was everything. Dean was everything.

His phone buzzed again and he picked it up. It was nothing really, just a tiny _< 3_ but it made him smile nonetheless. Dean Winchester had turned him into a sap and he loved it. He loved Dean, and everything about him, and everything that came with him.

Cas texted a _< 3_ back and then curled up to go to sleep. Not too far across town, Dean was doing the same and, despite the events of the day, thanks to Castiel he managed to fall into a peaceful slumber. 

 

_Put out the torches, light the stars, light the moon._

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually wait a little longer between posting but I know I left you with a hell of a lot of angst, so have it a day early, and with a healthy dose of smut!^^


	22. Never Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never was too good at following rules.  
> I'm better just pretending I was the fool.  
> ~'Lessons in Love', Neon Trees

Dean was a bit scared of what the next school day would bring. He hadn’t just gotten in a brawl ( _that_ part wouldn’t have worried him), no, he’d had a breakdown in front of half the school, turned into a sobbing mess, and honestly, he had no idea how this would affect people’s opinions of him.

Still, when he came into Mrs. Harrison’s class first thing in the morning, no one seemed to be looking at him strangely. Maybe one or two boys were giving him a slightly odd look, but the girls? Was it just him or did they look more interested than usual? And honestly, they had been getting more and more interested in him by the day. It was actually pretty funny. Cas had been growing increasingly irritated by the attention Dean was getting, much to Dean’s great amusement. This surely wasn’t going to help. Though Dean had absolutely no clue why the girls would be more interested NOW. Unless this was some ‘real men DO cry’ crap. He had no idea. Girls were weird.

Cas looked at him when he sat down, mouthed ‘are you okay?’ and Dean nodded. So far it really did seem as if things were going to be fine. And they were doing sonnets in class. That would be great. Dean _loved_ sonnets. Plus it gave him a chance to make Cas a bit jealous.

When it was Dean’s turn to get up and read, he made sure to take a good look around the room, making eye contact with not just Cas but with various girls. Then, he began to read. “When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes…”

He put all the emotion he had into his words, continuing to glance around the room at the girls, and yup, they were practically swooning. Cas, on the other hand….Cas was fidgeting more and more by the second, eyes angry and jealous as he watched the girls watching Dean. His hands gripped the corners of the desk so hard that you could see his knuckles turning white. 

“Mr. Novak?”

Mrs. Harrison’s voice cut through Dean’s poem and the room fell silent. Dean looked to Cas, who managed to tear his eyes off of Dean and look at their teacher.

“Are you feeling alright?”

It took everything Dean had to suppress his laughter. Cas really was a mess, and knowing that it was his doing, that Cas was like this because he was jealous of Dean, jealous that other people wanted Dean….and not just that, because Cas knew Dean would never cheat, so he was only jealous of the fact that people would even _think_ of Dean that way…..that felt WONDERFUL.

Somehow, Cas managed a nod. “I’m fine.”

Mrs. Harrison nodded, then indicated to Dean that he should finish the last few lines of his sonnet. He did so and returned to his desk, slipping into his seat without a glance Castiel’s way.

Even without looking, Dean could feel Cas turn a murderous glare in his direction. "I hate you," Cas hissed. The smallest smug smile played around the corners of Dean’s lips, but he said nothing. Chalk up one victory for him.

 

**~*~**

 

“You are positively _evil_ , you know that?”

Dean just smiled smugly. “You love it.”

“Love seeing you get ogled by females? No thank you.”

“Oh?” Dean leaned against the lockers outside his math class. “So if they were males, that would be okay?”

“ _No!_ ” Cas exploded. “ _God_ , you’re infuriating!”

“Ooh, big word.” Dean grinned. Cas smiled despite himself, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I’m picking up lessons from you, English-man.”

“Mmm,” Dean hummed. “I like it.”

They were silent, eyes taking each other in. “God,” Cas said at last, “I just wanna push you up against these lockers and kiss you senseless.”

Dean smiled, somewhat wistfully. “Soon…yea? Soon?”

Cas nodded. “Soon.”

Dean’s smile grew. “Then you can shove me up against anything you like and kiss me any way you want.”

Cas laughed. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Please do.”

The bell rang. “Shit.” Cas was going to be late to class now. “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?”

Dean grinned. “Oh _hell_ yea.” 

The look on his face mirroring Dean’s, Cas hurried down the hall towards his art class. As much as he loved art, lunch couldn’t come fast enough. He couldn’t wait to set this prank into motion. He only prayed it all worked out.

 

**~*~**

 

Cas made certain he was with Dean when they hit the lunchroom. He had met Dean outside his classroom as always, but he was much more attentive than usual, sticking close by Dean’s side, eyes concerned. And it was a very good thing, for as soon as Dean saw Gordon, his jaw clenched, entire body tensing. Cas risked taking his hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “It’s okay,” he said softly, releasing Dean’s hand before anyone would see. “It’ll be okay.”

Dean relaxed ever so slightly, managing a nod. Then Cas snickered and Dean looked at him, surprised. “He looks like a raccoon,” Cas explained. 

Dean turned his attention back to Gordon and sure enough, both eyes were ringed in bruises. A surprised laugh burst free. “He does.” And the bruises didn’t stop there. Gordon had a pretty large bruise right on the corner of his mouth, his jaw swollen. Dean had done quite a number on him, and it made some of that tension ease, a bit of happiness curling through Dean’s chest.

Cas smiled to hear that laugh. “Come on.” He led Dean over to the table where Charlie and Benny were already waiting. Charlie was smiling up at them, though there was some apprehension in the gaze. Benny looked from Dean to Gordon, fiercely protective. All of it warmed Dean to his very core, seeing how much his friends cared about him.

“Hey, guys,” Cas said. Gordon glared.

“If that asshole _dares_ to sit down here-”

“I _know_ you’re not giving Dean any trouble,” a voice interrupted. Dean spun around, coming face to face with Bela. “Not after YOU were the bastard who started the fight to begin with.”

“I didn’t say _anything_ ,” Gordon spat. “I just quoted a damn song.”

“You knew _exactly_ what you were doing.” Bela’s voice made it very clear that there was to be no arguing on the matter. She turned to Dean. “Ignore him, Dean. Gordon’s always been a bit…..special.”

Dean bit back a smile. “That’s one word for it.”

It was clear that Gordon wanted to say something else but Bela seemed to have shut him up and he did nothing more than glare. Smiling, Dean sank into his seat, Cas joining him. 

“What’s up, compadres?”

Dean glanced up to where Ash had joined them, sliding into the remaining empty seat. “Not much.”

“You manage to get those tickets for tonight?”

Dean could see Michael and Lucas’ eyes light up, intrigued, and even Gordon looked interested. Dean shook his head theatrically, face an exaggerated picture of sadness. “No, man. They were all sold out.”

“Bummer, man.”

“Tickets?” Michael spoke up.

“Yea. The Soronprfbs are playing a couple towns over. They’re such a great band but tickets are near impossible to get. I mean they’re still pretty unknown so they only play small venues and it’s hard to get in. Hell, sometimes it’s hard just to track them down.”

He could see the wheels turning in Michael’s head, Lucas’ mind fast at work. “Really?” Lucas spoke up. “We got ours a month ago.”

They had taken the bait. Dean had to dig his nails into his thighs to hold back his laughter. “Really?” He let his eyes widen, his face fill with jealousy.

Michael nodded. “The group of us are going.”

Cas looked to Dean, shaking his head. “They didn’t even think to ask if WE wanted in.”

“Well when we bought the tickets we barely knew Dean,” Michael explained.

“Wouldn’t have invited him _anyway_ ,” Meg muttered. 

Cas did his best not to glare. Instead he put on a look of exaggerated offense. “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t invite ME.”

“Sorry, Castiel,” and apparently Michael was a damn good actor, for he sounded legitimately sorry for a crime he didn’t even commit. “We were all together when we bought them and I guess we just forgot you somehow.”

Cas shook his head. “Well. Some friends _I_ have.” 

It was easy to see that Michael was nervous about lying. Lucas and Gordon weren’t unsettled about it at all, and once again Dean thought about what a group of assholes they were, not caring about lying to Cas this way. Ruby looked bored with the entire endeavor. And Meg? Meg actually looked more on par with Lucas and Gordon. It was weird to see her siding with those two rather than with Cas. She really must be mad at Cas for hooking up with someone else. 

“Ah, well,” and Dean sighed the words, faking resignation. “I guess we’ll just have to find another way to amuse ourselves. I know it won’t be _nearly_ as good as the concert, but it’ll have to do.” He looked up at the others, from Lucas, to Michael, to Ruby. “Tell us how it is, will you?”

He could feel Cas’ hand squeeze his under the table as Michael answered “of course”, and he struggled not to smile. This was working out _perfectly_.

 

**~*~**

 

The lights of the movie theatre flickered as they waited in line to get their popcorn. Dean was a bit sad that Ash, Benny, and Charlie couldn’t make it, but he HAD sprung the idea on them rather last minute, and all three had already had plans. And hey, he wasn’t going to complain about having date night with Cas. 

Cas smiled at Dean. “This was a great idea.”

“You think so?”

“I do. Seems to have worked perfectly, too.”

Dean handed over the cash for the food and took the bag. “I hope so. We’ll see first thing tomorrow, won’t we.”

“I guess so. But I’m positive it worked.” They headed towards the theatre when suddenly they stopped dead, greeted by a familiar face. 

“Hello, boys.”

“Bela!” Dean’s eyes were wide with surprise. “What’re you doing here?” He immediately kicked himself. Of course she was seeing a movie. “I mean, what movie are you seeing?”

Her smile grew, a sly thing. “ _Frank_.” 

At that, his heart skipped a beat. “You….. _what_?”

“You’ve heard of it? I think it sounds quite interesting. It’s about a young man who joins a band called the Soronprfbs. I'm just trying to think, where have I heard that name before?” But her cat-like smile said she knew exactly why the name was so familiar.

Dean and Cas were silent, at a complete loss for what to say. She had figured it out, the whole thing. No wonder she had been so silent at lunch while all the others were chiming in about the concert they were going to see. She had heard of the movie 'Frank', had known all along that the band was fake.

Bela just smiled. “Don’t worry, boys. I’m not going to say a thing. I think it was a brilliant prank.”

THAT made Dean smile. “Yea?”

“Yes.” She raised a brow at him. “Yours?” He nodded. She smiled. “Exceptional. Even once they figure out they’ve been had they’ll be too embarrassed and too proud to say a damn thing about it. Nicely done.”

Dean puffed up with pride. “Thanks.” He paused, biting his lip. “We’re seeing the same film. Did you want to sit with us?”

Bela shook her head, smiling. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to intrude on your romantic evening.”

Dean’s heart leapt in his chest, pounding in terror, but there was nothing in Bela’s face that should frighten him. Instead her smile was soft, reassuring. She looked between the two of them, their nervous faces. “Not going to say a word, boys. I promise.” And somehow, Dean knew she was telling the truth. His heart relaxed, all tension leaving his body. 

“I will, however, join you after the show for some coffee, if you like?”

Dean smiled. “I’d like that.” He glanced at Cas, who nodded in agreement. “Yea. That sounds good.”

Bela nodded again. “Alright then. It’s a date.” And she winked, the double-meaning clear, causing Dean to blush. She smiled to see it and headed down the hall to the theatre.

Dean turned to Cas, raising his brows. “Now THAT I did not expect.”

“Me neither, to be honest,” Cas admitted. “I thought we were keeping things pretty quiet.”

“I think we are,” Dean watched Bela’s retreating back. “I think Bela may just be a little more observant than most.”

“You may be right, there.” 

Dean held the door for Cas to enter the theatre. “Honestly, if anyone’s onto us, I would’ve thought it would be Meg.”

THAT got Cas’ attention. “Seriously? Do you really think she knows?”

Dean shrugged uncomfortably as they took their seats. “No. Not yet. But she keeps STARING. Just watching us. It makes me nervous.”

Cas was silent, thinking that over. “Well…..not sure what to do about that one. Cuz we’re not doing anything that should give us away. Just….” He hesitated. “…..shouldn’t be too long now, though….right?”

Dean’s face lit up at that. “Yea? You think?”

Cas smiled. “It’s up to you. I’d say we wait at least one more game, and then we break the news. Does that sound good?”

Dean’s answer came in the form of one of the most passionate kisses Cas could remember receiving in a long time. He actually found Dean crawling into his lap right there in the theatre chair, despite the uncomfortable fit and he was grateful they were sitting in the back of the theatre. He laughed breathlessly into Dean’s mouth. “I take it you approve of that plan?”

“Yes,” Dean answered breathlessly. “ _Yes_.”

Smiling, Cas slid his hands down Dean’s back to cup his backside, supporting him. “You know,” he murmured, “you aren’t going to be able to see the movie from this angle.”

“Don’t care,” Dean’s voice was muffled as he kissed his way along Castiel’s throat. “You’re _far_ more entertaining.”

“Well,” and Cas ran his hands through Dean’s short hair as the lights dimmed and the credits rolled. “ _I’m_ certainly not going to object.”

Dean chuckled. “I bet you won’t.”

In the end, they didn’t see very much of the movie.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean couldn’t wait for lunchtime the next day. He was dying to see what happened with the other kids, what they said about the “concert”.

The previous night had gone well. True, Dean and Cas had missed most of the movie in favor of making out, but they had gone out with Bela afterwards and it had been fun. She hadn’t come right out and stated that she knew they were dating, but she had made it fairly obvious nonetheless through discreet hinting. Dean had initially been incredibly nervous and could tell that Cas was, too, but Bela had made it damn clear that she wasn’t going to say a thing to anyone. His esteem of her had only grown.

So here he was in the lunchroom. He took a deep breath as he neared the table, trying to get all of his laughter under control before greeting the others.

“Hey, guys,” he slipped into his seat. Cas was already there. Bela had pointed out that it might be less suspicious if they began coming to lunch separately, at least once in a while. “How was the concert?”

“Oh, it was spectacular,” Meg said. She had a smug little smile on her face, the kind that Dean would normally want to punch away, but right now he just wanted to laugh, knowing that she was bragging about things that hadn’t even happened. He heaved a sigh.

“Damn. I’m so sad I missed it.”

“You should be.”

“And to think,” Dean looked up as Bela chimed in, her own face full of exaggerated regret. “All we did last night was watch a movie.”

He stared, unable to believe that she was joining in on this; then she looked at him with a twinkle of a smile in her eyes and it was all he could do not to laugh. Gordon was still talking about the concert but Dean barely heard a thing, finding Cas’ hand under the table. He had the greatest friends in the world, and the most fantastic boyfriend ever.



Honestly, who cared if Gordon made some stupid obnoxious comment? Dean had everything he could possibly need, and soon everyone would know it. And no matter what the reaction was, whether they were accepted with open arms or scorned by all the school, it didn’t matter; they would weather it together as they did all things. With Cas by his side, Dean felt invincible. Cas made him strong. 

Under the table, Cas squeezed Dean’s hand three times in silent code. _I love you_.

Smiling, Dean squeezed back. _I love you, too_.

And despite everything that was going on around them, at that moment, holding hands with Cas, their hands spelling out ‘ _I love you_ ’, everything was perfect.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom and I actually used to do the "I love you" hand squeezes when I was a little kid.
> 
> THIS is a link to my photos from the lolita convention I worked at:  
> http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/slideshow/RuffleCon%202014  
> One of you was asking, so here it is. Enjoy.^^  
> Oh, and _'Frank'_ is a real movie, starring Michael Fassbender as the title character.
> 
> And in the spirit of Halloween, have a picture of the boys cosplaying as each other: Misha as Dean, Jared as Cas, and Jensen as Sam.  
> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/supernaturalhalloween_zpsfe52e825.jpg.html)


	23. Your Golden, Holy Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You put on a show.  
> My honest reaction,  
> I can't stop this attraction.
> 
> I'm a moth to your flame  
> And my wings are burning.  
> Still my desire's the same,  
> And you do this to me.  
> Oh, you do this to me.  
> ~'Attraction', Neon Trees

Despite the days flying by, time still seemed to go incredibly slow, each day dragging as they moved towards the next soccer game, the game after which they would tell everyone they were dating.

Dean sighed as he headed to his car after practice. It was actually incredibly surprising that the thought of sharing the news didn’t distract him during every practice and make his game suffer. No, if anything, it only made him better, the excitement fueling him. Not only that: the whole point in waiting several games was due to the college scouts that had been coming by, to let them see Dean’s skills. So he had been playing with determination, giving it everything he had, hoping that he showed enough skill that, once the news of his bisexuality broke, it wouldn’t matter to these colleges, that they would want him anyway.

Cas was waiting for him when he reached the parking lot and he smiled. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Dean stopped a foot away, avoiding any hugging. “It was a hard practice. I probably smell more than usual.”

Cas laughed. “That so.”

Dean just nodded. He and Cas hadn’t given up on Dean’s idea of him forgoing showering with the team after practice in favor of going back to his house and showering with Cas. Thus far it hadn’t happened due to schedules interfering, so Dean had been showering alone at home. Today would be the first time they showered together, and Dean’s stomach was flip-flopping nervously. “I….drive separately?”

Cas was surprised. They usually drove together. “Okay?”

“I smell,” Dean offered as explanation, and Cas laughed again.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll see you at your place.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean was so ridiculously grateful that Sam had a meeting for the school paper today, and John would be at work. He and Cas would have the house to themselves.

He was naked, bent over the tub as he tested the water to make sure it was a good temperature. Cas’ arms slipped around his waist and he felt a kiss pressed to the back of his neck. “Cas!”

“What?”

“I’m all gross and sweaty!”

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was amused. “I so totally don’t care.”

“Then you’re silly,” Dean grumbled, finally turning on the shower itself. His stomach was still turning anxiously but he took Castiel’s hands in his, tugging him along. “Come on.” Smiling, Cas followed him into the shower.

It was honestly a tight fit for two people. Cas blinked as the water wet his eyelashes, and looked around him. “We should use this tub sometime.”

Dean looked down. It was an old tub, one of those extremely deep claw-footed ones. “….that would be pretty fucking awesome.”

Cas grinned. “I know, right?” He grabbed the soap. “C’mere.” Dean obeyed, moving closer, and Cas began rubbing him down, soaping up every inch. Dean let out a little moan as Cas massaged his shoulders.

“ _Damn_ , Cas.”

Cas smiled. “Good?”

“Awesome.”

Cas chuckled, sliding to his knees to do Dean’s legs. “Well, we gotta get you all cleaned up and non-sweaty, don’t we?”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, your words.” As he rose, he paid special attention to Dean’s belly, eliciting a tiny ‘eep’. “Ticklish there, too?”

“Shut up. No.”

Cas just raised one disbelieving brow and stepped in closer to kiss Dean, rubbing his shoulders once again as they kissed. Dean moaned into Cas’ mouth.

“God. You are so amazing.”

“You’re fairly spectacular yourself.”

Dean huffed a laugh, hands sliding into Cas’ wet hair. He gave Cas a real good look and laughed for real. Cas blinked at him in confusion.

“What. What is it.”

“Nothing, just.” Dean shook his head. “I think this is the first time since I met you that I’ve ever seen your hair lie flat.”

Cas laughed, swatting the side of Dean’s head. “Hey! Don’t make fun of my bedhead!”

“I LOVE your bedhead. It’s adorable…” he kissed the left corner of Cas’ mouth, “and sexy….” And then the right, “and completely wonderful.”

Cas actually found himself blushing. “Well…..so long as you like it.”

“Oh, I do. I _love_ it.” And Dean kissed Cas one more time before he was doing something Cas would never have expected: he was sliding to his knees, hands tracing down Cas’ stomach and hips as he moved to kneel on the floor of the tub before Cas.

Cas stared down at him, dumbfounded. “Dean.” His throat was completely dry, the name barely audible. “You….what’re you doing.”

Dean looked up at him, wet hair hanging over his forehead. “I would’ve thought my intentions were obvious.”

Oh God. Oh holy Jesus. “You…..you’re sure?”

Dean looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes. “Cas…..I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you asking me that….making certain I’m not going further than I’m ready…..but you should know me well enough by now to know that I don’t do anything I don’t want. And to know that I meant what I said. You don’t push me. And I know you’ll _never_ push me. So if I tell you I want to do something for you, or with you, then yea…..I’m sure.”

Cas just stared, at a loss. “…..oh,” he said lamely. He couldn’t think of a thing to say to that. All he could think of was Dean, knees, mouth, mouth, mouth, fuck, that _mouth_. And then Dean was smiling at him, somehow managing to combine a sweet little smile and a cocky little smirk and how the fuck did he DO that and then his lips were on Cas, taking him in and oh God, Dean’s mouth was _made_ for this, seriously.

Cas’ hands cupped Dean’s face, unable to look away from how those lips wrapped around his cock. It was beautiful. There was no way he was gonna last like this. He wondered if he would ever build up stamina to last during a Dean blowjob. 

Then Dean looked up at him, water droplets glistening in his long lashes, a smile in those green eyes, and it was too fucking much. “Oh God,” Cas choked out, “Dean!” He couldn’t stop his hips from snapping up as he came and he hoped he wasn’t fucking into Dean’s mouth too hard, didn’t want to choke him.

He fell back against the wall of the shower, breath coming heavily. Dean rose to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. There was the slightest hint of anxiousness in his eyes. “Was that okay?”

It was Cas’ turn to feel exasperated; he yanked Dean forward into a kiss. “Dean….you’re amazing. I seriously don’t know how you do it. That….holy shit.”

Dean was smiling, pleased. “Yea?”

“Yeah.” Cas stroked his cheek. “You’re a natural.” He traced his thumb along Dean’s lower lip. Dean raised a brow as though realizing something.

“You really like my mouth, don’t you.” It was more statement than question. Cas flushed as he was found out.

“Ah…..yeah.” Dean’s smile grew, and Cas’ blush only got worse. “What. It’s gorgeous.”

Dean was full-on grinning now. “Oh?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much perfect.”

That made Dean’s brows shoot up. “Perfect?” He echoed.

“Yeah. S’what made me first make the James Dean connection.” He traced Dean’s lips again. “Your lips are so full and pouty. I love them.”

Dean was the one blushing now. “Oh.”

Cas smiled at the expression. “Well…” he gave Dean a kiss. “How about we finish up showering and get out of here before the hot water runs out?”

Dean nodded with a smile. “Sounds good to me.”

 

**~*~**

 

For once, Cas had gotten home at a relatively decent hour. Both of them had homework that night, and while usually they did it together, they decided it would be easier tonight to work with less distractions.

Now it was 11 and Cas was ready for bed, all tucked in, lights out. His mind, however, was back on all that had happened that day. He couldn’t believe all that Dean had done, and even more, what he had said. It warmed Cas to his very core to know what faith Dean had in him, and that Dean really did want to move forward.

His phone buzzed suddenly. Rolling over, Cas picked it up off the nightstand and flipped it open. It was Dean, naturally.

 _Hey, how’d I do this afternoon?_ Cas swallowed. Dean could only be referring to one thing. _You sure seemed to like watching me. It’s cuz you like my lips so much, isn’t it. Got a nice pair of cock-sucking lips on me. ;)_

Cas choked at that, and he was immediately rock hard. Fuck. Where the hell had Dean gotten THAT?

 _Cock sucking lips?_ He texted back. It wasn’t long before he got a response.

_Like that one, huh._

_Unfortunately, yes._

_Heh._ He could just picture the look on Dean’s face, the sound of his laughter. _Bet you’re all horny now, aren’t you._

_Dean._

And then the phone rang. Cas fumbled with it. “Hello?”

“I’m right, aren’t I.”

“Dean.”

“It’s okay, Cas, you can tell me. Did you like watching my mouth on your cock?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Cas hissed, pressing his hand down against his groin. “Yes, alright? Yes! You happy?”

“Very.” Dean’s voice was smug. 

“Dean,” Cas’ tone was wary. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish, here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Dean sounded only slightly surprised at Cas’ question. “I want you to touch yourself for me.”

There was a long moment in which the only sound was the ticking of Castiel’s clock, nearly deafening in the otherwise silent room. “….Dean…” His voice was no more than a whisper.

“Cas?” Dean’s tone was the picture of innocence.

“……FUCK,” Cas said at last, resigned. He loosened the tie on his pajama pants, hand slipping inside to wrap around his cock. “You….you’re a pain in the ass, you know that, right?”

“Oh yea. And you love it.” There it was again, that smugness, but there was something else there, a slight breathlessness that suggested Dean wasn’t as unaffected as he was pretending. “How bout it, Cas? You thinkin’ bout it? My mouth on your cock?”

Cas let out a whimper. “Yes.”

“Me too. _Fuck_ , me too. Was so good today, Cas. Loved the feel of you in my mouth.” Was it just Cas’ imagination or was that the sound of skin on skin? He bit back a moan, increasing the pace of his own strokes.

“Looked so sexy, Dean. _God_ , you looked so beautiful.”

“Loved having me there, didn’t you?” There was a pause, and Dean’s next words were so quiet, timid. “…..how else would you like me?” The words were barely audible; Cas had to strain to hear them.

“Haa….what….what do you mean?”

“What else do you want to do to me, Cas?”

Cas’ heart skipped a beat. “…..I….” He felt heat curling through every inch of his body, images rolling through his mind: Dean spread out beneath him, pressing into Dean, taking him so soft and deep, listening to him moan; but he was too scared to say anything, afraid of how Dean would react.

“Tell me.” There was no fear in Dean’s voice, just desire, and it gave Cas courage.

“In bed,” he whispered. “Beneath me. I want to make love to you.” 

Was it just him or was that a moan? “Dean?”

“ _Fuck_ , Cas,” the words were barely more than air, breathless. “Don’t stop. Tell me more.”

Oh fuck. Dean _liked_ that. Dean _wanted_ Cas to do that, to make love to him. It was as if a dam broke and all the words were pouring forth. “I wanna press you into the mattress and push inside you….fuck you nice and slow. Make you cry out; scream my name. Wanna hear every single one of those beautiful noises you make.”

He could hear Dean clearly, the moans coming over the phone. “Oh fuck, _Cas_.”

“And then I’d take you in hand, jerk you off as I fucked into you….listen to you…..fuck, _Dean!_ ” For the second time that day he came with Dean’s name upon his lips, vaguely aware of Dean crying out on the other side of the phone.

He was aware of Dean’s breath, practically in synch with his own, as they both came down from their orgasms. “Happy?” he asked when he was finally able to speak. “You got your phone sex.”

Dean laughed breathlessly. “Very,” he answered. “Though I’d hope you are as well.”

“Mmm,” Cas hummed. “Very much so.”

There was a pause. “Cas?” Dean spoke up hesitantly. “Did you mean all those things you said?”

Cas colored. “…I…..yes.” Dean was silent and Cas was afraid that it had been one of those heat of the moment things, and that now that they were finished, Dean would be weirded out by the whole thing.

“So…” and Dean sounded as if he was striving for nonchalance, but there was too much interest in his voice. “Think we could maybe get on that?”

Cas’ heart leapt into his throat. “Yeah? I mean….really? You want to….. _really?_ ”

Dean laughed at Cas’ response, but he sounded somewhat shy. “ _Yea_ , really. And maybe…..sometime soon?”

Cas couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I…..as long as you’re sure.”

Dean heaved an aggravated sigh. “Cas, what did I say earlier about not doing anything I don’t want to do?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, just…..it’s a lot.”

Dean was silent for a moment. “I know, but…..with you, it doesn’t _feel_ like a lot. It feels…….right.”

Cas melted. “I love you. I love you _so much_.”

The smile was evident in Dean’s voice. “I love you too. More than anything.” He sighed. “We’d better get to bed. School tomorrow.” Cas was positive he could hear the grimace in Dean’s voice as he said “well, get cleaned up and get to bed.”

Cas chuckled. “Yeah. That.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yea?”

“Yeah.” Cas smiled. “Goodnight, Dean. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

The phone clicked as Dean hung up and Cas simply lay there, unable to move, too completely overwhelmed. Dean wanted to have sex with him. _Dean wanted to have sex with him_. It was too much to process. Dean thought that it felt right. Cas wanted to get up and do a dance…..so he did. He danced down the hall on his way to wash up, danced the whole time he cleaned up, and danced back out the bathroom door, crashing abruptly into Gabriel.

“Whoa, hey there.” Gabriel stopped Cas dead, hands on his shoulders, holding him in place. “What’s with the victory dance?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” The last thing Cas needed was Gabriel knowing what happened…or rather, what was _going_ to happen.

“Oh, yeah right. You just get laid?” And as always, Castiel was terrible at hiding his emotions, his eyes widening at what he assumed was meant as a teasing joke but had hit too close to the mark. Gabriel’s eyes widened in return when he saw the expression. “You didn’t.” A look came into those eyes as he pondered. “But something happened. Something sexual.”

Cas ducked underneath Gabriel’s arm, moving around him. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”

“I’ll figure it out sooner or later!” Gabriel called after him.

Cas shut his door, flopping into bed. Even Gabriel’s words couldn’t get to him, a smile overwhelming his face. Dean wanted to have sex with him. Dean trusted him. Dean _loved_ him.

That was worth _any_ amount of teasing.

 

**~tbc~**


	24. Dying to Break Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to break through  
> to the next room.  
> My world revolves  
> around you.  
> ~'In the Next Room', Neon Trees

Cas sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, swinging his feet nervously. He never _had_ liked doctors, and it had been almost a year since he had been to one. This one, in fact.

A nurse came around the corner, checking the name on her clipboard. “Castiel Novak?”

He rose, heart pounding as he followed her down the hallway and into an exam room. “So,” she said, shutting the door behind them. “Why’re we in here today.”

He sank into a chair. “I want to get tested for STDs.”

She nodded at him. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

The nurse (Amanda, her nametag read) wrote something down on her clipboard. “Are you actually concerned about having something or is this just a routine check?”

“Just routine.”

She nodded again. “Wait here. The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.” With that she left Castiel alone in the room.

He looked around at all the notes on the walls, papers proclaiming warnings about proper healthcare. As nervous as he was, he had to get this done. He wouldn’t move farther with Dean until he was sure they were being safe. Hell, he shouldn’t have let Dean’s mouth anywhere NEAR his cock…not before getting checked out.

He was pretty damn positive he was clean. Cas hadn’t hooked up with anyone since the last time he’d been here to get tested a full year ago…..not any farther than kissing, anyway. Still, he couldn’t be too careful. There was no such THING as too careful when Dean was involved. Dean was special. Cas couldn’t risk hurting him.

So he waited, heart beating nervously away, waiting for the doctor to come and take her tests, knowing that in the end, it would all be worth it.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean was worried. Cas hadn’t showed up to English class that morning, and he hadn’t answered any of Dean’s texts. Benny actually teased Dean during gym, calling him a mother hen. He couldn’t risk saying anything more suggestive, not when there were so many people around them, but the look in his eyes definitely did his talking for him, and Dean glowered at him. “Shut up.”

Benny just laughed as they headed off to the showers. This, unfortunately, was one place where Dean had not yet found a way around the public showering. So he just moved as quickly as possible, always finishing before everyone else. He waited as Benny finished dressing, tying his shoes. “Coming?”

Benny nodded, slinging an arm about Dean’s shoulders. “Come on, grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy!” Dean protested as they left the gym room, but the words died on his lips because there he was, Cas. Dean’s entire face lit up and Benny chuckled. 

“You are so whipped,” he muttered under his breath, smile clear in his voice.

“Aw, shut up,” Dean mumbled, face red.

Cas moved to meet them. “Hello, Dean. Benny.”

“Where WERE you?” Dean demanded.

Cas looked vaguely uncomfortable. “….personal errand.” The expression on his face showed that it was definitely something he would prefer not to discuss. Dean frowned.

“Oh. Okay.” He didn’t like keeping secrets. Cas could clearly sense that.

“It’s nothing. Promise.” That had done nothing to lighten Dean’s mood. “Hey. I’ll tell you later, yeah?”

Dean perked up at that. “Today? Later today?”

Cas hesitated. “…..how about later tomorrow? After school?”

Dean frowned at him. “But tomorrow is CHARLIE’S day.” Not that that necessarily meant Cas wouldn’t BE there, but it DID mean that Charlie would be around, and quite probably Benny and Garth. Harder for private confessions with so many others there. 

Cas heaved a sigh. “FINE! I’ll tell you this afternoon!”

Dean smiled that insufferably pleased smile he got whenever he got his way. “Thank you.” Cas just glowered at him.

“Pain in the ass.”

Benny laughed at the two of them. “You’re like an old married couple.”

“ _God_ , now you sound like my brother,” Dean groused.

“Then your brother knows what he’s talking about.”

They reached the cafeteria, but Cas dreaded sitting down, eating….anything that would move this day along faster. He was scared of what Dean would say once he found out what Cas had been up to, once he realized the risk Cas had put him at.

As Cas watched him eat, Dean glanced up and smiled. God. He was so beautiful. Cas swallowed with some difficulty and somehow managed to smile back. 

It would be okay. Dean loved him. Everything would work out just fine.

….right?

 

**~*~**

 

Kids streamed out of the building, yelling. Cas moved to join them when a hand grabbed his shirt sleeve, yanking him back. “Not so fast.”

He looked at Dean, who was watching him expectantly. “Where do you think you’re going?” Dean asked.

_Shit_. “…..don’t you have practice?”

“Yea. I do. But first you’re gonna tell me where you were this morning.”

Cas’ stomach plummeted. “…I….” He looked at his feet and, taking a deep breath, just came out with it. “I was at the clinic getting tested.”

“…..tested?” Dean sounded confused and oh God, he was so fucking innocent that it almost hurt. Then… “….oh. Tested like….. _tested_ tested?”

“Yeah.” Cas rushed to explain. “I mean I shouldn’t have anything. I haven’t slept with anyone since I got tested a year ago and I was 100% clean then. The doctor said everything looked fine but I won’t know for sure for a few more days.” He still couldn’t bring himself to look directly at Dean, merely somewhere to the left of him, their eyes not quite connecting. “…..I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so SO sorry.”

“……sorry?” Dean’s voice was strange; there was surprise there but also something else that Cas couldn’t read.

“Yeah. I should never have…..I mean, like I said I should be fine but I should never have messed around with you without knowing; I should never have let you-”

But that’s as far as he got before Dean was shoving Cas backwards behind a bush, up against the wall of the building and kissing him firmly. “Cas,” he said when they broke apart. “You didn’t ‘let me’ do anything. I did it cuz I wanted to. I’m not a child. I know what the risks are.”

Cas just stared at Dean. “You…..you just trusted that I didn’t have anything?”

Dean nodded. Cas was torn between an overwhelming sense of love and an insane urge to grab Dean and shake him.

“Dean…..you shouldn’t just TRUST people like that!”

“It’s not ‘people’, it’s YOU!” Dean shot back. “And I know you would never let me do something like that if you thought you were sick.”

Again, that combination of love and exasperation. Cas shook his head. “Dean….’thinking’ and ‘knowing’ are two very different things.”

“I don’t care,” Dean said stubbornly. “You’re fine. I know it.”

“Oh, well if the Great Dean Winchester _knows_ ….”

Dean punched his shoulder. “Shut up. Don’t make fun of me.”

“Then don’t be ridiculous.”

Dean bit his lip. “Do you think I should get checked, too?”

Oh. That was a good point. “Might be a good idea.”

“Mm.” Dean leaned in close, their noses almost touching and a sly smile on his face as he murmured “then you can fuck me without a condom.”

That had totally been at the back of Castiel’s mind, but hearing it from Dean’s lips was a _completely_ different thing. “ _Fuck_.”

“Good plan?”

“Damn good plan.”

“Glad we agree.” Dean glanced towards the playing field. “…..think I’m gonna tell Adler that something came up. Doctor’s appointment.” And when he looked at Cas, his eyes were twinkling.

“You sure?”

Dean shrugged easily. “Yea. I mean, as long as there’s no scout there today, no problem. I can miss a day of practice.” He smiled at Cas. “That way maybe we’ll get our results on the same day.”

The thought filled Cas with a strange warmth; he nodded. “Yeah.” He paused, thinking. “Drive you?”

Dean smiled, nodding. “I’d like that.”

Cas watched Dean walk off across the field towards Mr. Adler. He would get to go with Dean to the doctor and, if Dean would let him, hold his hand through it all. He smiled. It was all so ridiculously domestic.

Dean jogged back over, smiling when he saw the expression on Cas’ face. “What’s that face for?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. I just love you.”

Dean chuckled. “I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was the big day. Dean and Cas were parked outside the doctor’s office, staring at each other, both too nervous to take the first step.

Finally, Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand. “C’mon. Let’s get this over with.”

Cas nodded his assent. “Yeah.”

Hand in hand they went up the steps and into the office. Dean went to the desk, letting the secretary know they were there while Cas watched him, remembering the last time they had been here, a week ago. The way he had sat with Dean through his tests, teasing him over how he looked in the hospital gown he’d had to wear, holding his hand whenever he looked nervous….

“Hey.”

Cas jumped at the sound of Dean’s voice; Dean was smiling, amused at the reaction.

“Whatcha thinking bout?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. Just…..you. Us.”

The words brought the softest, most beautiful smile to Dean’s face. “Hey,” he said softly. “You know that, no matter what happens here, I still want you. You know that….right?”

Cas melted at the words. “Yeah?”

“Of _COURSE_ yea!” Dean pulled Cas close, wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Cas, I want to be with you no matter what. I love you.”

Cas opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted, the nurse calling “Dean Winchester? Castiel Novak?” So he settled for taking Dean’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

They quickly found themselves in a small room, waiting for Doctor Deshefy, but she didn’t keep them waiting long. Cas would guess from her quick appearance and the friendly smile on her face that she knew they were nervous.

“Hello again, boys.”

“Hi.”

She looked over her clipboard, pulling out two pages, clearly each of their test results. “Well, I’ll give these to you to keep, if you like, but there’s not much point; you’re both 100% healthy.”

Cas’ heart had been going a mile a minute; upon hearing her words, it skipped a beat, then resumed its pounding. “….we……it…….what?” he managed eloquently

Dean laughed at him, squeezing him tight. “We’re fine, Cas! Both of us!” He looked up at the doctor again. “You’re sure?”

She was smiling. “Positive. Here.” And she held out the results. “You can take these. Call me with any questions.”

Cas was still practically mute, too overcome with relief to do or say a thing. Dean just shook his head, smiling at the doctor. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She waved as Dean guided Cas out the door. “You both take care!”

It wasn’t until they got outside the building that Cas finally snapped out of it; maybe it was the cold air, maybe he’d just had time for things to sink in, he didn’t know. He could just hear Dean saying his name again and again. “Cas? Hey, Cas. Earth to Cas?” And that was it. He shoved Dean up against the building, kissing him hard, all teeth and tongues and _fuck_ it was so good.

Dean moaned, rubbing up against him. “Cas…”

“Mm?” Now that he had started kissing Dean, he didn’t want to stop.

“Maybe we should take this….someplace else.” Cas whined his discontentment at the idea of moving but Dean held up his key ring, jingling it. “Car?”

Oh. The car. Cas could get behind that. He grabbed Dean’s hand, yanking him off the wall. He could hear Dean laughing breathlessly at how riled up Cas was but all that did was make him smile. He waited as Dean unlocked the car, nuzzling his neck impatiently.

“Cas….” Dean arched into the feeling. “S’distracting.”

“Deal with it.”

Dean laughed. “Brat,” he said affectionately. Opening the door, he gave Cas a push, shoving him into the backseat, quickly crawling inside and on top of him and oh yea, Cas could totally get with this. Fingers were working at the buttons on his jeans and he quickly moved to join in, undoing Dean’s pants as well and pushing them down; he shifted so that Dean could help him wriggle out of his pants, moaning as their heated flesh met after what seemed like forever. 

“Fuck.”

“Yea,” Dean breathed the word. Tentatively, he wrapped his hand around both their cocks, eyes flicking up to look at Cas, silently asking _‘is this right’?_ It was beyond adorable, and beyond sexy. Cas nodded, answering the unasked question.

“Yeah, Dean.” He covered Dean’s hand with his own and moved them both together in a slow, smooth stroke, loving the shaky breath that elicited. “Just like that.”

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was so soft, so breathy as they moved together. It was amazing, so hot, their cocks sliding together, precum making them slick. 

Dean’s pupils were blown wide as he stared into Cas’ eyes. Cas wondered if he looked the same. He wouldn’t doubt it. Dean was his. This boy here loved him, and wanted him. And now they knew for certain that they could both have each other, belong to each other, completely. It was more than Cas could handle.

“Dean,” his voice was choked, “Oh, God, Dean!” He was coming in hot spurts, slicking their hands even more, and he could vaguely see Dean watching him, green eyes wide as he took in the sight, words spilling past his lips.

“God, Cas,” he was mumbling, “so fucking perfect. _God_ , I love you.” And then Cas could feel Dean’s hips bucking, thrusting harder into his hand as he came as well. He fell forward, letting his forehead lean against Cas’, their eyes locking as they both struggled to catch their breath.

Cas stared into those green eyes, so deep and full of love and a hint of that smile that was so purely _Dean_ , and a surge of love overwhelmed him. He cupped Dean’s face in one hand, kissing him. “I love you so much,” he managed, still somewhat breathless. “You….” Dean waited expectantly, curious. “You’re _perfect_.”

At that, Dean burst into laughter. “WOW. Okay, now THAT’S not a word that could _ever_ be used to describe me.”

Cas shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. To me, you are.”

All the laughter faded from Dean’s face; he stared at Cas. Cas’ expression offered no room for dispute. “You are.”

A tiny smile broke on Dean’s face; he stroked Cas’ cheek. “You too. You…..you’re the greatest thing to ever happen to me, you know that, right?”

Cas smiled. “Likewise.” He glanced around. “We should probably leave, before they realize we’re messing around out here, if they haven’t already.”

Dean laughed. “Good point.” He fished around until he found his soccer bag and pulled out a towel, quickly wiping them both off, then tugging up his pants. “C’mon.” He clambered into the front seat, Cas following suit.

Cas glanced over at Dean as they drove. They had their results. Now there was nothing standing in the way of taking things to the next step. He thought once again of the night not too long ago that Dean had called him for phone sex, had said he wanted to do the real thing sometime soon.

He realized Dean was watching him out of the corner of his eye. “What.”

“Nothing. You just seem very pensive.”

“Yeah. Just…..you wanna come to my house tomorrow?”

Dean looked intrigued. “We still haven’t done that.”

Cas huffed a laugh. “Yeah. We kinda suck at making plans and sticking to them.”

Dean laughed. “True.” He paused, thinking. “Well, Sammy doesn’t have any clubs tomorrow.” Cas could feel his heart sinking. “But hey, the kid’s old enough to stay home for a while by himself, right?”

Cas smiled. “Yeah?”

Dean nodded. “I wouldn’t wanna stay out _too_ late, but he’ll be fine home alone. Besides, he’s got a phone. He can call if there are any problems.”

Cas couldn’t stop smiling. “Awesome.”

Dean chuckled. “Yea. Awesome.”

“I have to warn you, Gabriel might be there.”

Dean laughed. “I think I can deal.” He paused. “Will I meet your dad?” The question was timid, and Cas had a good idea why, given Dean’s own father. He clearly didn’t have a good example of one, or how to behave around a normal one.

“I don’t know. I mean, he’ll be home, but I don’t know if he’ll come out of his office at all. Maybe.”

Dean smiled. “I’d like to meet him.” Cas returned the look.

“Hopefully you will.”

They reached the Winchester’s house and parked. Dean looked to Cas. “Movie?”

Cas smiled. “That sounds like a _wonderful_ idea.” He slid out of the car and followed Dean inside. Dean was already halfway to his room, glancing over his shoulder to smile at Cas. The boy was an unstoppable ball of energy, and tomorrow, he would be in Castiel’s bedroom. In his _bed_. The thought was enough to send shivers through Castiel, set his heart pounding. But then Dean threw another smile his way and those nerves eased. He couldn’t not be nervous about the situation, but it was impossible to panic when it was Dean. With Dean, right from the beginning everything had been as easy as breathing. This would be no different, Cas just knew it.

Dean plopped onto the bed beside Cas. “ _Pride & Prejudice’_ okay?”

Cas couldn’t help but shake his head, grinning. “You are SUCH an English geek.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dean pressed play. “Besides, Mr. Darcy is fucking HOT.”

“Oh?” Cas tugged Dean closer, half atop him. “Should I be jealous?”

“Mm….no. You’re still hotter.”

Cas kissed the tip of Dean’s nose. “Glad to hear it.”

Dean snuggled against him, both of them getting comfortable, and they settled in to watch the movie. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, heart racing with anxiety at the thought of all that was to come before them, a combination of nerves and eagerness. He wasn’t sure how he would make it until tomorrow afternoon. He kissed the top of Dean’s head; green eyes looked up at him, curious. 

“Mm? What is it?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. I just love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you too.” And somehow, that smile reassured Cas more than anything else could. 

_I love you_ , he thought silently. _More than anything in the world_.

And tomorrow after school….

Cas flushed bright red at the thought.

He only hoped he lasted that long.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short but necessary chapter. I don't like leaving this stuff up in the air. I hope it wasn't too boring. And this means all the good stuff's coming up next. I'm looking at you, starship_destiel. :P
> 
> Still have a few more chapters written and it's not done yet. God, how has this gotten so long? 
> 
> Leave reviews and I will love you forever! <3


	25. Nothing Can Ever Put Out Our Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outside, the night's as young as us.  
> Tonight it's just the two of us.  
> ~'Weekend', Neon Trees

“So, this is my house….”

Dean stepped inside, looking around. He had only been here the once, the night he had picked Cas up for their date, but he hadn’t made it further than the kitchen. Today he would see it all. Today, he would see Cas’ bedroom. His stomach flip-flopped nervously when he thought of what they would be _doing_ in that bedroom.

“Here.”

Dean’s attention was brought back to the here and now and he saw Cas gesturing to a coat rack. 

“You want to hang up your coat and scarf?”

Oh. Good plan. Dean hung his coat up and removed his scarf but, rather than hang it up, he gently folded it and carefully placed it inside his backpack on the bench beneath the coat rack. Cas was smiling as he watched, knowing what that scarf meant to Dean.

“Don’t worry,” he assured, “it’ll be safe there.”

There was suddenly the sound of a door opening and a man wandered out. 

“Hey, dad,” Cas gave a little wave, but the man didn’t appear to hear. 

So this was Chuck Novak. Dean gave him an appraising look. He was scruffy and unkempt, his hair a much lighter shade of brown than Cas', and he had several days’ growth of beard on his face. His eyes were tired and had a strange, zoned out sort of look to them, as though he wasn’t entirely present in the same house as Dean and Cas but was somewhere else, still back in the land of his book. And wait, was that….

Dean stared. "What.....what's that behind his ear," he whispered. Cas looked, then sighed.

"Dad."

"Mm?" 

"You have a fork behind your ear."

Chuck pulled the fork out, staring at it in surprise, as if it had found its way there all on its own. "So I do." He paused, looking around in bewilderment. "Where's my pencil?" He wandered to the counter. Dean stifled a giggle.

"Is he going to comb his hair with it, like Ariel?" he whispered. Cas rolled his eyes.

"It’s entirely possible." At the counter, Chuck had found his pencil (or _a_ pencil, at any rate), setting it beside the fork as he drank his coffee. “Dad.” Chuck finally stirred from his thoughts, turning to face the two of them. “This is Dean. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dean turned to Cas, surprised that he would share such information so easily. If HE had come out with that information to his _own_ dad, the results would be disastrous. But Chuck merely nodded, smiling.

“It’s nice to meet you, Dean.” And he offered a hand. Dean shook it, feeling completely out of his element in a world where his relationship was so easily accepted. “Will you be staying for dinner?”

Cas gave his dad a skeptical look. “Will you even be HERE for dinner?”

“Hmm?” Chuck didn’t seem to understand for a moment, then the question sank in. “Oh. I don’t know. I’ll try. But you’re more than welcome, Dean. You and Cas can order something. And Gabe, if he’s around.” He poured himself a second cup of coffee. Dean was amazed that he had finished the first one so quickly, but he supposed when you’re in your office working all day, you need a lot of caffeine to sustain yourself. 

Cup in hand, Chuck nodded at the two boys, smiling. "It was nice to meet you, Dean." In his semi-conscious state, he mistakenly picked up the fork rather than the pencil; sticking it behind his ear once more, he headed back down the hall towards his office.

"Dad! Dad, the fork!" But Cas' words fell on deaf ears; Chuck was already drifting back into the world of his book, and the door to the office shut. Cas heaved an exasperated sigh as Dean burst into laughter.

"Is he always like this?" he managed. Cas shook his head.

"Sometimes. I guess half the time. Always, when he's writing. But he's a great dad. Spends a lot of time with us." Cas saw the hint of sadness that had crept into Dean's face and he was stricken with guilt. "Oh, Dean I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Dean shook his head, smiling, though there was something wistful to it. "Hey, no, don't be. Not your fault my dad sucks. And really, your dad seems like a great guy."

Cas shifted, unsure, but Dean didn't seem upset. He smiled. "You can share, if you like." Dean laughed at that, surprised and delighted, and Cas' smile grew. "Unfortunately, Gabriel comes with the package."

"Ugh. That IS something to think about."

"Did I just hear my name and 'package' in the same sentence?" 

The boys turned and there was Gabriel, that obnoxious smirk on his face. “Yes, but not in the way you meant, pervert,” Cas answered.

“Of course not. My sweet baby brother is too innocent for that.” Gabriel pinched Cas’ cheek; Cas swatted his hand away. “I _do_ hope you’re trying to do something about that, Dean.” Dean’s face immediately turned crimson. Gabriel of course, didn’t miss this at all. His eyes widened, a slow, Cheshire Cat grin spreading across his face. “ _Well_. I guess I’ll be heading out, then. It looks as if you two will be wanting the house to yourselves, you lovebirds.”

“Gabriel,” Cas growled. “Can you do ANYTHING without being a jerk about it?”

“Hey, I _could_ stay _here_ and be annoying if you’d rather?”

“That’s perfectly alright.” Cas’ reply came quickly.

Gabriel smirked. “That’s what I thought.” He grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter and headed to the door, pausing just long enough to give them a mocking salute. “Have fun, boys.” And then he was gone.

For once, Cas was almost as red as Dean. “Told you he’s a jerk,” he muttered. Dean actually laughed. Cas looked up curiously. “What. What’s so funny.”

“Nothing. I just love seeing you flustered.”

Cas glared. “Brat.”

“Yup. Now…” Dean took Cas’ hands in his. “Are you going to show me your room or not?”

Cas swallowed with some difficulty. He knew that more would be happening in his room than just a tour. Still, somehow he managed a nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

It wasn’t far to his room, just a flight of stairs and a short hallway away. “This is it.” He held the door open and Dean poked his head in, carefully stepping inside.

It was much bigger than his room at home, though that wasn’t surprising given the size of the Novak’s house. The walls were a pale cream but it was hard to see that, for most every inch was covered in pictures. There were several framed posters, famous paintings, but then it seemed as if Cas had just tacked up photos he had torn from magazines, covering most of the wall space. The floor was hardwood and had paint spatters everywhere, and there was an easel set up on one corner, though no painting was currently on display.

“Well?”

Dean smiled at the nervousness in Cas’ voice and turned to him. “I love it.”

At that, Cas smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yea. It’s very you. You’ve got your classic design and fancy framed paintings but then there’s all this crazy eclectic stuff everywhere. Totally you.”

Those words brought a blush to Cas’ face and Dean just had to kiss him. Then he caught a glimpse of something else on the wall. This one wasn’t hard to spot. It was framed, hung right beside Cas’ bed, directly over his nightstand, as if he wanted it somewhere he could see right before he went to bed every night. It looked _awfully_ familiar. Dean stepped closer to get a look, and his heart leapt when he saw what it was.

_Will you go out with me?_

_YES_

He turned wordlessly to Cas, who was blushing bright red, barely able to look at Dean now. “You……you saved this?”

“Of COURSE I saved it! You said you’d go out with me.”

“….Cas….I had already said I’d go out with you.”

“….yeah, but this time I had it in writing.” Cas wasn’t even looking at Dean now. Dean crossed to his side in two strides, pulling Cas into him and kissing him.

“You,” he said as Cas looked at him in surprise, “are the most ridiculous dork.”

“I am not!”

“ _God_ , Cas. That….” He looked back at the note framed on the wall. “…..that is so Goddamn romantic.”

Cas was still flushing. “Shut up,” he mumbled.

“No.” Dean couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have somehow found his way here. That of all the places in the world, the Winchesters had ended up in this dopey little cow-town in Connecticut and he had met this boy, this impossibly perfect boy, who somehow loved him. “Cas?”

“Mm?”

Feeling so shy now, so nervous, he nuzzled along Cas’ cheek, into the hollow of his throat, whispering “make love to me?” He could feel the way Cas stiffened and for once the reaction didn’t worry him; he knew it was nothing if not good.

“You…..are you sure?” Cas’ voice was quiet, as if the words were getting caught in his throat. Dean pulled back from his hiding spot so he could meet Cas’ gaze, his eyes dead serious as he nodded.

“Positive. I promise.”

Cas stared into Dean’s eyes, searching for the meaning there and finding nothing but love and desire, and utter honesty. With a whimpering groan of need and desire, his hand fisted in Dean’s hair and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Dean’s arms wrapped around Cas as he responded in kind, pulling their bodies flush together. One hand gripped the fabric of Cas’ shirt, the other slipped down to cup his backside, and Cas moaned into his mouth. Dean took advantage of the sound to slip his tongue into Cas’ mouth and Cas only pressed closer, kissing him with more desperation. 

Dean began tugging at Cas’ shirt and Cas broke the kiss, pulling away just enough to raise his arms so Dean could pull the shirt up and off. Dean made a noise of content when he saw that the marks he had made were still there. They had been much more careful lately, finding new places to mark each other rather than the neck, and Cas’ chest and stomach bore purple marks of Dean’s affection all over them.

But now Cas was pulling impatiently at Dean’s shirt, clearly wanting him undressed as well, and Dean complied. He too bore purple lovemarks all over his chest and Cas smiled to see them, leaning down to softly kiss one, lips gently brushing Dean’s nipple on his way back up. Dean hissed at the touch, hands fisting in Cas’ hair. “Pants,” he managed. “Take off your pants.”

Heat flared in Castiel’s eyes at the order; he flicked open the button on his jeans, undid the zipper, the sound deafening in the otherwise quiet room. Soon enough he was peeling off his jeans and briefs and stepping out of them, kicking pants and socks aside, and he was gloriously naked.

Dean just stared. He had never seen Cas 100% naked outside the shower. Never in a situation like this, where it was clear things were about to get sexual. Cas was so Goddamn beautiful, and all Dean could do was stare at him.

Cas reached out a hand, cupping Dean’s cheek. “You okay?” he asked. Dean managed a nod. “We don’t have to do this,” he said softly. “We can wait till you’re ready--” But he got no further before Dean was kissing him.

“Shut up,” Dean said in between kisses. “I’m ready. I’m ready and I wanna do this. I just….” he traced Cas’ cheek, hand trailing down his throat, his chest. “You’re beautiful.”

Cas turned bright red. “Oh my God shut up.”

“No.”

“Yes. Shut up. And take your pants off.”

Dean let out a shaky laugh. “I think I may have forgotten how.”

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle. He knew Dean was exaggerating but he could see all the emotion on Dean’s face and how overwhelmed the boy was. “Well then I suppose I’ll have to help you, won’t I?”

Dean smiled. “I’d like that.”

Cas undid the catches on Dean’s pants, carefully sliding both pants and briefs to the floor. Dean toed off his socks and stepped out of his remaining clothes. Cas was still kneeling before him; he slowly rose to his feet, eyes taking in every exposed inch of skin until Dean was blushing. “What. What’re you doing.”

Cas took Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him softly. “You’re _gorgeous_.”

“Hey. Shut up.”

“No. _You_ didn’t, so I don’t have to.”

“Who invented THAT rule?”

Cas just smiled and kissed Dean again. Then he hesitated and moved towards his dresser. 

“What’re you doing?”

Cas dug through the dresser drawer, Dean watching him curiously, and he pulled out a condom, blushing. Dean shook his head. “No.” He gently pushed Cas’ hands down, refusing the offering. “We already know that we don’t need one. Besides,” and now his face was flushing, cheeks stained pink in a way that was ridiculously becoming. “I just want to feel you. Nothing between us. Just you.”

That was more than Cas could take, a surge of love overwhelming him, and he pulled Dean to him, hands cupping his face as he kissed him hard and deep, the condom falling to the floor, forgotten. Dean made a tiny noise of surprise at the sudden intensity but he certainly didn’t object, arms wrapping around Cas and pulling him closer as they kissed. Cas moved forwards, forcing Dean to walk backwards and steering the boy towards the bed until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he collapsed onto the mattress, taking Cas with him.

Dean didn’t even spare a moment to look surprised at his sudden relocation, merely pulled Cas back into a kiss. But Cas pulled away, laughing. “Gotta move, Dean.”

Dean let out a noise of discontent. “Why.”

“Cuz it’ll be much more comfortable if we’re properly lying on the bed than lying sideways with our legs hanging off the side.”

“…..good point.” 

Cas rolled off of Dean so Dean could crawl up the mattress and reposition himself against the pillows. While he was doing so, Cas went to dig through his bedside table. Dean arched a brow when he saw him.

“Cas?”

Cas shut the drawer and turned around. “Just….” He held up a bottle of lube, cheeks tinged pink. “Thought it was better to get it now than later.”

“Good planning.” Dean looked at the bottle, a smile slowly tugging at his lips. “….that’s pretty empty, Cas. What’ve you been doing that’s had you using so much?”

Cas’ face was crimson now. “….I…..look, you’re very…..distracting, okay?”

Dean’s brows shot up until they were nearly invisible in his hairline. “You’ve been pleasuring yourself while thinking of me?”

“Yes, okay? Yes!” Cas didn’t know that he could get more embarrassed. 

Dean was grinning. “Hot.”

Now THAT Cas hadn’t been expecting. “I…..really?”

“Oh, HELL yea.” And then Dean got that _Look_ in his eyes, that one that told Cas that he was in horrible trouble, but trouble of the best kind. “Maybe sometime you’ll let me watch?”

An overwhelming surge of heat came over him and he dove forward, kissing Dean deeply. “You kinky fucker,” he managed when they separated.

Dean laughed breathlessly. “You know it.” And he wriggled beneath Cas. “Now, I think we were about to do something?”

Oh God. Cas popped open the bottle of lube, letting some drizzle onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up. He saw Dean’s eyes widen, despite his clear efforts to hide all emotions. 

“Hey,” he said softly. “If at any point it’s too much, just let me know.” He knew all too well that this was something else Dean had done with Balthazar….though without lube, the bastard.

Dean shook his head. “It won’t be. I want this.”

Cas sighed, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.” He leaned in, kissing Dean gently. “Gonna go slow, okay?” And he pressed a finger against Dean’s entrance, feeling Dean twitch, the intake of breath, giving him a minute to adjust before he actually pushed in. 

Immediately Dean tensed and Cas kissed him. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.” 

Dean let out a slow, deep breath, nodding. “I know.” And he relaxed. Cas kissed him again. 

“There we go.” He carefully stretched Dean, continuing to lay kisses all over him: his lips, cheek, along his jaw and throat….there was another moment of difficulty when Cas pressed in a second finger, but it wasn’t as bad this time. Dean seemed to be having an easier time centering himself in the here and now with Cas. He trusted Cas, and that helped him relax, no matter what happened.

Cas stroked his hair. “You’re doing so good, baby.” Then he found that sweet spot and Dean cried out, hips bucking. Cas smiled. That would make this exceedingly easier.

Dean was staring up at Cas with wide eyes. “ _Cas_ …” Cas gave him a soft kiss, a questioning look. “ _Fuck_ , Cas, don’t stop.”

Oh, that was good, if Dean was making requests such as that. Cas teased over that spot as he pressed in a third finger, two fingers scissoring as the third worked Dean’s prostate until Dean was nearly sobbing with pleasure.

“Cas….Cas, _please!_ Please, I need you!”

And Cas was not about to refuse Dean. His hand fumbled with the lube, spilling out more than he wanted to as he slicked his cock. He paused above Dean, about to ask one final time if Dean was sure, but he stopped. Dean was looking up at him, their eyes meeting. Those green eyes may have been hazy, but it was with desire and need; there was not a hint of nervousness or uncertainty there. Dean wanted this. He wanted Cas. 

Even as Cas sat there, Dean reached out, hands taking Cas’ face between them. “Cas…” he gently pulled Cas in for a kiss. “Please.” His face was flushed, eyes pleading. 

_God_ , he was so beautiful. Cas found himself unable to speak so he simply nodded, taking a moment to center himself; he leaned in and softly kissed Dean. “Just relax, baby.” And then he was pressing in to that tight heat, a broken moan escaping.

Fuck. Fuck, he was so Goddamn _tight_ , and Cas had a moment of panic that he hadn’t prepared Dean well enough, and he immediately ceased all movement. But as he looked at Dean, Dean didn’t look in pain. He looked…..nervous. A little bit scared. Cas cupped his face. “Hey. Hey, you with me?”

Dean nodded, a series of tiny, rapid little nods. “Yea. M’here.”

Cas kissed him again. “I know it’s a lot at first. Just breathe, okay? Breathe.”

Dean listened, eyes shutting as he took a long, deep breath, slowly releasing it. His eyes fluttered open and, to Castiel’s great relief, he looked much calmer. Cas smiled to see it, relieved. “Okay?”

Dean nodded, a smile playing across his lips. “Okay. You…..you can move now.”

Oh, thank God. Cas thought he was going to lose his mind. He pressed forward and Dean’s breath caught; Cas stopped immediately. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Cas. Keep going.”

So he did, pressing in until he was seated fully within Dean, balls against Dean’s ass. “ _Fuck_.”

“You’re telling me,” Dean’s voice was breathless. Cas looked at him. There was no hint of nerves on Dean’s face any longer. 

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek. “You okay?”

Dean smiled. “Be better if you were moving.” He gave an experimental little wriggle and gasped as Cas’ cock brushed his prostate. “FUCK!”

“S’what you get for having a smart mouth,” Cas retorted, smile on his face. He gave his hips a gentle roll.

“If that’s the repercussion, I will NEVER shut my ohh _hhh God_ ,” Dean moaned again as Cas began to set up a gentle rhythm.

“Like you ever shut up to begin with.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” Dean’s words were nothing more than air. Cas chuckled, leaning in for a kiss, nipping his lower lip.

“Funny….thought that’s what I WAS doing.”

“Mmm…..” Dean’s back was arching as Cas fucked into him and God, he looked gorgeous. “…..harder,” he whispered.

Oh fuck. That one request sent heat flooding through Cas’ body and though he normally would have liked to have checked with Dean to make certain this is what he wanted, he couldn’t help it; his hips snapped forward of their own accord and Dean cried out.

“ _Fuck!_ Yes! Right there!”

Cas been right; Dean’s energy on a daily basis was incredible; in bed he was a wild thing. His arms were around Castiel’s neck and though he had started off with his legs simply wrapped around Cas’ waist, he didn’t seem content to lie in such a passive position. No, Cas found one leg slipping over his shoulder, quickly followed by the other and holy shit, who would have thought Dean was this flexible? Cas had him literally bent in half, fucking him into the mattress and _God_ were they lucky that Mr. Novak was dead to the world and that Gabe had left for the day, for Dean was one _hell_ of a screamer. He thought he had known that from past encounters but this? He was amazed glass wasn’t shattering, alarms weren’t going off, just from the sheer volume of Dean’s cries, and fuck all was it sexy.

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek, somehow able to have a clear thought amidst all this intensity, to realize how ridiculously Goddamn lucky he was to have this boy, to have Dean love him, to have Dean share this moment with him. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you _so much_.”

And those were tears in Dean’s eyes, but they were happy, the smile on Dean’s face made that clear. He pulled Cas into a kiss. “I love you, too,” his words were breathless. “I love you more than anything.”

Then Cas took his cock in hand, pumping it in time with his thrusts and Dean squirmed beneath him. “Cas….Cas, I can’t…”

“C’mon, baby….” Cas rolled his hips, aiming for that sweet spot. “Come for me.”

It didn’t take much more before Dean was coming, white stripes of cum painting Dean’s chest, wetting Cas’ hand. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was the first person to see Dean this way. _Him_. And the only one, if he had his say. “ _God_.”

And then Dean did it, the one thing that Cas had explicitly told Dean drove him crazy. He took Cas’ hand, wet with cum and, without breaking eye contact, licked it clean. 

Cas came so hard that his vision whited out. When he came back to himself, he was flopped atop Dean. “Oh.” Immediately he tried to roll off him, worried about the weight, but Dean grabbed him and held on.

“Hey, no. Stay.”

“Dean! I’m too heavy.”

“Are not. I like you there.”

“Okay.” There was a moment’s silence. “Was that….” Cas spoke up timidly. “Did you like that?”

Dean looked at Cas as if he were completely out of his mind. “Are you _crazy?_ Cas…..” And now he DID give Cas a push, shoving him off and onto his back so that Dean could take up his usual position half atop him. “That was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.”

Cas’ face brightened. “Yeah?”

“ _Definitely_ within the top five.”

Cas laughed at that. “Top five, huh.”

Dean smiled. “Definitely. Gotta leave room for SOME Sammy memories.”

That elicited another laugh. “I suppose that makes sense.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “And you don’t….” His voice was again almost timid, nervous. “You don’t feel at all…..” Dean waited expectantly. “I mean, no bad memories?” 

“……you mean am I going to feel about any of this like I do about Balthazar?” Cas nodded. “…..Cas…” Dean looked so completely and thoroughly exasperated that Cas wasn’t sure what to do. “What part of ‘one of the most amazing experiences of my life’ do you not understand?”

“Well, I-” Cas began, but Dean didn’t let him finish.

“No. You don’t GET any more objections. Cas, you could not be FARTHER from Balthazar. You are sweet, and wonderful, and you love me, and always make certain I feel safe and happy, and I cannot _express_ to you how much that means to me. Even if sometimes I may seem frustrated with you for it.” Dean smiled, and Cas had to smile as well. “And on top of all that, I love you. So much.”

“So…..” Cas had to press the issue; it’s what he did. “….so that’s a ‘no’, then?” 

Dean sighed. “That’s a ‘no.’” 

Cas smiled. “Good.” 

“Very good.” Dean gave Cas a small kiss, stroking his cheek. 

They were silent for several long moments, simply cuddled together, Dean’s head on Castiel’s chest. Then, Cas heaved a sigh. " _Wow_." 

Dean looked up at him. Cas was staring up at the ceiling and there was something akin to awe on his face. It was as if, now that he’d had several minutes for things to set in, he had come to some conclusion. 

"What?" Dean asked, curious. 

Cas looked at Dean, shaking his head. "There's no WAY a virgin fucks like THAT." 

Dean burst into startled laughter. "Well. Glad I could surprise you." Not that he was really a virgin, they had been over this, but in matters of gay sex he was, so he supposed where Cas was concerned, it counted. 

"More like amaze." Cas stroked Dean's cheek and let his hand continue downward, trailing a teasing path along his side. "You are so wonderful. And not just because of this,” he hastily added. “ _God_ , how did I get lucky enough to have you choose me?" 

Dean knew he was verging on sappiness territory but he couldn't help it; he kissed Cas, smiling. "Cuz you're wonderful, too." 

True enough, Cas laughed. "Sap." 

"What? You'd rather I say 'it was all cuz of that sweet ass'?" 

"Well I DO have a pretty nice ass," Cas said matter-of-factly. 

"Cas. You barely HAVE an ass." 

"Hey. Are you saying you don't LIKE my lack-of ass?" Cas was mock-indignant. 

“Oh, I _adore_ it,” Dean affirmed, amusement in his voice. 

“Hmph.” Cas sniffed. “Good.” 

Dean just shook his head, grinning. “SUCH a dork.” Then, he wrinkled his nose. “I’m all wet.” 

“What? OH.” Cas flushed as realization dawned. “Yeah, that…..well…..you didn’t want the condom.” 

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t want anything separating us, and I don’t regret it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” He reached down between his legs and his fingers came up wet; he looked to Cas, smiling. “Still not as sexy a couple minutes after it’s happened.” 

Cas couldn’t help but smile. “I suppose not.” 

“And your sheets are gonna need a wash.” 

"Aww, man.” 

“Hey, it’s technically YOUR mess…” Dean was grinning, a teasing tone to his voice. 

“Oh, are we gonna get technical about it?” Cas swatted him. Dean just laughed. 

“Don’t you know? It’s always best to be technical.” He shifted, making another little face. “I should probably clean up. I’m guessing this will NOT feel very nice once it cools down.” 

“Probably not.” Cas sat up as well. “You wanna take a shower?” 

Dean smiled. “That sounds _perfect_.” 

**~*~**

Dean shut the front door behind him. It was 10 at night, so he had gotten home later than he had intended, but he couldn’t find it in him to be bothered. He was so happy he felt as if he could fly, and his face hurt from smiling so much. 

Sam came into the kitchen, wearing an expression of supreme bitchface. “Where have _you_ been?” But he stopped dead when he saw the smile on Dean’s face. “What’s up with _you?_ ” Dean didn’t answer, kicking off his boots. Sam narrowed his eyes. “Do I want to know?” 

“Probably not,” Dean answered. He headed past Sam to his bedroom, calling “night, Sammy!” 

Once inside, he hung up his scarf and flopped onto his bed. He had no idea how he’d get to sleep that night. 

Just then, his phone buzzed. Cas. It had to be. But his brow furrowed in confusion when he saw the message….or rather messages, plural. 

_Dean, my dearest darling love, I thank you for making sweet sweet lo asdfalloihgiwe_

_Dean I_

_Plucking the flower of my innocensssaghtrh32_

_Dean_

Dean stared at his phone, completely confused. _Cas, what the fuck._

_Dean, it’s Gabriel being an asshole._

Oh. That explained things. Dean couldn’t help a burst of laughter. _Tell him I said he’s a dick and to piss off. It’s not our fault he’s not getting any._

_Hey, I’ll have you know I have a very active sex life, thank you very much._

_Then you shouldn’t be so interested in mine and Cas’._

_……touche, Romeo. Touche._

There was a moment where no one answered and Dean wondered what was happening between the two brothers, and then Cas messaged him. 

_I don’t know how that worked but it worked._

_Heh. Good. Maybe now he’ll leave you alone and you can get some sleep. I love you, Cas._

_I love you too._

Dean set his phone aside and lay back on his bed. He had no idea how he would get any sleep at all when he had so much to think about. That day had been beyond amazing. His mind was running wild with memories of Cas….the way he had looked, and felt….those blue eyes and all the love within them…..his touch, so soft and caring…. 

Dean rolled over, arms wrapping around a pillow and hugging it tight to his chest, a smile on his face. 

Definitely one of the best days of his _life_. 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is getting posted a day early because tomorrow is the 200th episode and I'm sure we'll all be busy. :P
> 
> This one was LITERALLY twice as long as most normal chapters. I hope you enjoy all the happy smut! Honestly, I think I might love Chuck and Gabe more than all the smut haha.


	26. As Long as We're Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love is a loss that we incur  
> when we gamble with the world  
> I don’t wanna lose you  
> I feel my life has just begun  
> I can hear you sing along  
> Now the music’s in you.  
> ~'Still Young', Neon Trees

It was Wednesday night and the Winchesters were on their way to the Harvelle’s house for dinner. Dean was sitting cheerfully in the backseat of the Impala, having relinquished the front to Sammy for once, and was whistling along with the music on the radio. One of John Winchester’s more redeeming qualities was his taste in music. Dean could listen to Led Zepplin all day.

Still, it wasn’t a long drive. Jo bounded out the front door to meet them, despite the bite in the air. It had been growing increasingly colder at night. Soccer practice was getting to be a bit of a bitch, though Dean would always quickly work up enough of a sweat that he didn’t feel the cold anymore. Warmly he thought of the next day, the final game before telling everyone about him and Cas. Then they’d let everyone know the day after. 

He let himself be half squeezed to death by first Jo and then her mother, giving Bobby a handshake, then retreated to the basement to play pool until dinner. Ellen Harvelle ran a roadhouse so Jo was there a lot and had ample time to play pool….by this point she was damn good at it. But Dean wasn’t half bad himself. Over the years he’d spent many a night sneaking into places like the roadhouse (and even a few bars that he was _way_ too young for but which weren’t so particular about whom they let in) and doing a bit of hustling. He’d had to on occasion, to put food on the table when John got drunk once too often and spent all their money at the bar, and occasionally so he could buy Sammy new clothes, or presents for Christmas or his birthday. It was a skill that came in handy. Not that he’d ever tell any of this to Sammy. 

Sam, it turned out, was a TERRIBLE pool player, and complained horribly and pestered Dean about where he’d picked up the skill. Dean just claimed to be a natural and, when Jo raised a skeptical eyebrow, gave her a look that said if she opened her mouth the consequences would be dire.

“Jo? Boys? Dinner!”

Dean set his pool cue aside. “Resume after dinner?”

Jo nodded. “When I’ll finish kicking your ass.”

Dean just laughed. “Yea, we’ll see about that.” The three of them tromped upstairs to where the adults were waiting, Bobby helping Ellen with the food, John watching awkwardly, looking as though he didn’t know what he should be doing.

“Here, Ellen, let me get that.” Dean stepped in and took the baked ziti from her, careful to hold it by the oven mitts so as not to burn his hands.

“Thank you, Dean.”

Quickly they got the rest of the table set and were seated, and for a while, everything seemed to be going smoothly. Things generally did when they were at the Harvelle house. Everyone got along well, which was impressive for John Winchester. But tonight he seemed ill at ease, and about halfway through dinner they found out why.

“I have an announcement to make.” He set his beer down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Dean had an immediate feeling of dread. This couldn’t be anything but bad. “Boys? We’re going to move.”

Dean’s heart plummeted, his stomach dropping to the floor, and he was on his feet without even realizing it. “Dad, no! I _can’t!_ I can’t leave--” but he broke off, flushing.

John’s face was a strange combination of emotions: anger at being defied, confusion as to Dean being attached to a location for the first time in his life (as far as HE knew….Dean had never outwardly shown any attachment to a home other than when they left his grandparents), and a desire to know what it was Dean was so reluctant to leave. "Can't leave what, Dean?”

Dean was silent, knowing there was no way to explain. He didn’t know what his father’s response would be to this relationship on the best of terms; if he told him right now, they would move for sure. “Leave _what_ , Dean?” And this time each word was annunciated, sharp; John was irritated that Dean wasn’t answering him. Still, Dean was silent. “ANSWER ME!”

“Leave him alone!”

Both John and Dean looked at Sam in surprise. Sam was the quiet one, the one who always avoided conflict if at all possible. “Does he need a reason to want to stay? We’re ALWAYS moving! Why can’t we just stay in one place for once?!”

“Boy, don’t argue with me!”

“That’s enough!” Ellen’s voice cut through the yelling. John stared at her, unable to believe she would interrupt him, would dare to interfere with him disciplining his sons. “Now I can’t stop you when you’re at home, but don’t you dare yell at those boys while you’re under my roof.”

John looked as if he were about to explode. “They’re my kids and I can do what I damn well want!”

“You’ve done what you ‘damn well want’ for far too long.” John opened his mouth to speak but Ellen wasn’t done. “And you can feel free to move away wherever you want, but the boys are staying here in Connecticut.”

Dean felt an overwhelming sensation of shock. Could she _do_ that?

"Like _hell_ they are."

"Dean's old enough to make his own decision. Hell, he's almost old enough to live on his own if he wants." Which was something Dean had never thought of. He was nearly eighteen, technically an adult in the eyes of the law. He'd be free to live wherever and however he chose. But how would he live without Sammy? He couldn’t leave Sammy alone with his dad, he just _couldn’t_. He _wouldn’t_. 

But Ellen wasn’t done yet. "And I won't have any trouble keeping Sam,” she continued. “You won't fight me on this, John, because you won't win. I've kept track of your behavior and habits since you've been here, and any Child Services would rather see Sam with a caring family friend than with a father who's drunk and away from home as often as you are.” John’s face was stormy, and Ellen’s voice softened ever so slightly but it was still firm, determined. “I like you, John, and I don't want to do that, but if I have to I will. These boys need some stability in their lives."

John’s face was terrifying. Dean had grown up around expressions like that and even _he_ found this one frightening. Without another word, his father turned away and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Seconds later, the Impala roared to life and then John could be heard driving away, the sound of the motor fading into the distance. Great. He had left them there. Not that Dean had _wanted_ to get back in the car with him but still.

He looked away from the door. Bobby looked thoroughly disgusted, as if he couldn’t believe a father would treat his children that way. Jo looked utterly shocked, and oh fuck, was she crying? She looked like she was about to cry. Dean didn’t know if he could handle her crying.

Ellen, on the other hand….Ellen looked almost completely unaffected other than a grim expression on her face. Cleary she was used to John and his temper tantrums by now, and after so many years, that wasn’t really surprising. “You boys okay?”

Dean nodded. “Yea.” Inside he felt barely suppressed panic but he knew he had to hold it together, at least until they were away from the Harvelle house. He patted Sam’s shoulder, smiling at him, and Sam smiled back. Good. The kid was okay. “We’re fine.” He paused, unsure how to handle things. This was such an unusual situation. “…..thank you.”

“I meant every word,” Ellen answered. “You two are going to stay here in Connecticut as long as you want. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Thank you.” Dean practically whispered the words. He didn’t know how she would pull it off, but if anyone could do it, it was Ellen. She was the most determined woman, no, _person_ , he had ever met. It was amazing having someone like her on their side.

“Now….do you boys want to spend the night? There’s plenty of room. If not, I can give you a ride home; it’s no problem.”

Dean felt relieved. “That would be great. The ride, I mean. I know I at least sleep better in my own bed. And I’m pretty damn sure dad’s at the bar right now, so we’d have the house to ourselves for a bit.”

Ellen nodded. “Well then,” she rose, looking between the two boys. “Should we get going?”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean had barely finished thanking Ellen, barely gotten out of the car and shut the door before he had his phone in hand, dialing Cas’ number with shaky fingers.

Cas answered on the first ring. “Hey.” He sounded ridiculously happy to hear from Dean and Dean felt a momentary wave of guilt for all the crap he was about to dump on Cas.

“Can you come over?”

He could immediately feel the mood shift as Cas heard the tremor in Dean’s voice, the pain there. “Of course I can.” There was a scuffling sound, no doubt Cas getting his things together, his shoes on. “What’s wrong?”

“My dad….my dad told us he wants to move.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone. “….I….” Clearly Cas had no idea how to react to that; his own voice was hesitant, almost scared. “…..when? Where?”

“I don’t think we actually are. Ellen cussed him out. Said she’d never let him take us. He got all pissed, stormed out. I just can’t…..” Dean felt somewhat hysterical laughter bubbling forth. “Cas, please. I need you.”

“I’m on my way, baby. Ten minutes, tops. Promise.” The words were reassuring. “Just….keep talking to me. What are you doing?”

Dean knew Cas was trying to get him to focus on something else, to calm him down. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m in my room. Just…..walking around.” Better known as pacing. At this rate he was going to wear a hole in the floor.

“Okay. Why don’t you sit? Can you do that for me, baby?”

Dean nodded, even though Cas couldn’t see it. “Yea. Yea, okay.” He was vaguely aware of the fact that Sam was in the house, alone in his room, probably handling this in a much more mature way than Dean was. Still, he wasn’t sure. “….I should probably go check on Sammy.”

“Okay. You do that. And I’ll see you in a couple minutes, okay?”

“Yea. Okay.”

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

The phone clicked and Dean set it aside, leaving his room and heading down the hall to Sam’s. He knocked softly on the door. “Sammy?”

The response was quiet. “Come in.” 

Dean opened the door slowly, poking his head in. Sam was sitting on his bed, legs folded beneath him. He didn’t look happy, but he wasn’t having a breakdown like Dean had just been. “Hey.”

Sam’s big eyes looked up at Dean. They were filled with a combination of anger and frustration. “Hey.”

Dean gestured to the bed. “May I?” Sam nodded and Dean sat. He had to get it together, for Sam’s sake. He was the big brother, he was supposed to be the mature one. Taking a deep breath, he shoved those panicky feelings deep down into the pit of his stomach. “You okay?”

Sam shook his head. “He’s such a bastard! Why can’t we just stay in one place for once?!”

“Cuz he’s an asshole.”

Sam just shook his head again, eyes narrowed in anger. “It’s not fair! He’d make you leave Cas!”

Dean felt a wave of warmth to see how much his brother cared for him and his happiness. He wrapped an arm around Sam’s shoulders but said nothing, not having a response. Of _course_ John would make Dean leave Cas. There was no question about that.

“What about you?” He asked suddenly. “You must have people _you_ don’t want to leave.” That only made Sam’s face grow even more upset.

“Yeah. All my friends. Especially….” He flushed slightly, looking at his lap as he mumbled “….Sarah.”

Dean had to lean closer to hear the name. “Sarah?” he echoed. “She the blonde or the brunette?”

Despite the anger and sadness on his face, Sam still registered surprise that Dean remembered the two girls. “Brunette. And we’re not even a couple. It’s not fair for us to leave town before I even have a chance to ask her out!”

Dean’s heart ached for Sam, and he felt another wave of anger at his father. “We won’t leave, Sammy.”

Sam looked up at him with those big puppy dog eyes. “Promise?”

Aw, fuck. Dean hated to make promises when he wasn’t certain he could keep them. Still, he nodded. “I promise.”

It was all worth it to see the smile light up Sam’s face, to get wrapped in one of Sam’s tight hugs. “Thanks, Dean.”

Dean hugged Sam back. “No problem, Sammy.”

There was suddenly the sound of a car outside and Dean jumped. “Cas!”

Sam released him, a smile on his face. “Go on.”

Dean needed no further permission; he was on his feet in an instant, running for the front door and flinging it open. Cas was there, hand raised to knock but before he could, Dean was throwing himself at Cas. Cas’ arms automatically wrapped around Dean, catching him, eyes wide in surprise. “Dean!”

It was as if seeing Cas had broken a dam inside him, letting all those feelings of fear and panic burst forth. "I was so scared," Dean whispered. "I was so Goddamned _SCARED_."

“Me too,” Cas admitted. “As soon as you mentioned moving I thought my heart would stop.” He pulled away enough to look Dean in the eye. “But you don’t think you’re going to?”

Dean shook his head. “Ellen gave my dad a hell of a talking to. Pointed out that I’m nearly old enough to live on my own and that if he tries to take Sam away, she’ll report him to Child Services as a crappy dad and make sure she gets custody.”

It didn’t seem possible that Castiel’s eyes could get any bigger, his brows shooting up. “Holy shit.”

“I know, right?”

“That woman is ballsy.” Dean laughed at Cas’ terminology. “Though I suppose one would have to be to date Mr. Singer.”

“True.”

Cas smiled, taking Dean’s hands. “Let’s go inside,” he said softly. “Get you in some pajamas.”

Dean hadn’t noticed that he was shaking until he tried changing his clothes, but it turned out to be difficult, his hands shaking badly. Cas immediately took over the job, helping Dean out of his jeans and into a pair of soft pajama pants, changing his shirts, and guiding him to bed.

Cas had arrived in his pajamas. He had probably been reading in bed when Dean called. Dean held out his hands and Cas smiled, taking them and crawling into bed beside him. Dean immediately snuggled into his customary position, head on Cas’ chest. “Cas?” His voice was soft.

“Mm?”

“Stay the night?”

"Of course." Cas said the words as though there had never been any question about the matter.

Dean felt calm settling in at the thought of having Cas with him all night. Then, his brow furrowed. "What about your car?" His tone was anxious. "Dad can't see your car, he'll know--" he pushed himself up to one elbow but he got no further before Cas was tugging him back, pulling Dean to lie back against his chest. 

“Its not there. I had Gabe drive me." He resumed the soothing stroking of Dean's hair. "Thought you might want me to stay." 

Dean smiled. "You're the best."

"I know."

Dean just laughed, catching Cas' free hand with his own and slotting their fingers together, bringing them to his mouth so he could kiss the back of Cas' hand. Cas made a happy little sound at the kiss, pulling Dean ever so slightly closer.

The two snuggled together silently for a long time, content with each other’s presence. Finally, Cas spoke up. “Dean?”

“Yea?”

“You’re not moving.”

“No?”

“I’m not letting you.” He sounded just as firm and stubborn on this point as Dean had ever heard him about anything. Dean smiled.

“Well, then. I suppose that’s all settled.”

“Damn straight.”

Dean bit back a chuckle. “Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! I must apologize to everyone for making John such a crappy dad. I honestly don't have it in for John Winchester....I just find that, for the plot of this story, I need to abolish all his good qualities and use only the bad ones. So I'm sorry to any John fans!
> 
> Why Sarah and not Jess? I thought Sarah was pretty damn awesome, and I can never really like Jess just because the writers/costumers/whoever put her in a slutty nurse costume. Sorry, Jess, I'm biased towards you. Educated art girl it is. XD
> 
> I must remind and/or inform everyone that this story WILL have a happy ending. I say that because the next couple chapters have a decent amount of angst in them. One of them is just a whomping pile of angst, and it's around 20 pages long. So I apologize in advance. :(
> 
> Is everyone cool with the fact that this isn't completely Dean/Cas-centric but focuses on a bigger picture? Because I was looking over my plot outline today and it looks a lot like its going to delve into a much bigger picture, not just their private romance. So I hope everyone likes reading about the rest of the cast and not just our main two.^^;;;;
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and what's to come, and that you all watched the 200th episode! DESTIEL!!!


	27. When We Gamble With the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we kiss like we do in my head?  
> Can we dance like we do on my bed?  
> Like we’re still young.  
> ~’Still Young’, Neon Trees

Dean smiled as he tightened his soccer cleats, looking up at the sky. It was a beautiful day-- the air was a bit crisp but the sun was out and there wasn’t much breeze. It was a perfect day to play soccer.

And the game…..this was THE game. The final game before he and Cas came out as a couple. Just the thought sent spikes of happiness shooting through Dean.

“ _You’re_ in a good mood.”

Dean glanced at Garth. The boy was smiling at him, which wasn’t surprising in and of itself (Garth was ALWAYS smiling) but this time there was something different there. Garth knew why Dean was happy. He may not know the exact reason but he knew it had to do with Cas. Dean smiled back. “Yea,” he replied. “I am.”

Something just behind Dean’s head caught Garth’s attention and he gave a nod in that direction. “I think here comes the reason why.”

Dean’s head whipped about and sure enough, Cas was walking towards them. Dean flashed a brilliant smile Garth’s way, so grateful, and jogged over. “Cas, what’re you doing here?” Honestly, Cas shouldn’t be down on the field like this, even if it was all the way on the sidelines. This was where the players were.

Cas simply smiled. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.” Dean’s heart melted a little bit. “And I’ll see you after the game, yeah?”

Dean nodded. “Definitely. You’re staying over tonight.” Cas’ brows shot up; apparently he hadn’t known about THAT one, but Dean’s tone brooked no argument. Dean just smiled, a look in those green eyes. “As of tomorrow, we’ll have a LOT to celebrate. May as well get started early.” 

There was a heated promise in his voice that _did things_ to Cas; the brunette swallowed with some difficulty. Still, the thought of what they'd be celebrating sent butterflies racing through him. Soon everyone would know about the two of them. He felt an overwhelming swelling of happiness, a smile breaking over his face. “Yeah.”

 _God_ , Dean looked so happy, so beautiful. He opened his mouth to speak but whatever he was going to say was cut off by the shriek of Adler’s whistle. “I gotta go. I’ll see you after the game?”

Cas nodded. “I’ve got a seat right up front.” He pointed just behind them where Charlie and Gabriel were sitting, Sam and his friend Sarah wedged tight between them. The seats put them only a few feet higher than the field. If Dean climbed up on a bench, he could reach them. He had no idea how he hadn’t noticed the four of them….he supposed because he’d been too caught up in Cas. 

Now that Cas and Dean had finished talking, it seemed as if the others felt that they had permission to speak and they immediately began hollering, a deafening chorus of ‘good luck’s and ‘kick ass!’

Dean just shook his head, smiling. “Right there, huh.”

Cas nodded. “Nice and close.”

For some reason the proximity filled Dean with a sense of comfort. Knowing Cas would be so close by…..it felt good. “I wish I could kiss you,” he said softly.

Cas’ smile was wistful. “Me too.”

Dean hesitated and for a minute it looked as though he might go for it; Cas stared at him with wide eyes. Then Adler’s whistle blew again and both of them stirred, the spell broken. Dean smiled.

“See you in a while?”

Cas gave Dean’s hand a squeeze. “Go out there and kick some ass.”

Dean grinned, squeezing back. “Yes, sir.”

 

**~*~**

 

It had been an extremely hard game so far, and Dean was in his glory. He didn’t like things to be too easy, hated to be handed things. It was surprising that he would feel that way after a lifetime of being denied most everything he wanted, but he did. Dean liked a challenge, and this game was definitely a challenge. But they were going to win. He knew it. Knew it the same way he knew he would never let anyone take Sammy away from him. Knew it just as he knew the two of them were never leaving this town. Knew it with just as much certainty as he knew, right to his very core, that he would never leave _Cas_. 

Dean’s thoughts were so intense, narrowed down to one point of complete and utter focus, that he almost didn’t notice his foot connecting with the ball, or the ball evading the goalie’s hands and hitting the net. No, the reality of kicking the winning goal only sank in when his teammates began jumping on him, beginning, naturally, with Garth. It felt like a dream. He could have predicted their team winning but for him to be the one to do it? THAT would have seemed like a fantasy. Not that he wasn’t skilled…..he was and he knew it. But for things to work out this perfectly? Now THAT was something out of a dream.

He glanced around him, trying to get a glimpse of Cas through the many bodies surrounding him. Finally, he managed to extricate himself, with help from Garth, and it wasn’t hard to spot his friends. They were probably screaming louder than anyone in the stands. Since he had last seen them, Benny and Ash had joined the group and holy shit, even Bela? They were waving homemade signs with his name on them.

He shook his head as he neared them, smiling, but he didn’t have much time for that at the moment. Not when Cas was smiling at him that way, looking so proud and happy and oh fuck, he couldn’t stop himself.

“Dean, I--” but Cas got no further, for Dean had climbed up on the bench and, grabbing hold of Cas’ shirtfront, he tugged Cas forwards over the railing of the bleachers and into a kiss.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/soccommission_zpss3fimbnn.png.html)

There was a moment where a hush fell over the crowd, then everyone exploded. Dean was barely aware of the noise, too happy at that moment to hear a thing. The kiss was brief but it seemed to last forever; it was the first time he was able to kiss Cas in public and that was such a beautiful thing. 

When Dean pulled away, Cas was staring at him in complete and utter shock. Dean just smiled up at Cas, completely happy, completely at ease. “All in,” he said.

At those words, Cas’ face melted into a smile; his hands cupped Dean’s face. “All in,” he echoed, and gave Dean another soft kiss, the cries of the stadium completely drowned out by the happiness overwhelming him.

Everything around them seemed so quiet; they were completely lost in each other. Dean grinned when they separated, chuckling. “Guess the big announcement’s unnecessary.”

Cas huffed a laugh. “Think you just made a much bigger one.”

“True.” A look of worry came over Dean’s face. “Are you upset?”

“No! I was surprised, but no.” Cas stroked Dean’s cheek. “It was actually horribly romantic.”

That made Dean smile. “Yea?”

“Oh yeah. Like something out of a romance novel.”

Dean just laughed. “Okay, now you’re getting cheezy.”

“Am not!” Cas protested. Dean just shook his head, grinning.

“Well….you wanna get out of here? Get started on all that celebrating?”

Cas smiled. “Sounds great.”

“Okay. Just gotta get my stuff from the locker room and I’ll be right back.” Dean leaned in, giving Cas a quick kiss and then high-fiving his friends and brother as he walked along the bench, jumping down and heading towards the locker room. He noticed Meg, who had been sitting several bleachers away but had clearly seen the whole thing, whispering to several of his teammates, but he thought nothing of it.

 

**~*~**

 

Garth was already in the locker room when Dean arrived, and he smiled at Dean. “Congratulations.”

Dean’s face already hurt from so much smiling. “Thanks, Garth.”

“I mean it. I’m really happy for you two.”

“Thanks.” Garth was such a good guy. If for no other reason, it would have been worth joining soccer just to meet him. “Hey, the group of us are gonna go do something. You wanna come?”

“Most definitely. Just give me ten minutes to shower.”

Dean rifled through his bag, finding a change of clothes. He didn’t want to get completely changed without showering (he supposed they’d stop by his place on the way out so he could grab a quick shower) but he could at least pull on a clean shirt.

“Well well well.”

Dean didn’t turn at the sound of Dick’s voice. Yes, it probably was concerning him and the little show he had just put on, but that didn’t mean he had to respond.

“Looks like we’ve had a faggot on our team all this time.”

The word made him tense, but he still ignored the voice. _Don’t rise to the bait_. But that thought became moot seconds later when hands grabbed him and spun him around. His back slammed into the tiled wall hard enough to take the wind out of him and he swung blindly, his reflexes kicking in. He actually hit something, his fist connecting with Dick’s jaw, but just barely.

“Feisty little bastard, aren’t you.” Dick sounded more amused than anything. “Dan, Rob, hold him, would you.”

But there was no way Dean was going to make it easy for them. Maybe they could hold his arms but he still had his legs, and he kicked and flailed like crazy. Finally two other boys were ordered to hold his legs down and then he was truly screwed. He opened his mouth to scream and quickly found it stuffed full of something, most likely a sock. Some hysterical corner of his mind hoped that it was clean. He didn’t have long to think of that though before he was slammed into the wall again, and this time his head snapped back into the tile hard enough that he saw stars. He didn’t have a moment to recover from that before he was being hit. Once, twice, first in the face and then in the stomach, again and again until he was doubled over, gasping for breath which he couldn’t catch around the gag in his mouth, in too much pain to remember to breathe through his nose.

_Cas_ , he thought desperately. _Don’t come looking for me_. He couldn’t bear to think of Cas being hit this way.

“What the hell is this?”

That voice. He knew that voice. Dick went flying across the room and one of the boys holding Dean released him, moving to attack the newcomer. Dean struggled to open his eyes, trying to puzzle out where he knew that voice and….

….. _Garth?_

For it was Garth, kicking the ever-loving shit out of the boys who had been hurting Dean. Who the hell would’ve thought Garth had it in him? “Dean, get out of here!”

Dean’s eyes still didn’t want to open; he couldn’t see how many boys there were but there were enough that it felt wrong to leave Garth there alone. He tried to shake his head but it only made things spin, sent sparks dancing before his eyes, and Garth threw another one to the ground. “Dean, go!”

Some part of Dean’s mind, the part that was still functioning, told him that he would be of no help here and he was far better leaving and getting someone else to help Garth. He managed after a couple of tries to get to his feet and stumbled from the locker room and out onto the field.

There was an immediate reaction when Dean emerged, nose bloody, bruises forming. Everyone who was still there was shocked. But Castiel’s voice broke through the crowd. “DEAN!” He half climbed half fell over the railing, running down the field towards Dean and catching him just as he was about to fall, helping him to the ground. "Dean! Are you okay??" His voice was panicky. Benny and Ash were there as well, Charlie and Bela close behind them. Gabriel could be seen helping Sam find his way through the crowd. Sam’s friend Sarah was hanging back, uncertainty on her face, not knowing whether to follow Sam or give him space.

"Yea,” Dean managed at last. “I’m okay. It’s Garth. He saved me. He's all alone in there..." He was so flustered, panicking. “Someone, please…” 

“I’ve got it, Dean. Don’t worry.” Benny immediately headed in to help Garth, Ash hot on his heels. 

Dean was completely freaking out, unable to focus on anything until he knew that Garth was okay. Cas, on the other hand….Cas was not just worried, he was FURIOUS. He stroked Dean’s cheek, careful of the bruise forming around his eye.

“Who did this,” he asked softly. “Do you know who it was?”

Dean shook his head. “Dick. Rob and Dan. There were others but I couldn’t see who.” Realization dawned as a memory flooded back. “……Meg.”

“Meg?”

“Meg was talking to them right before I went in the locker room. I saw her.”

Cas’ face filled with such rage that Dean was almost afraid; he moved to rise to his feet and panic completely overwhelmed Dean at the thought of Cas leaving. He grabbed at Cas. “No!”

Charlie immediately stopped Cas, her hands on his shoulders. “Cas, not now.”

“I’m gonna _kill_ her,” he growled.

“Dean needs you here right now,” she whispered. 

Cas looked down at Dean, who was still clutching at him, and a wave of emotion overcame him. Sadness, guilt for almost leaving, and love for this boy. He knelt down before Dean again. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, softly kissing Dean. “I won’t leave. I promise.”

Dean’s entire body relaxed. “Thank you.”

Bela knelt beside them on the grass, removing her white cardigan and holy shit, began dabbing at Dean’s bloody nose. Jesus. Dean had no idea how much that sweater must have cost and now here it was, stained (probably irreversibly) with his blood. He stared at her, wide-eyed, and she smiled reassuringly. 

Garth, Benny, and Ash emerged from the locker room, none the worse for wear. “It’s all taken care of,” Benny said. “Not that there was much _to_ take care of, by the time we got there.” He clapped Garth on the back. “This guy had pretty much kung fu’d them to death.”

That actually got a laugh out of Dean. “Yea, Garth is pretty badass.”

Sam and Gabe had finally reached them. “Dean!” Sam had tears in his eyes. “You….what…..”

“Hey, hey, I’m okay, Sammy.” And honestly it was Sam’s tears that got to him at last, making him tear up himself.

Finally teachers were beginning to reach the field, Principal Moseley coming over to see what was going on. Dean was feeling completely overwhelmed. Luckily Garth had been there and seen almost all of it and was able and willing to do the talking for him. All Dean had to do was say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Then it was up to the principal and Adler to deal with the soccer players who had taken matters into their own hands. Dean was certain he saw Adler throw a dirty look his way, and he was pretty damn positive his career as a soccer player at Chitaqua High was over.

“Mr. Fitzgerald, if you’ll join us?”

Garth looked to his friends. “Guess I’ll be missing the party.”

Dean shook his head. “I think we’ll be postponing the party.”

“Well…..I’ll see you in school tomorrow, then.” Garth gently patted Dean’s shoulder. “Take care of yourself.” And he headed off towards the locker rooms with Adler and the principal to see to the unconscious teammates.

The others all looked at each other. “So,” Charlie said at last. “Party postponed until later?”

Cas nodded. “I think we should just get this one into bed. Get him some ice packs. Have a nice, quiet night.”

“Mmm,” Dean gave an affirmative mumble. “Sounds good.” And it was his agreement more than anything that confirmed how much he needed it. Normally Dean would NEVER want to stay in bed.

“Okay.” Charlie crouched beside Dean and gently kissed his temple. “Love you,” she said softly. He smiled at her.

“I love you too, Bradbury.” He looked up at all of them. “Thanks, guys. You’re all amazing.”

Sam was still watching with worried eyes. “Do you want me to come home with you?” Sam had come to the game with Sarah and was supposed to spend the afternoon with her. There was no way Dean was going to infringe upon that. He shook his head.

“No way. You go finish your date.”

“SHUT UP!” Sam was immediately bright red, head whipping all around in search of Sarah, terrified she’d heard. But she was still waiting in their original seats, watching them with concern. When she saw him looking, she gave a tentative smile and wave. He smiled back at her, waving as well. Dean huffed a laugh.

“See? You go have fun, Sammy. Seriously. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Sam darted over to him, leaning in to whisper “I’m really proud of you for what you did. I love you, jerk.” And then, Dean couldn’t believe it, Sam gave him a lightning fast kiss on the cheek, so quick no one would be able to see it, and then he was off and running back towards Sarah.

Dean watched him go, smile on his face. Seriously, he had the greatest, most amazing brother ever.

“Here, let’s get you on your feet.” Cas carefully, gently helped him up. “You okay?” Dean nodded. “Okay. Then let’s get you home.”

The two headed off towards the parking lot to a chorus of ‘bye, Dean’ and ‘feel better!’. Every inch of Dean’s body ached but it was all nothing in comparison to the feeling of Cas’ hand holding his. They had never before been able to hold hands in public. Now, they could hold hands, kiss, almost anything they liked. It felt AMAZING. 

Cas glanced Dean’s way and saw him smiling. “What?”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing, just. I’m so happy.”

THAT got a reaction, Castiel’s brows shooting up. “Happy? After what just happened to you?”

Dean nodded. “Yea. Cuz now everyone knows we’re together. We can hold hands like this whenever we want. Can KISS whenever we want. That’s worth _any_ amount of beatings.”

He saw the smile overcome Cas’ face. “I guess I can see what you mean.” He frowned. “But no getting beat up. I don’t like it.”

Dean laughed. “Okay, okay.”

Then suddenly, Dean stopped dead, though he didn’t let go of Cas’ hand. If anything, he only gripped it tighter. “Dean?” Cas looked at him, worry in his eyes, but it wasn’t hard to figure out what had the boy so upset. Dean was staring dead ahead, his eyes locked on the figure of his father.

John Winchester’s face was stormy and frozen in a mask of anger, especially at the sight of the two holding hands. Neither had known he was even going to BE at the game, but the look on his face made it clear that he had in fact been there and had seen the entire thing, kiss and all. “Dean.” His voice held barely suppressed emotion, and none of it was pleased. “Get in the car.”

Dean paused for a moment, then turned to Cas. “I gotta go,” he said softly.

Cas glanced at John. “Will you be alright?”

Dean hesitated. Cas didn’t like that at ALL. “….yea,” he said at last. "I will.” He gave Cas’ hand a squeeze. Cas didn’t kiss him, for which he was grateful. Baby steps, where John Winchester was concerned. “I’ll call you,” he said softly.

Cas nodded. “As soon as you can.” With that he gave Dean’s hand a squeeze in return and then let go.

Dean headed over to his father. “Hey, dad.”

John didn’t even say hello, simply repeated “get in the car.” So Dean did. Cas watched them drive away with a feeling of foreboding in his stomach.

It was late enough in November that the sun was setting extremely early, and today was no exception. Already the sky was darkening, though it wasn’t quite five yet. Soon it would be pitch black out.

“Dad--” Dean began, but that was as far as he got, John interrupting.

“No, Dean. Not till we’re home.”

So Dean fell silent. This was going to be worse than he thought.

It didn’t take long to get home; their house wasn’t too far from school. John was silent all the way inside, so Dean did the same, following quietly. He had barely shut the door behind him when John hit him, backhanding him across the face. He fell back against the door, overcome by a huge sensation of déjà vu after what had just happened in the locker room, and he simply stood there against the wall, too stunned to say a word.

“You little _faggot_.” The words were hissed. Dean struggled to push himself up off the door.

“Dad…” He only got another smack for his troubles.

“How long has this been going on? Months? Years?” Dean didn’t respond. “Answer me!”

He wasn’t exactly certain how to answer. But he had been twelve when he kissed Victor. “…..five years.” 

Oh God. He shouldn’t have answered. He had thought _not_ answering would piss his father off but this was worse, he was sure of it.

“Five years?!” John Winchester was seething mad. “And now with _that boy_. You had him over here. God knows what you two were up to under this roof. It makes me sick to think about.”

Dean’s face burned; it’s not like he could deny it. “Dad—“ but he was cut off, John grabbing the front of his shirt and hauling him in close.

“I want you out of this house, do you understand me?” The words were soft but harsh, biting. “I don’t care _where_ you go, just _go_.” And he gave Dean a shove, sending him back against the door again. 

Dean didn’t know what to do, what to say. He _couldn’t_ leave; not without his things, not without _Sammy_. He stepped forward, trying to get past his father, down the hallway to his room, and his father hit him again. “GO!”

With that, Dean turned and fled from the house.

 

**~*~**

 

Sam and Sarah had arrived at the parking lot just in time to see Dean getting in the Impala with John. Sam turned to Cas, worry on his face. Cas’ face looked much the same. “Is he….what did dad say?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. Just to get in the car.”

“……so he saw the game?” _And the kiss?_ was the unspoken question.

A nod. “I think so.”

 _Fuck_. Sam knew his father and he knew that this couldn’t be good. He looked at Sarah. “I need to go home. Do you think your parents can drop me off?”

Thank God, she didn’t look upset that he was breaking their ‘date’, she seemed to understand, and nodded. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Sam looked at Cas, who was staring at the place the Impala had been with the most worried expression on his face. “I think you should stay away for the night,” Sam said softly. “I know it sucks, but I’m positive my dad’s pissed about the whole thing, and seeing you will just make it worse.”

Cas looked sad, but also as if he completely understood. “I know. Dean said he’ll call me later.”

“Okay, good.” Sam hesitated for a moment, then stepped in and gave Cas a hug. Surprised, it took a minute before Cas responded and hugged Sam back. 

“Thanks, Sam.”

Sam was slightly flushed, obviously a bit embarrassed at such a display of affection in front of the girl he had feelings for, but he knew Cas needed it. “I’ll see you later, Cas.” And with that he and Sarah left, off to find her parents.

 

**~*~**

 

Sarah’s parents dropped Sam off in front of the house. “Thank you.” He smiled somewhat shyly at her. “Bye, Sarah.” He practically ran inside, partly from embarrassment, more because he wanted to check on Dean.

The house was silent when he entered. “Dean?” There was no answer. “Dean, where are you?”

“He’s gone.”

Sam looked to the sound of the voice. John Winchester was sitting in the living room, nursing a beer. “I kicked that little faggot out of the house.”

Sam stared, positive he heard incorrectly. “…kicked him out?”

“Yup.”

“….as in kicked him out for good?”

“Yes. I don’t want that homo living under this roof.”

Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew his dad was an asshole but this? This positively took the cake. Then realization hit him. That figure he had seen on the side of the road, walking in the opposite direction from them…..that had been Dean.

Without another moment’s pause, Sam had grabbed the car keys off the kitchen table and was out the door in a flash. He wasn’t even _close_ to old enough to drive the Impala, but he had watched Dean enough times that he knew the basics. He heard his dad shouting as he started the car, but he ignored it, pulling out of the driveway and heading down the road. He had to find his brother.

He found Dean about ten minutes down the road. The older boy was still in his soccer shorts and a t-shirt. He had to be _freezing_. It was only about forty degrees out. Still, he barely seemed to notice the cold, his arms wrapped around his body more to hold himself together than for warmth.

Sam rolled down the window. “Dean!”

The sound of his name surprised Dean and he turned, and Sam blanched. Obviously John had been hitting Dean, for he looked much worse than he had at the field, and his nose was freshly bleeding. One side of his face was all swollen. John had probably been smacking him rather than punching him. Sam felt tears trying to push their way forward but he forced them back. He had to drive.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice was somewhat slurred as he tried to speak around the swelling in his jaw. “What’re you doing?”

“I can ask you the same thing. Where’re you going?”

“Ellen’s.” His voice was wooden, as if he had used up all his tears.

“You can’t walk all the way to Ellen’s. Get in the car.”

Dean paused as if considering it, then headed over, moving to the driver’s side, but Sam shook his head. “Sam, you can’t drive. You’re too young. Move over.”

“You’re in no shape to drive, Dean. I’ve got this. Get in.”

Clearly Dean was too upset and out of it to argue any further. He got in the passenger’s side and sort of curled in upon himself, arms wrapped around his chest. He was too far gone to even wipe his bloody nose. Sam was getting more and more worried by the minute.

Thank God it didn’t take long to reach Ellen’s. Sam turned the car off. Clearly the lights had caught Ellen’s attention and she came outside right as Sam was getting out of the Impala. She was horrified to see Sam behind the wheel. 

“Sam! Why the hell are you…” But then Dean emerged and her attention was totally captured by him, shock overwhelming her. “Dean?! What on earth happened to you?” She took his face gently in her hands, examining him. But it didn’t take long for her to reach a conclusion. Softly, she asked him, “Did John do this?” 

Dean didn’t say anything; her face grew stormy. “I’m gonna _kill_ him.” She pulled off her flannel overshirt and dabbed at Dean’s bloody nose. “Let’s get you boys inside.”

An arm around Dean’s waist, Ellen guided him into the house, getting him seated in a comfortable chair. “Hey.” She leaned down to his level, her voice quiet and smooth, reassuring, as she spoke to him. “I’m going to take some pictures of you, okay?”

“Why?” Dean’s voice, now that he was speaking, was shaking, his teeth chattering with leftover adrenaline and fear.

“To document what your father did to you. We may need the evidence later.”

Dean managed a nod. Ellen pulled out a camera from a nearby cabinet and set to it, taking photos of Dean’s face from various angles. He stopped her, pointing to one spot. “It was mainly this. The boys at school did the rest.”

She looked surprised. “At school?”

“They found out today that I’ve got a boyfriend. Well….I guess I told them. Showed them.” Dean laughed, but there was no humor in it; it was hollow, empty. “They didn’t take it well. S’why dad’s so mad, too.” He braced himself for any anger or disapproval Ellen might throw his way, but she said nothing, simply nodded acceptingly.

“People can be complete assholes sometimes. Your father is one of the biggest.”

Sam couldn’t help a laugh, no matter how hard he tried to stifle it, and Dean had to smile, though it hurt with his jaw swollen. “Got that right.”

Finished now, Ellen set aside the camera. “You boys are staying here tonight.” Sam nodded. Ellen looked at them both. “Is there anything you need from home?”

“Scarf,” Dean managed. He was beginning to shake now as well as the teeth chattering. The day was catching up to him and he didn’t know how much more he could handle. Ellen looked questioningly at Sam.

“Our mom’s scarf. Its blue striped, should be hanging up in his room.”

“Okay.” Ellen turned to go, but Sam stopped her.

“Ellen?” She paused, looking to him. “Can I call Cas over?”

Ellen glanced at Dean. He was zoned out again, lost in some other world. “Is that…” the question trailed off, and Sam’s nod was the only answer. But Ellen didn’t need to hear more, simply nodded. “Of course. You better call him right away. And get Dean to bed.”

“I will. Oh, and Ellen?”

Ellen paused halfway out the door. “Yeah?”

“By his bed he’s got a record player and some records. If you could grab the Beatles _‘Revolution’_ album, that would be great. It would really help.”

Her brows had gone up but she didn’t question it, merely shrugged. “No problem.” And with that, she left.

Dean looked completely lost; clearly none of that last exchange had registered. Sam took his phone. “Hey,” he said, voice soft. “Why don’t you go take a shower? I’m gonna call Cas and he’s going to come over, okay? So by the time you’re cleaned up, he’ll be here waiting for you. Sound good?”

Dean nodded. “Yea.” A shower sounded nice.

“Okay. Go shower.”

Dean nodded again, still lost. Sam gently guided him down the hallway towards the bathroom. “Don’t worry. Cas will be here soon.”

Sam watched Dean head into the bathroom, shaking fingers trailing along the wall as if to support himself. He just wanted to cry, seeing his big brother that way. Dean was always so strong. Sam flipped through Dean’s phone until he found Castiel’s number. Cas answered halfway through the first ring. “Hello?” He sounded ridiculously worried.  


“Cas, you need to come over right away.”

 

**~*~**

 

It took Cas less than ten minutes to get to the Harvelles', despite the fact that he’d never been there. He must have sped like mad. Sam let him in right away, answering the frenzied knocking, and Cas pushed past him, a frantic look in his eyes. 

“Where is he?”

“He was showering….” Come to think of it, Dean hadn’t come out of the bathroom. Cas pushed past Sam and down the hallway, looking around until he heard the shower, knocking on the door.

“Dean?” There was no answer. “Dean, I’m coming in.” He pushed the door open. The room was filled with steam. “….Dean?” He gently pushed aside the curtain. Dean was sitting on the floor of the tub, knees pulled to his chest, shaking. “Dean!” Cas didn’t even take a moment to strip; he climbed into the shower fully clothed, crouching before Dean. Those beautiful eyes wouldn’t look up at him. One of them almost couldn’t open….it was practically swollen shut. Dean’s lip was cut, bruises forming all over his face. Cas cupped Dean’s face as carefully as possible, gently tilting it up so he could look Dean in the eye. “Oh, _baby_.” His voice was so soft. “What did he do to you.”

Dean’s eyes welled up with tears; Cas’ heart felt as if it were breaking. “Oh, God, Dean.” He reached behind him, fumbling for the faucet, turning off the shower. He needed to get Dean out of there and dry him off. “C’mon, baby. Let’s get you to bed.”

Dean was still shaking like crazy. Cas helped Dean from the tub as carefully as possible. But as soon as he did so, Dean seemed to awake from whatever daze he was in and then he was on Cas, throwing his arms around him and clinging as if his life depended on it.

Cas automatically wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close. “Shhh,” he hushed soothingly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Sorry,” Dean whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Cas couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Why on earth are you sorry? Dean….” He struggled to pull away, made difficult because Dean didn’t want to let him go, but he finally made it far enough to look Dean in the eye. “Nothing about this is your fault. You didn’t deserve to have your father treat you this way, and you KNOW that.” Cas _knew_ that Dean knew that. Dean had stated before that his father was an asshole, that he treated both Dean and Sam like shit. Cas wasn’t sure what was different this time, what had Dean apologizing as if this were his fault.

But Dean shook his head. “No, not….not that. You….” He wouldn’t look at Cas. “This was supposed to be so good, telling everyone, such a good thing, and I ruined it. Went and got myself beat up.” A hollow laugh. “Twice.”

Cas’ heart ached; he shook his head. “No, Dean. That’s not your fault at all.” He wrapped a towel around Dean’s shoulders. “And yes, it’s horrible what happened to you. But that doesn’t change the fact that people know that I love you. I’m still happy about that.”

At those words, Cas actually thought he could see the slightest hint of a smile play around the corners of Dean’s lips. “Yea?”

Cas nodded, stroking Dean’s hair. “Yeah. I love you, Dean. So much.”

Dean cupped Cas’ face. “I love you too.”

Cas wanted to give Dean a kiss but he wasn’t sure how to do it without hurting him. “C’mon. Let’s go get you into something warm.” He led Dean from the room and then Dean took charge, guiding Cas to the living room. He had no idea where they’d be sleeping that night, so for now the couch would have to do.

Dean didn’t have any clothes on him. Luckily Cas had thought to pack a bag. He helped Dean into a pair of his pajamas. The pants should have been a little short on Dean, who was slightly taller than Cas, but Cas liked his clothes big, so they fit just fine. Once they were both changed, Cas sat on the couch and encouraged Dean to lie down. Dean curled up with his head in Cas’ lap, letting Cas run his fingers through Dean’s damp hair.

There was a sudden commotion as the front door opened, and Dean jumped. Cas gently hushed him soothingly, reassuringly, and he settled, though he did sit up. Ellen came in, her arms full. “You must be Cas.”

Cas jumped to his feet to help her with her armful. “Yes, ma’am.”

She arched a brow at the formality, but said nothing of it. “Well, any friend of Dean’s is a friend of ours. That includes boyfriends.”

Cas smiled at her. “Well, hopefully that’s ‘boyfriend’ singular. Don’t want more than one of those.” He looked at Dean as he spoke, and Dean snorted at the comment. Cas’ smile grew to see Dean laugh, if only somewhat. Ellen looked surprised but relieved to hear Dean laugh, and she looked approvingly at Cas for eliciting the sound.

“I’ll make up the couch for you boys downstairs.” She gestured for them to follow her. Cas looked at the items he had in his arms. A bag which he assumed held some of Dean’s clothes, a framed photo of Dean with his mother, and the _‘Revolution’_ album. He smiled. That would help.

When he and Dean reached the bottom of the stairs, Ellen was folding out a couch-bed. Cas immediately set down his armful and moved to help her make the bed. She really was giving him the most positive look. Clearly she approved of Dean’s choice in boys.

It didn’t take long to make the bed. “Well, then. I’ll leave you boys alone.” She paused beside the nightstand. “The turntable is here.” Cas saw the way Dean perked up at that, curiosity on his face. Clearly he hadn’t noticed the record. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.” She moved to Dean, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Feel better,” she said softly, and then headed upstairs.

They watched her go, then Dean turned to Cas. “Turntable?”

Cas moved to where he had put the items down and held up _‘Revolution’_. Dean’s whole face lit up. Cas smiled. He knew that Mary Winchester had sang _‘Hey Jude’_ to Dean when he was was a child, and when he was upset…..maybe now he could do the same.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said softly.

Dean nodded and crawled into bed. Cas moved to the turntable and put the record on, setting the needle in place, then shut off the lights on his way to bed. The first notes of _‘Hey Jude’_ began as he slipped in bed beside Dean. Dean immediately snuggled into his usual position beside Cas, head on Cas’ chest, arms wrapped around him.

Cas stroked Dean’s back, his hair. Dean was still shaking. After a moment, Cas picked up the song. “Remember, to let her into your heart…” he sang hesitantly. He heard a sharp intake of breath and he paused, unsure if this was okay, if Dean wanted him to continue. Then Dean’s arms tightened around his waist, reassuring, pleading, and Cas began again.

“Hey Jude….don’t make it bad….”

Dean pressed a kiss to his chin, to his cheek, the shakes slowly but surely easing from his body as Cas held him in that dark room, singing all the tears away until Dean fell into a deep sleep. 

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY. I know I promised a minimum amount of angst and then I wallop you with this. I continue to promise that this story WILL have a happy ending, despite this heaping pile of angst. Obviously there will be a decent amount more, as the fallout from all that just happened, but the boys are surrounded by too many good people for them to not make it through. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed it anyway, despite all that I just put you through! *cowers*


	28. A Shock to the System

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're finding out that  
> falling down can feel strange  
> No one remembers your name  
> You're losing the game  
> That's the thing about trust  
> It's always the same sad story again  
> You lose all your friends  
> That's the thing about trust  
> ~'Trust', Neon Trees

The day after he’d fought with Gordon, Dean had had no idea what to expect coming into school. The morning after the game, he knew EXACTLY what to expect. He hadn’t been certain until after the kiss at the game, but it had been fairly easy to gauge by the reactions of the crowd what sort of reception his and Cas’ relationship was going to get here at school. 

He couldn’t be _certain_. Everyone had seemed shocked, it’s true, but no one had booed, or yelled slurs….no one other than his teammates and his dad. Shock was different than disapproval. Still, he was fairly positive that they were gonna get it pretty damn bad this morning.

It had been nice to wake up with Cas beside him. He had opened his eyes (one with difficulty….it really was almost swollen shut) to find Cas watching him, worry and love on his face. “Mornin’, Cas.” He mumbled the words.

Cas smiled, gently stroking his cheek. “Hey, beautiful.”

Dean snorted. “You _tryin’_ to make me laugh?”

Cas poked him softly, the barest touch of a fingertip, not wanting to hurt. “Yes. And it worked. So there.” Dean laughed again. “And you’re still beautiful.” Cas’ voice was soft. “You always will be.”

Dean batted Cas’ hand away. “Shut up. Sap.”

It was Cas’ turn to laugh. “Fine. I will. For now. Now come on.” He kissed Dean’s forehead. “Gotta get up. School.”

They elected to drive together to school, the three of them. After much persuading, Sam and Cas managed to convince Dean that he should NOT drive in his condition, so Cas drove them to school, Dean grumbling the whole way about “damn shitty Prius” and Cas trying not to smile.

When they parked, Dean just stared at the building, not wanting to move. But he knew that he couldn’t delay the inevitable, and that dragging his feet would just make things worse. He had to behave perfectly normally, act as he did every single day. He couldn’t let anyone know they were getting to him. That’s why he had his scarf on still. He knew everyone would make fun of him now, point at it and say that it was never hipster, that he was just a fag, but he didn’t care. It was still his mom’s and he wasn’t going to abandon it just because of something some asshole kids thought. He was who he was and everyone else could go fuck themselves.

Cas gave his hand a squeeze and Dean looked at him, at the reassuring smile. He smiled back. “Ready for this?”

“Not really,” Cas confessed, which startled a laugh out of Dean. He had thought he was the only one freaking out. Now he felt a wave of guilt. It was stupid to think that just because he was the one who got his ass kicked, he was the only one panicking. Of course Cas was nervous too. 

“C’mere.” Dean pulled Cas close, hugging him tight. “It’s gonna be alright.” He could feel Cas squeezing him tightly back.

“I know.”

Dean kissed Cas on the forehead and released him. “Okay?”

Cas smiled. “Let’s go.”

Every eye was on them as they walked up the front steps, entering the building. The halls weren’t very crowded because they had arrived rather late and class was about to start, but they still had everyone’s attention. Apparently news had travelled fast, because there was no way all of these people had been at the game.

“Mr. Novak!”

The two stopped dead, turning to see Principal Moseley walking towards them. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Could I have a word?”

Cas looked from her, to Dean, then back again. “…..now?”

“Now, Mr. Novak.”

“…..but…” It was clear that Cas didn’t want to leave Dean. 

“I’m certain Mr. Winchester can survive without you for five minutes.”

 _Don’t be so sure_ , Dean thought. He waved forlornly to Cas as the boy followed Principal Moseley down the hall, disappearing into her office. Shit. He was going to be late. He’d better get going himself.

The bell rang exactly as Dean entered the classroom, and the silence when it ended was deafening. Everyone was staring at him…. _everyone_. Even Mrs. Harrison. She was looking between him and her other students, and by the thinly veiled look in her eyes, he would wager she had heard about the game. Fuck. Was she AT the game? He had been too busy hurting and bleeding to notice which teachers had accompanied Principal Moseley onto the field. Or maybe the principal had told the other teachers to keep them informed as to why the school environment might (just _might_ ) be different on this particular day.

“Hello, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean stirred from his thoughts. Mrs. Harrison was smiling at him, her usual smile. He nodded at her, managing a smile of his own. “Morning.” He headed past the rest of the desks, fighting the urge to avert his eyes, trying to behave as he would every day, the confident swagger he normally employed. Then someone hissed “ _faggot_ ” and his step faltered.

“GORDON WALKER!” Mrs. Harrison’s voice was furious. Dean didn’t look at Gordon, or the corner of the room where the others of the group always sat, he _refused_ , simply slipped into his seat. He pulled out a folded paper: his chosen poem for the day. It would be nerve-wracking to get up in front of everyone else and read, especially looking like he did, feeling all eyes on him, but if he was striving for normalcy, this was one way to do it. Dean always read in class.

Sure enough, Mrs. Harrison called his name. “Mr. Winchester? Would you care to read?” There was a slight hint of timidity to her voice that wasn’t normally there, as if she were uncertain whether calling on him were the right thing to do under the circumstances.

He nodded, rising from his seat and moving to the front of the room, unfolding the paper he’d written his poem on. He had chosen it specifically for today, knowing this was the day he and Cas would be revealing their relationship. Now things had changed….but not enough that he wouldn’t read his poem for Cas: e.e. cummings’ “ _I Carry Your Heart With Me_ ”. His heart beating so quickly he felt he would pass out, Dean opened his mouth and began to read.

“I carry your heart with me(i carry it in  
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere  
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing—“

Another yell interrupted him, someone calling out “homo!” 

“Gordon Walker, you walk your ass to the principal's office right this minute!”

Dean stood frozen as Gordon walked past him, unable to look up from his paper, his ears burning. Abruptly, he switched to a different poem, hands shaking and his gaze still fixed to the paper as he recited the new poem from memory. 

“Whenever Richard Cory went down town,  
We people on the pavement looked at him:  
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,  
Clean favored, and imperially slim.”

 

He heard Mrs. Harrison’s breath catch at the change of poem, as she recognized _‘Richard Cory’_ by Edwin Arlington Robinson. He could tell she was familiar with it and wondered if she knew why he had chosen it.

 

“And he was always quietly arrayed,  
And he was always human when he talked;  
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,  
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—  
And admirably schooled in every grace:  
In fine, we thought that he was everything  
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,  
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;  
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,  
Went home and put a bullet through his head.”

 

The room was dead silent; everyone was staring at Dean with wide, shocked eyes. He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw Cas standing in the open door, his eyes huge and full of pain. Dean’s eyes filled with tears to see him. Cas crossed the space between them in no more than three strides, pulling Dean into his arms. There was some muttering at that and it was hard to tell whether it was bad or good, but neither of them cared. Dean could feel tears burning hot trails down his face.

“Okay, class is over early. Everyone go to study hall, right now.”

THAT got more of a reaction, a combination of happiness at getting out of class early and a vague disappointment at missing whatever show was about to begin. But Mrs. Harrison was not a woman you fucked with, and the students all filed out of the room one by one.

Mrs. Harrison tapped Cas on the shoulder. “You too, Mr. Novak.”

Cas looked shocked. “What? No! No, I’m not leaving Dean!”

“It won’t be for long, I promise. Just wait outside the door.”

Cas looked to Dean, who nodded, silently assuring him it was okay. Cas still wasn’t happy about it, but he did as he was told and headed into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

Dean looked to Mrs. Harrison. Her face was nearly impossible to read. She pulled out a chair for herself, then one for him, and gestured. “Sit.” He complied, filled with a vague feeling of foreboding.

He stared at the floor, scuffing it with the toe of his shoe. “I’m guessing you know what happened yesterday.”

“Yes.” She was silent for a moment, waiting to see if he would speak again, but he didn’t. “Dean….should I be worried?”

He looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “Worried?”

“About you. That poem….. _'Richard Cory'_ ….” He still didn’t look as if he understood, so she pressed on. “Dean, are you suicidal?”

Dean was surprised, but he supposed he shouldn’t be. That poem certainly did make a statement. “No. No, I’m not.” He shrugged uncomfortably. “I think I might be by this point if...." he looked outside the door to where Cas was pacing, pausing now and then to stare anxiously in at Dean, and he couldn’t help a small smile. "If I didn't have Cas.” He shook his head. “All the years of traveling, never staying anywhere long enough to have any real friends, never being able to give Sammy CLOSE to enough, and now _finally_ being faced with the plain truth of knowing for certain that my father doesn't love me....” He fell silent, the words a heavy weight in the stillness of the room. He had been strong for so many years because he'd HAD to be strong, for Sammy, and yes, even for his father. But this? This probably would have been what finally broke him, were it not for Cas there to hold him together. Finally he spoke up. “….but it’s worth it. It’s all worth it, all the struggling, the pain….so long as I have Cas." He smiled at Cas, who smiled back, clearly relieved to see that look on Dean’s face. “He makes me strong.” 

Dean knew that Mrs. Harrison wasn’t really familiar with his whole story, just vague pieces from papers he had written in class, but he assumed she got the gist of what he’d just said. In any case, she would understand that Cas helped him through his pain, and in the end, that was all that mattered. “Besides….” There was a reason he’d chosen that poem. 

“All those kids who called me 'fag' and 'queer' yesterday and today.....I wanted them to hear it. Hear about this guy blowing his brains out. Because so many kids kill themselves because they've been treated the exact same way these assholes are treating me.” Again he scuffed at the floor with his shoe, but this time in frustration. “So if I can help change that at all.....if I can make even _one person_ realize what a bastard they're being, and the repercussions it can have.." He nodded. “Then it’s worth it. Worth all the insults. Worth the beatings I took yesterday. Worth _all_ of it.”

Mrs. Harrison was watching him, her face still that unreadable mask, but there was something in her eyes…... “You’re a truly amazing person, Dean.”

His head snapped up to look at her. She had used his first name. Actually, now that he thought about it, she had used it a moment ago as well. She NEVER used his first name. He flushed all the way to his ears, his eyes averting back to his lap. “Not really,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know many people your age who would think like that, behave like that.” Hand beneath his chin, she tilted his face up and he looked at her. She gave him a smile. “Do your best to keep your chin up. I know it’ll be a hard go of it for a while. Things like this are never easy. But if you need anyone to talk to…..you OR Castiel…..you can always come to me.”

Dean could feel his eyes filling with tears of gratitude; he smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.”

Mrs. Harrison gave a nod to the door. “You can let Castiel back in. If you two would like, you can stay here until the period ends, rather than joining the others in study hall.”

A wave of relief swept over Dean. “Thank you. That would be wonderful.” He ran to the door and opened it for Cas, who immediately pulled Dean into his arms.

“Are you okay?”

Dean chuckled. “That depends on your definition of ‘okay.” He felt Cas tense. “Hey.” He pulled away enough to look Cas in the eye. “Yea. I’m okay.”

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek, clearly still worried but feeling better hearing Dean say those words. “Okay. Good.”

“Mrs. Harrison says we can stay here till class is over.” Cas looked as happy at the news as Dean was; the two made their way over to sit down. “So,” Dean took Cas’ hand. “Why were you late? What did Moseley want to talk to you about?”

“Oh.” Cas looked abashed. “My temper.”

Dean was completely taken aback. “YOUR temper?”

Cas nodded, blushing. “I may have a….uh….bit of a reputation.”

Well THIS was news. “Do tell.”

Cas was rosy-cheeked; he averted his gaze. “The teachers know that when I’m _really_ mad, I sit and stew and get angrier and angrier until I snap. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s REALLY bad. So yeah…..she wanted to take me aside and talk to me to try and head things off. I guess they feel a bunch of guys beating up my boyfriend is enough of a reason for me to go Rambo on everyone.”

Dean burst into laughter. “Oh my God.”

Cas cocked his head. “What?” Dean didn’t answer, _couldn’t_ answer, he was laughing too hard. Cas glared. “It isn’t THAT funny!”

“It so totally is!” Dean was gasping. “I mean, I’ve seen you angry before, in small bursts, and yea, it’s scary, but to think of you having a reputation? Oh my God I can’t handle it.”

“Shut up!” Cas smacked Dean’s arm, aiming for a spot that was unbruised.

“No. What did you _do?_ ”

Cas bit his lip. “…..I may have….snapped…..at some guys who destroyed the art show.”

Dean stared, mouth agape. “…..you beat people up for trashing art?”

“Well, no,” Cas was defensive. “It STARTED with them trashing art. They kept making fun of stuff, then making fun of the artists, then they destroyed some art, then they destroyed art while the artists were AROUND, so one of the kids told them to stop and they started shoving _him_ around. What was I supposed to do? Just let them harass him?”

Dean felt his heart flutter, even as amusement filled him; he grinned. “Aww….you were the tiny art kid’s white knight!”

“Oh my God shut up!”

“No! It’s _adorable!_ ”

Cas was pouting. “I hate you.”

“You love me.” Dean just grinned back at him.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period, and Dean’s grin vanished. “Hey.” Cas’ voice was soft. Dean looked at him, a hint of fear in his eyes. “It’ll be okay.”

Dean nodded. “I know.” They rose, looking to Mrs. Harrison. “Thank you for letting us stay.”

She smiled. “Anytime, boys.”

They headed to the door, hand in hand and, taking a deep breath, headed out into the hallway towards Dean’s math class. Everyone was staring. _Everyone_.

“Feeling weird yet?” Dean asked. Cas huffed a laugh.

“Just a bit.”

“Try doing all of it while looking like the Elephant Man.”

“Hey!” Cas gave Dean a little push up against the wall outside Alastair’s room. “You do NOT look like the Elephant Man.” He smiled. “Nice reference, though.”

Dean smiled. “I aim to please.”

“Oh, you do. In many, MANY ways.” Cas glanced around them, then looked back to Dean. “….can I kiss you?” His voice was hopeful.

Dean smiled, so happy that Cas was asking, that he wanted to do that here in public. “Of course you can, dorkface.”

Cas looked so ridiculously happy; he cupped Dean’s face, kissing him gently. Immediately everyone around them began muttering, but neither boy cared. They were smiling when they separated.

“I’ll see you at lunch?” Cas murmured.

Dean nodded. “At lunch.”

 

**~*~**

 

Charlie had looked so sad when she had seen Dean’s face, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. They hadn’t paid much attention in class, simply whispered together. And gym….gym was _extremely_ difficult. Most of Dean’s beating had been on his face, but in the locker room he had been punched in the stomach several times, and he was a bit sore. Running laps and playing volleyball was NOT fun. At least he had Benny there with him. Still, he was relieved when it was all over and he could head to the locker room. And soon he could see Cas.

Benny took off that hat, still so ridiculous with his gym clothes, and set it on one of the benches. "You gonna shower?"

Dean looked to where the other boys were beginning to get undressed. Many were casting discreet glances in his direction. He knew that a lot of them were good guys and wouldn't have a problem with him showering with them, wouldn't think the fag was checking them out. But there were some who would. There were also a couple boys who were friends of the guys who had attacked Dean in the locker room. He would wager they weren't happy about their friends' suspension.

Looking away, he shook his head. "I don't think so."

Benny's face said that he knew all too clearly what Dean was thinking. Then he glanced to their left. "How bout those?" Dean looked, seeing the three separate shower stalls that were cordoned off with curtains of their own. No one ever used them. He didn't know why. Maybe they were broken. He had never really given them much thought before. 

"That might work." He headed over to the showers and tried turning them on. He was relieved to find that there was water. It was freezing cold, no hot water, but he couldn’t care less. If he could shower hidden from the other boys, he could deal with cold water.

Suddenly there was a tug on the curtain, as if someone was trying to pull it open, and Dean jumped, but the movement was aborted and replaced by the sound of a scuffle. Pulling back the curtain just enough to look out, Dean saw Benny standing there, facing off against Jack, a friend of one of the suspended soccer players, and clearly the one who had just attempted to get to Dean. He wasn't making any moves now, though, obviously put off by the expression on Benny's face. Those blue eyes were narrowed, jaw clenched, face stony. Jack glanced at Dean, a sour look on his face, and walked away.

Dean shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist, stepping out. "What the hell was _that?_ "

Benny shrugged, totally calm. "Just some asshole wanting to pick a fight."

Dean gave Benny a once-over. He was still in his gym uniform; it was clear he hadn't showered, had no plans to shower, and Dean had a pretty good idea why. "....Benny.....you don't need to watch out for me."

Benny turned away from the mirror to face Dean. "Dean, those jerks aren't just gonna leave you alone."

"I know that. But I don't want this. Don't want you dropping everything to take care of me." 

"Dean." Benny looked as if he didn't know how to phrase his words. "You're one of the best guys I know, and definitely the fiercest, most loyal friend I've ever met. So yeah. I'm gonna take care of you until these dickheads stop harassing you. And if that means I give up a few showers?" He shrugged, smiling. "Well, you'll just have to deal with my stink."

Dean couldn't help it, he laughed, shaking his head. "You're impossible." Benny was just too good.

"Likewise."

“Oh believe me, I know. Sammy and Cas tell me so on a daily basis.”

Benny laughed. “I’m not surprised.”

Dean attempted (quite awkwardly) to get dressed without dropping his towel. It wasn’t working so well. Benny was still standing guard, glaring at anyone who looked their way too long. “Hey, Benny….I had an idea.” He managed to wriggle into his pants and let the towel fall to the floor.

“Yeah?”

“If you’re not gonna shower, why don’t you use some wet paper towels to wipe down? That’ll at least clean you up SOMEWHAT.”

“Oh, that’s a good plan.” Benny set to it, barely managing to finish up before the bell rang.

Cas was waiting for them when they got out of class. He actually looked in good condition, as if he hadn’t been having a hard day at all. Dean gave him a huge hug and a kiss. “You look good.”

“I’m doing okay.”

“Yea? No one’s been giving you any trouble?”

Cas shook his head. “Not really. I think it’s cuz you were a jock while I’m one of the art kids. I mean I hate to follow stereotypes but so far no one has really been bothering me. Kinda like ‘oh, well naturally HE’S gay’, you know?”

Despite the frustration of being pigeonholed himself, Dean couldn’t help but be amused about Cas. “You big gay artist, you.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“No.” Dean was grinning; he paused. “And what about your other classes?”

Cas shrugged. “Same as English, really. Lot of muttering and whispering, but no real outward harassment.”

Dean didn’t know what to make of that. HE had been outwardly harassed. But then again, it had been Gordon, who hated him. So that made sense.

When they entered the cafeteria, a hush descended over the room. Dean had expected nothing less. Cas rolled his eyes, giving Dean’s hand a squeeze. “C’mon.”

Dean smiled and tugged Cas into him, giving him a quick kiss. Cas looked at him, surprised, but smiled. “ _Well_ , then.” He put on a scandalized tone. Dean just laughed.

“Oh, shut up, you loved it.”

“I did.” And, squeezing Dean’s hand again, Cas led him into the cafeteria. Everyone had obviously noticed the kiss, and there were clearly mixed feelings on it. It didn’t matter; Dean and Cas ignored all the attention. There was obviously no way they were sitting at their old table. Cas was still determined to have it out with Meg, and Dean was determined to keep him away from her, especially now that he had heard stories of that temper. They found an empty table and sat, the two of them, Charlie, Benny, and Ash.

“Here.” Cas rose. “Give me a minute.”

Dean looked up, confused. “Where’re you going?”

“I’ll just be a minute.” And he headed towards the back corner where their old table was.

The hipster group was not pleased when they saw him coming. Michael just looked uncomfortable, but Ruby and Meg were definitely not happy, nor Lucas and Gordon, who still had that obnoxious smile on his face from English class. Bela was the only one who didn’t look upset in any way.

“You’re not welcome here,” Lucas said, before Cas could speak up.

“Believe me, I don’t want to be. I simply came to tell Bela that if she would care to join us, she’s MORE than welcome. The rest of you can go fuck yourselves.” With that he turned on his heel and left, leaving them all staring after him, mouths agape.

Dean looked concerned when Cas slipped into his chair. “You didn’t fight with Meg, did you?”

Cas shook his head. “No. I was just inviting Bela to join us.”

“And she very much appreciates that.” They all looked up at the sound of that cultured voice, and there she was, Bela, holding her lunch and smiling down at them.

“Hey!” Dean couldn’t believe she had come over here, given up her friends she had known for God knows how many years in order to eat with them. For he was pretty certain that sitting with them now meant she was out of favor with the hipster crowd for good. “Thanks, Bela,” he said softly. She smiled at him.

“It’s nothing, Dean. Believe me, I’d much rather be with you than those….”

“Assholes?” Cas supplied. Bela laughed.

“I suppose that’s quite fitting. Yes. I’d pick all of you over them any day.”

The words warmed Dean to his very core. He looked around the table at his friends: Charlie and Ash deep in conversation about coding, Benny now talking with Bela, and Cas, Cas who was watching Dean with those beautiful blue eyes. And Dean smiled. He’d never really had friends, and even if he had, he was positive that they could never have been as amazing as these ones.

“What is it?” Cas asked, smiling to see the look on Dean’s face. Dean shook his head.

“Nothing. I just….I love all of you so much.”

Cas chuckled. “We all love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

Soccer practice began immediately after school. Dean was positive he knew what was going to happen there, but he had to go anyway. He had to face the team, had to face Adler. Luckily, he had Garth by his side. The skinny boy’s presence was incredibly reassuring as they headed onto the field and towards that crowd of mostly hostile stares. He couldn’t believe that these boys, boys he had played with for over a month now, would all show such hatred to him now, just because he liked guys. He spotted one or two faces that looked uncertain, as though they wanted to smile but were afraid of what would happen if they did. He did nothing, simply looked at Adler, waiting for him to speak.

“You can’t honestly think you’re here to practice.” Adler’s voice was absolutely disgusted.

“No, I don’t think that,” Dean answered. “I can tell a bigoted asshole when I see one.”

Adler’s hackles rose at the comment. “It’s not bigoted to hate a little faggot like you. You know you got five of my players suspended with your little stunt yesterday?”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh at that. “ _I_ got? _They_ attacked _me_ , you idiot.”

Adler ignored that comment, barreling on. “Well, the joke’s on you. There was a college scout there yesterday. From _UCLA_.” He put great stress on the name. Dean felt pain shoot through his gut. UCLA was an amazing school for soccer. Adler seemed to sense Dean was upset for his smirk grew. “Yeah. Good luck getting chosen for a college team now after your little exhibition, faggot.” 

It hurt. It really did hurt. But Dean shook it off. Cas was much more important. He smiled, and Adler was clearly surprised to see it. “So what. If they have a problem with what I did, I don’t need their crummy little team.” He turned to Garth, patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later, man.”

But Garth just shook his head. “No.” He turned to Adler. “I quit.”

Dean’s eyes widened, shocked. “Garth, no!”

But all Garth did was take Dean by the arm, ignoring Adler as he yelled after them “don’t be stupid, Fitzgerald!”

Dean finally managed to pull away from Garth once they reached the parking lot, yanking free. "Garth, you can't do this! I won't let you!"

" _Let_ me?" Garth echoed, amused. "Dean, no offense, but you're not gonna 'let me' do anything. I'm going to do what I want. And what I _don’t_ want is to play on a team with a bigoted asshole who won't allow for love between people of the same gender. No way."

Dean felt the tears welling up; he pulled Garth into a tight hug.

" _Wow_ ," Garth laughed, his voice muffled. "....a voluntary hug from Dean Winchester?"

Dean laughed but the noise was watery, thick with tears he refused to shed. He released Garth, clapping him on the shoulder as he attempted to regain some semblance of control.

“Well,” he managed, scrubbing a hand across his face. “What now.”

Garth shrugged his slim shoulders. “I don’t know.” He paused, considering, and a smile crossed his face. “How bout we reschedule yesterday’s party?”

Dean couldn’t help it; he laughed. “That sounds absolutely _perfect_.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much less angst, neh? Hope this makes up for the last chapter. Everything isn't fully sorted and there is still more angst on the horizon, but I hope this at least helps for now!^^
> 
> Thanks so much all who reviewed, despite the angst I piled on you! Much love! <3
> 
> And if you're not familiar with e.e cummings, you should check out his work. That actually IS how he formats his poems. No capitalization and really random punctuation.


	29. If You Only Knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You play me like I am made of strings  
> I'm the violin,  
> A melody I want your lips to sing.  
> I lose control when I hear your body move  
> And I'm dying to break through to the next room  
> Tell me "my world revolves around you"  
> Tell me "boy I can't live without you"  
> Tell me "you're losing sleep tonight"  
> Cuz I'll tell you straight  
> I'll never wait  
> You stole my heart.  
> ~'In the Next Room', Neon Trees

Cas was waiting for Dean when he and Garth reached the parking lot. “What happened with Adler?” His blue eyes were filled with concern.

Dean’s eyes were still a bit watery; he shrugged. “Bout what I expected. Kicked off the team.”

Cas’ face fell. “Oh, baby.” 

Well, he may as well know the whole thing. “Not just that….there was a UCLA scout at the game.”

Cas’ eyes went huge. “Oh my God. That….” That had been a school they had both discussed applying to, Cas for its art program and Dean for its soccer. 

“Sucks. I know.”

“…..Dean…” Cas looked as if he couldn’t believe how calm Dean was. “That MORE than sucks.” He shook his head, muttering to himself “I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn’t have done that." 

Dean felt an overwhelming sense of amusement. "You didn't, Cas. I did." It would figure Cas would blame himself for an action Dean had taken.

"But now you won't get your scholarship." Clearly Cas was overwrought. 

"Cas." Dean took Cas' face in his hands, halting that train of thought, the panicking. "You are worth more to me than _one hundred_ scholarships." 

That relaxed Cas and he smiled, moving to cup Dean’s face in return. “I’m so glad you feel that way.”

“Cas….I would NEVER regret kissing you.”

Cas shook his head. “I never would, either. I just regret what it did to you. What you lost.”

Dean smiled. “Gained far more.”

Cas just shook his head once more, a smile on his face. “Sap.”

Dean chuckled. “You know it. Now, come on. We’ve rescheduled the party. It’s happening right now.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yup.” Dean glanced over his shoulder to where the rest of their friends were gathered on the steps, talking. “….think we should tell the others?”

Cas laughed. “Probably.”

Grinning, Dean took Cas’ hand, linking their fingers. “Well then, let’s go.”

 

**~*~**

 

The “party” had been incredibly fun. Dean no longer had a place of his own to host everyone, but Bela had volunteered. Cas had highly doubted that having a group of people over would disturb his father while writing (it was unlikely that an atomic _bomb_ would disturb Chuck while writing) but they figured it would be better to go somewhere where there was no one to disturb in the first place. So Bela’s house it was. Things were pretty low-key….they had to be, with Dean in the shape he was in….but that wasn’t much different than how it was certain days after soccer practice. So they tore into some potato chips and popcorn, broke out the soda, and relaxed in Bela’s posh living room. They couldn’t go to the arcade so Charlie brought the arcade to them, making a stop by her house to pick up one of her gaming systems and a couple games, choosing ones that Dean could play sitting down, unlike Dance Dance Revolution. And as it got later, they put on _‘This is Spinal Tap’_. Dean was initially surprised Bela owned it—she was just so classy and it had such dirty humor in it. But her movie collection in general had surprised him. 

“You know, the two of you should talk movies sometime,” Cas had said, leaning over Dean to look at the films, chin resting on his shoulder. Dean had smiled.

“Our collections _are_ similar in size.”

They had floated around the idea of making a drinking game out of it….whenever a character does such and such action, take a shot, that sort of thing….but Dean didn’t feel right about drinking while he was under Ellen’s roof. He still wasn’t sure where he stood in this whole situation. Was he going to have to go back to his dad? Not if Ellen had her way, that was for certain, but where else would he go?

So they had decided to postpone the drinking game to another night and simply watched the movie on its own. It was funny enough without liquor, anyway.

 

**~*~**

 

The next morning was Saturday and for some reason, Dean woke up unnecessarily early and ridiculously sore. He would have thought things would be improving, but it was as if the pain had had a day to set in and now it was going to start hurting for real. 

Cas was still sleeping beside him. Dean couldn’t believe Ellen had let him stay over a second night. He seriously loved that woman. But now Cas stirred as he felt Dean shift. “Mm?”

Dean had to smile at Cas’ sleepy noises. “Go back to bed,” he said softly. But Cas was already far too aware of the situation, of Dean, and he refused, forcing his eyes open.

“Hey.” He blinked, those blue eyes so sleepy. “How’re you doing?”

Dean wanted to lie but he wouldn’t; never to Cas. “Achey.”

He could see the pain in Cas’ face. “I’m sorry, baby.” Cas pushed himself up to sit beside Dean. “I wish I could fix it.”

Dean took Cas’ hand, kissing it. “I know you do.”

There came a knocking sound from the stairs; Ellen was rapping her knuckles on the railing. “Everyone decent? They’d better be, unless they’re getting changed. No funny business in my basement.”

Dean couldn’t help a snort of laughter. “No funny business, we promise.”

“Good.” Ellen entered the room, looking at the boys. “And we’re both sleeping well?”

They nodded, Dean speaking up “yes, thank you Ellen, seriously,” but she held up a hand, silencing him before he could go off on a tangent.

“You’re more than welcome, Dean.” She glanced Cas’ way. “You too, Cas. As long as Dean wants you here, you’re welcome in this house. So long as there’s no fooling around.”

Now that he was actually faced with her as she said the words, Dean blushed. “We won’t. I promise we won’t.”

Ellen was smiling; clearly she knew she was embarrassing him and she enjoyed it. “Good. Now get dressed. I need you to come with me to Child Services.”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

Ellen sighed and pulled up a chair, sitting down beside them. “Yesterday, I went to speak to them about you and Sam. I showed them the photos I took of you. They’re very interested in your case. But they want to talk to you.”

Dean’s mouth was dry. “….why?” he asked weakly.

“I’m not certain. I think partly to get your account of what happened after the game. Also you are, like I said, practically an adult. So I think they want to speak to you in person before deciding what the best thing is to do with Sam. But it’s not just you. Sam’s coming too.”

Dean hated the thought of Sam having to do this, go speak to these strangers and take them through all the gory details of their home life. Still, what could he do? If there was even the slightest chance it might help, he knew Sam would do it. “….okay.”

Ellen nodded. “I’ll see you upstairs. Fifteen minutes, okay?” He nodded in agreement and she rose, heading up the stairs.

Dean looked at Cas and could tell immediately from the expression on Cas’ face that he understood implicitly what it was Dean was feeling. He reached out, gently stroking Dean’s cheek. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured.

“I know,” Dean muttered, sliding out of bed and digging around for a pair of pants. “I just…..I hate this.”

“I know. But you’ve got Ellen, and she’s working her ass off to get you a new home. So hopefully things’ll be settled soon.”

Dean gave a rueful smile. “I doubt it. But I hope so.”

Cas crossed the room to Dean, cupping his face in his hands. “I _know_ so.” He was smiling softly. “Good things do happen.” And he leaned in to give Dean a gentle kiss. “I’ll be here waiting when you get home,” Cas murmured.

Dean smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

It would most likely be several hours before Dean returned home. That gave Cas some time to blow and he knew just how to spend it.

The house was nondescript, pale yellow with a light blue trim. He would recognize it anywhere from years of carpooling when he was younger. He walked up to the door and knocked, three firm raps.

The person who answered the door was exactly the one he wanted to see. He smiled grimly. “Meg.” She looked completely taken aback to see him there, and he wasn’t at all surprised. 

“Castiel?” Her voice was somewhat wary. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, I don’t know….what made you send four boys into the locker room to beat up my boyfriend?” He saw her face change at that; clearly she hadn’t thought he knew she was behind it. “I mean, I’ve known for years now that you have feelings for me, Meg--” Her face twitched, something moving behind her eyes, and she opened her mouth in denial, but got no farther than “I don’t--” before he was barreling on. “—but I don’t see why you had to take that out on Dean. A little immature, don’t you think?”

Her face was growing angry now. “You can’t prove anything.”

“Oh, but I don’t _have_ to.” Cas stepped in closer until they were mere inches apart, his voice low and dark. “I can’t _count_ the ways that I can make you pay for what you’ve done, Meg. Ways that no one would be able to trace back to me. The only reason I haven’t done anything to you yet is because Dean has begged me not to. So you should be kissing the ground he walks on…. _worshipping_ it. Because I am _PISSED_ at you. And if I had _my_ way, you would be fucked ten times over by now. So if you hurt Dean any more than you have….in even the _tiniest_ little way…..” his eyes were narrowed, staring deeply into hers with a dark promise. “…..you _will_ regret it.”

Meg couldn’t look away, feeling fear rising in her throat like bile. She had heard stories of Castiel’s temper, seen glimpses of it before, but had never _dreamed_ of having it directed on her. In hindsight, her little tantrum of jealousy at the soccer game seemed like a _terrible_ idea.

“Do we understand one another?”

She couldn’t answer, only nod.

“Good.” Cas turned, climbing down the steps; he paused to look at her. “Any tiny little thing, Meg. I promise you.” And then he was gone, leaving Meg staring after him, heart pounding in terror as she wondered what the fuck she had gotten herself into.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean shut the door behind him, flopping back against it. That had been an utterly exhausting meeting. He wasn’t positive how many people he’d had spoken to. He’d had to go over the bruising on his face, indicating which were from the boys at school and which were from his father, then tell the people there the entire sordid history of his life, from the time he was four until now; tell them about how many times they moved, how his father could never hold down a steady job, how Dean had learned to cook when he was seven because otherwise they didn’t eat; tell them how he began sneaking into clubs and bars when he was fourteen to hustle pool so that he could AFFORD to put food on the table and buy simple things like clothes for his little brother. And Sammy? Sammy had never known his mom, and he saw maybe ten hours of his dad a month, and to be honest, it would probably be better if he didn’t. Those hours were never pleasant, his father generally drunk or angry, or sometimes both.

By the end of the interviews, Dean was in tears and humiliated because of it. At this point, he was relieved to be back at the Harvelle’s. He only hoped that the decision didn’t take too long.

Cas entered the room, looking at Dean with his brows raised curiously. “So?”

Dean’s response was to wrap his arms around Cas, hugging him tight. 

“Wow,” Cas’ voice was muffled. “That bad, huh.”

“Worse.” Dean released Cas and heaved a sigh. “At least it’s over.”

Cas smiled sympathetically, stroking Dean's cheek. “That’s one way to look at it.” 

“Yea.” Dean frowned. “Hey.”

“What.”

“I don’t have soccer today.” It was only just sinking in.

Cas looked surprised. “Oh man. You don’t. We have a whole day free.” It was such an unusual feeling. “What do you want to do?”

Dean looked positively lost. “…..I have no idea.”

Cas laughed. “Oh, okay.” But then a look came over Dean’s face. 

“Hey. How bout I teach you to play pool?”

Cas’ eyes lit up. “Oh! That sounds good!”

But minutes later, down in the basement of the Harvelle house, when Cas found himself bent over the pool table with Dean pressed up against his back, he realized how bad an idea this was.

“You know, when you said you’d teach me to play pool, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.” His voice was breathless.

“What do you mean?” Dean was the picture of innocence. “I’m just showing you how to line up your shot.” And it was true, he WAS in the perfect position to teach Cas. It just also happened that his body was pressed against Cas’ in one long, fluid line, including the point where his groin pushed against Cas’ backside. Cas could feel the growing erection against his ass and he bit back a little moan, but clearly he wasn’t successful, for now Dean pressed forward harder, rubbing against Cas.

“….Dean….”

“Mm?”

“…I don’t see how this is helping me learn….”

“Now Cas, which one of us is the teacher?” His hands traced over Castiel’s waist. “Find your center.” And, gripping Cas’ hips, he held him in place while he ground against him. Cas gasped, dropping the pool cue.

“Dean!”

“Yes?”

Cas pushed himself half up, glancing over his shoulder at Dean. “We can’t. Not here!”

On some level Dean knew he was right; on another level he was so completely enjoying the sight of Cas bent over the pool table. He wondered if Cas would enjoy it if it were him. “You mean you wouldn’t _like_ fucking me over the pool table?” If the way Cas’ body twitched beneath his hands was any indication, yes, Cas would like that very much.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas practically whimpered the name.

“Okay. Maybe next time.” For now…..Dean tugged Cas back up and spun him around, giving him a little push so his hips bumped back against the table; in a second he was on his knees, hands fumbling to undo Cas’ jeans.

“Dean! What if someone comes down—“

“No one’s home. Ellen went out with Bobby and Jo and Sammy are both out with friends.”

“But if they come home….”

Dean just looked up at Cas, something wicked in his eyes. “Then I guess I’d better make you come pretty quick, huh.”

_Oh God_. Because he didn’t _already_ have a hard time holding on when Dean’s mouth was on him, now those words? _Fuck_. Dean was swallowing him down, employing every little trick in the book, and those green eyes were looking up at him. Cas ran his hands through Dean’s hair. 

“You are _evil_ ,” he whispered. “One evil little bastard.”

Dean hummed his agreement and Cas nearly choked. “ _Fuck_.” He bit the word back, managing to keep it down so even if someone came home, they wouldn’t be heard. “Goddammit, Dean.”

Dean just chuckled and slipped a hand between Cas’ legs to fondle his balls. The movement was hesitant, one he had learned from Cas, but it felt amazing. _God_. Cas realized he had let his eyes fall shut and he opened them, looking down at Dean. The sight of those gorgeous lips moving up and down his cock, swallowing him down, was just too much, especially when Dean kept going, taking him all the way in, and he had to bite down on his fist to stifle the cry as he came. Dean had succeeded; that had been embarrassingly quick.

Dean slowly pulled back, tongue teasingly licking him clean the whole way, and Cas whimpered, grabbing a handful of hair and tugging him back. “Fucking tease,” he managed.

Dean just grinned. Cas was happy to see it. Dean was getting much more confident about his skill now. It was nice. “You know it.”

Chuckling, Cas caught the collar of Dean’s shirt and tugged him to his feet. He kissed him, tongue delving into his mouth, and made a happy little noise as he tasted himself on Dean. Dean just smiled at him, zipping Cas back up. “And you said we couldn’t do that here.” Cas laughed; Dean smiled. “But no more than that. Ellen’s being nice enough to take Sam and I in, I don’t want to repay her by fucking in her basement.”

Cas nodded. “I totally understand.”

Dean grinned. “We’ll save that for your house.”

Cas burst into laughter. “Oh we will, will we?”

“Oh yea.”

“Mm.” Cas leaned in for a kiss, murmuring “I’m more than okay with that.”

Dean smiled. “I thought you would be.”

 

**~*~**

 

Ellen arrived home the next day with a car full of groceries. Dean ran out to help her. “Thank you, Dean.” 

“Of course.” He and Sammy had been staying at Ellen’s for over a week now and he still felt slightly ill at ease, no matter how nice the Harvelles were. He had no way of paying them back and it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t like when he couldn’t do anything to help out.

Frustrated, he set a grocery bag on the counter; then, a thought hit him, and he felt like an idiot that he hadn’t thought of it sooner. “Ellen? Would you like me to cook dinner sometime?”

Dean’s homemade chicken cacciatore went over so well that his dinners became a regular staple at the Harvelle household, and he felt much better for it. Being able to help out, to give something back to these amazing people who were doing so much for him and Sam…..that felt wonderful.

Ellen told him one day that Child Services paid a surprise visit to John Winchester and had found the entire house in disarray. There were bottles everywhere, the fridge was empty, and apparently John had broken some furniture…..probably the night Dean and Sam had left. It hadn’t done much for his image as Father of the Year. So things had gotten moved ahead and they were just waiting to hear back on whether or not he and Sammy were getting turned over to Ellen.

At least things at school were beginning to even out. Dean had never been popular but he’d been fairly well liked, and after the initial news of him and Cas had hit, it was as if he had the plague. No one seemed to know how to react. There were the obvious bigots, but for the most part, people just seemed unsure. Now….well, people still stared, but it wasn’t like they had at first, as if he and Cas were zoo animals. No, now it was just with a vague curiosity, and he supposed it was to be expected. After all, it was a pretty big secret to come out with. 

As far as Dean knew, Cas still hadn’t gone after Meg. Dean didn’t know whether to be relieved or afraid. As Cas had said, his temper was a scary thing that would simmer and stew until it suddenly exploded, so Dean had no way of knowing if Cas had given up on the idea of revenge or if he was just stewing and plotting. On the one hand, he kind of wanted revenge as well and (he had to admit) he kinda wanted to see Cas’s infamous temper. But he didn’t want Cas to get in trouble, and he knew that’s what would happen in the end. So if at all possible, he’d rather avoid that entire encounter (amusing as it would most likely be). 

He glanced over at the corner table where Meg sat. She seemed to feel his gaze for she looked up. When she saw him looking she immediately turned bright red, eyes widening with something akin to fear, and she gave him a tight smile before averting her gaze.

He felt positively bewildered. Cas must have noticed for he poked Dean. “Oi. What is it?”

“Meg just smiled at me.”

“What??” Cas turned, looking in Meg’s direction, but she was now resolutely not looking their way.

“I have no idea. She saw me looking and got this vaguely panicky expression, then quickly smiled and looked away.” Dean turned to Cas and saw his cheeks flushing, a strange expression on his face, and he frowned. “You did something.” Cas did his very best to look innocent. “What’d you do.”

Cas fidgeted with his fork, poking at his lunch and avoiding Dean’s gaze. “I may have gone by her house and told her that if she did anything else to hurt you I would make her regret it.”

Dean just stared. “…..you _what?_ ”

“Hey, she hurt you!” Cas answered defensively. Maybe it hadn’t been Meg herself, but she had been the one to set those soccer players on Dean.

“…..Cas…..” Dean had no idea what to say. “…..how scary were you?”

Cas was quiet for a long time. “…….very.”

Dean couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter. Cas finally looked at him. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh my God.” Dean shook his head. “I love you so Goddamn much.”

“Because I threaten people on your behalf?”

“No. Well, kinda.” Dean was smiling now. “Because you worry so much about me. And take such good care of me.”

“Of course I do.” Cas cupped Dean’s cheek. “I love you.”

Dean smiled, leaning in for a kiss. “I love you, too.”

“Hey!” Sammy hollered down the table. He and his friends had begun sharing a table with Dean and the others. “No kissing at the lunch table.”

Without breaking the kiss, Dean flipped his brother off, eliciting laughter. He had the best boyfriend EVER.

 

**~*~**

 

It was the final weekend in November. Dean had made chicken parmesan and homemade bread. He had even baked a damn pie. Ellen had said she had good news for them and she had sounded so excited that yea, it sounded like an apple pie sort of night.

He found it hard to make it through dinner due to all his curiosity, but everything had come out pretty well, and everyone seemed to agree, so that felt good. He had put the pie in the oven to warm. Ellen had promised the good news would come with dessert. God. If _he_ was dying from _waiting_ for news, he didn’t know how _she_ was holding back TELLING it. 

Once the pie and ice cream was on the table, Ellen stood. “I’m sorry I made you all wait, but I figured this was best said and celebrated with dessert. Okay, boys.” She took a deep breath, a smile on her face. “The court order came through. I’ve been granted custody of you two.”

Dean heard Jo’s cry of excitement, Sam’s whoop of joy, but it all felt far away. He was staring at Ellen, unable to believe what he just heard. It was all too wonderful to be real. And in his head, he could hear Cas’ voice telling him _“good things do happen”_. A feeling of warmth spread throughout him, flooding every inch of him with happiness. Suddenly he had Ellen in his arms without knowing how he’d crossed to her side of the table and he was squeezing the life out of her. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice breaking with emotion. “ _Thank you_.”

“You’re welcome,” Ellen stepped back so she could address both of them. “You boys are family. Obviously I’m not expecting you to call me mom, but I want you to know that….I do consider you family.”

Dean’s eyes were burning hot; he ordered himself not to cry. Ellen seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and she smiled at him.

“Well, what’re you waiting for? Go call that boyfriend of yours. Tell him to get over here.”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. He’s family, too.”

His heart couldn’t handle much more. Dean hugged Ellen again, pulling away to run to the other room for a bit of privacy.

Cas answered on the second ring. “Dean?”

“We’re staying!”

It took Castiel a minute to register what Dean meant, but when he did…. “She got custody?!”

“Yes! Cas, we’re staying! I’m _staying!_ ” He still couldn’t believe it. He felt like dancing, like climbing the house and proclaiming from the rooftop how happy he was.

“Dean that’s amazing, that’s so amazing.”

“Ellen said for me to call you and have you come over.”

Cas sounded as surprised as Dean had been. “Really?”

“Yea. Said you’re family.”

There was a pause and when Cas spoke again, he sounded slightly choked up, just as Dean had been. “Okay. I…..I’ll be right over.”

“Boy!”

Dean spun at the sound of Bobby’s voice. Bobby lifted a forkful of pie. “Hurry up or we’re gonna eat all the pie without you.” 

Dean’s eyes automatically widened in horror. “Cas, I gotta go. Hurry up. I’ll try and save you some pie.”

“Try?”

“I love you!”

And Dean booked it back to the table, ignoring the laughter of his new family (family!) and the mocking as they ribbed him about his love of pie. He couldn’t believe this was his life now. This house, these people, and Cas. He supposed that Cas was right. Sometimes, good things really do happen.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, I gave you a happy chapter! Yay! AND Cas duking it out with Meg! So hopefully that made you happy lol.


	30. Moving in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You just wanna go  
> where your problems won't follow.  
> Baby that's okay with me.  
> ~'Moving in the Dark', Neon Trees

Dean stared deep into the mirror. He turned his head side to side, examining every angle of his face, but no. It seemed that finally, after nearly a month, all signs of the beatings he had taken after that soccer game had finally vanished. The swelling around his eye had gone down and he could see once again. Ellen had taken him to an eye doctor to make sure his vision was fine and to a neurologist to see if there had been any damage to his brain, but so far as they could tell, everything was in working order. There was no sign of any bruising left on his face or body. Finally, he was completely back to normal.

Cas was walking past the bathroom and he caught sight of Dean there; he backtracked and entered the room, coming up behind Dean and slipping his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder and smiling at him. “Preening?”

Dean snorted. “Something like that.” He ran a hand over his cheek where the worst of the bruising had been. “It’s so great to be back to normal.”

Cas’ smile had some sadness to it just at the mere thought of Dean being hurt, even though it was all in the past. “Yeah.” He kissed Dean’s cheek. “You look gorgeous.” 

Dean’s cheeks tinged pink. “Hush.”

“No.” Cas nuzzled Dean’s throat; Dean arched into the feeling. “Hey. I wanted to ask you to do something for me and I knew you wouldn’t until after you healed up, so I’m gonna ask you now.”

“Mm….’kay.” Dean probably would have agreed with anything as long as Cas didn’t stop those kisses. “What is it?”

Cas pressed a kiss just below Dean’s ear, the edge of his jaw, whispering “pose for me?”

Dean’s eyes snapped open. “…..I….like….” His throat suddenly felt incredibly dry. “…..in the panties?”

Cas shrugged his slim shoulders. “Doesn’t have to be. I would like that eventually, but if you don’t want to, we could do something else.”

Dean swallowed with some difficulty. “No. No, I…..I’d like that.”

“Which part? The posing or the panties?”

“Ah…..both.”

Cas chuckled. “Okay.” He took Dean’s hand. “C’mon. We can use my room. All my supplies are in there, anyway.”

Dean obediently followed Cas down the hallway and into his bedroom. Then a thought hit him. “Oh! But we don’t have--” But before he could finish the sentence, Cas was reaching into his dresser and withdrawing the pink panties, holding them up with a smile. Dean stared. “When did you….”

“When we were packing up all your stuff and moving it to Ellen’s,” Cas answered. “I saw my chance and stole them. Figured it’d come in handy to have them here, since there’s obviously no way we could have you lying around in them at Ellen’s.”

Dean flushed at the very idea. “Yea, not so much.”

Cas smiled. “So….” He offered the panties. “You wanna?”

Dean swallowed again, but he managed a nod, reaching out and taking the panties from Cas. Cas could see he was nervous. He stepped back. “Okay. You get changed. I’m gonna….fix an area up for you to lie down on.”

God, Dean looked so nervous. “We don’t have to do this,” Cas told him, worried. Dean shook his head fiercely.

“No. No, I want to. I’ve just….” A shaky laugh. “Never worn them before in front of anyone but Rhonda.”

Cas felt an inexplicable swelling of jealousy. “She the one who made you put them on?” A nod. “Well.” He stepped in closer, hands closing over Dean’s, and when he spoke, their lips almost brushed. “Now you’re going to wear them for _me_.” His voice was a soft murmur, and it clearly affected Dean. Color rose to his cheeks but it wasn’t from embarrassment but arousal; he nodded, whispering “yes.” 

A little memory poked at Cas' brain then, how this girl Rhonda had _ordered_ Dean to wear the panties and how Dean had like it. Maybe that was the way to play it. Cas released Dean’s hands, smiling. “Go get changed.” 

Sure enough, the order, though given with a smile and no ferocity behind it, still sent another thrill of color through Dean’s face and he gave a jerky nod. “Yes.”

Okay, that was both adorable AND sexy. Cas tried to simultaneously keep an eye on Dean as he changed and also set up a comfortable place for him to lie down while he was drawn. He managed to arrange a soft bed of pillows beneath a comforter, which created a nice blank canvas that would still feel comfy for Dean, and then he turned. What he saw took his breath away.

Dean was fully changed, standing before Cas in nothing but a pair of far too small pink satin panties. His cock was hard and straining against the fabric. The thin straps of the underwear cut across those jutting hipbones. Cas put his hands on Dean’s slim waist and gently turned him around to look at the way those panties tried in vain to cover his gorgeous ass, cutting up high on each cheek. Cas bit back a groan at the sight. Dean looked absolutely _gorgeous_ , his masculinity combined with his casual grace wrapped together in this beautiful satiny package. It was too much. 

“ _Fuck_ , Dean.”

“Yea?” His voice was nothing more than air. 

Cas didn’t know how to respond, what to say, so he just did what his body was telling him to do: he gave Dean’s ass a smack. Dean cried out in surprise and not a little bit of lust. _Fuck_ , that was hot. Cas stepped in close to him, kissing his throat.

“You look fucking _gorgeous_.”

“Haa…..thanks.” Dean’s voice was breathless; he was clearly as affected as Cas. Cas ran his hand over Dean’s ass, loving the feeling of it covered in satin, and Dean bit back a whimper. Cas responded by giving him another little smack, eliciting another cry. 

Cas chuckled, nuzzling Dean’s throat. “You like being spanked?”

Dean was struggling to find words. “Dunno. Never tried it.” Fuck, Cas’ hand on his ass was distracting. “….weren’t you going to draw me?”

…..oh yeah. Cas let his hand fall away. “Sorry. You’re incredibly distracting.” Dean made a smug little sound and Cas swatted his butt. “Shut up.” Dean just laughed. “I set up an area for you over here. Just…..lie down on the blanket. There’re some pillows there too, so you should be comfy.”

Dean did as he was told, shifting around a bit until he found a comfortable spot and settling in. “Is this okay?” he asked, unsure.

Cas had settled in a few feet away, sketchpad in his lap; looking at Dean, he nodded. “It’s perfect. I just want to be able to see your whole body, so that’s great.” He grinned. “Not gonna draw the boner, though.”

Dean flushed, but he smiled. “But that’s one of my better features.”

Cas laughed, and began to draw.

 

**~*~**

 

By this point, Dean was such a frequent visitor at the Novak house that he no longer knocked, he simply let himself in the front door. Gabriel was in the kitchen, eating a bowl of ice cream.

“Hey, Romeo.”

Dean rolled his eyes at the nickname Gabe had given him. “Hi. Is Cas upstairs?”

Gabe shook his head. “Nope. Basement. Needed the printer.”

The got Dean’s attention. “Okay. Thanks.” He headed downstairs. He’d only been in the basement a few times….the boys usually stayed in Cas’ room or in the living room….but he still knew the way. “Cas?”

Cas was sitting on the floor, a pile of papers spread before him, and he jumped in surprise when Dean called his name. “Oh. Hey.” He looked almost guilty.

“….what’re you doing?” Dean was growing more curious by the minute.

“Ah….” Cas shifted back onto his knees, gathering the papers into a neat pile so he could show Dean. “….if you’re not okay with it, we can throw them out.”

Dean crouched beside Cas and took the papers from him, eyes skimming the writing. _‘Help Fight Homophobia at Chitaqua High!’_ Below it was information on the incident at the soccer game…..the kiss, Dean being beaten up, and Adler subsequently kicking him off the team. Cas went on to plead for Adler’s removal as teacher, as well as the removal of the players who had attacked Dean.

Dean’s green eyes looked up from the paper to meet Cas’ gaze. Those blue eyes were so worried, he chewed his lower lip nervously. “Is that…..are you mad?”

Dean let the papers slip through his fingers, throwing his arms around Cas, who fell over beneath the barrage, landing on his back with Dean atop him. “I love you,” Dean whispered. 

Cas huffed a laugh, a relieved sound. “I love you too.” He stroked Dean’s hair. Dean pulled away and sat back on his haunches, picking up one of the fallen papers and reading over it again.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

Cas pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Of course I did. I love you, Dean. I love you and I’m gonna take care of you. Always.” Dean kissed him again, hand cupping his cheek. Cas smiled at him. “So this…..this is okay?”

“Yea.” Dean looked at the paper. The thought of these being passed around town, of hundreds of strangers being asked to sign this petition, was a little nerve wracking, but it would be worth it. Like he had told Mrs. Harrison, if his situation could bring awareness to others, it would all be worth it. He looked to Cas, nodding. “Yea.”

Cas looked so ridiculously happy that he was able to do this for Dean. “Oh, good.” He picked up a paper and looked at it, frowning slightly. “I only hope it works.”

Dean smiled. Cas was so adorable, always needing what was best for Dean. Not just wanting, _needing_. “Even if it doesn’t, this means so much, Cas. Really. The fact that you’re willing to put in this much time and work….yea. That’s amazing.”

Cas was looking at Dean as if he were crazy. “Of course I am. I’ll do anything for you, Dean.”

Dean was overcome with those ridiculous fluttery feelings Cas always gave him, because he knew that. With most people that would seem like an exaggeration but from Cas it was utterly true. “I know.” He kissed Cas. “I really do know. You….you’re the best.”

Cas smiled, thumb gently stroking Dean’s plump lower lip. “Just for you.”

Dean grinned. “Damn right just for me.”

Cas laughed, loving the smile on Dean’s face. There was a sudden sound at the top of the stairs and Gabriel yelled down “quit being so sickeningly adorable! I can hear you up here and it’s disgusting!”

The door shut with a click and Dean and Cas stared at each other, then burst into laughter.

 

**~*~**

 

“Are you SURE you wanna go?”

Dean sighed. “Cas. I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

The two sat in the car outside Bela’s house where she was having a Christmas party. Christmas was still several weeks away, but Bela wanted to get things done before the real holiday rush set in.

Cas shrugged. “Just….kids are still being sorta weird around us. I didn’t know that you’d want to spend a whole night around that.”

“….well, no,” Dean admitted. “But the worst way to deal with it is to avoid it. The best thing to do is act normal. If you act like you do every day, act as if nothing about you has changed, then people will start to realize that really, nothing HAS changed.”

Cas stared at Dean. “…..that is incredibly smart.”

Dean laughed. “I have my moments.” He leaned in, kissing Cas. “Okay, let’s go.”

They had grown so close to Bela by this point that they didn’t even bother knocking but just let themselves in. The house was decorated to the nines, a tree in every room, tinsel and lights lining the mantels, the tables filled with Christmas cookies and punch and of course alcohol.

Even though they had come in on their own, Bela quickly spotted them. “Boys!” They endured a double hug. “I’m so glad you came!” 

“Hey, Bela.” Dean smiled at her when she finally released them. “Looks like a good party.”

She pulled a face. “My cousin showed up from New York. I tried to get rid of him but when he heard there was a party he refused to leave.”

“Cousin?” Cas asked.

But Dean didn’t hear any more, for there, less than ten feet away, stood Balthazar. He felt his heart stop; he couldn’t breathe. It was his own personal hell come to life.

Cas noticed Dean staring and looked at Balthazar in confusion. “Dean?” Then he realized that Dean wasn’t breathing, was having a silent panic attack. “Dean!” He looked to Bela, frantic. “Get a paper bag!” He grabbed a chair, steering Dean into it. “Put your head down between your knees.” Bela reappeared with a paper bag and Cas forced it into Dean’s hands, ordering him to breathe into it. Dean did his best to comply and, after several minutes, he was able to breathe again. Cas knelt before him, yanking Dean into his arms. “You scared me to death!” His voice was shaking, so scared after seeing Dean panic like that, still not knowing the reason why. “What WAS that?”

“Hello, Dean, darling.”

At the sound of that voice, Dean began shaking in Cas’ arms, and Cas knew what it was that had caused Dean’s panic attack. He didn’t know WHY, but it was this man. He released Dean, though he still held his hand to reassure him, and he rose to face this stranger, who was regarding Dean with a seductive little smirk. “Who the hell are you?”

Bela, meanwhile, was looking from the stranger to Dean with surprise. “You two know each other?”

“Oh we met at a party _years_ ago,” he said, his voice a posh British accent rather like Bela’s. He turned that smile in Cas’ direction. “I’m Balthazar.”

At the sound of the name, Dean flinched, and Cas recognized it immediately. This was the asshole who had used Dean, who had hurt him and made him feel worthless and dirty. “ _You_ ….” He growled. 

Balthazar’s brows shot up. “I see my reputation precedes me.”

“It usually does,” Bela said, and she didn’t sound happy about it. She looked to Dean, to Cas. “What’d he do?”

“He hurt Dean.”

That got more surprise out of Balthazar. “ _Hurt?_ ” he echoed. “I gave the little virgin an amazing orgasm. If anything I was _helping_.”

“Yeah?” Cas was furious. “You call what you did afterward ‘helping?”

“….ah.” That seemed to register with Balthazar. He shrugged one shoulder. “I was just finishing myself up.”

Cas shook his head; he was seething. “You’re a disgusting human being.”

Balthazar looked amused. “I take it you’re the one he’s with currently?” Cas said nothing. “How are you liking him? I thought he was pretty good, even though I never got to enjoy him fully.”

Cas’ fists clenched; Dean put a hand on his shoulder, standing beside Cas. He had finally calmed down enough to center himself in the here and now and he could tell that Cas was going to snap soon. Balthazar seemed to find the entire thing dreadfully funny. Finally he spoke _to_ Dean rather than over him.

"Still a blushing virgin, Dean?" Dean flushed; Balthazar raised a brow. "Well, I see the statement is at least _part_ true." He turned his attention to Cas once again. "I suppose we have YOU to congratulate for that?"

Dean felt Castiel stiffen, could tell he wanted to go after Balthazar with everything he had. "Cas, don't," he murmured.

"Dean, please--"

" _Don't_."

Balthazar was smiling at their exchange. "Ooh, _someone's_ developed a set."

"Always had them, asshole," Dean retorted, glaring.

"Ah yes, I remember. They were quite nice, too." Dean had to grip Cas' arm to hold him back. Balthazar smiled, his amusement growing as Cas' anger grew. "Still, I'd wager he's much more obedient in bed. Behaved for me, anyway. How was it, being the first one to plow that sweet ass? Bet he was a tight little thing. Never got my cock in him but damn, just having my fingers up there...."

But he got no further for Cas was on him, the punches raining down. “Cas!” Dean grabbed Cas, pulling at him, trying to get him off of Balthazar. “Cas, _don’t!_ ”

Amazingly, Cas let himself be stopped, be dragged off of Balthazar. Dean couldn’t believe it. Cas had a horrible temper at the best of times, and for him to meet Balthazar, to hear Balthazar taunting them with the dirty details of what had happened between the two of them…..Dean honestly couldn’t believe Cas had let himself be stopped, especially when he saw the rage in those blue eyes. Balthazar sat up, wiping the back of his hand across a bloody nose.

"What.” He rose, brushing himself off. Amazingly, he was still smiling, despite the beating. “….need your big strong man to fight your battles for you? He take care of you, baby?" 

Without warning, Dean clocked him so hard he went sprawling to the floor. "No.” He stared down at Balthazar, fists clenched. “I just have some semblance of maturity to refrain from this bullshit. Unlike you.” Balthazar was looking up at him, hand to his mouth, his split lip, afraid to move. He clearly hadn’t been expecting Dean to hit him, to make _any_ sort of move on him. “And yes,” Dean continued, “Cas takes care of me, and I take care of him. That's what people _do_ when they love each other. But you wouldn't know anything about that, _would_ you? All you do is use people.” He looked away from Balthazar to the blue-eyed boy beside him. “Come on, Cas."

Cas took his hand, squeezing it. Bela was there at their side in an instant. “Are you okay?”

Cas turned to Dean, looking him over. He LOOKED okay, though there was no way to be certain until they got home and got Dean talking again. Cas nodded. “I think so.”

She sighed in relief. “Thank God. Well….I’m certain you want to leave after what just happened but you don’t have to because of Balthazar. He’s leaving. I’m not letting him stay after that.”

Cas felt warmth inside, knowing that Bela would kick her own cousin out rather than them. But one look at Dean told him that they would be better off leaving. Dean’s face was impassive, blank. No tears, which was a good sign, but a complete lack of emotion was never good, either. He shook his head. “Thanks, Bela, but I think we’re gonna go home.”

She nodded, and her face was truly stricken. “I’m so sorry. Really.” Her eyes were on Dean. “I’m really truly _so sorry_ , Dean.”

That got some emotion out of him. He shook his head. “No, Bela. It’s not your fault.” A wry smile. “Past mistakes come back to haunt us sometimes.”

Oh no. Cas didn’t like that. It sounded as if Dean was about to go into a spiral of self-blame and hatred. This was no good.

Bela clearly thought the same, her face worried; she kissed Dean on the cheek. “Go take care of yourself,” she said softly. “I’ve got an asshole to kick out of my house.” That actually startled a small laugh out of Dean, and then they left.

Dean was silent the entire car ride home, which had Cas panicking more and more. He knew Dean was going to have an emotional drop, he just _knew it_. Once they reached Ellen’s at last, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He forced Dean to look at him, tilting his chin up until Dean finally made eye contact. “Dean. Talk to me.”

And yet Dean looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“Dean, I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for, but stop it _now_.” He hoped that hadn’t been too abrupt, but Dean ALWAYS apologized when he shouldn’t. “Now. What is it? What has you so upset?” Besides the obvious. Cas wanted to know what it was that had Dean apologizing.

Dean still wouldn’t look at him. “Balthazar. I just….whenever I think of him…..I mean I thought I was over it, after having you, but seeing him tonight…..I just think of what I let him to do me and I feel so guilty and ugly, and I know I shouldn’t feel that way, I know that, but I can’t help it--” 

Cas grabbed Dean’s chin so suddenly and with such a forceful grip that it caught him by surprise and he stopped talking, staring at Cas with wide, shocked eyes. 

“You’re right. You SHOULDN’T feel that way. You’re beautiful. You…..you know what? Come here.”

And Cas took hold of Dean’s hand, tugging him inside and to the bathroom. He began stripping Dean of his clothing until he stood naked before the mirror. 

“There,” he said. “Look at you. Look how beautiful you are.” Because he was. Everything about Dean was absolutely gorgeous, including the flush that was spreading down his throat and onto his chest. “And I wish I had a mirror that could show you your soul because that? That’s the most beautiful part of you. You’re the most amazing and gorgeous person I have ever met, Dean. I am NOT just saying that. I love you. More than anything.”

Dean was scarlet by now. “I love you, too.”

Cas’ eyes met Dean’s in the mirror. “Do you believe me? About Balthazar not having damaged you at all?”

Dean hesitated. It was so deeply ingrained in him after so many years now. But if Cas said that he was clean, unmarred…..he nodded. “Yea. Yea, I do.”

The smile that spread across Castiel’s face was beautiful. “Good.” He kissed Dean’s temple. “That……” He couldn’t find words. “That’s good.” Dean actually smiled and it filled Cas’ heart with warmth to see it. He turned Dean to face him, giving him a gentle kiss. “So….” He stroked Dean’s cheek. “Bath?”

 

**~*~**

 

By the time they got to bed, both boys were pruny from being in the tub for so long. It was a good thing Ellen had a downstairs bathroom and didn’t mind the boys canoodling so long as it wasn’t actually sexual. A bath was pushing it, but she had been asleep upstairs through the entire thing.

Dean snuggled under the covers, getting as comfortable as he could without Cas there beside him. Cas paused before joining him. After all that had happened that evening, it seemed like a good night for _‘Hey Jude’_. He picked up the album but Dean reached up and stopped him. Cas looked down at him questioningly but Dean just shook his head. "I don't need it anymore.” That seemed to have come out wrong and he paused, correcting himself. “I mean it’ll be nice to have it but I don’t _need it_." Cas' brow furrowed, confused, but Dean smiled, explaining simply, "I've got you."

Cas felt his heart explode, he was in bed without realizing it, pulling Dean into a ferocious kiss. "I love you." His voice was breathless. 

Dean smiled. "I love you too. You.....you're my everything."

Oh God, Cas was crying. He only realized it now but he was crying. Dean gently brushed the tears away. "You too,” Cas managed. “You…I can't believe you love me."

"I do. I _adore_ you."

Cas smiled, laying back and pulling Dean into his arms. Despite the way Dean snuggled close, he was quiet when he spoke up, asking for reassurance though he already knew the answer. "And you'll never leave me?"

Cas tilted Dean's chin up to meet his gaze, their eyes meeting as he shook his head 'no', their lips joining in a soft, firm kiss. " _Never_."

And somehow Dean knew, right down to the very fibers of his being, that Cas’ promise was true. He kissed Cas again, another soft slide of lips, loving the feeling of Castiel’s body against his, beneath his, knowing that, despite the best efforts of people like his father, Cas would always be there with him. He laced their fingers together, whispering “I love you.”

He could hear the smile in Cas’ voice as he whispered back. “I love you, too.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is posted a day early. I was thinking about tomorrow and could not envision myself wanting to post. Think I'm going to be way too tired what with work. Got two jobs now and what with illnesses I'm not used to that much work. So I'm posting it now. Sorry that there's some more angst, but it can't be helped. :/ Hope you all enjoyed it anyway!


	31. The Past is the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At a party for some people  
> I had met a couple nights before  
> we got social and some things got heavy for a while  
> The past is the past.  
> ~'Friendly Fire', Neon Trees

The Monday after the party, Cas was nervous. He had no idea how many people had heard what Balthazar said, or how they would react to it. And God knows that twice as many people would know as would have heard. These things always spread like wildfire.

True enough, people were staring when they got to school. Cas glanced nervously at Dean but to his surprise, the blonde boy didn’t look at all upset. That confidence boost this weekend seemed to have helped more than Cas had known. Sure, Dean faltered a little when they entered English and all eyes focused on them, but only a little. Then he squared his shoulders and threw Cas that confident, beautiful smile that the brunette loved so much, squeezed Cas’ hand, and led them to their seats.

They didn’t find out until lunch what the rumors were, when they got the full scoop collectively from all the others, Benny, Ash, Charlie, and Bela. Apparently the rumor was going around that some guy had made comments about the two of them being fags so they had beat the crap out of him, and now everyone was saying not to mess with them. 

Cas was completely taken aback. “Seriously? _That’s_ what they’re saying?” Charlie nodded. Dean snorted.

“Well, I guess it’s better than the _real_ story.” He got some curious looks at that and realized that no one but Cas (and to some degree, Bela) _knew_ the real story. “….ah…..Bela’s cousin.”

“My cousin Balthazar,” Bela explained as all eyes looked to her. “He came down from New York for the weekend, unfortunately. Though he’s no longer here. I kicked him out.” The words were spoken to Dean as though to reassure him and he smiled at her. “God knows where the derelict is now.”

“…..okay,” Benny said after a moment of waiting. “So what’d he do?”

Dean wasn’t sure how to answer, especially when his little brother was sitting not too far down the table, ears perked up, waiting to hear more. “….let’s just say that he and I met several years ago and it didn’t end well.”

“Ah.” Benny nodded. “So I take it the reunion didn’t go so well, either.”

Dean couldn’t help a burst of laughter. “Not so much. Especially when Cas found out who it was.”

Charlie glanced at Cas. “I take it Cas knows the whole story, then?” Cas nodded. Dean was beginning to feel guilty.

“Sorry, guys. It’s just….” He looked down at the table, shrugging uneasily. “It’s pretty heavy stuff. Not like I don’t trust you,” he added hurriedly. “It’s just….” He felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder, rubbing his back, and some of the tension eased.

“It’s okay, Dean.” Charlie leaned her head on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, we don’t mind,” Ash said. “Everyone’s got their own shit to deal with.”

Dean huffed a laugh at that, at the way Benny was nodding in agreement, those pale blue eyes so solemn, and he felt his own eyes burning. “You guys are awesome.”

He could feel Sam watching him still. Fuck. This was a conversation he had hoped to never have, but he was positive that Sam would bring it up sometime. He’d just have to put it off as long as possible and maybe, just maybe, Sam would forget.

 

**~*~**

 

Sam _didn’t_ forget, and Dean had absolutely no luck ducking him. It was usually such a good thing to be staying in the basement at Ellen’s….it gave him amazing privacy. But the downside was that once he was down there, there was no escape other than the stairs….the stairs that currently, Sam was blocking.

Dean paused in front of the stairs, notebook in hand. He was supposed to meet up with Cas, and while Cas would probably be drawing, Dean liked to mess around in his notebook, often jotting down poems. But he couldn’t go anywhere with Sam blocking the way.

“What’s up, Sammy.”

Sam ran his hand lightly up and down the stair railing. “Who’s Balthazar?”

Fuck. Dean knew this was coming. “We said at lunch. He’s Bela’s cousin.”

Sam gave Dean one of those looks, the ones that stated how difficult he thought Dean was being. “Dean.”

“What.”

“You know what I mean. What happened between you two.”

Dean’s heart was beginning to pound; his head was aching. He didn’t want to have this conversation; not with Sam. “Nothing.”

Sam sat down on the stairs, which just made things worse. That showed that he had no inclination to leave until this conversation was fulfilled to his satisfaction. _Goddammit_. 

“Goddammit, Sammy, I don’t wanna talk about this, okay?!” He was not going to cry, he wasn’t.

“Just _tell_ me!”

“We hooked up, okay?!” The words burst forth, snapped angrily at Sam. “Years ago at a party. I was fourteen. He did…..well……” Dean couldn’t bring himself to explain any further. “…..it didn’t end well.” He felt sick.

Sam looked about as sick as Dean felt. “This…..” A look of dawning realization came over his face. “This was that time you wouldn’t talk for a week….wasn’t it.” His voice was very soft, the words barely even a question, but Dean still answered, a short nod. Sam rose and stumbled down the stairs, throwing his arms around Dean. Shocked, Dean returned the hug. He was horrified to realize that Sam was crying.

“I’m sorry,” Sam sobbed. 

“Hey, no.” He stroked Sam’s hair. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I should’ve figured it out. I should’ve taken better care of you. I should’ve--”

Dean took Sam’s face in his hands, cutting off that rambling train of thought. “Hey. You tried. I wouldn’t tell you because I wasn’t ready to tell  _anyone_. And it’s my job to take care of YOU. Though you do your damndest to do things the other way around.” Sam smiled through his tears. Dean ruffled his hair. “Seriously, Sammy. Don’t worry about it. It’s long over now.” Cas had helped him see that, and he really felt like now he would be able to move on.

Sam’s face was tear-streaked but he didn’t look so upset anymore. “Okay.” He even managed a smile. “I love you, jerk.”

Dean laughed, messing up Sam’s hair again. “I love you too, bitch.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was only a week and a half till Christmas, and Dean was worried. He’d never had anyone to buy gifts for but Sammy, but this year? This year he actually had friends, and now there was Ellen and Jo to worry about, and Bobby…..fuck. It was a lot to handle, and he didn’t have a job. He’d decided to do the only thing he could think of, the only thing he was good at: hustling pool. It had been hard finding time when Cas was busy and Ellen and Sam wouldn’t miss him, but he’d managed. 

It was after midnight when Dean slipped in the door, shutting it quietly behind him. The house was dark, no lights on, and he moved silently, determined not to wake anyone up.

“ _You’re_ home late.”

FUCK. Dean jumped at the voice, eyes blinking as the light suddenly turned on, blinding him. Bobby was sitting at the kitchen table, the look on his face stating that he had been waiting up specifically for Dean. Under normal circumstances that would have made Dean feel good. Right now it just sent panic running through him. He fished for an excuse. “….yea, I was…homework.” Bobby just raised a brow, giving him a look that stated he didn’t buy it for a second.

“Uh huh. Then you wanna tell me where you got that wad of cash I saw you lookin’ at when you got out of the car?”

Oh fuck. Bobby wasn’t just waiting up, he had been watching. Dean swallowed; Bobby gestured. “Let me see it.”

Reluctantly, Dean pulled the money out of his back pocket and tossed it onto the table. Bobby picked it up and thumbed through it, looking up at Dean with surprise in his eyes. “…..you’ve got two hundred dollars here.”

Dean shrugged noncommittally. “Yea.”

“……how did you make this.” There was a tone to Bobby’s voice that Dean didn’t care for. It was concern, plain and simple, but Dean didn’t like that Bobby was worried about him, that he had to wonder about what Dean was up to.

“Hustling pool.”

Bobby was quiet for a long moment, fingers toying with the cash; finally he held it out to Dean, who snatched it. “S’this cuz of Christmas?” Dean didn’t respond but his silence was answer enough. Bobby nodded as if that had settled something for him. “I remember one night when you boys came to dinner with your dad, you mentioned that you like working on cars. S’that right?” Another shrug. Dean couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Bobby. “Because if you’re interested, I can give you a job at my garage.” THAT got Dean’s full attention and his head snapped up, wide eyes looking at Bobby. "You don't have a lot of time left before Christmas to work so you wouldn't make a LOT of money, but I could give you an advance for this week, so you’d earn money for two weeks instead of the week and a half. I mean you look like you're doin' pretty well there.” He gestured to the cash. “But I’d rather have you making money legally." Dean’s face flushed at that. “Besides….I could use the help.” Bobby’s gaze was steady, looking straight at Dean. “You interested?”

Dean didn’t even have to think about it, he was nodding almost before Bobby finished the question. “Yes. Yes, I’m interested. Definitely.” 

Bobby actually smiled at that. It was rare for Bobby to smile. Generally one discerned his emotions from the tone of voice, not the look on his face. “Good. You can start tomorrow then, yeah?”

Dean was still nodding enthusiastically. “Yea. Thank you. Really, thank you.”

Bobby snorted, amused by Dean’s enthusiasm. “You’re welcome.” He looked at the wad of cash in Dean's hand and his look turned appraising. "....you must be pretty good at pool."

Dean said nothing, unsure what direction this conversation was taking, merely gave a fast, tight nod. After a moment or two more silent consideration, Bobby looked to Dean with raised brows. "Wanna play sometime?"

 

**~*~**

 

Two balls sank into two separate pockets and Bobby let out a groan of frustration. “You _are_ good.”

Dean grinned. “Thanks.” He paused, looking intently at the table for his next shot.

“Here,” Bobby spoke up. “How about we add some stakes.” Dean looked at him warily. He was already lacking in money as it was. “If you win, I’ll add an extra hour’s wage to your paycheck.”

Dean waited, but Bobby didn’t say anything more. “…..and if I lose?”

Bobby shrugged. “You can bake us a pie?”

Dean stared, then let out a burst of laughter. “That sounds like another win for me.”

Bobby grinned. “Guess I’m feeling generous.” He watched Dean move around the table. "Just don't tell Ellen." 

Dean huffed a laugh from where he was bent over to line up a shot. "Whipped." He sang the word under his breath. Bobby arched a brow. 

"Cuz you ain't?" At that Dean flushed, his shot going askew, and Bobby smiled smugly. "Yeah, s'what I thought."

Dean glowered at him and thoroughly trounced his ass, just to get revenge. By the end of the day, he’d added an extra hour’s wage to his next four paychecks.

 

**~*~**

 

“Dean!”

Dean poked his head out from underneath the hood of the car. “Yea?” Bobby was coming towards him, wiping his hands on a rag. 

“How much more you got to do on that car?”

Dean looked appraisingly at the engine, determining how much work was left. “Bout ten minutes or so.”

Bobby nodded. “Okay.” Dean ducked his head back under the hood and resumed work; Bobby sat beside him and opened a beer, clearly done with his own work for the day. They sat in companionable silence for several long minutes before Bobby spoke up again. “You’ve been doing good, boy. It’s been a real help having you around here.”

Dean’s face flushed with the praise and he was glad he was under the hood of a car where Bobby couldn’t see him. “Thanks.”

“Thank _you_. I’ve always done well enough on my own that I’ve never wanted a second worker, and I really wasn’t sure if this would work or not, but having you around has been really great.”

It felt good to hear that. It really did. It wasn’t just knowing that he was helping out, giving back to these people who had given so much to him; no. Far too quickly Bobby had become something of a father figure in Dean’s life. It worried him, as it always did when things in his life got good, frightening him that the bottom would fall out. But as soon as Bobby had asked him to help out at the garage and they had begun playing pool together and working together, they had developed a relationship that Dean had _never_ had with his father, had given up hoping for when he was no older than eight. Bobby came across as so gruff but he was really truly caring and he treated Dean as if they were related. It was amazing. So hearing that Bobby liked having him around? That felt positively _wonderful_.

“….I….” Dean floundered for words. “….I’m glad I can help.” He put the finishing touches on the engine and closed the hood. “All set.” 

Smiling, Bobby tossed him the rag and he wiped his hands clean, or as clean as they could get without the assistance of soap and water. “Anyway, I came out here for a reason.” Bobby fished around in his back pocket and pulled out an envelope, offering it to Dean. “Your first paycheck.”

Dean stared, mouth agape; he reached out with trembling hands, taking the envelope from Bobby. A paycheck. His own paycheck. Money that he had earned legitimately, because he had stayed in one place long enough to actually have a legitimate job. To have a home.

Bobby was watching him with a smile. “Thank you,” Dean whispered, practically clutching the envelope to his chest. Bobby shook his head.

“Thank _you_. You did a good job around here.” There was something in his eyes now….not quite sadness, but close. “You’re a good kid, Dean. I don’t know many people who would do what you’ve done….take care of your brother and put up with your dad….and still come out of it as good a person as you are, not bitter and jaded.” The words made Dean’s face burn but, try as he might, he couldn’t break Bobby’s gaze. “That’s impressive. You’re a really good kid.”

Dean was at a loss for anything to say. “….I….” Luckily, Bobby didn’t seem to expect an answer. Then, he felt something cold against his cheek. Looking up, he saw snowflakes filling the sky. “Hey!” He looked back at Bobby, a smile lighting up his face. Bobby had to laugh.

“Get out of here. Go enjoy the snow with that boyfriend of yours.” Dean smiled gratefully, turning to go, but Bobby called after him. “Just make sure you let Ellen know if you’re coming home or not.”

Dean turned around, smiling. “I will.” And then he was off, running out of the garage.

Bobby watched him go with a smile on his face. In his pocket, his hand played idly with the ring box he’d been carrying around for over a month. Not much longer now.

 

**~*~**

 

Cas was in the kitchen when Dean arrived, grabbing a snack. When he heard the door he turned around and was taken aback at the sight of Dean in his work jumpsuit, covered in oil. “ _Well_.”

Dean laughed breathlessly. “Sorry. Came here straight from work.”

Cas’ eyes roved over Dean’s body. “I can tell.” He paused, then grinned. “Y’know, it’s kinda hot.”

Dean’s brows shot up. “My work jumpsuit?” Cas nodded. “Seriously? Cas, I’m covered in oil.”

Cas nodded. “I know. And you’re all sweaty and your hair is messy and you have dirt smudged on your cheek.” He moved closer and closer as he spoke until he was nearly pressed against Dean (not quite, for he didn’t want to dirty his clothes). “….it’s sexy.” His words were murmured against Dean’s lips. The blonde flushed with arousal.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he whispered. “Don’t do this to me, Cas.”

“Do what?” Cas’ voice was innocent.

“You know perfectly well what you’re doing. So unless you’re legitimately planning to strip me out of this jumpsuit and fuck me over the table, stop it.” Dean didn’t miss the heat that flared in Cas’ eyes at those words; in an instant Cas had grabbed the front of Dean’s jumpsuit and was dragging him up the stairs so fast that Dean was tripping over his own feet.

He quickly found himself in Cas’ room, being shoved up against a perfectly serviceable desk. Within seconds the door was slammed shut and Cas was there beside him, one arm sweeping all papers to the floor. Dean’s jumpsuit already had several buttons undone, white wife-beater visible. Without preamble, Cas tore it the rest of the way open; Dean was certain he could hear a button go spinning across the floor. He stared, wide-eyed. Clearly his words downstairs had had the desired effect. Cas was a wild thing.

“…..Cas…”

Cas looked up at him, fire in his eyes. “Yes, Dean?”

Dean couldn’t formulate words; finally he managed “don’t stop.”

“Oh, believe me,” and now Cas was shoving Dean’s jumpsuit off his shoulders and pushing it down to his waist, kissing Dean fiercely as he did so. “…I don’t intend to.” He spun Dean around and, one hand on his back, pushed him forward, bending him over the desk. Dean couldn’t believe how forceful Cas was being but _fuck_ , it was sexy. He tried to peek over his shoulder, to get a look at Cas, but Cas only pushed harder on his back. “STAY.” And fuck all if Dean was going to disobey an order like that.

Cas moved away, heading to the bedside table where he kept the lube, quickly returning to Dean’s side, setting it on the desk beside Dean. It was directly in his eyeline, right where he could stare at it and envision what was to come. He shivered.

He felt Cas’ hands stroking his back and trailing lower, sliding down over his backside and taking the jumpsuit and boxer briefs as he went, teasing over the now bare flesh. Then Cas was spreading his cheeks, opening him up and holy FUCK what _was_ that?? 

“Fucking hell!” He half snapped up, trying to see what Cas was doing, but Cas was on his knees behind Dean, and anyway, as soon as Dean tried to stand up, there was that hand again on his shoulders, forcing him back down over the desk. He submitted, letting Cas’ hand nudge his legs wider apart, and there it was again, that hot slick tongue slipping between his cheeks, teasing over his entrance and then…. “Ohhhh _God_ ,” he moaned. His hands were clutching the edges of the desk hard enough to hurt but he barely noticed. “Cas, what the _fuck_.” He could feel that tongue pressing into him, probing, and holy hell this shouldn’t feel so damn good but it did. At some point Cas had grabbed the lube for suddenly there was a slick finger replacing that tongue, slipping into him and stretching. “ _Cas_ …” He pressed back, wanting more, but Cas just pushed him harder down against the desk.

He moved fast, stretching Dean quickly but thoroughly, and Dean could hear Cas’ barely suppressed moaning, could tell how pleased he was by the feeling of Dean’s body, by Dean’s reactions to his touch. Finally Cas removed his fingers and then he was pushing into Dean with a muffled whimper, biting his lip to stifle the noise.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” The words were very matter-of-fact, despite being spoken so breathlessly, and Dean shuddered.

“Yes, please.” He arched back against Cas as best he could with that hand still pinning him down. “ _Hard_.”

That got a reaction, and Cas’ hips snapped forward. He didn’t hold back, fucking into Dean hard and deep. Dean was gone, simply along for the ride at this point, unable to do anything but cling to the desk and take it, a whimpering mess of feeling. Cas had shoved Dean’s wife-beater up and was mouthing along his back, the knobs of his spine, up to the juncture where his shoulder met his throat. Then Cas’ hand slipped beneath the desk and wrapped around Dean’s cock. A few quick jerks was all it took before Dean was coming, quietly for once, for he barely had any breath left to scream with, Cas’ name spilling forth in a long, whimpering moan.

Dean’s orgasm had him tightening around Cas’ cock; it didn’t take much more before Cas was joining him, hands gripping Dean’s hips as he buried himself deep in Dean, filling him with his hot seed. He half collapsed over Dean, catching himself on the desk as he struggled to get his breath. Dean was still lying there, though his own breath had evened out.

“ _Fuck_.” Dean sounded thoroughly fucked out. Cas waited for more. “I guess you really DO like the jumpsuit.”

Cas burst into surprised and delighted laughter. “Yeah.” He leaned in, nuzzling Dean’s throat, the marks that were slowly purpling there, loving the fact that they no longer had to hide them. “I really do.”

“Mmm.” Dean hummed his approval, then shifted. “…can we sit down or something?”

“Oh!” Cas felt terrible for not thinking of it sooner. “Sorry.” He pulled out of Dean and shifted back, sitting on the floor and tugging Dean with him, into his lap. Easier than moving to the bed. Dean didn’t seem to mind, either, simply leaned into Cas, sighing happily.

“That was _awesome_.”

Cas smiled. “Yeah?”

Dean nodded. “Yea.”

Cas ran his hand through Dean’s hair, kissing his temple. “Glad we agree.” He glanced down Dean’s body to the wet handprint left there from when he had grabbed Dean’s hips after jerking him off. “…I got you a bit dirty.”

Dean looked up at him with a suggestive expression. “Always do.” He waggled his eyebrows. Cas smacked him.

“Pervert.”

“Oh, says the guy who just forcibly dragged me to his room, stripped me, threw me over a desk and fucked me ten ways to Sunday?”

“…..point taken.” Cas looked at the desk, the mess he’d made when he’d thrown all his things to the floor, then pulled a face. “Aw man. You came all over my floor.”

Dean colored. “Hey, your fault!”

“MY fault?”

“Must I again point out to you that I was dragged up here and thrown across a desk?”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Cas paused, then smirked. “But you loved it.”

“Oh, I _totally_ did.” Dean leaned back against Cas, sighing happily. “By the way, it’s snowing.”

" _What?!_ ” Cas was out from under Dean in an instant, leaving the other boy sprawling on the floor as he ran for the window.

“WOW.” Dean pushed himself up to a sitting position. “Really feeling the love over here.”

Cas had the good grace to look abashed. “Sorry.”

“Yea, yea, sure.” Dean kicked his boots off and wriggled the rest of the way out of his jumpsuit. Cas had only yanked it down far enough to fuck him; it had pooled somewhere around his knees. Dean pulled his wife-beater off as well and balled up the offending garments. “Well, do you want to spend the night at Ellen’s with me?”

Cas gave Dean, now naked, a once-over. “Like that?”

Dean glowered at Cas. “You’re SUCH an ass.”

Cas laughed. “You love me.”

“God help me, I do. But no. I figured I could use your shower and then borrow a pair of pajamas so that I’m clean to go drive home.” Unfortunately it would be in a car Bobby had loaned him soon after Dean and Sam had moved in with Ellen. The Impala legally belonged to John and he had reclaimed it first thing. Dean missed it terribly.

Cas nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Awesome.” Dean rose, pausing to look at Cas. “You’re joining me in the shower, right?”

“Of course I am.”

“Good.” Dean set his jumpsuit aside where it wouldn’t get anything else dirty. “….Cas?” Dean’s voice was hesitant. “That thing you did with your tongue….”

“Rimming?”

“Yea. That.” Dean was clearly very embarrassed about the whole thing. Cas was grinning.

“Liked that, did you.”

Dean flushed. “You know that I did.”

“Well, then.” Cas pinned Dean up against the bedroom wall, an evil little smile on his face. “Guess I’ll have to do it again sometime.”

Dean couldn’t help it; despite the flush, he had to smile as well. “I guess you will.” He paused, watching Cas head across the room, and his face turned even more red; his voice was quiet when he spoke. “….or _I_ could give it a try.”

Cas had been occupied getting a set of clean pajamas for Dean; at Dean’s words he nearly dropped said pajamas, spinning to face Dean with wide, shocked eyes. “ _What??_ ”

Dean flushed but looked at Cas with determination. “I said that I could give it a try.”

“….I….” Cas didn’t seem to know what to say, and his awkwardness gave Dean courage. He moved towards Cas, who fidgeted, clearly at a loss, until he had Cas pressed against the opposite wall.

“Would you like that?” Dean murmured. Somehow Cas managed a nod, swallowing hard.

“I mean….if you want to.” He fumbled for words. “If you think you know what to….”

Smiling, Dean took the pajamas from Cas’ hands and set them aside. “Oh, I think I can figure it out.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you get two chapters SUPER close together! That's cuz tomorrow is Thanksgiving, then I have a super busy work day at the tea room on Friday, then Friendsgiving on Saturday (aka my friends are hosting a Thanksgiving party). So I'm going to be busy busy.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the smut. Do NOT ask where it came from, I have no idea. This chapter was supposed to have plot, I swear. But there's two more chapters written and they will be uploaded as per the usual timetable. 
> 
> I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!


	32. Need You Wrapped Under My Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish as I may, wish as I might  
> Grant me this one small wish  
> on Christmas night.  
> ‘Cause I don’t need candy  
> or the toys from my youth  
> I just want you, darling, I just want you.  
> ~'Wish List', Neon Trees

Cas woke up to the smell of something delicious. Someone was cooking breakfast. Dean’s arm was looped about his waist so he rolled over carefully, making sure to not disturb the sleeping boy. Dean stirred only slightly, making a tiny “mmph” noise. Cas smiled, leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose, and Dean blinked, another tiny noise emerging. Cas muffled a laugh. “Morning, sleeping beauty.”

“Caaass,” Dean whined. It was amusing Cas to no end. Usually _he_ was the one who slept in and Dean had to wake HIM up. This was quite the switch around, and he was enjoying seeing sleepy-Dean.

“Aww, you tired?” Cas couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice and Dean pouted, even with his eyes barely open, blinking sleepily.

“Yes. Shut up.”

“No.” Cas ran his hand through Dean’s hair, fingers teasing along his scalp, and Dean couldn’t help but arch into the feeling, humming happily. “I NEVER see you when you’re sleepy.”

“Mm…” Dean’s eyes were shut again as he enjoyed the sensation of Cas petting him. “S’cuz YOU’RE always sleeping late.”

Cas chuckled. “True. But I like this. It’s _adorable_.”

“Oi.”

“No. You are.” Cas gave Dean another kiss. “I think someone’s making breakfast.” Dean gave an experimental sniff and his eyes opened.

“Oh!”

Cas laughed at the excitement in his voice. “You wanna check it out?”

Dean nodded, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Let’s go.”

They tromped up the stairs together in pajamas and bare feet. Ellen and Jo were in the kitchen together; Jo was at the stove, poking at a skillet full of bacon, and Ellen was flipping pancakes.

“Holy cow!” Dean stared. Jo turned and smiled at them. “What’s all this?”

Ellen looked over her shoulder, smiling at him as well. “Well, you cook for us so often….we figured we’d do something nice for _you_.”

It felt so good to hear. Dean felt a warm tightness in his chest. Cas could see what he was thinking and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, giving him a little squeeze. Dean smiled at him.

Ellen looked at them, nodding. “You boys sit down now….just relax.” It really did feel amazing, though Dean couldn’t help feeling a little spoiled by all the attention. Still he did as he was told and sat, Cas by his side, letting Ellen and Jo make them each a plate with pancakes and bacon.

Sam came in about halfway through breakfast, yawning and rubbing his eyes, but he didn’t stay sleepy for long; his eyes shot open and he was at the door in a flash. “IT SNOWED!”

Dean laughed. “Sammy, it was snowing when we went to bed.”

“Well yeah, but now there’s a LOT of it!”

Honestly Dean hadn’t looked. Neither had Cas. They both rose, going to the door to take a peek. “…..holy shit.”

There were PILES of snow. MOUNTAINS. Dean would estimate there was over a foot. It was a shame it hadn’t happened on a school day because they definitely would have had a day off.

He turned to the others, grinning. “We have GOTTA have a snow-war.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Yeah?” He and Dean hadn’t had a good snow-war in a long time.

Dean nodded. “Yea. .” Cas and Jo both looked confused. “Its part snow ball fight, part hide and seek,” he explained. 

Cas was smiling. “I’d like that.”

Oh good. Cas was interested. Dean turned to the last member of their group. “How bout you, Jo? You in?”

She was smiling as well, and nodded at them. “Definitely.”

“Okay, then. Right after everyone finishes breakfast, snow-war it is.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean had dressed not just for snow, but for hide and seek. You needed to, in a snow-war. Camouflage was the name of the game. He didn’t have a white winter coat OR white pants, but he layered on gray sweat shirts and wore a pair of blue jeans so faded they were practically gray. Sammy, well used to Winchester snow-wars by now, did the same. Jo had the advantage of owning white clothing so she was properly outfitted. Each of them had built up their own personal little fort and begun stockpiling snowballs. Now they were just waiting on Cas.

The front door opened and Cas emerged, clad in head to toe black. Dean stared from where he was hidden behind a tree. “You know, Cas,” he called out, and he could see Cas’ head whip around back and forth, looking for him, “I don’t think you _quite_ understand the point of this game.”

Cas’ head cocked in that adorable head tilt. “Huh?”

Dean rolled another snowball. “Your clothes. You stick out like a sore thumb.”

Cas looked down at himself. “……oh.”

There was a moment of silence and then all three of them were upon Cas at once, a barrage of snowballs raining down upon him. “Oh, no!” He tried to cover himself, to protect his head, but it was no use; there were just too many snowballs. And then there was Dean, shoving Cas, laughing, into a snowbank and pinning him down, covering his mouth in a kiss even as he ground a snowball into Cas’ hair. Cas was giggling madly, laughing into the kiss, and Dean pulled back to grin at him. “You lost, Cas.”

“I _lost??_ But we’ve barely begun!”

“Mmm….” Dean gave him a once-over. “You lost. Just coming to a snow-war in all black makes you lose.”

“Hey!”

“Stop canoodling, you two.”

Dean glanced over his shoulder, looking up at Jo. “ _Canoodling?_ ” he echoed.

She nodded. “Canoodling.”

Dean turned back to Cas, who was regarding him with an arched brow. “Canoodling,” he affirmed.

Cas just grinned and, out of nowhere, reached up and ground a handful of snow into Dean’s face. 

“You did NOT just do that!” But before he could take revenge, Sam was shoving a handful of snow down the back of Dean’s shirt. “Son of a bitch!” Now they were all ganging up on HIM and he tumbled backwards out of Cas’ lap, scrambling to get to his feet. “You’re going DOWN, Sammy!”

Sam ran away, laughing, and Dean gave chase. He could hear Jo behind him, and Cas, both laughing as they ran after him, throwing snowballs as they went. The snow-war had officially begun.

Inside, Ellen and Bobby watched. Ellen shook her head, smiling. “It’s good to see them having fun.”

Bobby nodded in agreement. “Don’t think those boys have had much fun these past few years.”

Ellen’s smile took on a sad edge. “I know. John used to be a good man, but something in him died when he lost his wife.”

“Losing your spouse is no excuse for treating your boys like shit.”

“I’m not making excuses for him,” Ellen said sharply. “I’m just saying. He wasn’t always the way he is now.” She was quiet for a long moment, watching the four kids outside. “…..I tracked down Mary’s parents.”

“Mary?” Bobby asked.

“John’s wife. The boys’ mother. She died when Dean was four. Sam never knew her. When she died, John moved them all in with her parents for a little while, and I got the impression that Dean was pretty close with his grandmother. So I tracked them down. Thought it might be nice to reunite them.”

Bobby was incredibly quiet. “You mean….would they be taking the boys back?”

“No!” Ellen sounded almost horrified by the idea. “No. I actually spoke to them about that, to see if they wanted to. I mean, I know that as family, it’s their right. But I don’t want to give those boys up. And thankfully, they seem to think the boys are good where they are.”

Bobby was quiet, but after a minute he nodded. “Good.”

Ellen smiled. She knew Bobby was fonder of the boys than he let on. “Yeah. They’re just going to come and spend Christmas with us.”

“Oh. Well that’s nice.” Bobby felt a little strangely about that, considering that tiny jewelry box in his pocket. He had plans for that on Christmas morning, and the extra company made him wonder if he should postpone them. But it didn’t matter if he had to. It would be worth it for the boys to see their grandparents again.

 

**~*~**

 

The last day of school had been hard, but it usually was. It always seemed to go so slowly, each minute dragging on and on until the day was done and you were finally free for Christmas vacation. The only good part was exchanging gifts. Dean felt so good that he had been able, with Bobby’s help, to afford gifts for all his friends. He had even bought a small bonus gift for Cas to go along with the scarf he had made: a new sketchbook and some charcoals. Cas had been ecstatic. It turned out that he also had two gifts for Dean. One he gave him that day and it was something Dean would _never_ have expected.

The present must have been hidden in the trunk of the Prius, for it wasn’t in the car that morning, but it was waiting there in the backseat when they got out of school. Dean stared. “You got me an antique typewriter??”

Cas smiled. “Yeah. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you writing all those poems in the margins of your notebooks.” Dean blushed at that. He HAD thought Cas hadn’t noticed. “So I thought that the big writer might want to write the way all the big writers do.” Dean was silent; Cas bit his lower lip anxiously. “Is it…..do you like it?”

In response, Dean threw his arms around Cas, hugging him close. “I _love_ it. Cas….” He pulled back to look at Cas. “I can’t believe you thought of something like this. This…..it’s so Goddamn original.”

Now CAS was the one blushing. “Not really. Oh.” He fished in his pockets and pulled out a small, leather bound journal. It was slightly smaller than one of Dean’s school notebooks, though not by much, and was stained a gorgeous mahogany color. “I got you this, too. So you don’t need to write the poems in your school notebooks anymore.”

Dean was staring, looking as if he would cry. “Cas…..” He hugged him close again. “You’re _amazing_.” 

God, Cas was red. “Am not. I just love you.”

So now the typewriter was set up on a desk in the basement of the Harvelles, not far from Dean’s bed. Every time he looked at it he smiled. He couldn’t wait to give Cas the scarf he had knitted. That wouldn’t be until tomorrow, though. The Harvelles, (and honorary Harvelles, aka Sam and Dean) and of course, Bobby, were spending Christmas Eve together, and doing gifts on Christmas morning. Later that evening he would see Cas, and they would exchange gifts.

For now….for now he had to get upstairs. He was cooking dinner. 

 

**~*~**

 

Dean surveyed the kitchen. He thought he did a pretty good job. Everything looked amazing. Hopefully it would taste just as good. It shouldn’t be too long now before everything was done.

There was the sudden sound of the doorbell, and Dean’s ears perked up. Bobby was already at the house, and he didn’t ring the doorbell anyway. Who the hell was here?

Ellen came into the kitchen, a smile on her face. “Dean.” He looked inquisitively at her. “You need to come into the living room. There’s someone you should see.”

Dean’s heart began to pound. Was it his dad? No, it couldn’t be his dad, Ellen was smiling. But who else could it be? He didn’t know anyone else. Wiping off his hands, he left the kitchen, and immediately stopped dead, the towel slipping through his fingers.

His grandparents were standing in the living room, smiling at him. His _grandparents_. He hadn’t seen them since he was four and they had obviously aged, his grandfather fully bald and his grandmother’s hair gone gray, but he would recognize them anywhere. 

His grandmother was wearing the same golden scarf he remembered her knitting while he had sat by her side, attempting to knit that first scarf of his own. She was smiling, the soft, sweet smile that had always comforted him, even in the worst of times. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean was staring at them with huge eyes, his mouth open. He tried to speak, found no words, and immediately burst into tears.

He felt arms around him, holding him close, rubbing his back comfortingly, but he couldn’t stop crying. He had never expected to see his grandparents again. _Ever_.

He finally pulled away, needing to see their faces. It was difficult, tears obstructing his vision, but still they were there, their blurry shapes swimming before his eyes. His grandmother wiped away the tears, smiling at him. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Grandma.” His voice broke on the word.

Sam was there. He had clearly already come in the room, had seen their grandparents before Dean had, and was tearing up now to see Dean in tears. He was obviously happy but it didn’t have the same effect on him as it did on Dean, since he had been too young to remember his grandparents. He was just a baby when they had last been together. Dean couldn’t imagine how wonderful it would be for Sam to get to know them at last.

“You….” He looked between the two of them. “I _missed_ you. So much.”

His grandmother smiled, his grandfather chuckling. “We missed you too.”

Dean couldn’t figure out how….and then he realized, and he looked to Ellen. “You….you did this?” She didn’t have to nod, to confirm at all. He moved to her, hugging her tight. “ _Thank you_ ,” he whispered. “Thank you _so much_.”

She hugged him back, stroking his hair. “You’re welcome, Dean.”

Suddenly he remembered…. “The turkey!” He practically leapt out of Ellen’s arms, and she laughed.

“Its fine, Dean.”

“I have to check it.”

“You cook?” His grandfather was so surprised.

“He’s an _amazing_ cook.” Bobby sounded so proud, as proud as if Dean were his own son. God, Dean was going to cry all over again. “He’s making the whole dinner.”

Dean scrubbed a hand across his eyes. “And I better get back to it, before it gets ruined.”

“We’ll come with you. I’m sure you can use some company.”

Dean smiled. “That would be great.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dinner had come out perfectly. Dean couldn’t be happier, and the food was the least of the reasons why. He had honestly never expected to see Samuel and Deana Campbell again. To see their smiles, to hear their laughter….hell, to even have them YELLING would make him happy, so long as they were there. And now here they were, sitting at Ellen’s table, eating the food he had made…..he was overflowing with happiness.

By the end of the night he was tipsy on eggnog that Samuel and Bobby had put way too much rum in, winking at him as they did so and refilling his glass far more than they should have. It was after midnight when he stumbled his way downstairs and somehow managed to strip out of his pants, though he decided it was too much trouble to put on pajama pants in the state he was in. Underwear was good enough.

Cas’ phone rang several times before he answered. “Dean?” He sounded surprised.

“Caaaaaaaaaaas.”

“…….Dean, are you okay?”

“YUP. _Lots_ of eggnog.”

“….are you drunk?” Cas sounded ridiculously amused.

“Little bit, yea.” He could hear Cas bite back a laugh. “Shaddup. Cas. Cas. Cas guess what.”

“What, Dean.”

“Ellen found my grandparents! They’re here! Here at the house!”

“ _What??_ ” Cas sounded almost as surprised as Dean had felt. “That….that’s _amazing_ , Dean! Oh my God!”

“I know! That…..they…” God, he was gonna tear up again. “…..s’ so good to see them again, Cas.”

“I would imagine.” Cas’ voice was soft and happy, so happy for Dean. “You’ll have a good day tomorrow.”

“Yea.” _God_ , Dean was so happy, and so drunk. So sleepy. He yawned, he couldn’t help it.

Cas heard and chuckled. “Sleep, baby. You need it.”

Dean nodded, then remembered Cas couldn’t see it. “Yea.” He yawned again. “Love you, Cas.”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

 

**~*~**

 

Christmas morning, Dean came upstairs wearing his mother’s scarf. His grandmother began crying when she saw it, pulling Dean into a hug. Even his grandfather teared up at the sight of it, and he clapped Dean on the shoulder.

Dean felt horribly guilty that he didn’t have gifts for the two of them, but he hadn’t known they were coming. And he had managed to afford gifts for Ellen, Jo, and Bobby, so that was something.

Seeing the way Sammy’s face lit up with each present he opened was the best Christmas gift Dean could have wished for. Sammy had never had a real proper Christmas before. This? This was _fantastic_.

It didn’t take long before all the presents were opened. Sam especially tore through his pretty fast, which made sense; he was still young, and this was like the childhood he’d never had. Soon the group of them was surrounded by an ocean of wrapping paper. Dean balled up a piece and threw it at Sam.

“Well,” Jo looked around at all of them. “Thank you, everyone.”

“Not quite finished yet.” Everyone turned their attention to the Campbells. “Dean? Sam? We have something to tell you.” Dean wasn’t sure how he should be feeling, excited, apprehensive, a mixture of both, but both Samuel and Deana were smiling, so that put him mostly at ease. “When you were born, we started college funds for each of you.” Dean felt shock hit him. By the look on Sam’s face, he clearly felt the same. “They’ve been steadily growing all these years. So when it’s time for you to go to school, you’ll have at least a good head start, depending on where you want to go. And we’re more than willing to help you with the rest. We WANT to take care of it. As much as we can afford.”

Dean felt as if he could cry. He had been saving up for college for Sam for years, sticking spare money in his duffle bag. After all these years there was a decent amount, but nowhere NEAR enough to get Sammy to college. Now, to find this out? This was amazing.

He moved to the two of them, hugging them tight. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you _so much_.” Sam was there as well, joining him in the hug.

When they pulled away, he saw everyone else watching them with a smile and he flushed self-consciously. “Okay,” he said. “Guess I should start on dessert.”

“Just one more.” Bobby caught everyone’s attention. He turned to Ellen, who looked at him curiously. “Ellen…we’ve been together for four years now. And if you’ll forgive me for going against my nature and being emotional for once, these four years have been the best in my life.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the tiny box he’d been carrying around for over a month now. Ellen’s eyes widened, her breath catching. He opened the box to reveal a ring. “Will you marry me?”

She didn’t even need a moment to think it over. A smile broke over her face, she nodded. “Yes. Yes!” 

Dean watched, happiness filling him as Bobby pulled Ellen close, kissing her, a smile on her face as he slipped the ring on her finger. Jo looked overjoyed. This was amazing. He had never seen Ellen or Bobby so happy, and Jo would have a new dad…

That made him think of something else. They would be a family now. Where did he and Sam fit in? Would Ellen still want them around?

“Well,” and he saw now that Ellen was brushing away tears, so happy that she was almost crying. It sent a pang through him. He didn’t want to leave but he couldn’t begrudge it, not if it made Ellen so happy. “That makes this as good a time as ever to bring up MY last gift. Or what I _hope_ is a gift.” She turned to Dean and Sam. “Boys? If you’re interested….I’d like to legally adopt you both.”

Sam must have had some sort of reaction but Dean didn’t hear it. He was staring at Ellen, eyes huge; he saw Ellen’s mouth move, shaping his name, but there was no sound, and then he burst into tears.

“Dean!” 

There were hands on him, Sam wrapping his arms around Dean, hugging him, and Dean fumbled to hold him back. He was a sobbing mess. He couldn’t believe this was his life now; there was no _way_ this was his life.

Ellen was looking at him, stricken, obviously worried that Dean was upset by the idea when it was completely the opposite.

“Yes,” he sobbed. “ _Yes_.”

At that word, Ellen slid out of her chair and knelt on the floor before Dean, pulling him into her arms with a smile. “Is that a yes, you’d like me to adopt you?”

He nodded, scrubbing at the tears on his face. Wait. Sam. What about Sam. He looked for his brother, but Sam just smiled, nodding at him. Good. They were on the same page.

He was staying. Dean and Sam were staying in Connecticut, and they had a new family. AND his old one back. His grandparents had promised last night that, even though they lived in a different state, they would be staying in touch. He couldn’t believe he had all of this.

Sitting around the dinner table that afternoon, eating the pie he had made, Dean looked around at all these family members and felt overcome with happiness. 

 

 

**~*~**

 

 

It was pitch black when Dean showed up on Cas’ doorstep. He let himself in, as usual, bypassing Gabriel with a wave (and ignoring the way the boy arched an eyebrow at Dean’s penguin pajama pants) and heading right upstairs to see Cas.

The brunette was sitting on his bed, sketching with the new charcoals that Dean had given him, and his face lit up when Dean entered. “Dean!”

“Hey.” He dropped his bag to the floor and shut the door behind him, then headed right to the bed, climbing on and kissing Cas deeply.

“Wow.” Cas laughed. “Someone’s happy to see me.”

“Always.” He shifted on the bed. “So it turns out my grandparents had set up a college fund each for Sammy and I, right when we were little.” He smiled when he saw the surprise and happiness on Cas’ face. “I’m gonna be able to go to college, scholarship or not.”

“Dean that’s amazing, really.” Cas cupped his face, kissing him.

“Know what’s MORE amazing?” Dean didn’t know how he had held back the news so long, hadn’t spit it out the instant he walked in the door; he was brimming with excitement. “Ellen is marrying Bobby. And they’re adopting Sammy and me.”

Cas’ face lit up like a Christmas tree. He pulled Dean right into his lap, kissing him hard and deep. He knew what this meant to Dean…to have a family, a real family that loved him as much as he loved them. “Baby that’s _wonderful_.”

“ _You’re_ wonderful.”

Cas laughed breathlessly. “I need to give you your gift.”

“Oh! Right!” Dean had somehow almost forgotten about gifts in the excitement of sharing his news with Cas. He had no idea how….he was truly excited to give Cas this scarf. He had showed it to his grandmother, quite nervously, wanting her to see it since she was the one who had originally taught him knitting. She had been extremely impressed, and that had made him so happy. He scrambled off the bed and over to the bag he had left by the door, returning with a package in hand. “Here.” He thrust it at Cas.

Cas smiled at the snowman wrapping paper, then carefully tore it open. His eyes widened when he saw the scarf, soft and in varying shades of blue. Rather like Dean’s mother’s scarf, now that Dean thought about it. He hadn’t realized it at the time he bought the yarn; he had simply been picking out colors to match Cas’ eyes.

Cas held up the scarf, looking it over. “Dean…..did you make this?”

Dean nodded, flushing. “Yea. Do you….do you like it?”

Cas looked amazed. “Dean….I _love_ it! I didn’t know you could knit!”

“Yea. That.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “The yarn and needles Charlie put on my lunchbox? You know how I said they were cuz my mom knitted? She didn’t. My grandma, her mom, she taught me when we lived with her years ago. We moved in with her for a while right after mom died, when I was four. And I decided to see if I could relearn so I could make you a scarf. Worked on it during my Charlie days.”

Cas couldn’t have looked happier if he had tried; he hugged Dean, giving him a kiss. “I love it, Dean. Love YOU.”

“I love you, too.”

Cas looked at it, considering. “…..it looks kinda like yours.” He sounded somewhat hesitant, as though he didn’t know if he should make the connection.

“It does. I hadn’t realized that until just now. Honestly, I chose the colors to match your eyes.”

Cas blushed brilliant crimson. “That……you’re _adorable_. And wonderful. And I love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you, too.”

Cas wrapped the scarf around his neck, smiling as he stroked the soft fabric. “I really do love it.”

Dean kissed him. “Good.”

Cas gave him a little poke. “Now yours.” He reached into the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a tiny package. “Here.”

Dean tore it open. It was a small box, and inside was a bracelet. It was very simple, a plain silver band, but there were inscriptions in it, one on the outside and one on the inside. When he read them, he felt his heart stop. It was from _‘I Carry Your Heart With Me’_ by e.e. cummings, the poem Dean had chosen for class the day he and Cas had come out as a couple. The outside read _“I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear.”_ He pulled it closer so he could read the inside. _“i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true).”_

He stared at Cas, wide-eyed. “…Cas…”

Cas was biting his lower lip anxiously. “You like it?”

“Cas, I LOVE it! I can’t believe….I can’t believe you remembered this poem!” Cas hadn’t even been in the room when he had read that poem in class; he had only been there for Dean reading _‘Richard Cory’_.

“Of _course_ I remembered! You told me in advance that you chose that poem specifically for that day…..for _me_. It stuck in my head.”

Dean shook his head, smiling. “You’re _amazing_.” He put the bracelet on, admiring it. “I love it, Cas, I really do.”

Cas gave him a kiss. “Good.”

Dean set the box aside on the nightstand. “We sleeping here tonight?”

Cas smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

“Good.” Dean snuggled up against Cas, yawning. “Cuz I don’t feel like moving.”

Cas chuckled. “Well you have to. I need to get in my pajamas.”

Dean let out a noise of discontent. “Picky picky.”

Laughing, Cas prodded Dean. “Up.”

Whining, Dean reluctantly moved, crawling from Cas’ lap so the brunette could get up. He moved quickly though, changing fast so that he could crawl back into bad with Dean. “Better?” he asked.

Dean was snuggling close, one hand gripping Cas’ shirt, and he nodded with a smile. “Better.”

Cas shook his head, chuckling. “So silly.” He kissed Dean’s forehead. “Sleep.”

Dean mumbled his agreement, already halfway there. Cas stroked his hair, thinking of how much Dean had gained that Christmas, and his heart fluttered with joy. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was Dean.

So they held each other close as the snow began to fall outside on that silent Christmas night.

 

**~tbc~**


	33. First Things First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are never gonna get everything you want in this world.  
> First things first: get what you deserve.  
> ~'First Things First', Neon Trees

It was FREEZING outside, but there was no way Cas was moving. He had been standing outside Walmart for five hours now, handing out fliers and petitioning people for signatures, and amazingly he had gotten a lot. By this point, after all the weeks he had been appealing for Dean’s reinstatement to the team and Adler’s removal as teacher, he had received hundreds of signatures. He was aiming for 1,000 and he honestly thought he might get there.

“Hey there, handsome.”

Cas turned, surprised, and there was Dean, smiling at him. Cas smiled back. “Hi, baby.”

Dean held out a mug. “Brought you some cocoa.”

Cas’ eyes widened, love filling him, and he took the mug. “ _God_ , I love you.”

Dean laughed. “Love you too.” He looked down at the papers in Cas’ hands. “How’s it going?” His cheeks were flushed ever so slightly. Though Dean appreciated Cas’ efforts and was incredibly happy with the idea, he still couldn’t help but feel shy at the thought of hundreds of people knowing his name, his story. Cas asked him repeatedly if he was okay with it but Dean always assured him that he was, and it was the truth.

“It’s going well.” Cas held up the papers. “I’m almost at 1,000.”

Dean’s eyes widened almost comically large. “Are you _serious??_ ”

Cas nodded. “I guess people in this town aren’t as bigoted as one would think.” He smiled somewhat sheepishly. “Although it helps that I travelled to several different Walmarts.”

Dean laughed at that. “Yea, I suppose that would do it.”

Cas smiled. “We’re almost there.” He was so happy, especially when he saw that Dean was happy too. That was what he most wanted to achieve here. There was no point in winning this battle if it didn’t make Dean happy. He leaned in, kissing Dean softly. “I love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

Cas was triumphant when he headed into school, petition in hand. There were over 1,000 signatures on it. He didn’t wait for the secretary to give him an appointment, simply strode into Principal Moseley’s office and dropped it onto her desk where it landed with a loud thump. “Here.”

She looked from the papers up to him, picking them up. “What’s this?” 

“A petition to reinstate Dean to the soccer team and to kick off the boys who beat him up, as well as to fire Mr. Adler.”

Principal Moseley just looked at him, and Cas stared defiantly back at her. There were several silent moments and then she sighed. “Mr. Novak….I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Cas felt his heart drop; he pointed at the petition. “There are over 1,000 signatures in there proving that people support this agenda.”

“I can see that,” Moseley said, flipping through the papers. “And I can possibly do something about the soccer players. But Mr. Adler has taught here for many years now--”

“But--”

“And there is no proof that he said anything inappropriate to Mr. Winchester other than the word of Mr. Winchester and Mr. Fitzerald. That isn’t enough for me to go on.”

Fury filled Castiel. “That’s _BULLSHIT_.”

“Watch your language, Mr. Novak.”

He could barely see, he was so angry. He pointed at her, his finger practically shaking with rage. “This isn’t over.” With that he turned and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him so hard that it shook on its hinges.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean knocked on the door to Cas’ room, cautiously poking his head in. “Cas?” The boy had never showed up to school that day and it had Dean worried. But there he was, sitting on his bed and looking completely healthy other than the rage on his face. His arms were folded across his chest and he looked angrier than Dean had ever seen him, other than when he had met Balthazar.

Dean crossed the room to him. “Cas?”

Cas just shook his head, muttering “it’s not _fair_.”

Dean sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around Cas’ shoulders. “What isn’t fair?”

Cas was silent for a long moment. “…..I took the petition to Principal Moseley.” His voice was incredibly quiet. “She said she may be able to kick the boys off the soccer team but that she can’t do a thing about Adler…..that she has no proof he said anything inappropriate. But I don’t think that was the only reason. I don’t think she wants to run her school by the opinions of students and random strangers.”

Dean felt a pang in his chest, but it was only partly due to the pain of having Mosely ignore what had happened to him, ignore Adler’s homophobia; no, more of it was to do with the pain he saw on Cas’ face. He stroked Cas’ hair, his cheek, and finally Cas looked at him, such anger and sadness in those big blue eyes. Dean smiled at him, albeit somewhat sadly. “You can't always get what you want, Cas.”

Cas stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. “No. No, fuck that. You've never had enough. All your life, you’ve given everything you have to everyone around you and never asked for anything, not even the things you’ve earned, that you rightfully deserve. So this time, you're going to get not just what you deserve, but what you want. _Everything_ you want.”

Dean’s heart did that ridiculous flutter; he couldn’t believe this boy was his, this amazing boy. He smiled fondly, stroking Cas’ cheek. “You’re amazing, you know that.”  


Cas turned into Dean’s hand, kissing his palm. “More than likewise.” He picked the petition up off his nightstand, looking at it. “Tomorrow I’m taking this to the local news.”

Dean felt surprise sweep over him. “I…..what??”

Cas looked to him, clearly anxious. “Is that okay with you?”

Dean thought for a minute. If CBS took up the story, so many people would know his story. _Was_ he okay with that? But there was really only one answer he could give. He nodded. “Yes.”

Cas’ face dissolved into the most beautiful smile; his hand cupped Dean’s cheek and he kissed him. “I’m going to make this happen,” he promised. “I _will_.”

Dean didn’t know that he could, but just seeing Cas try so hard, seeing Cas so determined to take care of him this way…..that was more than he could ever have hoped for. “I know you will.” He covered Cas’ hand with his own, a soft smile on his face. “If anyone can, it’s you.”

Cas’ smile grew; he kissed Dean. “I love you.”

Dean smiled. “I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

The adoption papers came through not long before Dean’s birthday, and it was one of the best presents he could ever have imagined. He gave Ellen what was probably the biggest hug possible, and she laughed. Jo hugged him too, smiling. “You’re my brother now for real.” _That_ nearly made him cry. He had to leave the room and hide in his bedroom, sketching away at some poetry for a while. He was only half aware of what he was writing and was pretty sure that when he read it later it would be _ridiculously_ over-emotional, but he couldn’t help that.

Dean didn’t return upstairs until shortly before dinner. Ellen was cooking, her back to him. He bit his lip, nerves filling him. He wasn’t certain if he should do what he was dying to do. Then Ellen glanced over her shoulder, smiling at him, and he knew he couldn’t help it. It was destined to happen sooner or later.

“…..majka?” he said tentatively. Ellen, her back to him once again, paused in her movements, then turned to face him.

“What was that?”

He flushed bright red, glancing at the floor. “It means ‘mother’ in Croatian’,” he mumbled, his voice nervous. "I just thought that....I mean..." he was playing with the hem of his shirt, wringing it in his hands so tight it would definitely be wrinkled. "....since you're not my mom.....but you also sorta are....." He could never call her “mom”. That name was reserved for Mary and always would be. But Ellen had given him so much; she really was like a second mother to him.

Ellen could feel her heart skip a beat. She crossed the kitchen in two steps and enveloped Dean in her arms. Surprised, he simply stood there for a moment, then wrapped shaking arms around her.

“I would _love_ for you to call me that,” she whispered.

Dean felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes; he blinked them back but they were relentless, burning trails down his cheeks. “I….” he was so nervous. He couldn’t remember the last time he had said this to a parental figure, and he had debated so long whether or not he could say it to a woman, if it was a betrayal to his mother. But he realized in the end that his mother would have loved Ellen, would have been so grateful for all she had done for the boys, so happy that Dean and Sam had found someone who loved and cared for them. “…..I love you, Ellen.” 

Her grip on him tightened and she took a deep, shuddering breath; he realized she was crying as well. “I love you too, Dean.” She pulled far enough away to look at him. “I’m so very happy you and your brother are in my life.”

He managed a smile, scrubbing the tears away with the back of his hand. “Me too. I…..thanks for this. All of it.”

She was shaking her head. “You don’t have to thank me. I told you, Dean. I think of you boys as family.” Her smile grew. “And now you are. Officially.”

Dean was overflowing with happiness; he didn’t know what to say. Then he wrinkled his nose up. Something was burning. “Dinner!”

“Oh, shit!” Ellen ran for the stove; Dean followed, sniffing at the air again. It smelled familiar.

“Did you try to make my pasta sauce?” He had a homemade recipe he had created years ago but you had to be careful to stir it regularly or it could burn on the bottom. Still, the fact that Ellen had tried to duplicate it was incredibly flattering.

“Yes.” She saw his grin and glared. “Hush.”

“No.” He couldn’t stop grinning. “Want some help?”

“No.” Ellen sighed. “Yes.”

Dean laughed. “We’ll have to start from scratch. Once you burn the bottom you can’t get the taste out.”

“Goddammit.”

Dean had to stifle a laugh; he carried the pot to the sink and dumped it. “It’s okay. It won’t take too long.”

Ellen heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Okay. Teach me your ways, sensei.”

Dean burst into laughter. “Alright, young padawan. Let’s begin.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was January 24, and Dean’s birthday. He woke up with butterflies in his stomach. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a real birthday. He and Sammy had never been able to do much for each other, though he always managed to bake Sam a cake and buy him something small. But John had never been involved, so having a birthday with a real family? That was new, exciting, and nerve-wracking all at the same time.

He woke up to Ellen and Jo bringing him breakfast in bed. Apparently it was a Harvelle tradition. Cas was with him and they shared a breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, and then the two of them, Jo, and Sammy all played _Cards Against Humanities_. There were moments where the cards were a bit TOO raunchy and Dean felt guilty about letting Sam play but hey, it was a special occasion.

For lunch they ordered Chinese and Ellen had even baked him a birthday cake. Sam had decorated it which resulted in it looking like a mess, but that just made it even more fantastic. He had attempted to draw the logos of some of Dean’s favorite bands and they were barely recognizable. “I love it, Sammy.” And he did. He really did.

Sam’s face glowed at the comment. “Blow out the candles, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Hey. Watch your language.” Ellen chided.

“Better get used to it, mom,” Jo said, smile on her face. “They do that all the time.”

The cake was delicious, but when they pulled out gifts Dean felt nerves hit him. He didn’t like being singled out in general and he definitely wasn’t used to opening gifts, let alone doing it in front of people. Luckily Cas was giving him his gift later. 

Sam gave him book of Vonnegut’s stories collected, with illustrations to accompany them. It was amazing, since his copies of the books were battered after owning them for so many years and reading them so many times. Jo gave him a Led Zepplin shirt.

Then Bobby rose from his seat. “Ellen’s and my gift for you is outside.”

Dean was surprised. He couldn’t imagine what reason they had for keeping a present outside, and he hadn’t noticed anything out there. “Um….okay.” He stood, the others doing the same, and they followed Bobby outside, but what he saw there made him stop dead.

It was the Impala. THE Impala. She was beat up, as if she had been in a crash, but it was definitely the same car he and his dad used to drive. 

He couldn’t stop staring. “I…..what?”

“I was looking for an Impala for you for your birthday and I found this,” Bobby said. “Your dad crashed her and was selling her for parts. Didn’t want to sell it to me but he needed the money, so he gave in.” Bobby ran a hand along the beat up hood. “So as long as you don’t mind putting in the work on her, she’s yours.”

Dean was crying. Fuck, he was crying. “ _Thank you_.” He wanted to give Bobby a hug; even though he didn’t usually do that sort of thing, he wanted to. He doubted Bobby was one for hugging, either. But this was so incredible. Still, he definitely couldn’t help it. He found his arms around Bobby before he realized it and quickly pulled away, coughing to cover up the awkwardness. “Sorry.” 

Bobby was smiling. “It’s okay, boy.”

Then Ellen was hugging him too and he had no trouble returning this one; he knew she didn’t have any issues with hugs. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You’re more than welcome.”

Dean couldn’t believe this was happening. These people, who loved him this much. “You….” He forced back the tears, shaking his head. “You’re all wonderful.”

Bobby patted his shoulder. “You deserve it, boy.”

And just that….knowing that Bobby and Ellen thought he deserved such a thing? That meant even more to him. Knowing that this was his life? That was _amazing_. Looking around at what were his adoptive parents, his new sister, his brother and his boyfriend? They were more than he ever could have hoped for.

“Thank you all,” he said. “This was the best birthday ever.” 

But it wasn’t over yet.

Cas stayed over again that night and he _still_ had his present for Dean. He snuggled up in bed beside Dean. “So…..quite a day, huh.”

Dean flushed happily just at the thought of all that had happened. “Yea.”

“That Impala.” Cas nuzzled Dean’s throat, murmuring. “Bet we can get up to some fun in the backseat of that once it’s fixed up.”

Dean sighed happily at Cas’ touch. “Thought we already did.”

“Well, yeah. But I was more thinking I could fuck you back there.”

Dean choked. “Ah…..yea. Yea, that sounds good.”

Cas smiled. “I thought so.” He shifted closer, his legs in Dean’s lap, kissing his cheek. “I still have a present for you.”

Dean’s stomach was full of butterflies. “Yea?”

“Yeah. Well…..two presents.” Cas reached over to the bedside table to grab his bag. He tugged it onto the bed beside him and fishing around inside it, pulling out two small packages. “Here.” He offered them to Dean and took up his prior position, legs in Dean’s lap again. “Happy birthday.”

Dean took the packages with a blush and a smile. “Thank you.” He carefully opened the first. It was a key. He looked up at Cas.

“It’s the key to my house. I know it’s usually unlocked when you come over, but this way you can get in even if you come over late.”

Dean’s face lit up; he kissed Cas. “Thank you.”

Cas just nodded to the other package. “Open that one.” There was something apprehensive to his gaze. That usually meant this was going to be good. Dean tore into it and his heart stopped. 

It was a ring. On the outside it looked to be just a plain silver band but on the inside was an inscription: _To Dean~ forever yours, with love. ~Cas_.

Dean looked up at Cas, his eyes huge. Cas was bright red, having difficulty maintaining eye contact with him. “…..Cas….” His voice was merely a whisper.

“….is it…..I mean, there’s a chain in there so you can wear it around your neck. You don’t have to wear it on your hand, if that’s too much.”

But Dean was kissing him practically before he had finished speaking, breaking away breathlessly. “I love you.”

Cas blinked in surprise. “…I…..you mean you like it?”

“I LOVE it!”

Cas’ face lit up; he pulled Dean into a kiss. “I’m so glad,” he murmured. “I was so worried.”

Dean shook his head. “You didn’t have to be. This….” He slipped the ring on his right ring finger, admiring it. Cas’ entire face was aglow to see it. “This is AMAZING.”

Cas took Dean’s hand in his own, raising it to his lips and kissing it. “I’m so glad you like it.”

“I _love_ it.”

“I love YOU.” 

Dean smiled, hand taking hold of Cas’ pajama shirtfront and tugging him close. “I love you, too.”

Cas stroked Dean’s cheek with a smile, leaning in for a kiss. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Dean kissed him, lips brushing as he murmured “best birthday _ever_.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sappy sappy adoption stuff lol. In case anyone doesn't remember them hooking up in the Impala, it was after they got the results of the STD tests. They messed around in the back seat outside the doctor's office.
> 
> I chose Croatian for the language not just because it sounds nice but because for GISHWHES this year, about half our team was from Croatia. So that's a little shoutout to Nikolina and Arijana and all the rest.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyone nervous about next week's episode? I sure am, although Dean having such trust in Cas makes me all fuzzy inside. <3
> 
> I was rereading this story and 16 chapters ago I wrote that there were 8 chapters to go. Looks like SOMEONE got carried away. >.>


	34. Take Me For a Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time’s on our side  
> C’mon and take me for a ride  
> Hold my hand  
> Don’t let me be  
> I will hold you close to me.  
> ~'Take Me For a Ride', Neon Trees

“You’re doing WHAT?!”

Ellen looked at her daughter, totally non-plussed. “We’re getting married in May.”

Jo seemed at a loss for words. “….mom…..that’s four months away!”

“So?”

“Mom, you can’t plan a wedding in four months!”

Dean and Cas sat at the table with Charlie and Bela, getting great amusement from all of this. Jo was having apoplexy over the entire situation, and Dean especially found it hilarious. Jo really was attractive but she was tiny, and when she got frustrated she just looked adorable, not threatening at all.

Ellen, on the other hand, just didn’t care. “And why not? Bobby and I are old. We’ve both been married once before…..we don’t need any frills.”

Bobby had been married before? That was news to Dean. He wondered what had happened, and if it had anything to do with the way Bobby rarely smiled. He felt a pang in his chest at the thought.

Jo looked like she was about to have a coronary, mouth fishing for words that wouldn’t come. Then Bela cut in.

“I’ll do it.”

All eyes turned to her and, like the confident girl she was, she didn’t bat an eyelash under the attention. “I’ll plan the wedding. I can do it. Give you something nice with the time limit you’ve got.”

Jo looked surprised but thrilled. “Really?”

Bela nodded. “I should think so. I plan enough parties.” And it was true. Despite the mishaps that had occurred at some of them, Bela’s parties were always decorated to the height of fashion and class. She really did know what she was doing.

Jo looked sharply to her mother. “Mom?”

Ellen’s face had the resigned look of one who knows they no longer have a choice; she sighed. “Sure. Why not.”

Jo’s face flushed with happiness and she threw her arms around Bela, hugging her tight. “Thank you!” Bela blushed at the hug. Dean couldn’t help but notice the expression on Charlie’s face, a look of jealousy clouding over her normally pleasant countenance. She still had a crush on Jo; obviously seeing her hug Bela was not making Charlie very happy.

“Do you want to go to the store and pick up some bridal magazines?”

Bela laughed. “Those will all be _horribly_ over the top, but they’re a good place to look for inspiration. So we can do that if you like.”

“Can I come?” Charlie piped up. “I want to help plan, too.”

“Of course,” Bela answered.

The girls pushed back their chairs, rising. Dean caught Charlie by the arm before she could join the others in putting on their coats. 

“Charlie you have no interest in planning a wedding. The only thing you're interested in is my little sister."

The redhead had the good grace to look guilty, glancing in the direction of the other girls, and she shushed him. “Shut up, Dean,” she hissed. “What’s _that_ matter. I’m not leaving her alone with Bela. Did you see the way she _looked_ at her?”

“Who? Jo or Bela?”

“The way _Jo_ looked at _Bela!_ ”

Dean rolled his eyes. “There was nothing weird about it. She’s just happy for Bela’s help.”

“Whatever. I’m not leaving them alone together.”

Dean just shook his head. “You’re being ridiculous. But if it’ll make you feel better, go forth with determination, Bradbury.” They fistbumped, rainbow armbands meeting in the act, and then Charlie joined the other girls as they left on their trip.

Ellen heaved a sigh. “That girl is gonna be the death of me yet.”

Dean grinned. “I don’t know, Ellen. You’ve survived fourteen years.”

“And they’ve been long ones.”

“Just be glad you didn’t have boys. You could’ve had to raise Sammy.”

“What about me?” Sam asked, entering the room. His hair was an absolute mess; he really needed to cut it.

“I was telling Ellen she could’ve had the misfortune of having to raise you.”

“Hey!” Sam sounded indignant. Dean laughed.

“I’m just teasing you, Sammy.” He gave him an appraising look. “Goddamn, Sammy, you really do need a haircut.” Sam ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, smoothing it down.

“I like it long.”

“It’s more than LONG, Sammy. You’re starting to look like a member of an 80s hair band.”

Sam cocked his head, a piece of toast in his mouth. “A what?”

Dean stared. “Have I taught you nothing, Sam?” He shook his head. “I’m so ashamed.” Cas patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m sure you did your best, Dean.”

“Oh, fuck you both,” Sam grumbled.

“Hey! Language!” Dean exclaimed. Ellen looked approvingly at him.

“Maybe you should quit making fun of me then and I’ll keep my mouth clean,” Sam muttered, plopping into the seat beside Dean.

“You shouldn’t _need_ incentive. You know you’re not supposed to be dropping F-bombs.” Dean gently punched Sam’s shoulder. It took several tries at stupid faces but he finally managed to coax a smile out of the kid.

“Hey.” Bobby entered the room, stopping behind Ellen’s chair and leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. He looked up at Dean. “You ready to get to work?”

Instead of soccer practice every day after school, Dean now worked at Bobby’s garage. He missed the sport, he really did, but he truly enjoyed the job. It was especially nice to have it at the same hours as practice used to be, to fill the hours of what he’d lost with what he’d gained.

He nodded. “Ready whenever you are.”

“Can I…” Cas’ voice was timid; the other four turned to look at him and he flushed beneath their gazes. “Can I come too?”

Dean was surprised, though he supposed he shouldn’t be. It really shouldn’t be surprising that Cas would want to spend more time with him. But outside in the garage? It was cold out there in February. He looked to Bobby for permission or refusal.

Bobby gave a shrug. “S’alright by me…so long as you don’t distract the idjit.”

“Hey!”

Cas laughed, shaking his head. “I won’t. I promise I won’t. I’ll just draw.”

“Then that’s fine by me.”

And working outside with Bobby, Cas sitting nearby with his sketchbook in his lap, Dean barely even felt the cold, so warmed by the happiness their presences brought him.

 

**~*~**

 

Bela raised a brow when Dean entered the dress shop with Ellen and Jo. “What’re YOU doing here?”

“What do you MEAN what am I doing here?”

“You’re a _boy_ ,” she said the words as though they should be obvious. “What’s a boy doing dress shopping?”

“Hey!” He was indignant. “I’ll have you know I look _fantastic_ in skirts.” That got a round of laughter, and he felt hands on his shoulders as Charlie came up behind him.

“He’s not lying. Boy’s got a great pair of legs.”

He grinned at her. “Thanks, Bradbury.” He noticed a store employee standing nearby, clearly waiting for the group of them and obviously disturbed by what she was hearing. “Oh….think they’re ready for you, majka.”

“Oh, thanks hun.” Ellen moved to talk to the woman. Charlie and Bela looked inquisitively at Dean.

“Majka?” Charlie asked. Dean flushed.

“It means ‘mother’ in Croatian. I just figured, since she’s kinda my mom….should have a name for her, you know?” The two girls ‘ _awww_ ’d like it was nobody’s business, making Dean’s face turn bright red. “Oh, shut up.”

“No. It’s ADORABLE.” 

“Shut up, Charlie!”

“Hey, everyone!” They all turned at the sound of Ellen’s voice. “Dresses are this way.”

Bela led the group, a three ring binder under one arm. Inside she had all the ideas she had collected for the wedding, some of them Ellen-approved and some of which she and Jo were still trying to push on the woman. It had been half a month since Ellen had first told them the date of the wedding, and Bela and Jo had been working together nearly every day. Charlie was going positively INSANE with jealousy. No matter how many times Dean told her that Bela and Jo had no romantic interest in each other, she still wouldn’t get over it, and she made certain to spend as much time involved in the planning as she could. Dean didn’t think she even realized that by this point all of her attention was focused on Bela and not Jo, and he was PRETTY sure that it was no longer just a jealousy thing….at least not in the way it was before.

Dean plopped into an empty chair. “So, ladies….gonna model some dresses for me?”

Bela shook her head at him. “You’re lucky you have a boyfriend, Dean, or that line would have sounded like _such_ a creepy come-on.”

Dean grinned. “I aim to please.”

The attendant hustled Ellen to a dressing room, several gowns in her arms. While they waited for her to change, the group flipped through Bela’s binder, admiring the flowers, table schemes, and cakes.

The first dress was nice. The second was okay. But the third took Dean’s breath away. It had a v-neck that wasn’t cut so low as to be immodest and small cap sleeves of sheer lace. The back of the dress was sheer as well to about midback, a row of round buttons running down it. The entire gown was lacy and it had a small train. Ellen looked absolutely GORGEOUS.

Jo was in tears, which was in turn making ELLEN’S eyes well up. God, they were gonna make him cry, too. He moved to them, hugging the both of them, and kissed Ellen on the cheek. “You look gorgeous, majka.”

She smiled at him. “Thanks, baby.” Pulling back, she moved to look at herself in the mirror. “…..I really like this one.”

“I do, too.” Jo stood behind her mother, smiling as she watched Ellen admire the dress in the mirror. “Bobby will _love_ it.”

Dean laughed. “Bobby would love it even if you walked down the aisle in a paper bag. He thinks you’re gorgeous no matter WHAT you’re wearing.” He nodded. “But this one does look exceptionally good. I love this one.”

Ellen’s face was aglow from Dean’s words; she smiled at him. “Thanks, kid.”

The attendant looked at them inquisitively. “Should I begin pulling dresses for the ladies?” Ellen nodded.

“Oh man, you mean I get a free show of a _bunch_ of sexy girls parading around in gorgeous gowns?” Dean raised his brows up and down suggestively.

Jo smacked his shoulder. “Behave or I’ll tell your boyfriend.”

Dean laughed. “Like Cas would care. Hell, he’d probably join.”

“Well,” Ellen spoke up, “one’s your sister and one’s a lesbian, so I’m pretty sure you’re out of luck.” The attendant was beginning to look increasingly disturbed once again.

“Didn’t say I was gonna make a move on any of them, did I? No, now THAT Cas would care about. But a free fashion show never hurts.”

Ellen fussed over a couple more dresses before sitting beside Dean to watch the girls try on their bridesmaid (or in Jo’s case, maid of honor) gowns. Bela had pulled several different styles off the racks and despite Charlie’s grumbling (she had been loath to admit to liking ANY of Bela’s choices) they were all extremely cute. Particularly the two they had on now.

Bela had picked the dresses to compliment both Ellen’s gown and each other, but subtlety. Jo had on a knee length dress with a flowy skirt. The top was sleeveless and had a scoop neck, as well as some sheer lace, just like her mother’s.

The bridesmaid gowns were also knee length though the skirts flared more, and the top of the dress was v-neck with slim straps. However it too had lace and complimented the other dresses well.

Ellen loved both dresses and Jo was ecstatic with hers, particularly the soft, flowy skirt and the deep royal purple hue. However, they reached a stalemate after that. Bela was pushing to have the bridesmaids (herself and Charlie) dressed in black so as to make Jo and Ellen stand out more. Charlie disagreed, Dean would assume mainly to be difficult. Ellen didn’t give a damn one way or another so eventually she just cut them off right in the middle of their “discussion.”

“Alright alright! Girls, I don’t give a damn which you pick, but pick one.”

Bela looked at Charlie; the redhead stared stubbornly back. “If you really want purple, we can do purple,” she said. “But I honestly think black will look so much better. And it will look lovely with your hair.” She stroked a lock of Charlie’s brilliant red hair, letting it slip through her fingers.

Charlie stared at her with wide, surprised eyes. After a minute, she nodded. “Okay.” Her voice was very tiny. “We can do black.”

Dean couldn’t hide a smile even as Ellen sighed “thank God,” heading up front to write up the order form. And Charlie had said he was oblivious about his feelings for Cas? He was gonna have to talk to her about this.

 

**~*~**

 

Turns out he didn’t need to. When he and Cas returned home to the Harvelle’s after school several days later, it was to find Bela and Charlie making out in the kitchen.

Cas nearly fell over, tripping over the backpack he had just dropped on the floor. “OH MY GOD!”

The two girls pulled apart as if electrocuted. “Oh.” Charlie was nearly as red as her hair. “Hi, Dean. Cas.” Bela was carefully smoothing her hair into place; she smiled at the boys. Dean was finding the whole thing dreadfully amusing, particularly his boyfriend’s shock. He hadn’t realized it but he never HAD gotten around to telling Cas about the obvious sexual tension between the two girls.

“Hello.” He raised a brow at them. “Finally decided to make a move, huh? Who spoke up?"

Charlie looked shocked, obviously not expecting Dean to have known anything about it. “HUH??” 

But Bela calmly raised her hand. “I did.” Grinning, Dean punched her gently on the shoulder.

“Good for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Wait…” Cas still hadn’t fully recovered. “You mean…..you KNEW about this?”

Dean shrugged. “Kinda. I mean, it was getting pretty obvious that Charlie wasn’t jealous over Jo any longer, that she was now jealous of Bela paying attention to Jo and not her. Not sure when it happened, but it did.”

“Oh my God Dean shut up!” Seriously, could Charlie blush any more? _God_ , he was loving this.

“No.” He pointed at Bela, continuing where he had left off. “She was more discreet.”

Cas just shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t _tell_ me.”

“I’m sorry!”

Jo chose that moment to enter the kitchen. “What’re we all talking about?”

“Charlie and Bela are dating.”

The blonde took a bite out of an apple, speaking around her mouthful. “FINALLY.”

“OH MY GOD DID EVERYONE KNOW BUT ME?!?!” 

Dean burst into laughter at Cas’ tone and rubbed his back consolingly. “Don’t feel bad, hun. I’ll make it up to you later.” His voice was suggestive. Today was Valentine’s Day and that night was sure to be good.

“Normally I’d say “ug” at the image of my brother having sex,” Jo spoke up, “but you’re not my _blood_ brother. So I guess that doesn’t count.”

Everyone stared at her. Dean was vaguely perturbed. “…..you picture us having sex?”

She colored ever so slightly. “No. I mean, not on PURPOSE. But it’s come to mind once or twice.”

Dean looked to Cas. “……I feel dirty.”

“Oh, come on, it’s not like I can help what pops into my head! Besides, there are worse things I could think about. I mean it’s not like you two are unnatractive…”

“Damn straight.” The words came forth before Dean really registered that he was still in a conversation about his adopted sister thinking about him having sex. “…I mean…” He shook his head. “NO. I’ll buy you some gay porn. Just….no thinking about Cas and I!”

Her eyes lit up. “Really??”

“WHO’S buying my daughter gay porn?” Ellen entered the room, a brow arched. Dean turned white as a sheet.

“No one. Absolutely no one. I mean……Cas’ brother Gabriel offered, but we said no. Cuz he’s a jerk.”

Cas was obviously struggling to suppress his laughter, but he managed to nod. “It’s true.”

“Good. No porn for Joanna Beth.” She kissed Jo’s forehead; Jo batted her away.

“Mom! I HATE when you use my full name!”

Naturally, Ellen ignored her. “You still going out tonight?” THAT got Dean’s attention. Jo had a date?

Jo nodded. “Yes.”

“He’d better take good care of you. In fact….” Ellen looked to Dean. “…..I want Dean to meet him.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Mom, Dean already KNOWS him.”

Okay, now Dean was REALLY intrigued. “I do?”

Jo was blushing ever so slightly. “It’s Garth. Garth Fitzgerald.”

Dean didn’t know if he could be anymore shocked. “….. _Garth??_ ”

Jo looked defensive, ready to fight if Dean said anything derogatory. “Yeah. Garth.”

Ellen was looking at Dean, waiting for his stamp of approval, and he smiled, nodding. “Garth is a great guy.” He could see Ellen relax, the tension ease from her body. “He’s a little old for her,” he had to caution. “But he’d never try to force her to do anything she shouldn’t. He’s probably the sweetest person on the face of the planet. I mean that. He…” Dean had to swallow a lump in his throat. “He quit the soccer team for me when Adler kicked me off. And he’s the one who saved me when those boys were beating me up.” Dean could see both sadness and approval growing in Ellen’s face by the minute: sadness as she recalled all Dean had suffered and approval of this boy who would do so much, go so far, for a friend. “He really is amazing.”

Dean jumped as someone took his hand; he looked up to see Jo looking at him, eyes glistening. “Thank you,” she whispered. He nodded, giving her a smile.

“Well then, that’s good enough for me,” Ellen said, her voice cracking slightly as she forced back her emotion. “You just keep your phone on, and don’t be later than 11.”

Jo hugged her mom, so happy. “Thanks, mom.”

“And you.” Ellen turned to Dean. “You’ll be staying at Cas’ tonight?”

He nodded. “Yea.” The two of them would definitely be up to some activities that were not welcome under Ellen’s roof, but Chuck was always too oblivious to notice, and either way, he didn’t care that they were happening.

Ellen smiled, and something in that smile told him she knew the exact reason for their choice of location. He flushed. “You boys going out somewhere?”

He shook his head. “No. I made us dinner and Cas picked out a movie and some chocolate. We’re going to have a nice, quiet night in.” He looked to Bela and Charlie. “What about you two, new couple?”

The girls looked at each other, clearly uncertain. “Hadn’t really thought about it yet,” Bela answered. After a moment, she smiled at Charlie. “Want to come over my place? We can have some champagne and marathon the Lord of the Rings films.”

Charlie’s answering smile positively lit up her face. “You definitely know the way to my heart.”

 

**~*~**

 

Dean pushed open the door to the Novak house more hesitantly than usual. He didn’t know if Gabriel had company that night, and he DEFINITELY didn’t want to run into anything unexpected. And as a matter of fact, there was the man himself, dressed to the nines in a spectacular suit. Not only that, he had a girl on each arm, each one in a dynamite dress. _Two_ girls?

“Ah, Romeo.” Gabe smiled to see him. Dean managed a smile back, despite the unique situation he was greeted in. “Cas is upstairs as usual.” He led the girls to the door, calling over his shoulder on his way out “Tell him not to wait up for me!”

“Don’t worry,” Dean hollered, “I’ll have him so tired out he’ll be out like a light!” Gabriel’s laughter rang in the night air. Grinning, Dean shut the door and turned away, heading up the stairs to Cas’ room. What he saw when he entered made him stop dead.

Cas had decorated. There were paper hearts hanging from the ceiling, red and pink and purple. He had swapped out his bedsheets for red ones, and had somehow created a canopy over his bed, tacking black fabric to the ceiling or something so they had a gorgeous curtained canopy to lie beneath. Swaths of crimson satin draped over his windows instead of his usual curtains. He had dimmed the lighting, giving the whole room a much more romantic air.

Dean simply stared, mouth agape. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Dean?”

He somehow shook himself from this spell to focus on Cas, who was smiling that beautiful smile at him. “What do you think?” At Dean’s continued silence, Cas bit his lip. “Too cheesy?”

“…..Cas….” Dean looked around, then turned back to Cas. “If this is cheesy, I want it all the time.” He barely had a second to see the relief on Cas’ face before he was dropping his bags to the ground and throwing his arms around the boy. “This is _beautiful_.” His words were muffled into Cas’ throat. “It’s beautiful and adorable and I love it.”

Cas hand cupped the back of his head, fingers slipping into his hair. “I’m so glad.”

Dean pulled away to look around again, unable to STOP looking. “Why did you do this?”

“Well, you’re bringing dinner….I had to do SOMETHING, and art is my thing.”

Dean just shook his head. “You’re ridiculous. But I’m glad you did it. It’s gorgeous.”

Cas flushed with happiness; smiling, he asked “well, do you want to eat?”

“Oh!” Dean realized he had dropped the bag with dinner in it to the floor. “Shit!” He knelt to look in it, to make sure nothing had spilt, and sighed in relief when everything was fine. “Yea. You got plates?”

Cas nodded. “Plates, silverwear, napkins, serving utensils….wanted to have everything here so we wouldn’t have to move. I even plugged in our portable refrigerator so all the drinks and everything could stay cool.” He smiled. “If we want to, we can stay in here all night.”

“Mmm…” Dean hummed, returning to Cas, arms slipping around his neck. “Sounds good to me.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was getting late. Dean and Cas had eaten their way through half a lasagna (the first meal Dean had ever cooked for Cas, which made the brunette tear up a bit) and watched first _‘Sabrina’_ with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart and then, as they gorged on pie and chocolates (the former made by Dean, the later bought by Cas) _‘the Lion in Winter’_ , a much more unconventional Valentine’s Day film. When it finally ended, it was around 11 PM. 

Cas shut the TV off and then tossed the remote aside. “I don’t understand how you find that movie to be a love story.”

“It’s my FAVORITE love story,” Dean corrected. Cas looked at him in disbelief.

“But they HATE each other! The two of them absolutely HATE each other.”

Dean grinned. “I know.”

“So why do you think it’s a love story??”

“Because they hate each other so much, but they still love each other to the point that they can’t live without each other. He loves this other woman, yet despite that, Eleanor still comes first. Even though he hates her, she still comes before a woman that he loves. Maybe I’m screwed up, but I find that beautiful.”

Cas just stared at Dean for a long moment, then shook his head. “You’re still a weirdo.”

Dean nodded matter-of-factly. “I know.”

“Oh good, as long as you know.”

“Yup.” Dean snuggled up against Cas, nuzzling his throat. Cas let out a happy sigh. “Cas?”

“Mm?”

Dean’s voice was incredibly soft, a whisper. “I want my Valentine’s Day present.”

“Oh?” Cas looked down at Dean. “And who says you’re getting one?”

“Mmm…” Dean slid his hand down Cas’ stomach and cupped his groin, the hardness there, loving the gasp it elicited. “Your dick does.”

Cas swatted Dean. “Brat.”

“You know it.”

In a flash, Cas had rolled over and pinned Dean to the bed beneath him. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Believe me, I know that. Tell myself every day.”

The words made Cas smile and he gently stroked Dean’s cheek. “I tell myself just the reverse.”

Dean leaned in for a gentle kiss, but it didn’t stay gentle for long. Cas nipped at his lower lip, eliciting a tiny moan and Dean opened to him, letting Cas’ tongue slip past his lips to taste him. Those graceful artist’s hands found Dean’s, pressing them back against the pillow by Dean’s head and lacing their fingers together. 

“Cas.” Dean’s voice was breathy; he rolled his hips up against Cas, who bit back a moan at the feeling. Dean tugged at their hands and Cas obligingly released him. Immediately, Dean reached for Cas’ shirt, grabbing the bottom and tugging it up and off, tossing it to the floor.

In the dimmed light of the room, Cas’ skin, beautifully pale on a normal basis, positively glowed. Dean ran his hands over Cas’ stomach, up his chest, greedily taking in every inch of bared flesh. “ _God_ , Cas….you’re so fucking beautiful.”

Cas blushed at the compliment, leaning in to kiss Dean. “Hush.” Dean tried to refuse but Cas kissed him again, and again, until Dean let himself be quieted by all the kisses, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s neck and pulling him closer, content to lose himself in the embrace.

Cas, on the other hand, wanted to feel more of Dean’s flesh. He slipped a hand beneath Dean’s shirt, teasing over a nipple, and Dean gasped into his mouth. “Cas!”

Cas smiled. “Yes, Dean, what is it?”

Dean pouted. “You _know_ what.”

“Mm….do I?” And he tweaked the nipple again. Dean arched beneath the touch, moaning.

“ _Caaas_ …” 

Cas pushed Dean’s shirt higher, continuing to tease while simultaneously kissing his way along Dean’s flesh until he could replace his fingers with his mouth, tongue teasing over the hardened nub. Dean was squirming beneath him.

“Cas, _please!_ ”

Cas chuckled, pressing one last kiss to Dean’s chest before moving up so he could look Dean in the eye. Dean’s cheeks were flushed, lips red and somehow even fuller than usual from biting back his moans. Now as he saw Cas, he pouted. “Stop teasing.”

“You LOVE when I tease.”

“I’d love it _more_ if you’d hurry up and fuck me already.” Dean’s hands were in Cas’ hair, clutching handfuls; he pulled Cas down into a deep, bruising kiss. _Fuck_ , could Dean kiss. Right from the start, Cas had been amazed at how good a kisser Dean was. He wondered if those dynamite lips gave him some kind of advantage.

Somehow he brought himself to pull away, arching a brow at Dean’s sound of protest. “Hey. I can’t fuck you while you have all your clothes on.”

“Oh.” Dean looked abashed. “Good point.” He struggled to sit up, tugging his shirt up over his head and tossing it aside. “Better?”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. “ _Geez_ , Dean, you act like we haven’t fucked in a year.”

“FEELS like it.”

“…..Dean…..it’s been three days.”

“…..so?”

Cas burst into laughter. “So you’re _insatiable_.”

“Mm…” Dean slid his arms around Cas’ neck, pulling him in for a kiss as he murmured “big word.”

Cas smiled. “Get it all from you, English-man.”

“Glad I can be of some help.” Dean nipped his lip. “Pants off.”

“Yes, sir.” Cas pulled away, wriggling out of his pants and underthings, then moved to help Dean out of his, though he did that much slower, teasing all the way. As each new inch of skin was revealed, he paused to kiss it, until Dean was squirming.

“ _Cas_.” His tone was plaintive, and Cas huffed a laugh.

“Okay, okay.” He gave in and pulled the bottoms off all the way, discarding them on the floor beside the bed. “All done.”

“Good.” Dean gave a little jerk of his chin, smile on his face. “C’mere.” Cas immediately obliged, crawling atop Dean so that every inch of their bodies was pressed together. He knew it sounded cheezy, but the mood lighting really did add something. 

Dean was looking up at him with an expression he saw so often on the blonde’s face and had yet to put a name to. It was almost like……reverence. The very word filled Cas with a happiness he had never known and made him blush all over. He kissed Dean softly, then deeper when Dean tugged insistently at his hair in a silent demand for more. Without breaking the kiss, he blindly fumbled for the small bottle of lube that was sitting on the bedside table. He couldn’t seem to get his fingers on it.

Dean broke the kiss with an exaggerated sigh. “Must I do EVERYTHING myself?” But it was clear he wasn’t really mad. Still, he gave Cas a little shove, pushing him away, and scooted out from under him. Cas had no idea what he was up to, since the table (and thus the lube) was only about a foot away.

But Dean was popping the bottle open and slicking his own fingers, and then, Cas couldn’t believe his eyes, the boy was turning his back to Cas, going to his knees, one hand gripping the headboard for support.

“What…..what are you doing?” Cas could barely get the words out. Dean looked over his shoulder, a sexy little smirk on his face.

“I just said….gotta do everything myself.” And Cas felt his heart stop as Dean reached his free hand back and pressed two slick fingers into himself.

“ _Fuck_.” The word was choked out. “Goddammit, Dean.”

“Yea.” The word was a breathless sigh as Dean worked his fingers in and out of himself, stretching and prodding. _Fuck_. Cas was going to _pass out_ , he was legitimately going to pass out. This was the sexiest fucking thing he had ever seen….outside of actually fucking Dean, of course.

Then Dean must have found his prostate for he cried out, a gasping “ _oh!_ ” and his hips bucked, rocking back, that gorgeous pink hole tightening about those slim fingers.

That was more than Cas could take. In a flash he had his hands on Dean’s ass, running over the smooth flesh. Sensing Cas’ intentions, Dean stopped his ministrations. 

“You little _tease_ ,” Cas said. He knew Dean was grinning, even though he couldn’t see it. He could _feel_ it somehow. In response, he gave Dean’s ass a smack, reveling in the gasp the action elicited. “I’m going to fuck you now. Just like this.”

He didn’t miss the way Dean shuddered at that statement, miss the desire in his voice as he breathlessly answered “ _yes_.”

Cas found the lube discarded in the bedsheets and slicked his cock, wasting no time in pressing into Dean. The blonde was now holding the headboard with both hands, and he moaned at the feeling. “ _Fuck_ , Cas.”

“Yeah.” And Cas proceeded to do just that. They had never done it this way before, except for that one time on the desk, which wasn't QUITE the same; honestly they liked being able to see each other’s faces. But there was something to be said for the intense, frantic coupling that this position provided. Dean looked impossibly sexy bent over like that, his back arched, the gorgeous muscles moving beneath his skin as he took everything Cas had to give him. 

Cas reached around Dean, wrapping an arm around his chest and pulling him back so that they were pressed together, Dean’s back to Cas’ stomach. “Feel so good, baby,” he whispered in Dean’s ear, nuzzling his throat. “So Goddamn good.” He took Dean’s cock in hand, already weeping precum, and Dean whimpered, head falling back against Cas’ shoulder.

“So close,” he managed. “Fuck, Cas. Don’t stop.”

“Won’t.” He kissed along Dean’s jawline. “C’mon, baby. Come for me.” He nipped Dean’s earlobe and Dean cried out, falling forward, one hand catching himself against the wall. That position again, bent forward, allowed Cas to go deeper, and it only took a few more thrusts, a few more jerks of Dean’s cock, before the boy was coming, pounding a fist against the wall. _God_ , he was a sight to see, and though Cas tried to hold back, to prolong the experience, he couldn’t, not with Dean feeling and looking so damn good.

When it was done, he realized he was nuzzling a path along Dean’s spine, and huffed a laugh. “Sorry.”

“Why?” Dean’s voice was muffled against his arm; he was still leaning against the wall.

“I bet you wanna sit down.” Cas did too, now that he thought about it. Arms around Dean’s waist, he leaned back, flopping down on his back on the bed and taking Dean with him.

Dean laughed, surprised and delighted at the sudden relocation, despite the fact that he had landed rather uncomfortably directly on top of Cas. “Dork.” He shifted to a more comfortable position beside Cas, head upon his chest. 

“Yup.” Cas took a deep breath (it was unsurprisingly hard after the workout they had just gotten) and then heaved a sigh. “FUCK.”

Dean looked curiously up at him. “What?”

“That was fucking HOT.”

Dean burst out laughing. “You think?”

“I _know_.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe you fucking fingered yourself.”

Dean blushed bright red, averting his eyes. “Yea….that.”

“Dean….that was one of sexiest Goddamn things I’ve seen in my entire life.”

Dean’s gaze snapped back up to look at Cas, surprised. “Really?”

Cas nodded. “Most definitely. I mean….. _FUCK_.”

Dean was clearly pleased by this. “ _Awesome_.” Cas laughed.

“ _Such_ a dork.”

“Shut up.” The smile on Dean’s face was adorable. Cas couldn’t help but kiss him. “And you liked that position?”

“Well, I like seeing your face better. But there is DEFINITELY something to be said for that kind of wild sex.”

“Oh good.” Dean was grinning. “I’m glad we agree.”

“Mmm.” Cas kissed Dean, smiling. “We most definitely do.”

Smiling, Dean gave Cas a soft, lingering kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Cas smiled back. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Charlie's dorky uninhibited self wormed her way past Bela's uptight defenses and there is LOVE! I'm probably going to write a little epilogue to this chapter which shows when they actually hook up. We'll see.  
> When the wedding chapter is posted I will link you a photo album of all the dresses and the cake and everything.  
> If you're on tumblr or in any facebook groups for Destiel, please promote this story! I'd love to get more people reading!
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> PS- 'the Lion in Winter' literally IS my favorite film of all time and something that I do love as a love story and everyone else finds that fucked up haha. And 'Sabrina' is utterly ADORABLE. Just do not watch the remake with Harrison Ford. Bogart and Hepburn are the only way to go.


	35. Chapter 35 Epilogue: Bela & Charlie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long till your surrender to me?  
> I've become your shadow  
> I love, but don't know how to  
> I'm always lost for words  
> You look like a thousand suns  
> I wanna be the only one  
> ~'Your Surrender', Neon Trees

The dresses came in on Valentine’s Day. Jo was in her bedroom, Ellen and Bobby out shopping. The only ones there to receive the dresses were Charlie and Bela. They had been at the Harvelle house most days to work on wedding plans and had gotten there first thing after school. Still, the boys hadn’t gotten home yet and everyone else had yet to join them.

Bela was out of her chair in a flash and at the door to sign for the garments. Charlie just watched her go, that bundle of energy, and in minutes she was back, the dresses in her arms and a brilliant smile on her face. “They’re here!”

Charlie nodded. “I see that.” 

Bela looked down at the gowns in her arms. “….I should hang them up.” She moved to the hall closet. It was the closest one, and she didn’t want to go into Ellen’s room without permission. This would do for now. She looked through the gowns, slowly going through them one by one: Ellen’s gorgeous lace dress, the black bridesmaid gowns, and the purple maid of honor dress. She brushed her fingers over the outside of the plastic, tracing the purple fabric. “Jo’s going to look _adorable_ in this.”

That was it. Charlie’s temper flared up. “What IS it with you and Jo?!”

Bela looked at Charlie, her pretty face filled with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“You know EXACTLY what I mean. Why don’t you just ask her out already.” Charlie was scowling now.

If Bela had looked surprised before, now she was absolutely shocked. “….ask her……you…..you really think…..Jo and me?”

“It’s completely obvious how you feel about her!” Charlie turned away, arms folded across her chest.

Bela was silent and for a minute Charlie felt a stirring of nervousness, worried she had pissed the other girl off. Then, unbelievably, Bela began to laugh. Charlie turned to face her, surprise on her face. Then, she got irritated.

“What the hell is so funny?”

Bela’s laughter died down; she shook her head. “I don’t like Jo. Not in that way.”

Charlie was completely taken aback. “No?”

Another shake of the head. “No.” She twirled a lock of hair between her fingers with the slightest hint of….was that anxiety? “I have rather someone else in mind.”

Charlie stared. She had no idea what Bela was talking about, who she meant. But then she saw those eyes. Those beautiful, cat-like green eyes were narrowed, focused on Charlie in a very intense way, as if willing her to understand, and realization hit Charlie like a bus. It was her. Bela liked _her_.

She stared, her eyes wide, mouth agape. “….I….” She didn’t know what to say. All this time she had been after Jo, and now to be greeted with _this?_ She looked at Bela. For the first time in all the time she had ever known the girl, Bela looked nervous. It was bizarre and unsettling. Charlie was at a loss.

Then she thought back to the first day she had met Bela. Everyone at the table had hated Charlie, had been so rude to her…..everyone but Bela. And even though they had been so different, Bela so cultured and disciplined and Charlie so wild and with no rules at all, they had gotten along and slowly but surely become good friends. And as they worked together on this wedding, even though they fought together, they had grown closer. And as Charlie thought about it, really thought about it, it had been Bela all along. It had _always_ been Bela.

The green-eyed girl was still watching her somewhat nervously. Then, unbelievably, Bela made the first move, reaching for Charlie, a graceful hand gently stroking Charlie's cheek. Charlie stared at Bela, completely shocked at this turn of events, but one look at those beautiful eyes, that somewhat hesitant smile, and she couldn't help but smile in return. That clinched it. All trace of nerves vanished from Bela's face and she pressed forward, claiming Charlie's lips in a determined kiss. 

When they pulled apart, Bela looked at Charlie with apprehensive eyes, still a bit unsure how it would go over, but she needn’t have worried. Charlie’s entire face was aglow, and Bela couldn’t help but mirror the look with a matching smile.

“So….we’re on the same page?” Bela’s voice still had a hint of uncertainty to it. Charlie simply smiled, nodding, and ran her fingers through Bela’s hair, twirling a lock between her fingers.

“Definitely.” She gently tugged on the lock of brown hair, and grinned. “So…..can we make out some more now?”

Bela laughed, leaning in to softly rest her forehead against Charlie’s. “Definitely.”

 

**~*~**

 

They had gone through a whole bottle of champagne together, and were at the end of _‘the Return of the King’_. Charlie had recited half the dialogue of all three movies, most of the time not even realizing she was doing it. Now and then she would realize and would turn bright red, looking to Bela with an abashed expression, softly whispering “sorry”. But generally Bela just sat back and muffled her laughter behind one hand. She found the whole thing dreadfully cute.

The film ended and Bela shut the TV off. Silence fell in the room, neither girl knowing what to say. “So,” Bela spoke up at last. 

“So,” Charlie echoed.

“Do you…..want to spend the night?”

Charlie’s head snapped about and she stared at Bela, who was blushing furiously. _God_ , was that adorable. “You mean it?”

Bela nodded. “I mean…if you want.” The two hadn’t done much more that night….no more making out like they had in the Harvelle’s kitchen….just a few kisses here and there. Charlie didn’t know what this offer would include but she was interested either way. She nodded, a smile on her face.

“I’d love to.”

Bela’s face broke into a smile. “Wonderful.” Rising, she offered her hand to Charlie, who took it. “Bedroom’s this way.” The words alone made her blush. All of it was amusing Charlie to no end; Bela looked so damn cute. Charlie followed her down the hall, butterflies in her stomach.

God, Bela’s room was _huge_. It was all decorated in shades of blue….mostly pale ones, though the bedsheets were deep, royal blue. And good Lord, the bed. It was positively _enormous_. Charlie couldn’t wait for a chance to get Bela in that bed, to get Bela beneath her…..oh no, there went the butterflies again.

But when they were finally in bed, Charlie wasn’t sure what move to make, what move would be accepted. She didn’t want to come on too strong. She leaned in, giving Bela a tiny kiss, and Bela caught hold of her, tugging her closer for a deeper one. Charlie complied, half pinning Bela to the mattress. When they separated, she gently stroked Bela’s cheek. Those green eyes looked up at her with a mixture of desire and nervousness. 

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” she confessed.

Charlie looked inquisitively at her. “Never been with a girl?” Bela looked down, nodding. “Hey.” She cupped Bela’s chin and Bela looked at her again; Charlie smiled softly at her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Bela’s face dissolved into another of those soft, gorgeous smiles. “Okay,” she said, one hand winding its way into those brilliant red locks. “Then kiss me.”

So Charlie did.

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, the epilogue to chapter 35, the story of how Bela and Charlie hooked up. I hope you enjoyed it!


	36. The Way I Am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.  
> And you take me the way I am.  
> ~'The Way I Am', Ingred Michaelson

“You want me to do _what?_ ”

Bobby just smiled. “Be my best man.”

Dean stared, aghast. “I….. _really?_ ”

“Really.” The look of shock on Dean’s face made Bobby chuckle. “Shut your mouth, boy, you’re gonna catch flies.”

Dean’s mouth closed with a snap. “I’m sorry, I just…..you really want _me?_ I mean what about your friends? What about Rufus?” He’d only met the man once and he was a crochety bugger, but he was Bobby’s best and oldest friend, whereas Dean….. “I’m just a kid.”

Bobby nodded. “A great kid. Best I’ve ever met. And once Ellen and I are married, you’re going to be my son.”

Dean felt his heart sink. “Oh…..so this is an obligation thing.”

Bobby sighed. “No. No it’s not. I’m asking you because I honestly can’t think of a better person to be my best man, or my son.” Dean felt his heart skip a beat at that, but Bobby wasn’t finished. “You may not be mine by blood, but I’ll be damn proud to call you my son.”

Dean stared at Bobby, eyes wide. Ellen had said similar things but she was naturally free with her emotions. Bobby wasn’t. To have Bobby say such a thing? He felt tears burning his eyes and blinked them back. “I…..thanks,” he managed.

“No need,” Bobby answered. “It’s all true.”

Dean couldn’t take it anymore; he was going to start crying for real in a minute. “No chick flick moments,” he said, averting his gaze. His eyes swam with tears as he stared at the floor, and he jumped in shock when he felt arms wrap around him. Bobby had clearly seen right through Dean’s bluster and pulled him close, hugging him tight.

“It’s okay, Dean,” he murmured. “It’s okay.”

Dean couldn’t remember the last time his father had hugged him. Having Bobby hold him close, comfort him like this….he was done for, clinging to Bobby as the tears fell down.

“So what do you say?” Bobby rubbed his back reassuringly. “Be my best man?”

Dean managed a nod, a little watery laugh. “Yea.”

 

**~*~**

 

Cas’ house really was the best place to go for snacks. Gabriel always did the shopping. This meant that the house was always chock full of amazing things to eat.

Dean was sitting on the table, a bowl full of ice cream in hand, nearly finished. Cas had already finished his, sitting in a chair nearby and absentmindedly stroking Dean’s leg. He always wanted to maintain contact with Dean. His sketchbook was on the table, flipped open to the picture of Dean in the panties. Cas had been looking through the book….he loved looking at the pictures of Dean, and this one was a damn good one to look at.

Chuck padded softly into the room in his bathrobe. “Hello, boys.” Wow. He seemed more coherent than usual.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hello, Mr. Novak.”

“Chuck,” he corrected. “Call me Chuck.”

“Okay.” That made Dean smile. “Chuck.”

Chuck poured himself another cup of coffee. “What’re you boys up to?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. Just having some ice cream.” By the time he realized his sketchbook was open it was too late; Chuck had reached the table and was picking it up, looking at the drawing.

Dean and Cas both felt panic strike them as Chuck’s eyes ran over the picture, taking it all in. Cas had said as he drew that he wasn't going to draw Dean's hard-on but he had quickly changed his mind and there it was, clear for all to see, Dean's cock straining against the fabric of those already far too-tight panties. He looked gorgeous, but it wasn't something Cas had _ever_ wanted his dad to see.

Cas waited for the hammer to fall. Finally Chuck spoke. “You drew this?”

“Yes,” Cas answered cautiously.

“Of Dean?”

“Yes.”

There was a long pause. “Would you two like to do the cover art for my book?”

Cas couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “What?” he asked weakly.

“You heard me.” Chuck looked up from the notepad. “I want you to do the cover art for my new book. Using Dean as your model.”

Cas looked at Dean. The blonde appeared as shocked as Cas felt. “….I….” He looked back at his father. “….. _really?_ ”

Chuck nodded. “Really.”

Cas looked at Dean again, inquisitively this time. Dean still seemed as if he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t understand why Chuck wanted them to do this and wasn’t bothered by the subject matter of the drawing he was currently holding. But he shrugged as if to say ‘why not?’ Cas turned to his father. “Okay.”

“Great!” Chuck said brightly, and he really did sound happy. “Do you have a bit of time now? We can discuss the book and what I’m looking for in the cover.”

“Uh….” Cas glanced at Dean again; this was all too surreal. “Sure.”

“Fantastic.” Chuck turned towards his study, gesturing for the boys to come with him. “Let’s go.”

Dean shrugged at Cas, still at a complete loss and, totally bewildered, they followed Chuck into his study. Hey, at least he wasn’t yelling at them for drawing kinky pictures.

 

**~*~**

 

The wedding day came far faster than anyone expected. The girls looked absolutely _gorgeous_. Bela really had been right about the black dresses offsetting Jo’s purple one; it made for a lovely contrast. They were waiting in the back of the church, fluttering around in excitement. Cas was beside them, waiting to walk Bela and Charlie down the aisle. Since Ellen’s father was gone, Jo would be standing in for him and escorting her mother.

Bobby was waiting at the front of the church. To most people he would look completely calm, but Dean could see the nerves running through him. He nudged Bobby’s shoulder with his own. “Hey. Calm down.”

“I’m calm!” Bobby half growled the answer, which only made Dean grin.

“Oh yea, I see that.” The look he got in return only made him smile more. “You’ve got no reason to worry. You two love each other and there’s no way she’s leaving you at the altar.”

Bobby frowned. “Hadn’t even thought of that.”

Dean snorted. “I said she WASN’T gonna do that. Calm down.”

At that moment the music started up, Bobby’s eyes widening in something akin to fear. Dean squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Then the doors opened and everything began.

Cas entered, a girl on each arm. The girls were beautiful, Charlie’s red hair contrasting beautifully with the black dress, Bela’s hair in an elegant upsweep. But Dean barely noticed either of them when he saw Cas in his tux. He had a purple vest and tie on that were chosen to flatter Jo’s dress and the rest of the wedding theme that Bela had picked out, and fuck was he gorgeous. The color changed something in his eyes, made them look a deeper blue than usual, and it was lovely. He smiled, and that smile was all for Dean. 

Dean was smiling back and he knew he looked goofy as hell but he couldn’t bring himself to stop; it may have been Ellen and Bobby’s wedding but it was still a wedding and Cas in a tux, and that brought all sorts of thoughts to mind, feelings running through him, distracting him, and he had to shake himself to return to the here and now, because here came Ellen.

It was such a horrible cliché but his breath caught when he saw her. She really had made the right decision with that dress. The v-neck was just low enough to be flattering without being too sexy for her age, and she wore a beautiful pearl necklace with it-- her “something borrowed”, on loan from Bela. Her hair was swept up in a chic French twist. She looked absolutely _amazing_. Dean glanced at Bobby. His eyes were suspiciously glassy, and he looked happier than Dean had ever seen him. The smile on Ellen’s face corresponded. Dean’s heart pounded with joy, so happy for the two of them. When Ellen joined Bobby at the altar and the two looked into each other’s eyes, the love there was so great, Dean almost couldn’t stand it. He glanced at Cas. The boy seemed to sense his gaze and looked to him, smiling. Dean’s cheeks grew warm. He wondered if Cas was thinking what he was thinking…..if they had a future like this.

He turned his attention back to Ellen and Bobby….his majka and dad….and watching them pledge their eternal love to one another, his heart filled with joy for the two of them.

 

**~*~**

 

The tables looked FANTASTIC. Dean had no idea how Bela had done it. He had helped set them up so he had already seen what they looked like, but she was the one who had put the entire design scheme together. 

The tablecloths were white, with royal purple napkins. For centerpieces there were vases with tiny purple flowers. Ellen didn’t want anything elaborate so Bela hadn’t done bouquets, just the single, small purple blossoms. There were white candles scattered here and there, but overall it was a simple if elegant design, and it was positively lovely.

Each table had something else on it…..something of Charlie’s invention. It was an “I Spy”. It had a list of things to locate at the wedding, to take photos of, like a picture of everyone at your table, or a cute older couple. She had thought it would be fun and luckily, it hadn’t taken much pestering on her and Jo’s part before Ellen acquiesced.

When it was time for Ellen and Bobby’s first dance, Dean waited curiously. He had been wondering what the two would choose for a song. Bobby never seemed like the sentimental type and wedding songs were, as a rule, sappy as hell. But the first notes started up and Dean couldn’t help but laugh. It was Ingred Michaelson’s ‘ _The Way I Am_ ’

_If you were falling, then I would catch you._  
_You need a light, I’d find a match._  
_Cause I love the way you say good morning._  
_And you take me the way I am._

Bobby was gazing deep into Ellen’s eyes, looking at her as if she were his entire world, and Dean supposed she was. He wondered if that was the way he looked at Cas. He imagined that it was. And he realized at that moment that that was _exactly_ how Cas looked at him. He felt warmth fill him and glanced at Cas. Sensing his gaze, the other boy looked to him and smiled. Dean flushed happily.

_I’ll buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair._  
_Sew on patches to all you tear._  
_Cause I love you more than I could ever promise._  
_And you take me the way I am._

Ellen’s smile was brilliant, lighting up her face. She stroked Bobby’s cheek as the last notes of the song played, and Dean wiped the tears from his cheeks. Cas noticed and smiled, but he was nice enough not to say anything.

So now Dean was seated at a table with Bela, Charlie, Jo, Garth (Jo’s date), Sam and his friend (girlfriend? Sam hadn’t shared that information yet) Sarah, and Cas. Dean was feeling _insanely_ nervous about making a best man speech. He had been panicking about it ever since Bobby had asked him to fill the position, and Cas had been assuring him for days that it would be fine, pointing out what a great writer he was, but it hadn’t stopped Dean from freaking out.

When the moment came after Jo had finished her speech for her mom, Dean’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. He rose on shaking legs, champagne glass in hand. “Bobby,” he managed, voice cracking. He cleared his throat. “I’d ask what can you say about Bobby, but the question is more what CAN’T you say about Bobby.” There was a round of chuckles and he relaxed somewhat, though his heart was still pounding. “There’s a lot of things you can say…..a lot of stuff you can tease him about. But there’s nothing I _want_ to tease him about.” His voice had grown soft. “Ever since I met Bobby, he’s been nothing but amazing to me. Many of you probably know by now but I haven’t had the best life, and Bobby….” He had to swallow again to clear his throat. “Bobby was there for me right from the start. He took care of me in a way my own dad never did. When I first met him he didn’t talk much and was really brash, and even as I got to know him it took a bit to get a read on his emotions….” He looked at Bobby for the first time since he started speaking. “You don’t show your hand much,” the words were spoken directly to Bobby. “All your emotion reads in your voice, not your face. But despite all that, you took me under your wing, and you made me feel like I was….someone worthwhile. And that…..that’s everything. That takes a really amazing person. And even if something happened this afternoon, and I never saw you again after today, I wouldn’t forget you, just for everything you’ve done for me. You’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. And I’m sure I’m not the only person whose life you’ve touched this way.” He raised his glass. “To Bobby Singer.”

“To Bobby,” people echoed, smiling. Dean was surprised to see the expression on Bobby’s face. He was smiling but clearly holding back tears; he toasted Dean with his glass. Dean responded in kind with a smile, and they all drank.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Cas whispered when Dean sat beside him.

“Oh, shush,” Dean said good-naturedly.

“No. You were wonderful.” He kissed Dean on the cheek. And no, it hadn’t been as bad as Dean had thought, but he was relieved it was over. Food was coming out now, people chattering as they began to eat. Charlie was holding Bela’s hand, playing with a lock of her soft brown hair. They really were cute as hell. 

Dean looked at Ellen and Bobby. The two of them were 100% focused on each other, completely oblivious to everything around them. It was adorable.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Mm?”

Cas sounded hesitant. “Do you……would you ever want to get married?”

Dean’s head snapped around to look at Cas with wide eyes. “I….what.....to you?" 

Cas rolled his eyes. "No, to that random old lady over there. YES, to me." 

Dean just stared, wide-eyed, for so long that Cas began to get fidgety. "Are you kidding me, Cas? Of COURSE I want to!" 

Cas' face melted into a smile. "Yeah?" 

"Yea." Dean's smile grew cheeky. "I'm already picking out wallpaper and china patterns." 

Cas burst out laughing. "Oh yeah?" But now Dean was blushing. 

".....maybe a little bit." 

Cas stared. ".....you aren't." 

Dean’s cheeks were bright pink; he was fiddling with the silverware, avoiding Cas’ gaze. "Well no, not to that degree. But I HAVE thought about it. Us having a house together, and what it might look like. The yard...." there was a long pause, and the next word was so quiet as to be nearly inaudible. ".....kids..." 

Cas couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Did you say kids? You wanna have _kids_ with me?"

"I.....no." Dean's voice had gotten defensive. "I didn't....I just..."

But then Cas was kissing him, a smile on his face, Charlie shouting "hey, leave the kissing to the bride and groom!" Cas chuckled, pressing their foreheads together. "Kids, huh?" he said softly.

Dean's eyes were narrowed, calculating. Cas hadn't freaked out yet. That was a good sign. "......yea...?" 

Cas smiled. "I'd _love_ that.'"

Dean felt so warm and gooey inside. Cas wanted to marry him. Not just _marry_ him….have _kids_ with him. Have a life and a family together.

Cas smiled at him, then bit his lip. "Is it silly that we're talking about getting married and having kids together when we've only been dating for 8 months?" he asked hesitantly.

Dean didn't take even a moment to think about it, simply smiling at Cas. "I don't know. All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Whatever that entails.....I'm in."

Cas smiled. "All in?"

Dean laughed as Cas echoed Dean’s words from that infamous soccer game. "All in."

 

**~*~**

 

Dean’s nerves fluttered up yet again when it was time to cut the cake. He had baked it, per both Ellen AND Bobby’s request……per the request of the entire group, actually, though it was really only the bride and groom who mattered in this case. And while he made a badass cake, if he did say so himself, he had never made a _wedding_ cake….never made a cake for so many, or for people so special to him.

But he had Cas by his side….in more ways than one. Cas had put his artistic talents to use and decorated the cake….something that HE had never done before. Dean glanced at Cas, and he actually looked pretty nervous. Dean took his hand and Cas jumped ever so slightly. Dean smiled reassuringly at him. “It’s okay, hun,” he whispered. “You did a gorgeous job.”

Cas smiled. “Thanks, baby.”

And it was true. The cake was frosted a light purple and decorated with white flowers delicately drawn on. It was absolutely lovely. Dean had no idea how Cas had done it, considering he had never decorated a cake before. He leaned in to whisper in Castiel’s ear. “Seriously, hun, if you’re ever looking for a second career after art, I think you’d be a bang-up cake decorator.” Cas smacked his arm and he laughed. “I’m serious!”

It was at that moment that the cake reached the front of the room, and Ellen gasped. “Castiel! It’s GORGEOUS! You really did this?”

Cas’ face was neon red; he nodded. Ellen smiled. “It’s beautiful, Cas. Thank you.”

Dean was grinning at Cas’ embarrassment; Cas mumbled “shut up.” But then it was Dean’s turn as they cut into the cake and everyone began exclaiming over the taste. Cas poked at him and Dean smacked his hand, his own face red now. 

“So obnoxious.”

“Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it.” Cas watched them hand out slices of cake and a thought occurred to him. He looked to Dean, grinning. “Hey.” Dean looked at him inquisitively. “At our wedding would we need to have pie instead of cake?” He half expected Dean to flush with embarrassment but no; Dean’s face lit up.

“Oh man, _can_ we?”

Cas burst out laughing. “Sure. When we get married, pie it is.” A piece of cake was set before each of them. Cas looked at his, then cut a forkful and lifted it and held it out for Dean to eat. With a smile, Dean accepted, letting Cas feed him. Then, in response, he picked up a piece of his own cake and shoved it in Cas’ face. “ _HEY!_ ”

Cas heard laughter from around the table. Wiping frosting out of his eyes, he looked around with a glower. “Thanks a lot, guys. I’m glad you appreciate my pain.”

“It’s not that,” Charlie managed through her laughter. “It’s just…..the way you fed him and then him…shoving the cake in your face……it was just like a wedding.”

Dean and Cas looked at each other, confused, then back at the others. “What?”

“You know. A couple at a wedding. One does the cake properly and the other fucks it all up.” Sam was grinning. “Told you you guys are married.”

For some reason, that made Dean blush like mad, and looking at Cas, he saw the other boy was in much the same boat. “Married, huh,” he asked.

“Married,” Cas affirmed. Then he found Dean’s hand beneath the table and gave it a gentle squeeze and Dean knew, despite the teasing and all the moments that day where he had been singled out and felt awkward, there was nowhere else he would rather be.

 

**~*~**

 

It wasn’t long until the reception ended. Ellen and Bobby were really the most adorable couple, and “adorable” was not a word one would EVER associate with Bobby Singer. But now, after the toasts and the cake and the dancing, they had finally settled and were sitting for a minute, and Dean thought it was as good a moment as any to give them their gift.

He looked to his brother. “Sammy? I think it’s time.” Sam nodded, and Dean headed to the coat room where he had hidden the box, rejoining his brother. Together, they headed to the front table to see Bobby and Ellen, who looked surprised to see them there with a box.

“Hey, boys.” Ellen was looking curiously at the box in Dean’s hands. “What’s up?”

Dean held out the box. “We’ve got something for you.”

Ellen’s face had taken on a wary expression. “Boys…..did you buy this with that money you told me about?”

Shortly after Christmas, Dean had told Ellen all about the money he had been saving up over the years to send Sammy to college. He had tried to give it to her in thanks for all she had done for them, but she had refused, had told him to use it to get themselves something nice.

Dean hesitated, but nodded. “Yes. We did.” He could see her about to object so he barreled on. “But that doesn’t matter. We want to give you guys something. So just…..” He held it out. “Please.”

She took it and he felt his heart skip; he exchanged smiles with Sam. Still there was that little twinge of nervousness, anxiety, hoping they would like it.

Ellen opened the box to reveal a new set of bedding—sheets, pillowcases, comforter. It was mostly deep blue, with the comforter a swirling pattern in various shades of blue. Ellen liked purple (hence the wedding’s color scheme) but the boys thought they should do something a bit "manlier", for Bobby. So they figured blue was a nice compromise. Ellen looked up at them, her eyes wide. Dean smiled.

“We thought you two should have some new ones to start off your new life together.”

Ellen looked so incredibly touched. “Boys…..” She shook her head. “This is much too expensive.” 

"But do you like it?" Dean pressed.

Ellen looked at the gift and her answer was clear before she gave it, written in her eyes and all over her face. "I LOVE it."

"Well then its worth it."

Even Bobby was smiling, which surprised Dean. He hadn’t thought Bobby would be one to get sentimental over a gift. Maybe he was just happy that Ellen was happy. Either way, that smile made Dean happy to see. “Thanks, boys.”

“You’re welcome.” He looked at them….his majka and new dad…..and was overcome with how lucky he was, how _happy_ he was. He blushed. “Come on, Sammy.” He tugged on Sam’s arm, heading back to their table where Cas was waiting, smiling knowingly at the sight of that blush.

 

**~*~**

 

It was dark outside by the time Bobby and Ellen left. Sam and Charlie had snuck outside during the reception and tied the clichéd cans to the bumper of the car, and they hollered and waved goodbye as Bobby and Ellen drove off into the night, the cans rattling behind them.

Dean smiled as he watched them go. They were headed off to the Dominican, or ‘hedonism’, as Dean had teased. They would be gone for a week and had put Dean in charge, a fact he had taken great pleasure in lording over Sam and Jo.

He felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder and turned to see those blue eyes smiling at him. “You ready to head home?” Cas asked. Dean nodded. “I’ll go get our coats.”

With Cas gone, Dean stared up into the night sky. The stars were out in full force that night, and it was gorgeous. He couldn’t help but think back to the ceremony and how beautiful it was. Then his mind wandered to the reception, and Cas asking if he’d ever want to get married….

Dean looked down at his right hand and the silver band on his ring finger, the ring that Cas had given him. He pulled it off and hesitantly slid it onto his left ring finger, holding his hand out to admire it. He had to say, he _really_ liked the way it looked.

“Whatcha up to?”

The voice was right in his ear and Dean practically jumped out of his skin, whirling around to see Cas there, smiling at him. It was damn obvious he knew exactly what Dean had been doing. “…I…” He nervously fiddled with the ring, twisting it on his finger, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Cas, whose smile only grew; he reached out and took Dean’s left hand in his.

“You like it this way? On your left hand like this?”

Dean’s face was burning, but Cas’ reaction wasn’t a bad one. “….yes,” he answered cautiously.

Cas raised Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles, lips brushing the ring. “I do, too.”

A smile broke across Dean’s face; he pulled Cas into a deep kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Dean’s hand still in his, Cas toyed with the ring. “Someday, you’ll have a real one of these…..one really meant for your left hand.”

Dean’s heart was pounding; he didn’t know how he hadn’t passed out from so much happiness. “This one’s good enough for me.” And it was. He didn’t need another ring; he would marry Cas with just this one.

Cas’ face was aglow with joy; he kissed Dean again. “Let’s go home, baby.”

Dean nodded. “Okay.” He looked around and hollered “Sammy? You coming?”

There was a somewhat aggravated response from Sam, who clearly wasn’t happy with the nickname, and Dean and Cas both laughed, snuggling close as they waited. Dean looked once more down at the silver band on his left hand and wondered how someone else’s wedding could bring him so much happiness.

He realized Cas was watching him and he looked up. “What.”

Cas smiled. “Whatcha thinking bout?”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing. Just that I’m one lucky son of a bitch.”

Cas chuckled. “Funny.” He stroked Dean’s cheek. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”

Smiling, Dean leaned in, Cas meeting him halfway for a gentle kiss, but they were interrupted by a gagging sound.

“ _God_ , do you guys ever stop?” Dean pulled away to see Sam giving him one of those looks. “You said it was time to leave so I come over here only to find you two making out?”

“Hey, Ellen and Bobby are gone all week, Sammy.” Dean headed to the car, Cas at his side. Sam’s brow furrowed.

“So?”

Dean unlocked the car door, pausing just long enough to look up at Sam with a wicked grin. “It means Cas and I get to have as much sex as we want and _you_ have to put up with it.”

Sam’s cry of disgusted indignation was only matched in volume by Cas’ laughter. Dean grinned as he revved the engine, the car roaring to life. Oh yeah. This was going to be a fun week.

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the notes. They all really helped. I mean that. I only posted a day later than usual because today was my aunt's funeral and I could REALLY use some notes to improve my day. So please, leave me a review.
> 
> This is the first time I haven't used 'Neon Trees' for the title and lyrics! Impressed? I probably won't for the rest of the chapters.
> 
> The story is fully written. There's three chapters left and then the epilogue. So little! 
> 
> Here's the link to the album containing photos of all the bridal clothes and stuff:  
> http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/library/Ellen%20and%20Bobbys%20Wedding
> 
> Love you all.
> 
> <3


	37. Be My Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re on top of the world now, darling, so don’t let go.  
> Can I call you mine? So can I call you mine now, darling, for a whole lifetime?  
> My heart finally trusts my mind, and I know somehow its right.  
> ~'Be My Forever', Christina Perri
> 
> ***GUYS! READ THE NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!! IMPORTANT STUFF!!**

“Dean, stop fidgeting.”

“I can’t help it.” Dean tugged uncomfortably at his bowtie. “I look like a penguin.”

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle. “You do not. You look like some kind of secret agent. 007. Only sexier.”

Dean arched a brow. “Oh yea?”

Cas nodded, stepping closer to adjust Dean’s bowtie, which he had knocked all askew. “Yeah.”

Dean smiled. “I guess I can work with that.” He shifted awkwardly, muttering “everyone keeps staring at me.”

Cas smiled. “That’s cuz they recognize you as the sexy man on the cover of the book.” 

Dean blushed. “Shut up,” he mumbled.

“No.” Cas moved behind Dean, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder so he could look at the blown up photo of his father’s book cover. The latest book by Carver Edlund, already top of the New York Times best seller list, _‘Subtext’_ , and there on the cover was a beautiful young man, unmistakably inspired by Dean. 

“You made me look way too good. Better than I do in real life.”

“Don’t be silly.” Cas kissed his cheek, feeling the hot blush against his lips. “I drew you exactly as you are.”

Dean smiled. “Except for the wings.”

Cas chuckled. “Except for the wings,” he agreed.

Dean cocked his head, considering. “I like that they’re black. It’s different.”

Chuck Novak chose that moment to come up to them. “Hey, boys.”

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey, Chuck.” Dean smiled. “Congratulations on the book. It’s doing really well.”

“Thanks, Dean.” This was actually the most awake Dean had ever seen Chuck. Before now he had always seen Chuck while he was in between bouts of writing and thus totally spaced out. Tonight his eyes were completely clear, his smile bright. “Thank you for posing for the cover.”

Dean blushed. “You’re welcome.” He was still having difficulty looking at that drawing. And the fact that thousands of people were going to see it? They wouldn’t know it was him, but that didn’t change the fact that it WAS and that made something inside him squirm, made him blush like crazy.

Chuck was contemplating the coverwork and it was as if something occurred to him now. "Castiel, that other drawing you did. The one of Dean in panties."

Both boys immediately turned crimson. Chuck hadn't said anything about that and it had been _months_. They had assumed he had either not noticed the panties in his general writing stupor or, after all this time, had forgotten them, but clearly that wasn't the case. 

"I..." Cas' throat was dry; he cleared it. "Yes?"

His father turned to him. "You boys are being safe?" 

Cas could feel his face burning; he heard a tiny noise of embarrassment coming from Dean. “Yes, dad."

Chuck nodded, satisfied. "Okay, then." A smile crossed his face, a hint of a smirk to it. "And here I always pegged _Gabriel_ for the kinky one..."

This time the noise Dean let out was one of distressed humiliation. "DAD!" Cas couldn't believe he was hearing this. Some hysterical part of his brain told him it would be funny later but at the moment, all he could see was Dean's mortified face, his father's eyes twinkling, satisfied that he'd now thoroughly embarrassed them both. "We're leaving."

"Aww, don't be like that. Here, tell you what, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy the two of you a Victoria's Secret gift card."

Dean gave Cas a look that read all too clearly as 'do I have permission to kill your father?' He shook his head. He knew how to handle this.

"Thanks, dad, we'd like that. I saw a pair of green panties in the window the other day that would look _phenomenal_ on Dean." He gave his father his most dazzling smile, taking advantage of Chuck's surprise to link arms with Dean and make their exit, Dean struggling to stifle his laughter the whole way out.

Once outside the building, Dean burst into laughter. “You…..you are INSANE, do you know that??”

Cas grinned. “Oh yeah.” His smile grew softer, more seductive. “Though I wouldn’t mind taking him up on that gift card.”

Dean immediately turned bright red once more. “I…..me neither,” he managed.

“So….” Cas stepped closer, arms coming up on either side of Dean, boxing him in against the wall. “How about we go on a little shopping trip sometime?”

Dean gave a jerky nod. “I’d like that.”

Cas smiled. “Me too.” He nuzzled along Dean’s jaw, nosing at what he could get of Dean’s throat with the collar and bowtie in the way. “How about we get you home so I can strip you out of this tux?”

He could hear the smile in Dean’s voice as he answered. “That’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”

 

**~*~**

 

_“So what you’re saying is that your principal is deliberately refusing to do anything about this situation?”_

_The Castiel onscreen nodded his head. “That’s right.”_

_“Even after you brought her a petition with….how many signatures supporting Mr. Adler’s removal as both coach and teacher?”_

_Cas didn’t hesitate. “One thousand and fifty two.” The announcer’s brows shot up._

_“That’s a lot.”_

_“It is.” Cas was surprised when Dean spoke up. “He worked hard for those signatures.”_

_“It wasn’t hard,” Cas interrupted. “People didn’t need to be pushed. People WANT to help. They support this cause. Support DEAN.” Dean blushed at that, gaze falling to the floor. The reporter didn’t miss that._

_“You seem to be much less involved than Castiel is.”_

_Dean shook his head. “I’m just kinda shy about the whole situation.” The admission only made him blush more. “I mean, it’s my life being put out there. But the fact that Cas is doing this for me….and I’m really just hoping that, even if it doesn’t work….if we don’t win….that just having this story put out there on the news, reaching so many people….I’m hoping that will make people think. Make people realize that they shouldn’t treat others this way. There are so many times where things like this happen…people just like us get made fun of and harassed to the point where they can’t take it anymore, and sometimes….” he swallowed. “….they kill themselves. So if telling my story can change even one person’s mind about how to behave…..” he nodded. “Then it’s worth it.”_

_The reporter looked incredibly touched. Cas did too…touched and proud. He hadn’t been there when Dean had told Mrs. Harrison that he felt this way; it was the first time he was hearing it. He squeezed Dean’s hand. “But we’re gonna win. I’m gonna make damn sure of that.” He looked to the news anchor. “Dean has always given everything to everyone else. He deserves everything. The BEST of everything. Not for some asshole teacher to call him a faggot and get away with it.”_

_Amazingly, the reporter looked as if he agreed. Generally newspeople tried to stay impartial. This one seemed to take their side. He nodded. “A valid point.” The man turned to face the screen, the audience. “We’ll be back with more after this break.”_

Principal Mosely shut off the TV and looked to Cas. “Mr. Novak…..what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?”

He stared levelly at her. "Exactly what I asked for in my petition.” The answer should have been obvious. “Oh, by the way," he pulled out a piece of paper, "here's a signed affidavit from eight members of the soccer team swearing that Mr. Adler called Dean a faggot before kicking him off the team." 

Mosely looked at Castiel for a moment before pulling the paper towards her, picking it up and perusing it. It hadn’t taken much for six players to sign….the other two required slightly more prodding. All it took was telling them that Cas was going to be going back to CBS with the news that the team shared Adler’s opinion on Dean being a faggot. After that, those two more players had signed _real_ fast. "If you see this and still do nothing, I'm going straight back to the news with legitimate proof that this school doesn't give a shit about bullying or queer-shaming."

Moseley’s face was relatively expressionless, but Cas couldn’t miss the frustration and even anger in her eyes. “……fine,” she said at last. “Fine.”

“Fine’, what?” Cas wasn’t going to make this easy on her.

This time, the anger was plain to see. “Mr. Adler will lose his job. In return, you must tell the papers and the news.”

Cas nodded. “I will be. Not because you said to. But because they should know that Dean got justice.” He rose from his chair. “But I’m not telling them a _thing_ until Adler is gone.”

Principal Moseley was just plain pissed, but she nodded. “Understood.”

Cas picked up the affidavit signed by the soccer players and turned away, striding triumphantly from the office. Dean was waiting for him outside, chewing his lower lip nervously. “Well?”

Cas’ face broke into a huge grin. “We won.”

Dean’s entire face lit up. “Adler’s fired??”

Cas nodded. “He’s gone.”

Then Dean was in Cas’ arms and, despite the inch or two he had on the brunette, Cas was lifting him off the floor and spinning him in a circle, the two of them laughing. This was everything they’d been working for all these months.

Cas set Dean down on the floor and kissed him. “Celebrate?” he asked breathlessly.

Dean nodded, smiling. “Celebrate.”

And the party they had that night, the two of them, Charlie, Bela, Ash, Benny, Sammy, Garth, Jo, Ellen and Bobby, was the loudest and craziest they’d ever had. Bobby had even snuck the boys some whisky while Ellen pretended not to notice. When the two of them flopped into bed at four in the morning, Dean could barely _walk_ , he was so tipsy and exhausted. He snuggled up to Cas, giggling in that way he only did when he was _ridiculously_ happy.

Cas smiled down at him. “What’s so funny.”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just happy.” He looked up at Cas. “Thank you. For making all of this come true.”

Cas’ heart fluttered; he shook his head. “You don’t have to thank me, Dean. I wanted to. I meant what I’ve said: you deserve the best of all things.” 

He could feel Dean smile. “And that’s why I need to thank you…..for thinking that.”

“I don’t think. I _know_. You’re wonderful, and perfect, and I love you.”

Dean leaned up, lips brushing Cas’ chin in a gentle kiss. “I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

Prom was coming up, and the school was aflutter with it. Even Dean. ESPECIALLY Dean. For one thing, he had never gone to prom before (he hadn’t stayed at his last school long enough to attend junior prom). For the second, the theme was Hollywood. HOLLYWOOD. He had actually volunteered to be on the decorating committee just to make sure they did things right. 

Cas had been teasing him to no end over his enthusiasm, but Dean didn’t care. He was too damn happy. He was spending his afternoons in the gym putting up movie posters and crepe paper. At the moment he was on a ladder, stretching to affix a poster to the wall, when suddenly a hand grabbed his ass. “Oi!” He nearly lost his balance, wobbling on the ladder. “Cas!” He stared indignantly down at the boy, who chuckled.

“What. You can’t put an ass like that on display and not expect people to grab it.” Then he frowned. “They’re not, are they? Grabbing it? Cuz random people shouldn’t be grabbing your ass. I’ll be pissed.”

Dean had to laugh. “No, Cas, people aren’t grabbing my ass.”

“Good.” Cas sounded satisfied, and Dean laughed again.

“Dork.” He climbed down from the ladder. “What’re you doing here?”

“It’s time to go home.”

“Is it?” Dean was surprised. “I didn’t realize.”

“That’s cuz you’re all caught up in nerd-dom.”

“Oh, shut up,” he said good-naturedly, and linked his arm with Cas’. “C’mon, then. Let’s head home.”

They walked their way towards the parking lot. “Only three more days till prom,” Cas said.

“I know.” The excitement in Dean’s voice was plain.

“Can’t wait to see you all dressed up.”

Dean laughed. “Cas….you can see that any time.”

“I know, but this time it’s different.”

“How?”

“Cuz we’re gonna go out, and have dinner, and dance…..” Cas was smiling; he linked their fingers together. “….and go to a hotel.”

Dean stopped dead. “What?? A hotel?? You got us a hotel??”

Cas nodded, smiling. “Yeah. That….is that okay? I mean, I know it’s cheesy but that’s sorta why I did it. I know you didn’t have prom before so I figured if we did it we should do it right…..go all the way.”

Dean’s heart did that dumb flutter; he pulled Cas into his arms. “I adore you.”

Cas chuckled. “More than likewise.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was the day before prom, and Dean was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. It was amusing Cas to no end. They walked to lunch hand in hand, and by this point, almost no one stared. It would be nice….if either of them cared. It had stopped bothering them a LONG time ago.

However, when they neared their table, there was something there they would never have expected. Or rather, someONE. TWO someones.

Meg was sitting at their table, somehow over her fear of Cas, though something DID move in her eyes when she saw him. But next to her was the bigger surprise, for beside her was none other than Balthazar himself.

Cas stopped dead. He felt rage boiling within him, and shock. Why on earth would Balthazar come back here after their encounter last time? After being thrown to the ground by both him _and_ Dean? But all of that was suppressed by that anger bubbling up within. Then he felt panic. Dean. Was Dean okay? His head whipped about, looking for his boyfriend, and shock overwhelmed him.

Dean looked….fine. Perfectly fine. No fear, no panic, no pain, regret, anger….none of that. No. He looked to Cas and smiled, completely calm and confident, and despite his surprise, Cas felt himself relaxing. Dean squeezed his hand. “C’mon, hun. We’ve got some assholes to kick out of our table.”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “Looks that way.” And together they headed to the table.

Balthazar and Meg were waiting for them, the former with that obnoxious smirk on his face, the latter with her little smile, but it faltered when she saw the smile on Dean’s face. Obviously she had expected him to panic when he saw Balthazar. This wasn’t going according to plan.

Dean sat, Cas sitting beside him. “Hey, Balthazar…” He looked to Meg. “…..bitch.” Meg’s eyes narrowed at that. “What’re you doing at our table?”

“Free country, isn’t it?”

“Well yea, but you should be over with the rest of your gang of assholes, right?” God, she was looking more and more uncertain by the minute, clearly unsettled by Dean’s confidence. 

Cas was glowing with happiness. The last time they had seen Balthazar, Dean had been so low, convinced he was a horrible, dirty person. When Cas had insisted he was clean, was beautiful, Dean had finally been able to see himself as something better. It seemed that since then, Dean’s confidence had only grown. Cas had seen it to some level over the months but this? This was AMAZING. Cas was filled with joy to see it. He found Dean’s knee beneath the table, rubbing it. Dean threw a smile his way.

“And you, Balthazar…..what are YOU doing back here? I thought the two of us and your cousin let you know last time that you aren’t welcome.”

Balthazar couldn’t completely hide his surprise, either. Last time Dean had been so unsure. “Well, I heard there’s a prom going on.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You know I can’t resist a party.”

Dean was surprised, then comprehension dawned; he looked to Meg. “He’s your date.” She nodded, still looking somewhat nervous. Cas bristled at that bit of information, Dean could feel it. He put his hand on Cas’ knee, squeezing gently. “It’s okay,” he murmured.

“What’s it to you, anyway,” Balthazar asked. “Jealous?”

Dean burst out laughing. “You wish.”

Balthazar shrugged. “Maybe a little,” he said. Meg looked sharply at him. Clearly she didn’t like that response, wanted him to be interested only in her. “After all, you’re one hot piece of ass.”

Cas flinched indignantly, but Dean settled him with another reassuring squeeze to his knee. He had no idea how Dean was staying so damn calm, but he had to try to relax and trust in him.

“Wouldn’t mind another nice hook-up,” Balthazar continued. “Maybe you could blow me out back after the prom. Get that sexy mouth on my cock. Got a nice pair of cock-sucking lips on you.”

Cas tensed up at that. Those were _Dean’s_ words, spoken to him that night over the phone. Balthazar wasn’t allowed to use them. 

“Yeah,” Meg said, and she seemed to have gotten her confidence back, that obnoxious smirk on her face. “We knew that right after the soccer game, didn’t we….Cas.”

That was it. That was the thing that broke him. Cas was on his feet, grabbing the front of her shirt and yanking her up out of her seat until they were inches apart. _There_ it was, there was the panic in her eyes.

"Don’t call me that.” His voice was furious. “Don’t you EVER call me that. Not you.” That was Dean’s name for him. He may allow others to use it, but Meg was not one of those people.

Her eyes were huge, staring at him in barely suppressed fear, but she shoved it aside and managed a little smile. “So sensitive.”

Cas had had enough of this; his grip on her shirt tightened. “So confident with your new friend,” he hissed. “Well don't forget, Meg, he lives in _New York_. He'll be going back soon. Then you'll be left alone here. With me."

She couldn’t hide that fear anymore; those brown eyes were huge and full of sheer terror, even more so than the day he had visited her at home. Cas felt a tap on his shoulder; he glanced back to see Dean regarding him with a mixture of concern and amusement. It was an interesting combination. 

“Cas.” Dean rubbed Cas’s shoulder soothingly. “Let the bitch go.”

Cas couldn’t help it; he huffed a laugh at the words and released Meg. She immediately fled the table so fast that she forgot her lunch, leaving Balthazar behind her.

“As for you….” Cas looked down at him, eyes narrowed into slits. “You’re not going to prom.”

“I’m not, huh.” But despite his bravado, there was something nervous behind Balthazar’s eyes, in his voice.

“No. Because if you do, I will take you out back and I will beat the shit out of you. You will not be able to walk at the end of the night. You will not be able to speak, or see. I will make you so sorry for every miserable thing you have ever done in your entire life, because I’m sure you’ve done a lot, you asshole. But mostly, I will make you sorry for what you did to Dean.”

Balthazar simply looked at them for a long moment….at the anger and dark promise, the sheer hatred in Castiel’s eyes, and Dean….Dean’s face wasn’t amused anymore. He wasn’t angry, but he wasn’t….anything, really. He wasn’t afraid of Balthazar, or traumatized like he used to be. He was just…calm. But he also clearly wasn’t going to stop Cas from hitting Balthazar, if that’s what he chose to do. 

Finally, Balthazar nodded. “Okay.” And he rose, walking away. Dean stroked Cas’ arm, trying to calm him, but then Balthazar called out “Dean?” Dean turned. Balthazar had stopped several feet away. “I’m sorry.” And amazingly, he actually looked it.

Dean felt shock overwhelm him. Of all the things he never would have expected, _that_ was at the top of the list. And he couldn’t say it was okay, because it wasn’t, but even so….he gave a nod to show that he at least heard Balthazar’s apology. With that, the older boy turned and left the lunchroom.

Dean turned to Cas, who looked almost as surprised as Dean felt. Thank God he had at least calmed down. Dean smiled. “Hey.” Cas turned to him and Dean pulled him close, giving him a gentle kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Cas still couldn’t get over how confident Dean was. It made him so happy. He realized suddenly that the rest of their group had filled in the table while they had been having their “discussion”, sticking to the other end of the table so as to give them their space.

Bela raised her brows at them, a worried look on her face; clearly she was concerned about the reappearance of her cousin. “Everything okay?”

Cas looked to Dean, and the blonde smiled. “Everything’s fine.” And wonderfully, it was.

 

**~*~**

 

Prom had been FANTASTIC. Bela and Charlie had looked adorable together, Bela in a long, emerald gown, and Charlie in a tea-length silver one. Benny took a girl called Andrea who he wasn’t dating but it seemed as if they might be soon. Garth had Jo with him, and despite what a great guy Dean thought he was, Dean still gave him a stern talking to about making sure she got home safe and at an early hour. Ash showed up with a girl named Pamela who looked like she could eat him ALIVE.

Dean and Cas could actually dance together. It was WONDERFUL. It was something Dean had never thought he could have: holding Cas in his arms in public, not having to worry about hiding…..that felt so damn good. And he even got Cas to swing dance with him.

Bela and Charlie danced together, which surprised Dean, but made him smile like crazy. Bela was blushing, her cheeks a rosy pink. People all around them looked surprised to see the two girls together, and it surprised Dean even more when he saw that the attention made CHARLIE blush. He never would have imagined Charlie to be shy about anything, especially a girl.

In between songs, he went to her, bumping his shoulder against hers, giving her a smile. “Why Bradbury, I do believe you’re blushing.”

That only made her blush more. She was nearly the color of her hair. “Shut up.”

He laughed. “No. What is it? What’s got you so shy?”

She was having trouble looking at him. “Believe it or not, I’ve never gone public with a relationship before.”

Dean was completely taken aback. “You….are you _serious??_ ”

Charlie nodded. “I am. It never….well…..this town never seemed particularly friendly towards gay people. I never would have expected it to be so accepting, until Cas went forth with his petition and proved me wrong.”

Dean couldn’t help but look at his boyfriend at that, a proud smile on his face. Cas was deep in conversation with Bela; he looked at Dean and smiled. Bela followed his gaze and gave a shy smile to Charlie.

“You….I owe you a huge thanks.”

Dean’s head whipped about to look at Charlie, surprised. She was smiling at him. “What?”

“You and Cas. You came out to everyone, and you had no fear. You paved the way for all of us.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, smiling. “Thank you.”

Now _Dean_ was the one blushing, but he shook his head. “Don’t need to thank me. Neither of us. We were just following our hearts.”

If anything, that only made Charlie’s smile grow; she nodded. “And that’s exactly what makes it so special.”

Dean’s face was burning; he opened his mouth but no response came. Luckily he didn’t need to speak, for Cas and Bela returned.

Cas leaned over Dean’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and kissing his cheek. “What’re you two talking about?”

Dean and Charlie exchanged looks, the both of them smiling. “Nothing much,” Dean said. Charlie could thank Cas later if she wanted to. He couldn’t go through the whole business again without dying from an overload of blushing.

Cas raised a brow, clearly knowing that Dean wasn’t giving him the full story, but he let it slide. “Well, then….how bout we go dance?”

Dean smiled. “That sounds _wonderful_.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was halfway through the night when the song came on. Cas had never heard it before, but clearly Dean had, for he began singing. He pressed his forehead to Cas’ as he softly murmured the words.

_“We’re on top of the world now, darling, so don’t let go. Can I call you mine? So can I call you mine now, darling, for a whole lifetime?”_ But it was the final line that got Cas, that stopped his heart and then sent it pounding, sent it flying. _“My heart finally trusts my mind, and I know somehow its right.”_

For Cas knew that Dean meant those words, could see the truth and love in his eyes, and he knew how important they were to Dean. He knew that after all that Dean had gone through in his life, the pain and heartache and no one but Sam to rely on, how hard it was for him to reconcile what he wanted with all his heart with what he believed in his mind to be real, with what he could trust. And for he, Cas, to be the thing that Dean finally found himself able to rely upon, to trust in and love? That was _everything_.

He found himself pressed against Dean, kissing the boy fiercely, passionately. His eyes were burning when he pulled away. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you _so much_.”

Dean was smiling at him, so happy that his meaning had gotten through. “I love you, too.”

Cas kissed him again, a soft, lingering kiss, laughing when Dean nipped his lip. Dean grinned at him, then, taking his hand, spun him out and twirled him in a circle.

_You’re perfect in every way_  
_I’m gonna shout it out_  
_I wanna tell you now_  
_Cause I know somehow it’s right._

The music made Castiel’s heart pound, Dean’s heart do that flutter thing. They stared into each other’s eyes, the both of them smiling as they danced, completely lost in their own little world.

_And we got time,_  
_We got love_  
_So darling, just say you’ll stay right by my side_  
_Just swear you’ll stand right by my side._

 

**~*~**

 

At the end of the night, he and Cas headed off to their hotel. Cas really had sprung for a nice place. When they got inside, Dean swiped the card key to open the door and was immediately swept off his feet by Cas—literally. He suddenly found himself in Cas’ arms, despite the inch or two of height difference; the boy was strong. “Cas!” He couldn’t help a burst of giggles, arms wrapping around Cas’ neck. “You’re so silly.”

“Got that right.” Cas carried Dean into the room and kicked the door shut behind them, setting Dean down once inside. “Let’s get this night started, baby.”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “Ready when you are, hun.”

 

**~*~**

 

There were clothes scattered all over the room, a half empty bottle of champagne on the table. Gabriel had been only too happy to provide alcohol for them. They had decided to make this night as clichéd-prom as possible and so far they were doing a damn good job of it. They had barely made it in the door before they were stripping each other out of their clothes and Cas quickly had Dean on the floor, fucking into him. It was hard and rough, and over fast. When they were done, Cas was collapsed atop Dean, both of them breathing heavily.

Dean wriggled beneath Cas. “I’m gonna have rugburn on my ass,” he complained. Cas laughed, the sound muffled against Dean’s shoulder. “It’s not funny!” Dean protested, but he couldn’t bite back his own laughter.

Cas pulled away to grin at Dean. “It’s okay. I’ll kiss it better for you.”

“Damn straight you will.”

“Mm…” Cas kissed Dean soft and deep, pulling away slowly, sucking languidly at Dean’s lower lip. “Better swallow down the complaints and hold on tight, baby.” His smile was taking on a wicked edge. “Cuz we’re just getting started.”

 

**~*~**

 

They spent the next several hours having sex in every possible spot they could think of. They had already christened the tub, then taken a shower to clean up and just ended up having sex again. The table was next, and then they finally moved to the bed.

Dean knelt as Cas pressed slick fingers into him, letting out a low moan at the stretch. Somehow, despite all the fucking, it still felt just as good as it had the first time that night. He arched his back, knowing Cas loved the way it looked. Sure enough, Cas’ breath caught and the fingers withdrew, and Dean found himself being flipped over onto his back, Cas driving into him in one swift thrust that had him gasping. “ _Oh!_ ” His hands found the headboard of the bed, grabbing tight. “ _Fuck_ , Cas!”

Cas’ eyes widened at the sight: Dean’s back arching as he bent back to grip the bed, centering himself. “So fucking gorgeous, Dean.” His fingers dug into Dean’s hips as his hips snapped forward hard. 

People were beginning to pound on the wall again. It had been happening on and off all night as they fucked. Now it was around four A.M and their neighbors definitely didn’t enjoy their sexual activities. 

Dean giggled against Castiel's shoulder from his spot on the bed, pinned beneath the other boy. "Should we stop?"

Cas smiled, nuzzling along the smooth expanse of Dean's throat. "Not a chance." His smile grew. “Gotta get working on those kids, right?”

Dean burst out laughing as Cas referenced their discussion from the wedding, the children they would supposedly have someday. “Oh yea, baby. Knock me up.”

Cas let out a bark of laughter. “Well, when you talk like that, how can I refuse?” He thrust harder, hitting that sweet spot with greater force and Dean cried out.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Dean’s fingers dug into Cas’ shoulders. “That. Right there. Fuck, Cas, don’t stop.”

So Cas didn’t. Dean’s grip on his shoulders was painful, but in that perfect way that only added to the pleasure he felt every time he fucked into that tight heat. He must have been successful at maintaining that angle for Dean was a mess, still crying out, but the cries were almost nothing more than gasping whimpers now, he was so out of breath. It was driving Cas absolutely _crazy_.

“ _God_ , Dean.” He slid a hand between them, taking Dean in hand and beginning to stroke him. “You’re so Goddamn beautiful.”

At the first touch to his cock, Dean’s eyes fell shut and he let out a broken whimper. Cas gently stroked his cheek and those green eyes opened. “Look at me,” Cas whispered. Dean’s lashes fluttered as his eyes, hazy with lust, tried to focus. _God_ , he was so beautiful. Cas kissed him gently, ran his thumb over the tip of his weeping cock, pulled away slowly to whisper against his lips “I love you.”

And Dean was coming, crying out so fucking loud he was practically screaming. Cas knew he should be concerned; their neighbors were pissed enough already without throwing screaming into the mix….but he just couldn’t care. Not when Dean looked so damn _good_. Not when he was clinging to Cas, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, one hand finding a handful of brown hair and pulling HARD. His muscles were tightening around Cas’ cock; he could feel them fluttering, hot and tight and _fuck_ , he was coming, biting down on Dean’s throat to stifle a cry of his own. There was the metallic taste of blood in his mouth as he broke skin. Still, Dean was clenching around him, milking every last drop out of him. _Fuck_. He panted against Dean’s throat, gasping for breath.

“Fuck.” Dean’s voice was raw….probably from all the screaming.

Cas somehow managed a breathless laugh. “Yeah.” 

People were still banging on the wall; if anything it had only gotten louder. Cas felt the calming touch of Dean’s fingers stroking through his hair.

“That was fucking _amazing_.”

“Mmm…” Cas hummed. “Got that right.” He didn’t want to move, content to lie there forever in that touch and the smell of Dean’s skin, his heat and sweat and that tang of blood….

He shot up in alarm, staring down at Dean. There, on his throat, was a bloody set of teethmarks. “ _Fuck_.”

Dean was looking up at him in confusion. “What. What is it?”

“Are you kidding?” Cas reached out. “You don’t _feel_ that?” He gently brushed the mark and Dean’s breath caught in a hiss. Cas pulled away as if he’d been burned.

“Hey, hey, no.” Dean immediately realized what Cas was thinking. “Stop freaking out and clean me up.”

Cas stared. “…I…….what?”

Dean grinned. “You heard me. It feels damn good and I want you to pay some attention to it.”

Cas felt heat unfurl in his belly. “…I….” He leaned in and gently licked up the blood that remained on the bite. Dean moaned and it moved something in Cas. Dean _liked_ this. Hesitantly, Cas prodded the cut with his tongue, coaxing more blood forth, eliciting a whimper. Fuck. _Fuck_ this was sexy. 

He pulled away, looking down at his boyfriend. Dean was still flushed from their most recent bout of love-making; he looked up at Cas with wide eyes, and a grin spread across his face. “Have to do that more often,” he said, and Cas couldn’t help a burst of laughter.

There was a sudden knocking on the door. “Excuse me?” The voice was slightly muffled through the wood. “This is the manager.”

“Aw, fuck.” Cas managed to extricate himself from Dean’s grasp with some difficulty and went to do the door, opening it a crack, just enough to see the man.

“Hello. I’m sorry,” and the man truly did look apologetic, “but we’ve had people calling down and complaining about noise in your room.”

Cas could hear Dean snort in the background, but he tried his best to ignore it and not laugh himself. “I’m sorry. We’ll be going to sleep now. No more noise, I promise.”

The manager nodded, looking relieved. “Thank you.”

Cas shut the door with a soft ‘click’, turning back to Dean. The blonde was grinning at him, and Cas couldn’t help but return the smile, shaking his head. “Brat.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” Cas picked up the nearly empty bottle of champagne on the table, carrying it over to the bed with him and crawling in beside Dean. “So….how bout we finish off this fine bottle of champagne Gabriel was kind enough to buy us and then get some sleep?”

Dean smiled. “That sounds like a _wonderful_ idea.”

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So starship_destiel asked me if there would be sequels, since this is almost done. As of now I'm not sure, though since she asked, I began outlining two. Damn her, my new muse.
> 
>  
> 
> **However, in the meantime, I wanted to let you know that I would be interested in writing a series of drabbles for you. Give me an idea for something you would like to see from this verse (something that happened to the boys during some point in this storyline, whether it be at school, at one of their houses....anywhere, anything) and I'll write a story of drabbles. Send them my way!**
> 
>  
> 
> I'm not sure if you guys saw the photo album of the wedding pictures. It's in the author's note at the bottom of last chapter.
> 
> PS- I couldn't resist with the title of Chuck's book. I just couldn't. :P


	38. Burning Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m setting fire to the life that I know  
> Let's start a fire everywhere that we go  
> We starting fires, we starting fires  
> 'Til our lives are burning gold.  
> `'Burning Gold', Christina Perri
> 
>  
> 
> *****READ NOTE AT BOTTOM*****

Dean poked his head into the Novak’s bathroom. It was filled with steam. “Hey, Cas.”

“Gah!” Cas cried out in surprise and there was a loud thud which was probably several shampoo bottles crashing to the floor. “Dean! You scared the crap outta me!”

Dean laughed. “Sorry. Just wanted to let you know I’m here.”

“Aren’t you going to join me?” Cas’ voice sounded almost petulant. Dean chuckled.

“Sorry. I showered before I came.”

“Well fine then. Jerkface.”

That elicited another laugh. “I’ll be in your room.” Dean shut the door and headed to Cas’ room. God knows how long Cas would be. He could take a ridiculously long shower if given the chance. But hopefully he would hurry up now that he knew Dean was here.

Dean stopped. There was something sticking out from under Cas’ mattress. Curiously, he pulled it out. It was a thick envelope, and the return address said ‘UCLA’.

He held it with shaking fingers, unable to tear his eyes away. He didn’t dare open it; he wouldn’t invade Cas’ privacy like that. But he knew what was inside. You only got the thick envelope when you were accepted. Cas had been accepted to UCLA and Dean hadn’t even applied. He had given up once he had been thrown off the soccer team. At that point he hadn’t known about the college fund his grandparents had started for him and he had thought he’d never have the money to afford such a school. He was a damn good student but he still wasn’t good enough to get a scholarship for his academics. And now Cas was accepted and Dean wasn’t. 

Dean heard noise behind him as Cas entered the room, naked but for the towel around his waist. “Get here all early and make me take a short shower,” Cas complained, but he stopped dead when he saw the envelope in Dean’s hands. For a minute he seemed to have nothing to say. “…..Dean…”

Dean shook his head. “It’s okay.” He tossed the envelope onto the bed. “You should go. I know you want to. I know it’s your dream school.”

Cas’s face crumpled; he moved to Dean’s side, shaking his head. “No, Dean. You don’t understand. I applied there before all this started. I applied when both of us were discussing applying there. Then you got kicked off the team and it was too late to take it back. But I’m not going.”

Dean’s heart fluttered hopefully at Cas’ explanation, but then a wave of guilt overcame him. “Cas….” He shook his head. “You can’t do that. I know how much you want to go there. You can’t give it all up for me.”

“I can and I will.” Cas’ face had taken on that stubborn look, the same one it had the entire time he had been fighting for Adler to be fired. “I’m not moving across the country. And maybe that’s stupid, but I don’t care. I need you, Dean.”

Tears welled up in Dean’s eyes; he threw his arms around Cas, pulling him close. “I love you,” he whispered. 

One arm slipped around Dean’s waist, the other hand cupped his head, stroking his hair. “I love you, too. More than anything.” Cas paused, then Dean could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. “My towel fell off.”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise and he pulled away, bursting into laughter when he saw the towel pooled around Cas’ feet, leaving the boy completely naked. “I can’t say I object to the change.”

Cas grinned. “I bet you don’t.”

Dean shook his head, smile softening; he stroked Cas’ cheek, murmuring “you’re so perfect,” and Cas knew he wasn’t talking about the nudity, but of Castiel’s willingness to give up everything to stay there with Dean. He turned into Dean’s hand, kissing his palm.

“More than likewise.” He covered Dean’s hand with his own, smiling at him. “Come to bed?”

Dean nodded. “Gladly.”

And when Cas was in his pajamas, the two of them curled up in bed, Dean felt so safe in his arms; he thought back to that night after Bela’s party when Cas had promised never to leave him. It was clear now, more than ever, how very much Cas meant that promise. 

“I love you,” Dean whispered.

Cas stroked his hair, smiling. “I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was getting close to the end of school, and graduation, and Dean was excited, despite the lack of scholarship or elite schools he might have attended had he gotten one (particularly UCLA). He had honestly never thought he’d graduate, what with moving around so much, never thought he’d go to college. Now he was not only going to go to college, but he had his pick of them. He had been accepted to every school he had applied to. Cas had applied to all the same ones, which Dean had objected to, but which secretly made him deliriously happy. Everyone would think they were stupid for choosing the same school just so they could be together, but neither of them cared. They wanted to be together, no, needed to be together. And to them, that wasn’t an exaggeration. Besides, they were being careful to choose schools that had both good English and Art programs, the former for Dean’s burgeoning interest in writing and the latter for Cas’ consistent love of art.

As the days got warmer, Dean and Garth began practicing soccer drills after school. Bobby hadn’t objected to giving Dean the odd day off now and then, especially now that the weather was warming up. Other players had the same idea and would often be out on the field when the two boys showed up. Some smiled hesitantly at Dean, giving him a little wave; others glared. He didn’t much care either way, though he did wave back. After all, the ones who signed that affidavit HAD helped him and Cas win their case.

One warm sunny day he and Garth were busy with drills when he heard a voice call his name. “Dean Winchester?”

He managed to block Garth’s shot, kicking it back to him, then turned. “Who wants to know?”

The man was tall, slightly taller than Dean, and probably about forty, and he was smiling. “My name is Thomas Hightower. I’m the sports scout for UCLA.” He offered his hand.

Dean felt his heart stop; he stared, eyes huge. Then Garth’s elbow connected with his side and his senses returned to him; he took the man’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically. “Hi. I mean, hello. How are you?”

Amusement twinkled in the man’s eyes. “I’m fine, thank you. I wanted to speak to you. I came to that game on November sixth…” _The game where you kissed your boyfriend in front of everyone_ , were the words Dean heard ringing in his head. _The game where you made a spectacle of yourself_.

Dean again felt his chest tighten, but he forced himself to breathe. This man wouldn’t have come all the way out here from California to tell him what a disappointment he was. Right?

“So you saw…..everything,” he managed, voice very tiny. The man nodded.

“I did.” Dean’s heart sank. “And the school was informed.” Into his sneakers. “And no one cares.”

…..what? Dean just stared, unable to find a thing to say. 

Mr. Hightower smiled. “We may be many things, Dean, but we’re not bigots. And while we aren’t fans of dramatic shows of any kind on the sports field, we aren’t going to hold it against you for having a relationship with someone of the same sex. You’re one hell of a player.”

Dean couldn’t speak, simply staring, at a loss. “…I…… _really?_ ”

The man chuckled. “Really. So…” he reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. “If you’re interested…” he offered it to Dean. “We at UCLA would like to offer you a soccer scholarship.”

Fuck. Oh God. Dean couldn’t breathe, his heart pounding; he reached out, taking the envelope with trembling hands. Somehow he managed to open it, pulling out the paper within. 

_Dear Dean,_  
 _As the head soccer coach, it is my pleasure to offer you the opportunity to attend UCLA on a full grant-in aid scholarship.  
We have completed a thorough evaluation of you as both an athlete and a student, and sincerely believe you have the talent necessary to succeed both on the field and in the classroom. Our offer includes all school fees, books, room, and board._

The letter continued on to say that the scholarship was contingent upon Dean continuing to pass all his classes, meeting academic requirements, but he barely noticed that part; there was no way it would be a problem. His eyes were glazing over, hands shaking so hard it was amazing the paper didn’t fall through his trembling fingers. He looked up at Mr. Hightower with huge green eyes. The man was smiling, clearly aware of Dean’s emotions simply by his reaction and anticipating his answer before he gave it.

It took a minute for Dean to find his voice, his throat clogged with emotion. “Yes,” he finally managed. “ _Yes_.”

Hightower chuckled. “I was hoping you’d say that. You’ll be one hell of an addition to the team.” 

Dean’s face was flushing, whether from the praise or from happiness, he didn’t know. Probably a mixture of both. “Thank you.” The words were practically whispered.

The man nodded to the paper. “You’ll have to reply to them in writing. There’s a form in there for you to fill out and an envelope. Send it quick.”

Dean was nodding again, rapidly. “I will. I promise I will.”

Hightower was smiling. He really seemed like a nice guy, genuinely happy for Dean. “I know you will.” He nodded to Garth, then Dean. “You both have a nice day.” And he turned to leave.

He had barely made it ten steps, Dean staring after him, before he turned to Garth, constantly-smiling Garth. But this time, the grin on Garth’s face was positively blinding. Dean’s face split into a grin that could rival it and before he knew what was happening, the two of them were jumping up and down like a pair of twelve year old girls, whooping with excitement, hugging. Everyday-Dean would be embarrassed to see himself, but this wasn’t everyday-Dean. These were special circumstances. Damn special.

The other players had stopped to watch and Dean looked at them, grinning. None of THEM had been approached by Mr. Hightower. Of all the players at that game it was him, Dean, who got the scholarship. The one guy nobody thought had a chance after kissing Cas. He got a full-ride to UCLA. He half wished Adler was still coaching just so he could throw it in the fat fool’s face. UCLA wanted _him_. HIM! Instead, he settled for tossing a triumphant look at the other soccer players. Suck on THAT, jerkwads.

He looked at Garth, still breathless from all that jumping around. “I gotta find Cas.”

“Oh!” It had completely slipped Garth’s mind in all their excitement. He gave Dean a tiny shove. “Go. Tell him.”

Grinning, Dean gave Garth one final hug and turned, running off towards the parking lot.

 

**~*~**

 

“CAS!” Dean threw the door to Cas’ room open so hard that it slammed against the wall. Cas had been sitting on his bed drawing, trying to put together more pieces for his portfolio, but he shot up at that entrance, eyes wide in surprise.

“Holy shit, Dean!” Those eyes were huge, uncertain, clearly unsure whether he should be worried or excited. “What’s going on??”

But Dean was crossing the room, pushing Cas’ sketchbook out of his lap and crawling into its place, shoving the letter in Cas’ face. “I got in! I got into UCLA!”

He could see the change in Cas’ face, the shock as he reached for the paper. “I thought you didn’t apply….?”

Dean shook his head. “I didn’t. The scout. The one who was at the game. He came by today….said they didn’t care about the kiss, that they wanted me. I got a scholarship!” He still hadn’t fully relinquished the paper to Cas, waving it around in his face. The shock in those blue eyes was being overcome by the most amazing happiness, joy, that Dean had ever seen.

“Oh my God, Dean!” And Cas was on top of him, pinning him back against the mattress as he kissed him, hugging him tight. “I can’t believe it!” He was smiling. “I TOLD you you’re amazing.”

Dean laughed. “You say that about EVERYTHING I do.”

“Well, yeah. Cuz it’s true.” Cas finally managed to extract the letter from Dean’s hand and read it, eyes aglow as he took in every word. “Dean this is so wonderful.”

“You know what this means, now.” Cas looked questioningly down at Dean. “It means you have to reply to your acceptance to UCLA. I’m not going if you’re not going.”

Cas’ eyes suddenly looked vaguely panicked. “Oh, shit!” He rolled off of Dean and yanked open the drawer to his bedside table, fishing out the UCLA packet, pulling out a piece of paper, eyes rapidly skimming over it. “Fuck. I only have two more days to let them know if I’m going.”

“FUCK.” Dean thought about it, mind racing. “….can you do it online?”

Cas looked mildly surprised, as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “…..oh.” An abashed smile. “I hadn’t thought of that." Dean laughed. “Shut up.” He moved to grab his laptop, sitting on the bed with it. “Brat.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” Cas absentmindedly stroked Dean’s hair as he went to the UCLA website, finding the appropriate section and logging in. “Yup.” It didn’t take much before “all done!” He turned to Dean with a smile. “Looks like we’re both going to UCLA.”

Dean pounced on him, Cas laughing as they landed in what was quickly becoming a messy tangle of sheets. “I love you,” he said breathlessly in between kisses.

“I love you, too.”

 

**~*~**

 

Everyone had been so ridiculously excited to hear Dean’s news, though Ellen had cried at the thought of him moving so far away. Even Sam had looked suspiciously shiny-eyed, though he said he wouldn’t miss Dean and called him a jerk, which made Dean laugh. Honestly he would miss them all too, like crazy, but the opportunity was far too great. He could play soccer and study English and Writing, and Cas could do his Art. It would be _wonderful_. They had already put in a request for Cas to be his roommate, which might not be granted, but they were keeping their fingers crossed.

Graduation was coming up fast. Dean hated the idea of having to dress up again, though at least it wasn’t a tuxedo this time. And Bela was throwing a party afterwards. Not anything big. This time it would be just their tiny group of friends, plus the addition of Benny’s new girlfriend Andrea (Dean had known it was going to happen) and Ash’s….girlfriend? He wasn’t sure….Pamela. She kind of scared Dean, but if anyone could handle her, it was Ash.

The day before graduation, Bobby and Ellen sat the two boys down. Dean looked at them inquisitively. “What’s up, guys?”

“We just wanted to talk about that party tomorrow night.”

Dean bit back a sigh. Generally it was nice when Bobby and Ellen did the parental thing (since John NEVER did it) but sometimes it was just frustrating. “What about it?”  


"Now, we know there will be alcohol, so don't try with the innocent looks.” _Dammit_. Dean was damn good at the innocent look, and Cas was even better, what with those big blue eyes. Seems like Ellen had figured them out by now. “We just want to know if we should drop you off. As a safety precaution. To make sure you don't get drunk and make the bad decision to drive."

Dean was legitimately offended. "I would _never_." Though he knew they were just concerned, so he couldn't really be mad.

"We're just looking out for you, baby."

Dean gave Ellen a smile. "I know, majka." He paused, then his smile grew. "We can always just take Cas' car. That piece of crap Prius will most likely break down by the time we reach the house." He laughed as Cas punched him.

Bobby was clearly trying not to laugh along with him. “While that’s not a bad point,” and now Cas was scowling at HIM, “we’d like to just make certain you’re safe.”

“Bobby, don’t worry. Bela always takes keys when people get there and she herself rarely ever drinks more than a single glass of wine, so there’s no chance of her returning them. Besides, this isn’t like other parties. It’s only going to be a few of us. It’s not going to be some big drunken thing.”

Both adults still looked concerned, but much less so than before. Finally Ellen nodded. “Okay. Just…call us if you need us.”

Dean nodded. “I promise.”

 

**~*~**

 

The stage lights were blindingly bright, but Dean didn’t care. He was _graduating_. Cas had already gotten his diploma, his last name falling in the middle of the alphabet, and Dean had given Gabriel a run for his money with how loud he cheered…..a fact which did _not_ go over well with the teachers, who had told the students not to cheer while onstage. Dean didn’t care. There was no way he wasn’t going to cheer for his boyfriend.

When it was his turn, his legs were shaking as he crossed the stage to receive his diploma, but the whoops and hollers of his family and friends made him grin, the smile almost splitting his face. He could see flashes go off, no doubt Ellen taking pictures, and he returned to his seat, diploma in hand. He was unable to take his eyes off it. It was only a piece of paper and yet it was so much more. This signified that he had graduated. He had _actually graduated_. And not only that, he had graduated with honors. It was almost impossible to believe, but here in his hands was tangible proof.

After the ceremony he met up with his family. Ellen had tears in her eyes and squeezed him so tight he could barely breathe. Sam was obviously close to crying as well, though he had so far managed to hold back. 

Bobby shook his hand. “Congratulations, boy. You did a good job.” Jo hugged him. It was about then that Cas found him, Gabriel in tow, and then he too had to endure a round of hugs from Ellen and the others.

Gabriel smiled at Dean. “Congratulations, Romeo.” Dean rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks.”

Now Bela and the others were all heading their way, and Ellen sighed. “I suppose its time to let you two go off to your party.”

Dean frowned, concerned. “Is that okay?”

She shook her head. “I’m just worried. You know me. But I trust you boys.”

Bela smiled at her. “Don’t worry, Ellen. It’s just the group of us. Nothing crazy.”  
It turned out she was wrong.

 

**~*~**

 

The party started normal enough. There WAS alcohol, but not much at all. No one was intending to get raging drunk. They had picked out a pile of movies to watch, and everyone had contributed snacks. All of them changed into their pajamas almost as soon as they walked in the door. It was basically a huge slumber party, and they were intending to spend a quiet night like complete dorks.

But life had other plans.

Around midnight, there came a knock on the door. Everyone turned to Bela, who looked back at them with surprise on her pretty face. “Don’t look at me, _I_ didn’t invite anybody.” Still she got up and headed to the door.

There on the front steps was a crowd of people, food and beer in hand. They didn’t wait to be invited in, they simply pushed past Bela.

“Um….excuse me?” She tried to get their attention but there were too many, at least thirty.

Dean and Cas had risen and moved to join her. “What the hell is going on?”

“I have no idea!”

“Aren’t you having a party?” That voice was familiar…..annoyingly so. Turning, they saw Lucas standing there, smirking at them. “You usually have parties for big events like this.”

The look on Bela’s face could kill. “ _You_ invited all these people here??” He shrugged, not wanting to cop to anything. But now there was music playing and people were drinking; food and beer were being spilled everywhere. Some people had their graduation caps on still and were tossing them about. Somehow a nice calm night had quickly devolved into chaos.

Dean felt a presence to his left and turned. Benny was there, cracking his knuckles. Oh man. If _Benny_ was ready to fight, these guys better watch out. Benny was one scary motherfucker. Now if…..yup, here came Garth. Garth and Benny at the same time….Dean would NOT want to be any of these guys. With the two of them, he doubted that he was needed but he helped anyway, and quickly he and the others (though honestly, Benny and Garth were responsible for most of it….they were damn scary) steered everyone out of the house. Even after it was empty, Cas was outside, putting the fear of God into Lucas. Dean had to go out and grab him by the back of his shirt and drag him into the house, yelling all the way.

Cas was pouting when they got inside. “Why’d you stop me?” he demanded.

“Because you were about to make the guy piss himself and Bela didn’t need any more of a mess to clean up.”

Cas’ anger broke at that as he snorted in laughter, but it was true; the place was a mess. There were chips all over the floor, beer spilled everywhere, and…..a graduation cap in the fish tank? Dean pulled it out. “Assholes,” he muttered. Everyone was quiet, not knowing what to say or do.

“Well,” Charlie said brightly, breaking the silence. “THAT was interesting.”

Her tone of voice made everyone laugh and the tension vanished. “Here,” Andrea said, “how about we clean up and then settle in? Between the group of us it shouldn’t take long.”

Bela actually smiled, despite all that had just happened. “I think that’s a wonderful plan.”

 

**~*~**

 

It was well past three in the morning when they went to bed. Most of them were tipsy, having played a few drinking games. They had even played a round of spin the bottle, which had some pretty hilarious moments. Dean having to kiss Benny was one of them. Cas couldn’t be bothered, especially not when he saw the way Benny turned bright red at the awkwardness of it all, and Cas had burst out laughing when Dean had given the boy a great big smack on the lips. Pamela really was something of a wildcat, and Bela had proved surprisingly possessive when Pamela kissed Charlie a little bit more passionately than Bela liked. Bela took the back of the girl’s shirt and yanked her off. Luckily Pamela only laughed, Bela squeezing Charlie’s hand, and by the time they were done, no one ended up legitimately upset with each other.

But once they played three different drinking games, they all voted it bedtime, everyone’s heads swimming a little bit. Dean and Cas laid claim to the guest bedroom, since the only other official couple (Benny and Andrea) weren’t at a stage in their relationship when they were sleeping together, and Ash and Pamela weren’t dating yet.

Cas flopped back onto the bed, immediately tugging a giggly Dean into his arms. He was drunk, he was happy, he was going to his dream school with the boy he wanted to marry.....things couldn't get any better. Quickly, both of them fell asleep, clinging tightly to each other.

Cas awoke several hours later to a strange sensation. He blinked groggily, vaguely aware that his head was clear, the alcohol having worn off. "Dean?" Then he realized THAT'S what the sensation was. Dean's mouth was on his cock. "DEAN!"

Dean looked up at him without stopping and those green eyes were completely lucid. Dean was 100% sober. "Fuck."

At that, Dean pulled off him. "What?" His voice was wrecked and raw from having Cas' cock down his throat and fuck all if that didn't make Cas' dick throb.

Cas smiled, reaching down to stroke Dean’s soft blonde hair. "GREAT way to wake up."

Dean smiled, slowly kissing his way up Cas’ chest until they were face to face. “Glad we agree.” They shared a slow, deep kiss, then Dean pulled away, kissing Cas’ throat, nipping gently. Cas moaned, head tipping back to allow Dean better access. Dean nuzzled. “Think Bela will mind if we fuck in the guest bedroom?” he whispered.

Cas huffed a laugh. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

That made Dean chuckle; he kissed Cas again.

“Shit.” Realization dawned. “We don’t have any lube.” But then Dean pulled away. “Hey. Where’re you going?” Cas’ voice was full of disappointment. In response, Dean crawled into Cas’ lap, straddling him, and took his hand. Cas waited, confused, as Dean pulled Cas’ hand towards him, around him, and Cas’ breath caught as he realized what Dean was doing. He let Dean push his fingers between his cheeks and he gasped as he felt the slickness there; his fingers slipped into Dean easily. He looked up at Dean, eyes wide and surprised. “I don’t….”

Dean nodded in the direction of the nightstand. There was a bottle of lotion there. Cas looked back at Dean. “You…..you did this while I was asleep?” Dean nodded. “You didn’t _wake_ me so I could watch??”

Dean burst into laughter at Cas’ indignation. “No. I wanted you to fuck me as soon as you woke up.”

In punishment, Cas pressed his fingers deeper into Dean and twisted; Dean let out a little cry, immediately slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle it. Too little, too late.

“That’s what you get for not sharing such a beautiful sight with me.”

“Nngh…..couldn’t.” Dean rocked back on Cas’ prodding fingers. “Wanted you inside me….right away. FUCK, Cas, stop it!”

Cas obediently removed his fingers and moved to sit up so he could get Dean on his back but Dean shook his head. He put both hands on Castiel’s chest and gave him a shove, pushing Cas flat on his back. But before Cas had a chance to question him, to ask what he was doing, Dean was raising his hips, centering himself, and Cas’s eyes went huge in shock. “Dean…” 

But he didn’t manage anything more than that before Dean lowered himself, sheathing himself on Castiel’s cock, shuddering as he was filled. “ _Oh_.”

“ _Fuck!_ ” They had never done _this_ before, and Dean was so Goddamn _tight_. Cas couldn’t move for fear he would lose control far too soon. He merely put his hands on Dean’s hips, caressing them. In response, Dean’s hands found Cas’ chest, balancing himself. Those green eyes had closed in pleasure as he had been filled; now they opened, gazing at Cas with unbridled lust. 

“…Cas….” his voice was heavy with need. Slowly, he gave a roll of his hips.

Cas bit back a muffled cry. “ _Fuck_ , Dean.”

“ _Yea_.” The word was a sigh, Dean’s eyes half closed again at the pleasure he was feeling; his hips rolled again, setting up a steady rhythm. 

_God_ , Dean looked gorgeous. Cas had never seen him like this, so in control. For he _was_ in control. Generally when they had sex, things were balanced between them, but this? This was completely Dean’s show. Cas could do nothing but sit there and watch as Dean rode him, that beautiful look in his eyes, on his face, cheeks flushed. He was so Goddamn tight and now he was moaning. “ _Caaas_ …” 

Cas couldn't tear his eyes off Dean. Seated above Cas like that, hips rolling slowly, smoothly....he looked like he was flying. His eyes were shut in pleasure, head tipped back, exposing the long line of his throat, his hair a mess. Castiel didn't think he had ever seen anything more beautiful.

“So gorgeous, Dean…. _Fuck_.”

“Come on, Cas….” He gave a particularly rough rock of his hips which Cas knew sent his cock brushing Dean’s prostate by the way he twitched, hips jerking. “Cock feels so fucking good in me.”

Oh God. Dean was going to talk dirty to him? Shit. Fuck. He stared up at Dean, mouth open in shock.

“Feel so good fucking me. Could ride you like this all night.” Dean’s hands were still on Cas’ chest; he brushed his thumbs over Cas’ nipples, eliciting a cry. “Come for me, baby. Come in me.”

Cas was coming before he even realized it, thrusting up into Dean as though he would bury himself there. His fingers were digging into Dean’s hips so hard that they were leaving marks. He saw Dean watching him, pleasure in his eyes both sexual and from bringing pleasure to Cas. Cas realized that Dean hadn’t yet come. His own head was still fuzzy from his orgasm; he wrapped a hand around Dean’s weeping cock and began to stroke. At the first touch, Dean gasped and thrust into Cas’ hand. It took no more than four strokes before Dean was coming, hips bucking up into Cas’ touch, crying out his name. Cas felt that wet heat hit his hand, his chest, but it was all secondary to the way Dean looked, those hips still moving, his head thrown back, eyes shut as waves of pleasure overwhelmed him.

It was a totally different experience. Usually it was Cas’ goal to make Dean come first and generally, what with the position they were in, he was successful. But in that case, he didn’t fully get to enjoy Dean’s orgasm because he was still pushing towards his own. This time, he had already come and got to watch Dean in the full throws of orgasm…..every single bit of passion overwhelming that beautiful face. It was wonderful, and absolutely lovely. He reached up, stroking Dean’s cheek. The boy twitched, surprised. He was still out of it, overcome with the last throws of orgasm. Those green eyes were disconcerted as they searched for focus before finally settling on Cas.

Cas smiled up at him. “Hey, baby.” His voice was soft.

Dean let out a sigh, managing a smile. “Hey.”

Cas ran his hands over Dean’s stomach, his chest. “You…..that…..you were fucking _gorgeous_.”

Dean smiled. “Yea?” Something wicked lurked at the corner of his mouth. “You like me up here?” He gave a tiny roll of the hips, and Cas made a little ‘eep’. He swatted Dean’s backside.

“Yes. Yes I do.”

Dean laughed. “We’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“Oh, most definitely.” 

Dean sighed happily, shifting just enough so he was lying down, his legs still wrapped around Cas’ waist. “Should get up and clean up so we don’t mess up Bela’s sheets, but I don’t want to move.”

Cas chuckled. “Likewise.” He paused. “Think we could just buy her new sheets?”

Dean let out a burst of laughter. “Are you kidding? This is BELA we’re talking about. These sheets probably cost like, a thousand dollars. For a pillowcase.”

“True.” They got out of bed, making sure the sheets weren’t stained, then headed to the bathroom. Cas looked at Dean. “Shower?”

Dean raised a brow. “At five in the morning?”

Cas shrugged. “Why not?”

Dean smiled and shrugged back, echoing. “Why not.”

 

**~*~**

 

“And you’re certain you have everything?”

Dean sighed, shaking his head with a smile on his face. “Yes, majka.”

Ellen gave his cheek a tiny swat. “Hey. Don’t you shake your head at me. You can’t expect me not to worry about you. Especially when you’re moving across the whole country.” Her voice was thick with tears, though she wasn’t visibly crying yet.

“I know, I know.” 

Cas approached, Chuck and Gabriel by his side. “You ready to go?” They would be driving to UCLA in the Impala, all their possessions packed in the back. It would surely be a long, hot, exhausting trip, and they were going to love every minute of it.

Dean looked back at his parents, his sister and brother. “Bye Jo…..Sammy.” He hugged his sister. Hugging Sammy was harder. He and his brother had barely been apart a day in his life. Now they would be on opposite sides of the country. Sam’s eyes were suspiciously glassy. Dean ruffled his hair. “You take care of these guys for me, okay bitch?”

That made Sammy smile through his tears. “Jerk.”

Dean moved to his parents. “Bye, Bobby.” He twitched, wanting to give a hug but never knowing how Bobby felt, and offered a hand. With a smile on his face, Bobby took Dean’s hand and pulled him into a hug.

“Bye, Dean. You have fun, you hear? And don’t you forget to call us regularly. Ellen will be panicking if she doesn’t hear from you.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “I will. I promise.” Lastly, he turned to Ellen. “Bye, majka,” he said softly.

Ellen was crying. She pulled him into her arms, squeezing him so tightly he couldn’t breathe. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.” 

She cupped his face, looking into his eyes. “Now you behave, you hear me? And work hard, and have fun.”

He nodded, smiling. “I will. I promise.”

She wiped her eyes. “Now go on. Get out of here.” Clearly she was embarrassed about crying. He nodded and headed to the car, Cas following, both of them sliding into the front seat.

“Bye, everybody!” He waved out the window as he revved the engine to life, then pulled out of the driveway and headed off down the road.

The two boys were quiet for several long minutes, both thinking of their families and how long it would be until they saw them again. Then, Cas turned to Dean.

“You ready for this?”

Dean glanced at Cas. “What….college?” Cas nodded. Dean smiled. “Not really.” That made Cas laugh. 

“Me neither, honestly,” he admitted. Dean chuckled. A cool breeze blew in the windows, ruffling Cas’ brown hair. “Still,” he continued, “…..bring it on.”

Dean looked at Cas in surprise. Those blue eyes were smiling at him in that way that only Cas could, and as always it made Dean’s heart do that stupid flutter. He smiled back. 

“Bring it on,” he agreed, and gunned the engine off down the highway, carrying with them their hopes and dreams and leaving all doubts and fears abandoned behind them on the wind.

 

**~fin~**  
 **(Other than the epilogue)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two chapters of a college sequel outlined, and the Freshman year is half written. So I hope you guys actually want to read more of this verse, because it's coming. You can blame starship_destiel for inspiring me to write more. And when I post the epilogue, you can let me know if you'd like to see more of THAT in a sequel, once the college has ended, because I've also outlined some of that. Do I have a life? No, no I do not.
> 
> I will also still take suggestions for drabbles if you'd like to see any situations that take place during this story. Just let me know if you're interested in seeing the boys in college. I hope so, cuz it's happening lol


	39. Every Color in the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every color in the world is in your eyes  
> And everywhere you look you shine a light  
> Hollow as the night until I saw you  
> I came back to life when I saw you
> 
> It doesn't matter if the stars forget us  
> It doesn't matter if the world don't know our names  
> It doesn't matter if they talk about us  
> It doesn't matter cause we are in, we are in love  
> ~'We are in Love', Cider Sky
> 
>  
> 
> ****READ NOTE AT END OF CHAPTER****

***FIVE YEARS LATER***

Cas parked his car in the driveway, gaze immediately drawn to the soon-to-be garage, currently just a framework of a building. The sound of hammering rang throughout the air, and he shielded his eyes against the bright afternoon sun as he looked up at the figure perched precariously atop that skeletal plywood frame and rickety scaffolding. “Dean Winchester! You get down from there right now!”

Dean looked down at his husband, one gloved hand wiping the sweat from his brow. “What are you, my mother?”

“I should hope not, or something is very dysfunctional with our marriage.”

Dean laughed at that. “Fair enough.” But he still didn’t move. Cas frowned.

“Come down.”

“I just have a little more to do.”

“No you do not. We hired contractors to do that.”

The two men stared at each other, but it was clear Castiel wasn’t going to budge. With a sigh, Dean climbed down, setting aside the hammer and pulling off his work gloves. 

“What the hell were you DOING up there?” Cas demanded.

And now Dean’s face was slightly abashed. “Writer’s block,” he admitted. “I hit a wall.”

Cas sighed. “Dean…” He shook his head, taking Dean’s hand. “That doesn’t mean you come outside and climb the house.”

“I didn’t climb the house!” Dean protested, letting Cas lead him inside.

“Going to break your neck,” Cas muttered to himself.

“You’re such a worrier.” But Dean obediently stood still as Cas wet a washcloth with cold water and wiped Dean’s heated brow.

“I am not. And you’ll find your story. Your last one came out well, didn’t it?”

Dean flushed at the reminder. His first book had had relatively good success, staying at the top of the New York Time’s best seller’s list for several weeks. 

“I still wish you’d let me do the art for this one.”

That only made Dean blush more. “No. You’d just draw me, like with the first book.”

“You make an excellent model,” Cas said mildly.

“Yea well I don’t need the entire world seeing me on the cover of my books.”

Cas grinned. “You’re almost as mysterious an author as the mysterious Carver Edlund.”

Dean had to laugh at that. “Oh, shut up.”

“No.” Cas stroked Dean’s brow. “You know, you could publish some of your poems. They’re wonderful.”

To be honest, Dean had been contemplating that for a while, but he was too nervous. He chewed his lower lip. “You really think I should?”

Cas nodded. “I love your poetry. I think it’s absolutely beautiful.”

Even though Dean always thought Cas had a much higher opinion of him than he should, the words still warmed him. “I….” He smiled. “Okay.”

Cas smiled. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Good.” Cas paused, then asked hopefully “can I do some art for THOSE?”

Dean burst into laughter. He hadn’t been expecting that question, though he supposed he should have. “I don’t know. Are you going to make every one of them look like me?”

Cas just looked at Dean, then raised his hand, two fingers indicating ‘tiny’ or, in this case, ‘a few’. “Just some of them.”

Dean laughed again, shaking his head. “Fine. You can do the illustrations.” Cas’ face lit up; Dean held up a finger. “BUT I get to approve them first.”

Cas was nodding. “Of course. Naturally.” It didn’t change how excited he looked, though. _God_ , he was so funny. “You want to take a bath?”

It was probably a good idea. Dean was all sweaty. He nodded. “Sounds good.” He headed towards the bathroom but heard Cas say “oh!” so he stopped, turning. “What is it?” 

Cas was rifling through his bag. “Just have some pictures from class today. I thought I’d put them on the fridge.” He pulled out several papers, drawings done by the children in the art class he taught. 

Dean chuckled. “They sent you home with more, huh.”

Cas smiled. “Yes.” He began sticking the crude drawings to the fridge with magnets. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, leaning his chin on Cas’ shoulder as he looked at the drawings. “You know, I’m really glad you decided to major in teaching as well as art. You’re really good at it.”

Cas blushed happily. “You think?”

“I _know_.” Dean gestured to the fridge. “Look at this. You can barely see the damn _fridge_ anymore, those kids give you so many drawings.”

Cas chuckled, smiling. “True.”

Dean kissed Cas’ cheek, nuzzling his neck. “You’re really good with kids.”

Cas turned in Dean’s arms so he could face him, arms going around his neck. “You are, too. I’ve seen you with those kids you coach. They adore you.”

Dean flushed, embarrassed. “Yea well soccer is different than teaching.”

Cas shook his head. “Coaching is a form of teaching.”

Dean just laughed. “Fine, okay, we’re both good with kids. Is that good?”

Cas nodded, satisfied. “That’s good.”

Dean just shook his head, grinning. “Silly.” With Cas in his arms like that, he could see over his shoulder and straight to the fridge, to those childish drawings. “….so…..do you maybe want to have one sometime soon?” His voice was hesitant, almost scared, and it only got worse when he felt Cas freeze in his arms. “We don’t have to, it’s okay if--” but he didn’t get any further for Cas was kissing him, arms wrapped about him so tight that he couldn’t breathe. “I…..what?” he managed once they separated.

“Yes,” Cas answered breathlessly. “ _Yes!_ ”

Dean’s entire face lit up, smiling so big it hurt. “Yes?”

“Yes!”

Dean pulled Cas into another kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Cas was stroking his hair. “More than anything.”

And standing in their house, both of them with jobs they loved, married and talking about kids, Dean couldn’t help but think back to when he first moved to Connecticut. At the time he had been so angry….angry at his father for moving them yet again, angry at being relocated to such a quiet, nothing little town…..but then he met this boy at a tag sale. A totally random meeting that set off such a beautiful chain of events—boyfriend, family, reunions, college-- that had led them here to this moment. And he couldn’t help but remember those words Cas had spoken to him all those years ago: _Good things do happen_.

He stroked Cas’ cheek, looking into those blue eyes of this man he loved so much, and knew that never in all the world had there been words so true.

Cas caught Dean’s hand, covering it with his own. “Whatcha thinking bout,” he asked softly, a smile on his face.

Dean shook his head. “Nothing. Just how you told me once that good things do happen, and how true it turned out to be.”

Cas’ smile grew at the words. “And it’s just going to keep getting better from here on out.” He kissed Dean’s palm. “Kids.”

“Kids,” Dean affirmed. Then a thought occurred to him, and he smiled at Cas, echoing the words of years ago. “All in?”

Cas laughed, and leaned in to kiss Dean, murmuring the answer against his lips. “All in.”

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's all! Except for the sequels, which are coming!
> 
> I'm giving you my email, so you can send me any ideas/requests for drabbles and seriously, please DO send me them. Any and all thoughts you might have, I'd love to hear them. I want to write as much of this verse as possible. I love these boys and will keep writing them as long as you want to read them. 
> 
> I'm at furtado_chm@hotmail.com
> 
> It's been a great ride, better than I ever could have hoped for, and I hope it continues!


	40. Sequels posted!

I just wanted to let you know (those who haven't noticed) that the sequels are up. Their college years are posted and I've begun the story of their married life together. So if you haven't seen those, go check them out!

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I write Dean as a blonde. Young Jensen was pretty damn blonde. Deal with it. :P


End file.
